Bound By Madness: Book One
by Calintha
Summary: She started life as the daughter of a miner and his wife. After an accident in her early years of life, she loses her ability to speak. To survive, she makes choices that sometimes go against what her father tried to teach her. Eventually, she must make choices that lead her deeper down the dark pathways of life and eventually, she is losing more than she bargained for.
1. Chapter 1

I was just a small child, barely even old enough to play outside with the other local children, when I lost my ability to speak. I can't really remember how it happened, the whole day nothing but one big blur of colors and sounds, all ending with a scream and then silence. I didn't even know if the scream had been from me or someone else.

Father never could find any sign of damage to my throat and no matter how many priests he took me to, all the prayers to their Gods and Goddesses did nothing to bring my voice back to me. Not that I really understood at the time, other than one day I had been able to make words and the next, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't make even the faintest of words pass my lips.

I was blessed though, even in my mute state, for my father had learned enough of his letters that he spent time each day teaching me how to write and read. Mostly it was forming letters on the dirt floor of our home with sticks or sometimes on small slabs of damp clay that would then get used to make dishes to sell in the market. But once in a while, he would bring home a piece of parchment. It was rare that he could afford such a luxury, most of our money going to food and what little cloth we could afford for my mother to make clothing from.

Because of this, the parchment was usually used for him to show me how to spell important words, like the names of people and places that were important. He would then keep that parchment and teach me about those whose names were listed. This is how I learned the names of Emperors, both past and present, the cities of Cyrodiil, important cities in other lands across Tamriel, even which Guilds were safe and which to be wary of.

The Mages' Guild was considered mostly safe, along with the Fighters' Guild so long as you knew how to defend yourself, while the Thieves Guild was unsafe but not deadly to deal with since they had the policy to avoid killing their targets. The Dark Brotherhood and Morag Tong were both to be avoided at all costs since they were assassins that knew no pity, and if you were their target, you would be dead as soon as they found you.

According to father, it was as bad to be their target as it was to be one of them since they only recruited the most deadly of all murderers into their ranks. And the Brotherhood was the worst of the two since they killed for money, as well as in the worship of their dark god Sithis. A murder cult is what father called them, one to be feared by any with a brain, even if they had become quieter over the years.

Father always said that one should be most cautious of a predator when it was wounded, for that is when they were most dangerous. And as soon as they were healed enough to hunt again, they would strike fast and with utter lethality.

* * *

I was eight winters old when I began digging through trash piles, trying to find enough cloth to wrap my hands and feet in as the weather grew even colder than it usually was. I'd tried to be content with just huddling under blankets but they had gotten so threadbare over the years, they just weren't enough to bring warmth to my chilled toes and we couldn't afford proper boots this year.

I'd tried making my old boots work, but they were just too small for my growing feet and even though mother tried to mend and alter them as much as possible, there was only so much she could do with the few scraps of cloth she could find. It was beyond useless hoping for gloves to wear.

It took a few nights of cautious digging, praying to whatever deity was listening that I would not get caught rummaging through peoples' trash, but I finally had enough scraps of wool and old worn bits of leather to wrap around my feet and my hands when needed. It was the only way I could protect them from the coming icy chill that the end of the year always brought. I didn't even want to think about the snowstorms that always seemed to want to bury the town before the cold season ended.

Memories of seeing beggars with missing toes and fingers frightened me enough that I was desperate. I didn't want to be in pain when I wandered about town, as my mobility was one of the few freedoms I had in life. I had very little to look forward to, being the only person in town who did not have a voice. The only jobs I would likely be considered suitable for would be among the most menial ones that could be found in this town. And so far, the only skill that my mother found me not sorely lacking in was sewing.

I also did not want to lose my only way of communicating with those precious few people who could and would read what I wrote. This is why extra cloth for my hands was in many ways more important to me than cloth for my feet. I could live if I was unable to walk freely, but to lose my ability to write would be devastating. Death would be more of a kindness than taking away my fingers, writing being my most reliable way to "talk" to people since only my father had ever shown the desire to learn how to read lips over the years. It was the only way we could communicate without needing something to write on, as well as the most secretive as I also learned the skill bit by bit over the years.

The secrets we had, ones that only he and I knew of, always brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. Childish secrets perhaps, but still something that only he and I shared. It was enough to make things more bearable when coin grew scarce and it was more common to go to bed still feeling hungry, to help ignore the chill as I shivered under too thin blankets at night.

* * *

When I was ten, I stole food for the first time, the ache of my empty stomach too much to ignore any longer. Not that I blamed my parents, just as I could not blame my baby brother. It was not his fault that he was born, just as it was not my parents' fault. Mother had been taking the potions to keep herself from bearing a child into this harsh life, but for one reason or another, they had failed.

I'd heard her crying one night, my father telling her that things would be okay, he would find more work somehow and for her not to worry. It had hurt, watching him become more and more worn down with each passing week as he worked himself to exhaustion. Seeing how thin my mother's arms and face became even as her stomach had swelled from the child growing within had made my heart ache with worry, leaving me pushing more and more of my own food towards her each day as my eyes begged her to eat what I would not.

It was only after I'd nearly passed out one day, not too long after my brother was born that I realized if I didn't eat more, then it would not be long before I was too far gone to survive. And then who would be there to make sure mother was eating enough to keep my brother fed? Who would make sure that he learned his letters and how to read lips so we could share stories as we grew up?

So I stole an apple that had fallen to the ground, wondering when I would get caught and dragged shamefully home by guards who would tell my parents what a bad child I was. But as I held the apple to my chest and hurried into the nearby alleyway, I heard no shouts of "thief" behind me. As I lifted the bruised apple to my lips and took a bite, shivering in delight at the taste of its sweetness as the juices ran down my throat, there were no hands grabbing me. And when I tossed the core into the nearby pile of trash, I looked up to see nothing but an alleyway that had only me standing in the shadows, unnoticed.

When I slipped out of the alleyway, nobody even looked at me, their eyes passing over me the same way they never really looked at the stray dogs or the random beggar. To them, I was as unworthy of notice as the weeds that grew up through the cracks in the pathway they walked upon.

It was at that moment that I decided, let them ignore me. I would cultivate that visual avoidance of theirs, train myself to be even less noticeable than the weeds. I would become as invisible to them as the very air they breathed. Until, like the air, I would be able to go anywhere without them ever seeing me.

And I would never want for food again. Nor would my brother ever need to feel the pangs of hunger I had. I would make sure he grew tall and strong, not small and weakened from too many years of never getting enough to eat. He would not grow up going without, not like I had.

Even if it meant I had to become one of the rotten, dirty thieves my father had warned me of.


	2. Chapter 2

When I was thirteen, I began stealing more than just bits of food, clothing, and blankets. I started slipping into homes of those who had so much more than us, who never knew the pains of hunger or the chill of not having enough blankets to ward away the chill once the fire went out. Not to steal their money or jewelry like some might think, but instead to take one of the toys their children had but never played with due to the overabundance of such things.

Often, the child was nearing an age where those toys would be put away or thrown out soon anyhow. Why shouldn't my little brother, the one who brought smiles to all in my family, have a chance to play with something that wasn't made from bits of clay and scraps of cloth so worn they weren't useable as anything else? I just wanted to see his smile when he had something soft to hug while laying on the pile of ragged furs that made up his bedding.

Mostly they were furs that I had 'found' over the years and, knowing how much Bastian needed the warmth, my parents refused to question how I got them, only sending a disappointed gaze my way before sighing and adding the latest 'find' to the slowly growing pile. Every time he woke up better rested or warmer than before, I would smile and ignore the small pain in my heart at the slowly growing distance between me and my father.

I'm so sorry father, but Bastian needs me. Even more than you need me to be that innocent girl you wish I could be, he needs me.

I was nearing my fifteenth year of life when my father died, bandits having assaulted the mine he worked at each day. If he'd been younger, healthier, then he might have survived the wounds until the soldiers had arrived, but he wasn't. And so he didn't.

My mother screamed and cried, holding Bastian in her arms as she watched the gravedigger slowly piling dirt upon the lid of the wooden coffin. There would be no stone marker for his grave, only a simple wooden cross bearing his name that would rot over the years and only ever be replaced so long as someone remembered who was buried there. After that, it might be a blank cross or maybe a rock to mark the spot until that too was forgotten about.

The death of a poor man was often as forgettable for most as his life was.

* * *

I finally turned 15 and suddenly I couldn't do anything right in my mother's eyes. It wasn't my fault that Bastian was ill! I'd done what I could to find ingredients for soups, but I had no control over him being able to keep what she made down or not.

And I couldn't keep stealing things in town! She needed to let me leave for longer than just a few hours, but she had become so paranoid after father died! Not that I didn't understand, but I needed to go further away, where my face wasn't known. And after father's death, it seemed like everyone had learned the face of the ever quiet Juniper.

No, I needed to go someplace new, someplace where I could fashion a new identity. And if it meant breaking Bastian's heart to do so, then I would suffer the pain of knowing I hurt him. After all, I would do anything to take care of him, to help him get better and live a longer, happier life.

Even if it meant that eventually, Juniper would have to vanish from his life. If I had to remake myself into someone different, so be it. I would be reborn as many times as I had to be for him. If I was lucky, maybe once in a while I would be able to find a little happiness for myself. And so I vanished from Bruma, leaving nothing behind to tell them where I went.

A few days later, a courier came into Bruma with nothing but a pouch of coins, a small cluster of juniper berries nestled atop the 80 or so septims within. Just enough for a regretful mom to buy a cure disease potion for her very ill son. But at least she knew her daughter lived, even if not the life she'd wanted for her.

And if sometimes she prayed at the Lucky Lady, begging for any deity that was listening to please protect her daughter and keep her safe, well... nobody needed to know but her and whichever deity was listening to her that evening.

Just as she would never know just who it was that listened to her prayers.

* * *

Just a few months after I turned 16 I met the Jester. I hadn't expected such a meeting, let alone the smile that danced upon my lips and the silent laughter that shook my body, but I must admit that it was a welcome change from the somberness that had filled me since hearing the troubling news from Bruma.

I worried about my mother, but even more, I worried for my brother's safety. I'd sent extra coin with the last courier in hopes mother would use it to leave Bruma before things got worse, but I knew that she could be stubborn.

Over the next several weeks, I kept running into the Jester. Each time, I felt a smile grow upon my lips at his capering and playful dances, the now-familiar silent laughter leaving me breathless from his jokes and riddles. In time, he noticed my quiet presence in the small crowds he gathered each time he wandered into the square.

It was not until the third month of my quiet presence amongst the otherwise noisy crowd that he introduced himself to me. I could do nothing but give him a smile in return, having no paper to write my name upon and no voice to speak it to him.

But I began bringing scraps of paper and charcoal with me after that and in time we became friends.

* * *

It was shortly before I turned 17 that we became more than friends, my silent feelings for the Jester finally noticed by those ever-watchful blue eyes of his. He didn't say anything, but the way he began to spend more time with me, to sit closer when the chance came or how his fingers would brush against my hand when he would pass me something... it was clear enough to me that he was not disinterested in me and that gave me the courage to write my feelings down for him on a piece of fine parchment.

I spent so much time perfecting the words I had to say before placing them on the ridiculously expensive piece of parchment that I ended up with a rather large pile of scrap paper, but it was worth it to me when I looked at the final product of my efforts. It was almost like looking at a piece of art, the way the words seemed to caress the surface with their flowing lines and gentle loops. Each letter had been painstakingly formed, not one stroke of the quill hurried. I'd put my very heart and soul into this letter to the Jester I'd come to love.

He'd smiled at me after reading it, pulling me gently into his arms as he whispered sweet words into my ears. Although he had set the letter down and seemingly forgotten to grab it when he left the room I called home, I did not mind. It meant I was able to keep it safely in a place I could look at it and remember the smiles we shared, the feel of his lips on my own, and the euphoria of meeting someone who loved me without care for my lack of voice.

It was his presence in my life that kept me from breaking apart when one of the couriers finally came back with the news that my mother was not to be found. No word could be found of her or my little brother Bastian, nor could any sign of them be found in the nearby towns. Unknowing of whether they lived or died, all I could do was mourn their loss. For without knowing where they were, if they even still lived, they were as lost to me as surely as if they were dead and I would not know either way.

Damn the war and its aftermath. Damn the Thalmor and damn the Emperor with them.


	3. Chapter 3

If only I had known the truth sooner. Maybe I could have spared myself some of the heartbreak that came later, just in time for my 19th winter to draw near. Instead, I felt like I couldn't breath when I laid eyes upon him standing in an alcove with his hips nestled between another woman's thighs. If I'd had a voice, I would have screamed from the pain I felt. Instead, all I could do was gasp for air as I felt like my chest was being crushed.

Later, after I had run back home and shed all the tears I could, I confronted him about what I had seen. I'd thought my tears were over, but when I heard him say that he wanted a woman he could hear call out his name, hear whisper words of love in his ear as he held her, hear moaning as they made love... I cried until my body shook with the sobs that felt like they would never end. Even after he grabbed the random items he'd left in my room over the months we were together and exited, shutting the door behind him after setting the spare key on the bedside table, I was unsure if I would ever stop crying.

Weeks passed slowly and each day I felt a little more empty. My eyes ached from the tears that had finally run out, my throat parched and stomach empty from being unable to hold anything down in my emotional despair. I felt like I had lost everything I'd ever cared about and I was unsure if I would ever be able to feel whole again.

I could feel my mind slowly slipping further and further into a darkness I had avoided until one day I woke up and looked blankly at the book that seemed to whisper to me softly. Sweet, gentle promises of revenge for my pain crept across the pages when I finally reached out trembling fingers and opened the book, reading the words that almost burned into my mind until I could hear them even after I had closed the book and sat it back on the shelf.

It didn't take as long as I'd expected to find what I needed, finding some at the local apothecary shop for an only slightly ridiculous price and the rest bit by bit as I scoured alleys and sewer tunnels under the city. The largest catch of bones had been the sewers nearest the jail, although I had avoided going into the areas that were patrolled regularly.

Soon, with the Black Sacrament performed, I had only to wait. And wait I did, until finally, nearing the end of Morningstar, someone came to hear my plea for revenge against he who had wronged me. Some might think me petty in my desire for revenge, but I couldn't help wanting him to pay for my pain. So what if my own sins would never be washed away after this, so what if his blood would be on my hands just as much, if not more than it would be on the hands of the assassin this person promised to assign the contract I offered.

When he left, the khajiit took with him the written contract I'd created, listing everything I wanted and that which I offered in return for each request. For the kill itself, I offered coin and lots of it, to the tune of 1000 septims. If they made him suffer greatly before he died, it would be doubled. If they brought me visible proof of the deed as soon as it was completed, whether or not he suffered, then I would give them the dagger I'd planned once to give the Jester on the anniversary of the day we first became more than simply friends.

I did not care if I saw the assassin's face and I promised to keep myself in the chair facing the fireplace, so if they wished to remain unseen, they need only stay behind me. I also agreed that if I betrayed their trust by trying to see them without their permission, they would have every right to kill me and take whatever they wished from my room. Of course, I also knew that should the assassin decide to kill me anyhow and simply tell their leader that I had peeked, there would be nobody around to deny their claim, but the risk was something I accepted. I needed this revenge against the one who wronged me more than I felt the need to keep living without it.

In addition to the more 'simple' requests I had listed, I'd added one more optional task the assassin could perform for a bonus of their choice. Something that they could accept or refuse without worry complaint, for I would not be upset if they declined, as I could understand my final task was outside of the realm of their job as an assassin. Especially since it had nothing to do with their target.

I'd made the request anyhow, knowing that it was most likely to be ignored, no matter how tempting I had tried to make the bonus offered for its completion. The knowledge that it was only the tiniest of chances they would agree did nothing to stop me from stockpiling the items needed for the list of enchantments I knew and had listed for them to pick from. I'd also purposely not named a limit of how many enchantments I would give, as I was willing to offer as many as I could attain filled soul gems for.

After all, if they accepted my final plea, how could I offer anything else? I was asking them to 'erase' the feeling of my ex-lovers touch upon my body, a task that one would usually go to a vastly different type of person for. Such as a priestess of Dibella or a lonely drunk at the local bar. But I wanted something none of them could offer. I wanted the touch of the one who killed the Jester. The one who killed because I asked them to. I didn't care who they were, only that his blood had been on their hands before they came to me.

If they refused, I would not blame them. But if they agreed, I would give them anything they asked for in return, even if they asked for more than I had offered in the contract. Even if they asked for my very life in return.

* * *

Days later, I sat facing the crackling flames that chased the chill from my room. The rain outside created a gentle rhythm on the roof above, almost enough to drown out the sound of the window behind me sliding open and shut again, the flames barely flickering from the momentary breeze that had slipped through with the assassin I knew was now in the room.

As usual, I made not a sound, although my lips curved up in a smile. I kept my eyes on the fire, only moving them to my lap when I felt something land upon it. Slowly, I moved my trembling hands from the armrests of my chair to carefully caress the bloodied silk of the Jester's cap that lay there. I silent laugh had my shoulders shaking as I closed my eyes.

I kept them closed when I felt cloth being slipped over them, wondering for a moment if it would be used to strangle me before it was tied in place as a blindfold. Part of me still wondered if it would serve the other purpose before the night was over, but I couldn't bring myself to care with the feeling of his blood still upon my fingertips.

"The deed has been done and he suffered as greatly as his body could handle, just as you asked," a voice whispered into my ears, lips brushing against the curve before pulling away.

I nodded, letting him know I heard his words. The smile on my lips grew wider, glad that the second request had been fulfilled as well as the third, which hed completed with his bringing of the object in my lap. Moving slowly so as not to startle him, I lifted the notes in my hand and gave him the first two. One told where to find the coin bonus and the other where to find the dagger.

I listened carefully as I heard coin clink together within the sack as he grabbed it, wondering at how silent he'd been moving as I'd not heard a single step upon the wooden floor. I gave another silent laugh when I heard him gasp when he pulled open the drawer containing the ebony dagger, enjoying the delight in the sound. For a moment I wondered if the Jester would have enjoyed the dagger so much before I forced the thought from my mind.

"A shame I didn't have this earlier. It would have enjoyed being used," he mumbled softly, leaving me nodding in agreement.

It would have been a sweet irony to have the blade be the one to end my, no not my, _the _Jester's life. He would never be mine again. He could never be anyones after tonight. He would only ever belong to Sithis now, sent to the Void along with the rest of those the Dark Brotherhood killed. Perhaps if he pleased Sithis, he would be allowed to sing, dance, and caper about as he had in life. Or perhaps not. It did not concern me what he was allowed in death, only that death had found him.

I felt warm hands rest against my shoulders from behind me, equally warm breath caressing my neck as he leaned around the back of my chair. A shiver ran up my spine as I pressed my teeth into my lower lip. Once again, I hadn't heard him move and it left me wondering if all assassins were so silent or if this one was exceptionally skilled. I almost jumped when I heard him speak softly into my ear yet again.

"I want that final bonus. I will do everything in my power to make you forget anyone and everyone's touch but mine."

In the hours that followed, he made good on his promise and earned everything he asked for in return. Every soul gem was depleted, every coin I had handed over, everything of value either taken or declined and set aside, and yet I couldn't bring myself to mind. I would have paid ten times the price he asked for in the end and I would not have felt cheated for it.

No, if anything, I would wish I had more to offer in hopes he would return again. But I knew he would not and even if I ran into him on the streets, I would never know it was him. Even to the very end, he never allowed me to hear him speak anything other than a whispered word nor let me see even a glimpse of his face.

But I would never forget the soft scent of sweets that seemed to caress the air around him.


	4. Chapter 4

The days passed far too quickly for me in the aftermath of the murder I had contracted. Although nobody seemed to think I had anything to do with the Jester's death, I couldn't help but wait for someone to point at me with accusations on their lips.

No, even though I still felt that Ellery had deserved what came to him, a part of me couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret each time I thought of how sad his bloody cap had looked as I'd tossed it into the fireplace when I'd woken up the next morning. I'd watched as the flames had slowly crept across the silky smooth surface, the once bright colors darkening before the fabric crumbled into ashes.

As days turned to weeks, I began to wonder if perhaps I'd acted too quickly, should have given him a chance to change his mind. Each time this happened, I reminded myself harshly of how many days and weeks had passed before I'd written out the contract that sealed his fate. Weeks where he could have returned and said something, anything, to soften the pain he'd caused me. Even if he would never return to my arms, he could have at least apologized for not breaking things off with me before turning to another's arms.

No, I couldn't question my choices now. It was far too late to change what I'd done. His blood was on my hands, as surely as it had dyed the assassin's hands red. I couldn't change that and I would not allow myself to regret the path I walked.

* * *

Flowers bloomed as Rain's Hand passed, the air soon growing overwhelmingly hot as the months slipped by into Sun's Height in what seemed little more than a blink of my eyes. How could time pass so quickly and yet seem to drag slowly at other times?

I'd managed to get back on my feet, although I felt like I was balancing on a wire at times. How many times had I found myself crouching in a dark room, while several minutes had passed as the owner slept unaware of my presence in his home just on the other side of the wall? Far too often I'd come close to discovery as a guard was patrolling the streets nearby when I shook myself awake from a memory of laughter repeating inside my mind, crouched in front of a darkened doorway with a lockpick in hand.

Oh, how I felt haunted at times by the memories of his smiles, but at least it was not his touch that slipped so gently through my mind in those times where my awareness faded from the world to sink into remembered feelings of hands caressing my sides. Even now, if I just thought about it for a moment, I could feel his lips brushing against my shoulder, his breath ghosting across my skin and chasing the chill away.

The conflicting memories of my Jester's once loving laughter but his murderer's touch upon my skin left me feeling like I was slowly unraveling both inside and out, all at once. If only I could sew myself together again. _Could I sew myself back together?_

No, no, such thoughts were madness...

* * *

I sat on the floor of the room, giving gentle tugs upon the thread with each stitch, the needle pulling ever so slowly through the surface. The reflection of the fire on the silver surface was almost enough to distract me from what I was doing, but memories of a burning cap had me looking away from the hearth once more to focus on my task. It was almost complete, the final stitches waiting for the pass of the needle.

When the needle stuck my finger, I gave a silent yelp, dropping the slender piece of metal as I stuck my fingertip into my mouth. As I pressed my tongue against the pained flesh held between my lips, I could taste blood and looked down at my 'project' and saw a drop of red upon the surface.

_Damned it all! Not again! No, no, no! I'd ruined it!_

Grabbing the small blade from the floor beside me, I began carefully cutting the stitches that bound the two pieces together, the strip of yellow cloth soon falling to the floor before being tossed into the fire in a fit of anger. Glaring at my no longer bleeding fingertip, I soon looked down to the basket on my other side and began searching for another strip of yellow fabric, soon picking a new one with a smile on my lips.

_Yes, this one will do! This time, I'll be extra careful, I promise!_

I ignored the flicker of movement at the edges of my vision. I knew if I looked, he would just vanish again and I didn't feel like being alone again. No, no, not alone again. After all, he was nearly the only one who ever visited me anymore. Not that I needed anyone else besides the two of them. Although I had to admit, I was still unsure if it was Jester or Assassin who kept me company at any given time. Not unless I heard Ellery's laughter or felt the unnamed Assassin's breath upon my skin from behind me.

_Ahh, there. There it is! It's Ellery tonight! Hello, my love! Will you tell me a story tonight or are you still mad at me? I promise I'll have your new hat finished soon, then you can wear it and look yourself again. Will you let me see you once you look yourself?_

_I'm so very lonely. Please let me see you..._

* * *

I could feel the Assassin's eyes upon me, even if I couldn't see him. It almost had my hands shaking as I threaded the needle back and forth between the two sides, but if I let my hands shake then I would have to start over again. No, no, couldn't make a mistake. This had to be done right the first time. I'd promised them both that I wouldn't mess up this time.

It was bad enough that I'd done so poorly on Ellery's new cap that he refused to wear it, refused to touch it even. Not that I thought it looked that bad, the stitches even and the fabrics oh so carefully chosen from among the yellow and black strips of fabric. Of course, if Ellery thought it wasn't good enough, that was what mattered. I would just have to try again once I'd gotten better.

And I had! I had gotten better! I would prove it to them both, even if Ellery was the one who seemed to doubt me. Although, I was unsure why Ellery insisted this was the only way he would accept the proof, but who was I to question him. At least the Assassin, who still refused to give me his name, was keeping me company, his eyes watching as the needle worked slowly side to side as it created a delicate pattern across my leg.

_See, my sweet Assassin? See how good I have gotten? You should tell Ellery I'm almost done so he can see, too! Surely this will be enough to convince him to let me try again! I know I can get it right this time!_


	5. Chapter 5

My arms itched. Itched, itched, itched! But I couldn't scratch, no! That would tear the stitches out. Couldn't do that again. It had hurt last time, so much worse than the itching could ever bother me. Worse even than the pain of sewing the thread across my skin. I was getting better at it, my hand steadier with each new pattern I created at Ellery's command. And each time I showed improvement, he let me create a new cap! So far, none had met his approval, but I knew that it was only a matter of time!

Time! So much time was passing! Or was it no time passing at all? I'd lost track of the days months ago. Months ago? Maybe months, maybe weeks, maybe years! But sometime after I had left the Imperial City when the Guild refused to offer me more work. Oh, but that didn't mean I couldn't work. I just wouldn't be able to use them to find jobs, but I could still use their fences to sell what I stole, so long as I did not break their rules in the meantime.

_Oh, but I am losing track of my thoughts again, aren't I dear Ellery! Ahh, I would likely lose track of myself if you were not here to remind me of who I am. Not Juniper! I haven't been her in years!_

I don't even feel like a Juniper anymore. No, no, not Juniper. But I don't feel like a Valencia anymore either. So who am I now? Who must I become to be someone again? Am I to be a Tanya? Tanya could be me, yes? No, no, not Tanya, I would be miserable as a Tanya. Perhaps Nova? No, I'm not Nova.

_Tell me, Ellery, who must I be now? Patience? Patience. Yes, that could work, thank you Ellery. For I have much to do before you are willing to forgive me, don't I... I will need much patience and the name will help remind me of that._

Pulling my hands away from my arms yet again before they could start scratching, I continued down the road that led southward. Yes, Elsweyr would be an interesting place to go, I am sure. Maybe I would join a caravan and travel the land with the Khajiit, learning how to buy and sell goods from them! That sounded like fun!

* * *

Horrible! It was horrible here! Why had I wanted to go to such a land as this?! What madness had entered my mind to make me come here? And why hadn't my Jester or Assassin stopped me? Had I angered them so, that they would find pleasure in being surrounded by those who felt no shame in taking advantage of my muteness to try and steal from me? Did they think my muteness meant I was also blind to their treachery?

Ha! They shouldn't have tried to target someone such as me! I might not catch all of their attempts, but I caught enough to know it was best for me to leave their company before I lost even more of the little treasures I had gathered over the past months. After all, even a good thief will be caught by another thief of equal or greater skill. Although, this did show me that I still had much left to learn.

I wonder if my Assassin would let me practice my skills with him, both sneaking and spying.

* * *

Wasteful! These spoiled, rich nobles were so wasteful! How could they not feel an ounce of guilt for wasting so much food and coin? Did they not see the people starving in the streets? Or the orphaned children wandering about in threadbare clothing, the hope in their eyes slowly dying with each day that passed without something to bring their hope back to life?

Oh, but I would not, could not, let it go on without doing something to bring a bit of balance back into the world around me. So I did what I did best and stole from those who were wasteful, giving the spoils to those who needed it most. Of course, I kept some for myself, as I was not exactly thriving myself these days.

So much of my money went into thread and cloth as I tried to find something worthy of making my Jester a cap he would not refuse for once. Oh, how it pained me when he refused the fine cotton I had found in Elsweyr before I'd realized some of my best threads had gone missing, stolen by one of the thieves I was surrounded by each day. And I'd almost cried when he turned his back upon the soft crushed velvet I'd found in our wanderings through Valenwood, sneaking in and out of towns as we hurried towards Hammerfall.

Even so, nothing had pained me as much as when he'd refused the smooth black and gold cap I had made from the nauseatingly expensive silk I had found at a merchant's stand while passing through Anvil, but at least the coin hadn't been mine for long. And I was sure the noblewoman would find such fine silk worthy of her coin, if she'd just seen how it seemed to shimmer under the warm midday sun. Not that she ever had, but it didn't make it any less true. I'd actually cried as the cap slowly turned to ash a few weeks later as I sat on the floor of the inn in Sentinel.

But at least the food hadn't been as bland as some inns I'd stayed at, although I had to be careful of guards here. They seemed a bit more attentive than what I was used to in Cyrodiil.

* * *

I'd found someone to teach me, a strange little Breton who was getting older and wanted someone to keep him company as he aged. He was skilled both thievery and speechcraft, but due to my lack of voice, he agreed that the second skill would only do me so much good. After all, it was the way you said something as much as what you said, and so the written word would be of limited use to me.

That didn't mean he didn't teach me how to weave the words I wrote so as to make as good an impression as I could. In turn, I worked on making my handwriting as pleasant to read as possible, since it would assist in making a good impression when the occasion arose.

The main focus, of course, was my skill in picking locks with both speed and ease, something that had gotten me nearly caught several times due to my lack of... well, focus. For this reason, he often would have me picking locks in his home while randomly asking questions or making sudden noises. Over the weeks and months that followed, it became easier to ignore most of the distractions, but the laughter of my Jester or the warm touches upon my skin from my Assassin would still pull my attention away from what I was doing.

The concerned look upon his face when I finally told him of the two had me confused. How could he not have noticed them slipping in and out of his home? Surely he'd heard Ellery's laughter this morning? My Assassin I could somewhat understand, since he was a master of sneaking, even if he refused to teach me properly and always seemed focused more on trying to make me see what tried to hide rather than how to remain hidden.

In the end, he simply chose to ignore the two and find new ways to focus. Ultimately, the best I was able to do was to quietly make agreements with the two, promising favors to them in exchange for not distracting me when I needed to focus on my work. That did nothing for when I was simply training, but at least they agreed to behave when I most needed them to.

None of us wanted to spend another night in jail. Not after last time. The stitches had barely been able to hide the scar left behind. Sometimes, I could still feel the shiv that had traced its way down my hip. Other times, I could feel the warm blood that had covered my hands after my Assassin had guided them mere moments later, stabbing, stabbing, over and over again into the man's throat.

_I should wash my hands again. I can still feel the blood on them._


	6. Chapter 6

How long had it been since I'd taken up residence with the old man? How long since I'd wandered further than the nearest town to steal what I thought would least be missed. A bite to eat from a cart of fruit, a clean shirt buried in the back of a wardrobe to replace one that had too many patches to keep wearing, perhaps a few coins of someone's pouch appeared full enough to spare them.

I missed the thrill of a day spent stealing something bigger, something with actual value to it. I missed the feeling of scouting out a job for days, checking for escape routes and sniffing out traps while avoiding the paths of guards wandering the area nearby. I didn't feel like being Patience any longer, as I'd run out of such a thing over the passing years.

Sure, it had been nice to have a place to belong, someone to teach me the skills I'd needed to learn and refresh the ones that had faded during the time I'd spent focusing so strongly on increasing my skill with needle and thread. It had become a careful balancing act to keep each skill sharp without another falling to the side, but after the passing of so much time, I had finally mastered the art of juggling my time between thieving and sewing. Even if it had Agrane giving me strange looks at times when he caught me throwing recently finished caps into the fire after Ellery refused yet another attempt.

But the worst time had been when he caught me stitching a new pattern into my skin. Oh, how he had looked at me in horror as his eyes trailed over each piece of thread that wove across my skin. When he'd gotten to the area I was working on, he'd looked ready to rip the needle from my grasp if he could do so without ripping the thread from my flesh with it. Instead, I'd slowly tied the thread off and put the needle away as I tried to avoid looking at the tears rolling down his cheeks. I'd never, ever felt bad for what I did to my skin before and I never wanted to feel such again.

I got very good at hiding away when I felt the need to change or add to the patterns I'd made.

* * *

I felt trapped here, no matter how welcome he tried to make his home. When I had finally asked for the date, realizing that time had slipped my by for too long, too long as seasons passed with hardly any notice from me beyond feeling too cold one day and realizing what seemed hardly a few weeks later that it was getting too warm for me to wear my heavy woolen cloak any longer... Oh had I been shocked to realize how many years I had missed while practicing my skills but only performing acts of petty theft.

_I was wasting away without even realizing it! Ellery, why hadn't you told me life was passing us by?!_

Oh, but oh how could I forget that he was still mad at me. I'd failed yet again to make him happy. Glancing at the ashes sitting within the now cold hearth, I sighed and moved to begin packing away what things I had that would be useful in my travels. I could not stay here any longer. The world outside beckoned to me and I would not allow myself to miss out on what it had to offer one such as I. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Ellery and my Assassin, who I had decided recently to finally give the name of Amicus to, hiding within the shadows of the old man's room.

"So, you are finally leaving, are you? I wondered how long you could stand staying cooped up with an old man like me, no matter how much I had to teach you," his tired voice came from the small home's entryway behind me. "You are far too alive to stay in one place for so long without it pulling at you to escape anything that would bind you. No, you have yet to meet the one you will allow to become tied to you. If such a one still lives in a world such as this."

I ignored his words as best I could, knowing that he still couldn't see the ones who I had tied myself to. Ellery and Amicus were all I needed in this world for companionship. Where I went, they followed and vice versa, as we led each other across the face of Tamriel. It was all I needed and all I wanted. Anyone else would just be a distraction. Right?

I could feel the warm breath of Amicus, my sweet, faithful Assassin, brush against my ear as he whispered to me, "This one can never be family to us. Leave, before we become lost alongside him. Before it is too late to find things to collect and new books to read. Leave before we are too old to seek out treasures to call our own."

Nodding, I rushed faster to gather my things, stuffing a spare shirt into my pack before grabbing my cloak and clasping it around my shoulders before turning around. Seeing Ellery slipping out the door, I took a step forward, watching carefully as the old man stepped further into his home. His home, not mine. Not any longer.

"Run! Before he traps you here! Run, you foolish girl or you'll never leave!" And run I did, Ellery's words chasing me down the pathway as I tried to ignore the memory of Agrane's tears once more trailing down his wrinkled cheeks.

* * *

Ellery, Amicus, I can't be Patience anymore. I have none left to spare and I don't feel like going back to being either of my previous selves. Neither of them fit me now. I don't think they will ever fit me again. Who can I be that I will be able to accomplish everything I need to do? What kind of person must I become?

"Have faith in yourself. You are becoming stronger, even if he holds you back at times. We will still take care of you, just as you do us. We will find our treasures. Just have faith," my Assassin's soft voice whispered from behind me.

_Have faith in myself? Faith... Yes, that would work. Faith. I could become Faith and I am sure that as Faith, I would be able to accomplish all the tasks set before me. Faith sounded like a lovely person to turn into._

With a silent laugh and a smile, I picked up my pace as I matched down the trail leading towards the snow-laden mountains in the distance. I am positive that Skyrim would hold many treasures for a thief like myself to collect during my travels. I had a long, winding road ahead of me and I was eager to see where it would take me.

I refused to admit that a part of me missed the company of Agrane. My companions had been right that he'd almost trapped me there with him. Thankfully, they had warned me before it was too late.


	7. Chapter 7

I'd had to skirt the mountains for weeks before I'd found a path that wasn't blocked by either snow or guards, barely managing to slip through the pass and hide before a patrol came through behind me. It was only due to Amicus' quick whisper that I'd remained unseen, curled up under a low ledge that was barely big enough to hide me from sight. I likely would have remained there for hours trying to avoid capture if not for Ellery shouting at me to get out before another patrol came along and spotted me, because luck could only get me so far before either someone noticed the disturbed snow I'd left on my way under the ledge... or I froze to death.

Already, I could barely feel my fingers, my thin gloves not enough to ward off the chill. No, I had to move. I had to find someplace safe, someplace I could start a fire and bring life back into my too cold hands before it was too late!

_I can't lose my fingers, not with so much I needed to do still! Ellery! Help me!_

Memories of men with missing fingers lost to frostbite had me panicking. No, no, no, I needed my fingers! How could I stitch Ellery's caps without my fingers? How could I write without fingers?! No! Please, someone, anyone, _I'm not done living yet..._

_"Over there, a path down the mountain. I can smell smoke, someone has a fire burning and likely food to share if you hurry,"_ Amicus' voice whispered, his breath warm against my cold skin as he gave a gentle push against my lower back.

Stumbling forward, my hands shoved up under my arms, I sobbed in relief. I just had to hurry and everything could be okay still. Picking up speed, I didn't even think of the possibility of guards or bandits being ahead of me. I didn't care, as long as I could warm myself by their fire.

* * *

"A youngster like you should be more careful, miss. Much longer and you woulda been in some real trouble," the hunter's raspy voice barely carried to me over the wind.

The small shelter he'd built to protect against the snowstorm that was even now sweeping through the area was barely big enough for us both, blankets and furs layered over us to keep the chill at bay. I'd been lucky to find him once the snow had grown too thick to properly see anything ahead of me.

It had only been Ellery's laughter and Amicus' gentle pushing that lead me to the man in the end, my Jester cackling madly when I'd tripped on the rope and nearly ended up crushed under a pile of rocks if not for Amicus' quick shove to the side. Sometimes it hurt a bit how much Ellery seemed to enjoy when I got hurt, rubbing my hip where I could already feel the bruise forming where I'd landed hard on the ground while escaping the rockslide. It had made it painful to continue down the trail as it wound and wove between the gaps where the mountain seemed to be reaching fingers of rock and ice upwards as if reaching for the sky.

Looking up across the small fire between us, I frowned at the man for a moment before brightening at the sight of the meaty broth he held out to me. Food, at last! Smiling in thanks, I grabbed the bowl and plucked a piece of meat from the steaming heat of the meal he shared.

_"I told you there was food to share,"_ my Assassin whispered into my ear as I nodded agreement.

Food! Oh, I'd been so hungry for far too long. I could barely remember the rabbit I had caught and cooked over a fire the day before I'd slipped through the pass, taking advantage of the distraction a troll had provided. If the troll had just happened to be lured into the area on purpose, well... I was the last person to tell them that. Not that I had a voice to tell them anyhow!

Shoulders shaking with silent laughter at my thoughts, I ignored the strange look I got from the hunter and sipped at the hearty broth within the bowl, barely keeping it from spilling down my chin. Wiping my lips with the back of my hand, I coughed slightly before catching my breath and calming my laughter so as not to end up choking on the meal.

_Ellery, will you look at fabric with me when we get to the next town? I would like to get started on a new cap for you. I'm certain this one will make you happy! I'm thinking of using that new stitch I learned!_

A few minutes later, the bowl was empty and my eyes growing heavy from the warmth of both furs and a full stomach.

* * *

"Wake up, miss. The storm is done and the sun has risen again. It's time to leave," the raspy voice came as I felt myself be gently shaken awake.

Yawning with a slow stretch, I began crawling out of the pile of warm furs and blankets I'd been under. I couldn't help the shiver as I was reunited with the cold air of the pass. Oh, how I hadn't missed the cold! Why did it have to be so very cold in the mountains? You would think that being closer to the sun, it would be warmer here, but no! It was colder than anywhere I'd been thus far! Why had we all insisted that Skyrim would be a good place to go?

_Ellery, remind me what Skyrim has that we had to come here?_

_"People you hadn't stolen from yet? Ruins to explore? Towns you hadn't seen before? Oh yes, and the possibility of something that will make Amicus finally stop whining about needing to find treasures,"_ Ellery grumbled, giving a small shiver from the edges of my vision.

"Here, miss. This'll keep you warmer than the cloak you have now. Can't have you freezing to death after putting in the effort to keep you alive last night," the man said as he held out a dark brown fur cloak, looking well worn but heavy and warm.

I stood in shock for a moment before gratefully taking the thing from his hands, wrapping it around my shoulders with a smile softer than any I had felt on my lips in years. Not since... _No, no, I shouldn't think of that. That life is over, gone and beyond my grasp._ Live in the now, look to the future, the things I can reach for and attain. Yes, I had too much to do to think about what is gone.

_Amicus, Ellery, it is time to go seek our future. Let us see what this land has to offer us!_


	8. Chapter 8

I did not like this Riverwood. It was small and too easy for them to connect any thefts with someone passing through. No, there would be no staying here. I needed to find someplace larger, where I could be just one face among many travelers and easy to forget, easy to lose within the crowd. I would sell some of the small items I had found on my way here and resupply, maybe stay the night at the inn, but then I would be off. Even Ellery agreed with us, there was no treasure to be had here.

Sadly, it was not much later that I realized trying to sell any of my stuff was a task in and of itself. Sighing, I tapped my foot as I waited for the two people to finish their argument. Did these people always air their family problems in front of people? That must make for some awkward situations with some of their customers.

After a few more minutes and no sign of them letting up, I shrugged and left the store. I might have better luck trying elsewhere. Maybe the innkeeper would be willing to buy enough to at least get a meal before I moved onward. It wasn't like I couldn't just sleep in my bedroll again, especially since it was much warmer here than the pass was. I would just need to make sure to set a few traps for anyone that might try to catch me unawares.

_Let's go, Ellery. I don't think we are going to find any cloth for a cap here anyhow. And nothing else would be worth waiting around for._

* * *

_I hate people! I hate them! Everyone but you two! You're the only ones who don't either ignore me or treat me like I'm stupid._

Sighing in frustration, I counted the miserable amount of coins in my pouch. Far fewer than there should be for the items I'd had to sell, but at least I'd been able to buy some food for the road and still have a few remaining for when I hit the next town. And maybe I would get lucky and meet a traveler on the road that I could relieve of some excess weight without them catching on.

Continuing down the road, I tucked my coin pouch away where other fingers couldn't slip inside so easily. Every so often, I would dance to one side of the road when Amicus would nudge me that direction, often finding ingredients I could hopefully sell at the next town for some extra coin. Other times, there would be something like a late fruit hanging from a branch or a dropped item someone hadn't noticed. Once in a while, it was a coin that I could slip into my pouch, but those times were rare. Usually, it would be something like a button or a hairpin, but even those could have their use.

I knew there was danger ahead when I heard Ellery give a wild cackle, darting to the side of the road and ducking down between the bushes. Moments later, Amicus was pulling me back further into the bushes as I stared in horror at the sky, the sound of flapping wings barely heard over the roar of the fire that seemed to want to burn everything around. Stumbling, I froze in place as the flying beast of a lizard - _a dragon, father, it was a dragon just like in your stories and oh, divines, I don't want to die, I'm not done yet and I can't die until Ellery's forgiven me!_ \- as it looked right at me when the branch under my foot snapped so loudly.

I'd never imagined that dragons would be so huge, had never seen anything like this one before. It looked similar to the drawing father had shown me once, yet at the same time, it was completely different from the tales he told of the Blades his great-great-uncle had been a member of. Were they supposed to be so huge? So angry sounding when their flames burned the world?

If not for Amicus whispering behind me and guiding my movements, telling me when to duck and which way to run between attacks, I would likely not live past a moment. With his guidance, I was able to weave between its claws when it landed upon the ground before me when I'd tried to escape, knew when to dive aside from the next bought of flames that sought to burn me up before I could escape.

Nearby, my Jester, my Ellery, cackled loudly at the black beast from the edges of my vision before shouting at me loudly._"Run! Run, foolish girl! You're not allowed to die before you make me a proper cap! One that can finally replace the one you stole from me! Now RUN!"_

And run I did, diving between the bushes and trees as I tried to escape the winged terror that lept back into the sky and chased after me. I could hear Ellery continuing to shout at me to run, faster and faster, while Amicus would push gently in seemingly random directions as he led me further and further from the road.

Finally, after what felt like hours of running and ducking and diving, the sound of the dragon's wings beating finally began to fade into the distance. Peering around the trees, warm hands gripping my shoulders gently as they kept me from leaning too far and showing myself to the monstrous creature, I could just see it vanishing over distant mountain peaks.

Soon, the hands pulled away and I could hear my two companions whispering to each other behind me. _"Skyrim is far more dangerous than we expected it to be. We'll need to keep a close watch on her from now on. There are things here far worse than mere bandits and wild animals to protect against. And we can only help so much."_

I could only nod in agreement, knowing that I could not rely on them to save me from every enemy that came. After all, I was supposed to be getting stronger, not weaker. But yes, I would prefer to avoid any future dragon encounters. _Seriously, dragons... The world must have gone mad!_

* * *

I took days getting to the place I finally saw in the distance. I wasn't sure what to think about Skyrim yet, other than really not caring for the dragon I'd seen, but I had to admit that I liked the way the buildings looked nestled on the various levels of the mountain it was built upon. Of course, most of the people were still annoying. Too many were either loud and aggressive with each other or so overly cheerful that I could feel my head begin to throb.

Ellery was the only one I could stand to hear carry on like that. He was the only one whose laughter was not painful to hear. How could anyone else laugh when I'd killed the source of laughter? When I had killed...

_No, no, no! He wasn't really dead, not anymore! He wasn't! He was right here with me! Right here, laughing at me! I can hear him, filling the air with his glee!_


	9. Chapter 9

It felt like I had been crouched down for hours, hands tight over my ears as I'd tried to block out the sounds around me, but I couldn't even seem to block out Ellery's laughter. Not that I really wanted to, of course! No, no, never would I want to stop hearing him! He and Amicus meant everything to me! But sometimes, just once in a while, it hurt to hear my Jester.

_It hurts to remember what I did to you, my terrible and wondrous Ellery. The memory of it drives me a bit mad at times, I think..._

Oh, but it was such a blessing to have him with me again! What blessed deity had sent him back, I had no clue, but surely one must have and if ever I learned their name, I would gladly praise them in my own silent way!

I nearly jumped when I felt a hand grasp my shoulder and give a gentle shake. That is not Amicus' hand, for it is far too large and heavy to be his, and it can't be Ellery because he is still laughing from across the way! Gasping in a breath and darting away from the hand, I spun in place as soon as I was out of the person's reach. A large dark-haired Nord met my gaze, his eyes widened slightly before narrowing as he began to straighten up from his crouch.

"And here I'd thought you were hurt or ill. I guess I worried for nothing. You would do well to take yourself elsewhere if you are going to play games with people. Whiterun is home to the Companions and we do not care for trickery. I know a sneak thief when I see one," the man growled at me, hand shifting towards his weapon as he towered over me.

Behind him, I could see a somewhat larger Nord give a small frown, although I couldn't tell if it was at me or the man scowling at me. Shrugging, I slowly picked myself up off the ground, having nearly tripped over my own feet in my hurry to get away earlier.

_I didn't want to stay here anyhow. This place is horrible. Far too many rude people and too much noise!_

I brushed off my leggings as I moved forward, hoping to walk past the man, but felt a hand grab my arm before I could make it past him.

"What are you saying? Thinking you can get away with bad mouthing someone if you are quiet enough they can't hear you? If you want to speak poorly of me, say it loud enough to be heard or are you too much a coward?" The same man growled again at me.

_Oh, believe me, if I could make you hear me, I would. Ellery, Amicus, let's go. I'm done with this place! Now let go of me, you bastard!_

Yanking on my arm, I looked around and barely saw Ellery dancing his way down the path leading to the gates. Feeling the man's hand tighten on my arm, I gave another tug and scowled at him, mouthing curses at him as I began to struggle.

"I don't think she can speak, brother," came a softer but still deep voice, causing me to turn towards the larger of the two men.

_Oh, did you finally figure that out? Thanks! Now, can you get your brother here to __**let me go!**_

I would have screamed the words at them if I could and I think they both caught on to that as the man finally let go, shock on his face as he watched me pant for breath before pushing past him and running for the path Ellery had gone down. I could barely hear Amicus' quiet laughter as I could hear a shout from behind me, but I didn't care enough to try and make out what was said.

At this point, I just wanted to leave this place for good. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find someplace in this land that wasn't so unwelcoming to the three of us. Where all the towns and cities of Skyrim like this? Was it a Nord thing to be so loud and aggressive?

Had we made a bad choice to come here?

* * *

Wandering past farm after farm, I trudged further north as the sky grew darker with each passing moment. I winced when I felt the first drop of rain hit my cheek, pulling my cloak tighter around my body. All too soon, I was drenched from the downpour, barely able to make out my Jester as he laughed at my misery from further down the muddy road.

_Well, I'm glad one of us is having a good time today. Because I'm cold and wet and I think my fingers are going numb again! And you know Amicus doesn't like the rain either!_

I scowled at Ellery as he danced through the rain, wondering how the man wasn't slipping in the muck that kept trying to steal my shoes with each step I took. No matter how many times I saw it, I could never understand how he was always unaffected by the rain, yet Amicus always whispered about how much he disliked the rain.

Although, I'd never noticed his touch become any colder than it ever was. In fact, if not for his size, I would think him a Nord with how warm he always was, even in the snow... Ahh, but I didn't have time to think about stuff like this! I needed to get out of the rain!

_That's it! At the next farm, we are gonna ask for shelter! Even if we have to sleep with a cow!_

Hearing Ellery's laughter grow ever louder, I marched past him as he curled over himself from his merriment. I swear, if I didn't still feel affection for the man, I would strangle him at times like this! He got way too much enjoyment from my suffering!

_But if my suffering brought him a smile... who was I to take away his laughter again?_

Shaking my head, I continued along the path, praying the next farm would come soon as the sky grew darker yet. Night was nearing and I didn't want to keep walking once the little light that was available vanished and left me in total darkness.

I really regretted not learning that candlelight spell when I had the chance, but I'd wanted to save my coin in case I found someone selling cloth. Even now I could feel that desperate need to begin stitching a new cap for my Jester.

"Damnedest wagon wheel!" A high pitched voice, still notably male, came faintly through the pouring rain, causing me to jump in shock.

Peering through the downpour, I could barely make out a large shape in the distance, slowing down as I tried to figure out what I was seeing. It was the sudden movement to the side of the thing that made me realize it must be the wagon the man had screamed about that I'd been looking at. And the man himself...

_Ellery, is that man...?_

Ignoring the sudden laughter that filled the air, I blinked and started walking forward again, realizing I had paused in my movement when I'd spotted the black and red attire the man wore. Or rather, the man's motley. I hadn't thought I would see such a thing after entering Skyrim, since jesters were more common to Cyrodiil, where people had a better understanding of how to live based on what I'd seen so far of this land.

The closer I got to the man and his wagon, the more I could hear him grumbling, the rain finally easing up helping his voice carry further as well. Still, I couldn't quite make out most of what he was saying now, since he'd apparently lowered his voice as he noticed me coming down the road towards him.

_"Be careful. He doesn't hold himself like the average person should. He's too... focused to truly be just a mere jester,"_ came Amicus' soft whisper, a cautionary hand resting on my shoulder before he pulled away.


	10. Chapter 10

"Does the stranger plan to keep staring at poor, drenched Cicero?" The man turned away as he spoke, tightening a rope on his wagon as a sudden wind pulled at the well-oiled cloth that covered whatever cargo was placed behind the driver's seat.

_Sorry, I don't mean to stare. I just wasn't expecting to see another jester in this land. In fact, I don't think I've seen a jester other than my Ellery since I left the Imperial City and that was years ago!_

Shrugging at the man as he kept glancing at me over his shoulder, I barely noticed his eyes narrow at me, his lips moving as he began mumbling to himself. Sadly, I was unable to make out what he was saying as he turned back to the wagon, dancing from one corner to the next as he worked to make sure the ropes were all well tightened.

I would have moved on in my search for shelter, but as soon as Amicus gently tipped my head down and over to spot the wheel that lay on the ground, I knew I couldn't just leave the man behind. He was stuck here, unable to take his wagon away to find any shelter of his own from the rain.

Walking slowly over towards the fallen wheel, I carefully knelt beside it, trying to avoid falling into the muddy dirt as I shielded my eyes from the rain. It was hard to make out any visual damage with how dark it was getting, so I reached forward to run my fingers carefully along the wooden frame, ignoring the feeling of eyes boring into my back. It seemed the wheel was still in one piece, so the problem must lie with the axle itself. That could be a problem.

As I went to stand up, I felt my foot slip and soon found myself looking up at the sky to the sound of cackling laughter from not just one Jester, but two. Both Ellery and this stranger were laughing at my misfortune and for once I couldn't help but join in, the sound of their laughter ringing through the air as my own body shook silently with glee.

A few minutes later, I was blinking at the sight of a hand in front of my face as the soaking wet jester, who was not _my _Jester, grinned down at me. Cautiously taking the hand, I was shocked somewhat at how easily he pulled me up before he let go and danced his way back towards his wagon.

"Oh, Cicero hasn't seen such a funny sight as that in far too long! But he must ask, why does the stranger hold her laughter in even when it is obviously wanting to escape?" He turned his head to peer at me as he asked his question, eyes focusing on my lips as he waited for me to answer.

_I have a feeling you already know, Jester who calls himself Cicero. So how about we not waste time with questions we have answers to and instead you help me figure out how to fix your wagon. I don't think any of us wish to stay in this rain longer than we must. Personally, Amicus and I despise the rain, even if Ellery doesn't seem to mind it._

"Amicus? Ellery? Who are they?" He questioned as he peered around the area, one hand lowering to his waist before coming to rest on the hilt of a dagger I hadn't noticed before.

I might have felt more concern for my companions if not for the shock at him having understood the words I'd been forming on my lips, a habit I had never gotten rid of in the years after my father's death. Finding another like my father, someone who could read the words shaped by my mouth, had me frozen in place long enough for the male to turn back to me with narrowed eyes.

"Well? Who are they? Are they here or did you separate from them? Cicero does not want to be surprised by more strangers coming along the path. Perhaps with plans to try and steal from him? Cicero will protect his precious Mother!" He shouted as he took a step towards me, lips curled with anger at my failure to answer his earlier question.

_They are my companions. They have been traveling with me, helping warn me of dangers so I can remain safe. I'm not sure where Ellery has gone off to, but Amicus is always right behind me. Can't you see him?_

I ignored his mention of a mother, not seeing anyone else about, as I reached a hand behind me and grabbed gently at Amicus' hand, feeling him give a small squeeze when he noticed how my hand was shaking slightly in his grasp. I didn't want this strange jester to try and hurt them, even if I knew that Amicus was skilled enough to defend himself and Ellery was able to escape from anyone. Well, anyone but Amicus. It didn't mean I wanted to take any chances.

_No, no, my boys must remain safe. Please don't hurt them. I don't want to be alone again..._

I calmed down when I saw him remove his hand from his dagger, a strange look upon his face before he turned towards his wagon, raising a hand to rest gently against the side.

"Cicero understands now, he thinks. He will not try to harm your friends. But Cicero does wonder if the quiet stranger would be able to help him since he does not know if Loreius can communicate with someone who does not speak aloud," the jester said, his voice soft before climbing in pitch again.

_Loreius? Who is Loreius? Why would I need to speak with this Loreius?_

When I noticed the man hadn't seen what I said, I repeated myself after making sure his eyes were on my lips.

"Ah! Of course, of course! The strange stranger does not know of Loreius yet! Why, he is the farmer who lives up there!" He spoke as he pointed up the hill behind his wagon. "He could help poor Cicero! He has the tools! But he refuses! Go to him and try to convince him to help! Cicero is sure the strange, silent stranger could find a way to get Loreius to help! Somehow!"

Oh, there's a farm that close? And the farmer, this Loreius, was refusing to help the jester? Sure the man was strange - _and who did he think he was to call me the strange one? _\- but was this land even worse than I thought it was already, that they would refuse to help someone who so obviously needed it?

No, no, the loud man from Whiterun had tried to help, even if he'd changed his mind shortly after. He'd at least been willing to try, so surely it wasn't completely unknown to help those in need. Maybe it was just this farmer, just someone so cruel that he felt no shame in leaving a man and his wagon, horse included, standing in the rain unable to go anywhere.

_I will do what I can, Jester. See to this mother you mentioned earlier. She has no need to hide from me and my companions. We will bring no danger to your mother. Mothers are to be treasured, yes? Yes, yes, a family is a treasure indeed._

Still mouthing the words to myself, I moved past the wagon and made my way up the hill, finally seeing the looming windmill's form as the rain eased into a light drizzle. I'd already lost my poor, sweet brother Bastian and our own dear mother. I would not let a farmer cause this man to lose his own precious mother, wherever she was hiding away.


	11. Chapter 11

_"Don't worry, sweet Faith. Kind, gentle Faith. We will find treasures of our own, someday. I promise, greater treasures will be ours than you could ever dream of. Rare and wondrous treasures, just like I promised you. Remember?"_ Amicus whispered softly into my ear as we walked slowly up the hill towards the farm.

I knew he was trying to take my mind off of the family I had lost, all those years ago, and it brought a small smile to my lips that he did so. But I couldn't help wondering what had happened to Bastian, to the one person I had treasured even more than our mother and father.

Had he suffered before he died? Or was he somehow still alive out there somewhere? I knew it was unlikely, but I couldn't get him out of my mind right now, remembering how his dark hair framed his sun-kissed skin, bright eyes gleaming like jewels as they'ed watched me through thick dark lashes. He'd been so innocent back then. And I'd left him behind, even if it had been to provide that which our mother couldn't, especially after father had died. Had he thought I'd abandoned him?

_Ellery... Ellery, please bring the laughter back! I don't want to think about such sad thoughts! Please!_

I curled my arms around my torso as I struggled to breathe, panic slowly filling my lungs as I remembered how sick Bastian had been when I left. What if mother hadn't gotten the coin to buy him medicine in time? What if all the coins I had sent for her to take care of Bastian had been for nothing?

_No, no! The couriers all said there had been a boy with her. Oh, but what if they had been lying? What if-_

_"Silly Faith! You shouldn't dwell on such thoughts! No matter what you have lost in the past, you have us now. Or are we not enough anymore? Perhaps you are going to replace us with that other jester?"_ Ellery tumbled and dance around me before vanishing behind me again, his words broken up between the laughter that often spilled from his lips.

_Of course not! I don't even know the man! I'm just helping him because it's the right thing to do!_

_"And since when did that matter to you? You stopped trying to help others when that gutter rat of a beggar tried to kill you for the coin you had. You still bare the scars, even if they are hidden under all those pretty stitches you wear for me,"_ he whispered into my ear before dancing past me yet again.

As he turned to glance at me, I reached out for him, silently begging him to stop tormenting me with his words. Didn't he know how much I needed him right now, how I needed his rare kindness that made the torment bearable? He danced away from my hand, refusing as always to allow me to touch him, but I could hear him sigh softly at me.

_"Faith... Kind, foolish Faith, don't you understand? I simply wish-"_ Ellery's words were cut off by a shout from the farm ahead of us.

"Who are you? What do you want? Did that fool send you?!" An angry man stood there, his face set in a scowl as my eyes switched from Ellery to the farmer.

Oh. I hadn't expected an Imperial, his skin dark from days spent under the sun. Even in the dark, I could see that much. But that begged the question of why an Imperial would treat one of his own countrymen so harshly, for it had been obvious the other jester had been a citizen of Cyrodiil by both his features and his familiar accent. Had this man no feeling of solidarity for a fellow Imperial when surrounded by Nords? Or was it that he'd been living here so long, he had forgotten what he was?

Oh, or maybe he'd always lived here and so didn't have any desire to help a fellow Imperial because he didn't see himself as one... How sad that must be, not to feel like you had a home of your own but instead spent all your life living in someone else's land and never truly belonging no matter how much it was the land of your birth.

If not for the angry look on his face, I would feel far more compassion for the man. Nobody should have to feel like a stranger in the land they were born to. The sneer that was growing on his face, however, stopped any desire to pity him. No, no, there was nothing in this man that deserved my sympathies. Those were best kept for the Jester that was Cicero who waited with his mother down the road.

_The jester needs help. His wheel has broken and he has no tools to fix it. Please, the rain is a cruel thing when one has no way to escape it._

I tried to gesture my needs as I framed the words upon my lips, knowing better than to hope that the farmer would also understand me as the jester had. No, such people were far too rare and I had every reason to doubt that a mere farmer with no kindness in his heart would have bothered to ever learn such a skill when his own voice worked perfectly fine.

"Stop mumbling, I can't hear a thing your saying," his voice grew rough sounding, his hands clenching around the farm tools he held. "I don't have time to waste. My wife waits for me with a meal that grows colder with every passing minute. I've no time to waste on fools."

I could feel my own anger building in my chest, knowing that this man would never agree to help with the wagon wheel. Not with me unable to use words to convince him. No, he would leave the poor jester to stand in the rain, his body growing cold and wet as illness took hold. Bastian's face, flushed red with fever, flashed before me and the world turned red.

* * *

I picked my way down the path back to the road, the bag that was thrown over my shoulders heavy from the weight of the tools it held. I was sure that if I tried, I could remember what father had done to get the wheel to stick on the little cart he'd used to haul ore up and down the mineshaft. Surely a wagon wheel couldn't be that much different.

_Jester! Loreius wouldn't help but I have his tools! If you can find a light to see by, I'll do my best to put the wheel back on your wagon myself!_

I smiled at the man happily as he stared at me, his honey-brown eyes wide as he looked at the rain slowly washing the rest of the red from my face. I could feel my fingers twitch a little as I felt the need to add new stitches to the pattern on my arms. Maybe some nice red flowers among the leaves that trailed down towards my wrists.

_Yes, yes, roses sound lovely, don't you think Ellery? Bright red roses._

"Cicero has a lamp he can light for the interesting stranger to work with. Perhaps she can tell Cicero how she convinced Loreius to give her his tools while she works?" The wicked smile that spread across his face had Ellery cackling as the jester spoke to me.

_Why, he felt so bad for not helping earlier that he was just dying to let me take them, dear Jester who is Cicero!_


	12. Chapter 12

"So, does the quiet, helpful stranger have a name to share with Cicero?" I glanced up at the jester as he spoke, my fingers wrapped around the edges of the rain-soaked wheel as I lifted it up from the ground.

_"You shouldn't share your name with strangers. Especially one who smiles as he does at the sight of blood. He might end up smiling over your own blood if you aren't careful, sweet Faith,"_ Ellery's voice called softly from the other side of the wagon as he danced about the puddles the rain had left behind when it finally stopped.

Tilting my head, I peered at the jester beside me as he helped hold the wagon steady for me. I paused for a moment before easing the wheel into place, securing it and replacing the large metal pin that had been lost when the wheel had come off. It was just a temporary fix, but should last until the Jester who was Cicero could get to the next town and seek proper repairs. Of course, he would have to be careful with how he rode the wagon since the repairs would not hold if he was too rough or drove the wagon too fast.

_I am Faith. I do not fear my death at your hands. Amicus will keep me safe if you desire to try anything, just as he always does._

I stared into the man's eyes, seeing the curiosity grow within them moments before I felt that familiar grip pulling me to duck and twist moments before a dagger slashed through the air where once my neck had been. Mad laughter filled my ears as we began a dance of life and death in the dark, our feet slipping in the mud just often enough to keep us from the fast pace our bodies yearned for.

Between one breath and the next, I felt warm blood seeping from a smattering of small cuts on my arms as Amicus gripped my wrists and did his best to keep the blade from cutting deeper. The jester was far faster than we'd expected him to be, almost as quick as Amicus would be if he didn't have to lead my body's movements. I could only be thankful that I had grown used to being puppeted around like this over the years, having allowed my Assassin to lead me in similar dances before.

This was the first time, though, that I was unsure if I would live through to see the end of the dance. For once, I was unsure if Amicus could make my body move fast enough to avoid the blade's movements, frightened that the jester might get a lucky hit and sink his dagger deep into my flesh.

_Oh, but I can't die yet! Ellery still hasn't forgiven me! And Amicus, we still need to find our treasure! You promised me family, Amicus! A treasure for us to cherish, to protect with our very lives!_

I felt one last cut drag across my side before the world grew still, my legs collapsing from underneath me as Amicus finally let go and stepped back. I stared with wide eyes at the man before me as he grinned madly, his eyes bright with glee while I struggled to catch my breath.

"Your Amicus does his job well. Cicero hasn't had a target escape his blade so well before! Ahh, but Faith is not really a target, is she now... No, no, Cicero was just seeing if the words she 'spoke' were true. And they were! They were true! Faith ducked and wove and spun about so quickly in her dance that Cicero was almost hard-pressed to keep up! Almost. Cicero wonders where Amicus and Faith got their training from," the jester spoke as he stared at me, his voice pitched far lower than it had been before.

_I'm not sure where or who trained Amicus, but he is the one who guides me. I learned through watching how he moves and practicing with him. When needed, I become his puppet and he moves me as he must to keep me alive._

"Oh! Cicero knows of puppets and puppet masters! But never has he seen it done like that before, oh no! Cicero wonders how long Faith has been practicing being a puppet for assassins. After all, he would have to be a different kind of fool not to realize that if Faith had wielded a blade as well, Cicero would have his own fair share of cuts to tend," the way his hand tightened around the handle of his blade spoke with just as deadly a threat as his own voice did.

I felt a chill run down my back as I tried to shift away from the jester who spoke of things he shouldn't know about. It was only when I felt Amicus' hands come to rest on my shoulders that I began to relax, his breath warm against my ear as he began to whisper to me.

_"This is a test. He is testing you. To see if he needs to kill you or not. Perhaps, a test to see if you are worth keeping alive instead. Whatever you do, you... No, we need to pass his test. Faith, whatever you do, do not fail. We can't afford to fail now,"_ I shivered when I felt his lips brush against my ear before he pulled away again, leaving me to somehow try and figure out what this test was.

Somehow, I had to pass a test I didn't even know existed before Amicus spoke up. A test I didn't know _how _to pass. Looking down for a moment, I saw the blood that was slowly leaching into the ground, seeing all the cuts he'd made on my arms and legs and felt anger begin to burn within me. He'd cut my stitches! _He cut my stitches!_

Glaring up at the man, I found myself leaping up at him and shoving him to the ground as I crouched over him, my inability to speak the only thing keeping me from actually screaming at him in rage.

_You cut my stitches! Do you have any idea how long I worked on these ones? No! Of course not! Because you don't know anything about me! How can I show Ellery how much better I've gotten if you RUIN THE STITCHES I WORKED SO HARD ON?! How can I get him to forgive me if he won't let me work on a new cap? How can I live if I'm always surrounded by his death?!_

I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw the tears splashing down upon the cheeks of the startled man beneath me. His face grew sad as he looked up at me.

"Shhh, Cicero didn't mean to make quiet Faith cry. He didn't know she even had stitches to be cut by his blade. If he had, he would not have been so quick with his dagger. Cicero is sure that Faith's Ellery will not blame her for Cicero's mistake," he spoke gently as I felt his arms slowly wrap around me, pulling me against his chest as he lay there. "Shhh, shhh, it's okay. Cicero understands now. He understands far more than Faith realizes."


	13. Chapter 13

I don't think my mind was working right, my thoughts murky and my most recent memories blurring together in strange ways. The jester's face would blur in my mind until I was looking at Ellery, then focus back into the one who called himself Cicero. One moment, I was on the ground being held against a wet but warm chest and the next I was sitting curled up on the driver's bench next to the strange jester who was not my Jester.

I felt like the world had tilted and I was waiting for it to right itself again.

"Ahh, the kind assassin who is not an assassin is waking up. Cicero was starting to worry that he had caused her to break more than she already was," the man's voice, once again in that higher pitch, spoke from beside me. "We are almost to Whiterun if quiet Faith needs anything while Cicero gets his wagon repaired."

I was unsure what to make of the man next to me, wondering why he hadn't simply killed me and ended the whole thing. I couldn't quite remember what exactly had happened after the fight. Amicus had said... something?

_Ouch, why is my head so sore? I feel like it got smacked against a rock a few times... Urgh, and my throat, so dry._

As soon as I mouthed the words, a waterskin was shoved beneath my nose, the sloshing sound within causing my throat to feel even drier than it had before. I barely heard the man's words as I twisted the cap off and began guzzling the liquid it held.

"Cicero would guess that it was likely the crying that caused both. He remembers his own head hurting a few times in the past when he... Well, life was not always filled with laughter for poor, lonely Cicero," the man shrugged, looking away down the road when I turned my eyes toward him.

Reaching out, I passed him the waterskin back and touched his cheek, pulling my hand back when he flinched. I wasn't sure where he'd gotten the bruise, unsure if it had happened during the fight or some time afterward. It made me wonder yet again, what had happened earlier?

_"You caught his interest, somehow."_

I looked up and saw Ellery walking beside the wagon, barely within the range of the lantern's light. His dark hair shifted in the light breeze that was blowing past the cart, chilling me as I realized my clothing was still damp and the only thing helping was a thin blanket loosely wrapped over my shoulders.

_"He won't hurt you, for now. He's intrigued. Something about us interests him and that is what will keep you alive. Don't lose his interest, Faith. If you do, I can't promise I can save you. He was holding back during that fight,"_ I felt warm breath against the back of my neck, fingers running gently through my hair before Amicus pulled his hand away again. _"I couldn't live if you died because I wasn't fast enough to save you."_

_I'll try, Amicus. I'll do my best to survive. After all, both of you are relying on me. We have treasures to find, right?_

Looking to the side again, I saw the man look away from where he'd been watching my lips. Wait, something was wrong. Turning about in my seat, I looked around the wagon, seeing the oiled cloth still pulled tight to cover whatever cargo was held within the back. Reaching over slowly, I gave the man a quick shake to get his attention before pulling my hand back. As soon as his eyes returned to my face, gaze wandering before resting on my lips, I asked the question that had entered my mind.

_Where is your mother? I don't see anyone but us in this wagon._

I wasn't expecting the laughter that bubbled up from the jester's throat. When his eyes met mine, I felt like I was going to drown within the depths of his honey-in-sunlight gaze. If he hadn't blinked a few moments later, I have doubts I would ever have been able to pull myself away long enough to hear what he said next.

"Oh, but if Cicero told kind Faith right now, he might have to cut her adventure short. And Cicero doesn't think either of us would want that to happen. Not before sweet Faith finds her treasure? Cicero wonders what kind of treasure someone like Faith seeks. Surely something far more interesting than what the average person would call treasure," the grin on his face went from frightening to sly almost faster than I could keep up with.

_"Don't tell him everything. If you give him everything he wants, he might lose interest. Tell him just enough to wet his appetite to learn more,"_ it could barely be called a whisper, Amicus kept his voice so soft as he traced his fingers along the back of my neck, making a shiver run through my body. _"Gather as much of his interest as you can, sweetest Faith."_

I tried to ignore the look of interest my movement garnered from the jester, feeling my cheeks grow warm from embarrassment. What was Amicus thinking? Reaching back, I swatted the back of my neck, feeling him pull his hands away as he gave a soft laugh.

_Quit messing around Amicus! I can't think when you do that!_

"Oh-ho! Cicero wonders just what kind of friend this Amicus is, that Faith turns so red in the face. Tell Cicero, is Amicus a 'special friend' of Faith's? How exactly does that work? Cicero is very curious," the wicked look in the jester's eyes had me nearly jumping from my seat, wanting to escape that burning gaze.

_I- I don't need to explain anything about Amicus to you! You haven't earned the right to that knowledge! Amicus and Ellery are worth a hundred of you! You wish you could be a treasure as great as them!_

"Ahh, we're here. Cicero thinks Faith should go visit the healer and see about getting her stitches fixed. Cicero will see to finding someone that can fix the wagon wheel and restock his supplies. If Faith wishes to keep traveling with Cicero, he will wait for her at the gates until noon," the man glanced in my direction as I looked ahead to see the gates drawing near, not even having realized how close we had gotten. "Cicero would recommend Faith be at the gates."

A different kind of shiver went down my spine at the subtle deepening of his voice. It became very clear to me what would happen if I was no longer 'wishing to travel with Cicero' and I made a mental note to be at the gates well before noon. It was at this point that I realized the sun had begun rising while I had been distracted by conversation. Looking once more at the gates ahead of us, I realized that I was not looking forward to returning to a town I had just left less than a day ago.

Hopefully, I could avoid the brothers this time. It would be awkward enough being here without having the smaller of the two shouting at me coming back so soon after being told to leave.


	14. Chapter 14

I climbed down from the wagon as soon as we got close enough to the gates that the guards began walking over, making my way into town as I heard the Jester who might be an Assassin begin explaining the issue with the wagon needing repairs.

I flinched when I felt a few of the cut threads on my limbs catch against my clothing and pull, knowing that I would need to tend to them more than I'd expected. I dreaded how much I might have to spend on healing potions or a priest's assistance, rather than the usual salve to simply fight off infection when I removed stitches from time to time.

Giving a sigh, I wandered towards the inn, hoping I could rent a room for a few hours so I could take a much-needed bath in privacy and remove the stitches so as to avoid too many awkward questions if I did indeed need a priest to tend to the wounds. If the wounds were that bad, I would need to have a true healing done and then Ellery would likely refuse to speak to me for days afterward, no matter what the Jester called Cicero said.

Just thinking of the man sent another shiver down my spine. Part of me wanted to run and hide, but if he was indeed an assassin like Amicus, I knew there would be no hiding from him. After all, the only way to stop an assassin from finding their target was to kill them. And Amicus had already said that the man was skilled. I didn't want to find out how skilled.

No, my best bet, for now, was to try and keep his interest enough that he kept his dagger sheathed, although I had no idea what it was that he found interest in with me. Amicus and Ellery were the interesting ones, being an Assassin and a Jester in turn. Surely that was something that would catch the man's attention, being as he was one, if not both, himself.

Me? I was just a sneak thief, all but a very good one if I said so myself. But still, a thief which was not something worth the attention of an assassin nor a jester. Ellery and Amicus were only interested in me because we had become friends over the years. That and I owed Ellery a new cap! Must never forget the cap, otherwise, he might leave and never forgive me!

_I would never forget your cap, Ellery, no worries. No, no, need your forgiveness too much to ever forget._

After finally finding a room that offered privacy, I slowly peeled the clothing from my body, tears running quietly down my face as threads stuck to the fabric and ripped from their spots in the patterns I'd worked so hard to create. Blasted jester, I really would have to start over again after being healed. Especially with all the dirt and grime that had gotten under the layers of clothing and caked my skin. To do anything other than a full healing would be to invite infection, something I didn't want to chance dealing with on top of everything else happening right now.

Climbing inside of the steaming tub of water I'd paid extra for, I began washing the partially dried filth from my body, hoping that it would get me clean enough to safely remove the rest of the stitches. It would be awkward enough with the looks I knew I would receive from them without inviting even more questions if I didn't remove all the threads.

Yes, I would truly be starting from scratch this time. It had been a long time since I'd had to get a full healing done and start with a blank canvas, only old scars left behind to create patterns around. Oh well, I would figure out something even prettier to stitch for Ellery once everything was healed up and had a clean needle to work with. Maybe some new thread, too.

_I wonder if they have any red thread at that shop we passed earlier. We should go check before we head back to the gates after everything is seen to._

* * *

I'd almost jumped when I felt Amicus pull me back around the corner I'd just passed, stumbling over my feet and nearly dropping the assorted threads I'd been stuffing into the pouch I kept my sewing kit in. I'd found a lovely red, as well as a few other colors I wanted to test out.

_"Shhh, keep still. The yelling man is over there, shouting at our new jester companion,"_ the warmth of Amicus' breath against my ear as he spoke almost distracted me from what he'd said.

Why were they yelling at the Jester maybe Assassin? Surely he wouldn't have done anything to cause suspicion from anyone. No, no, he was smarter than that. Otherwise, he would never have survived this long. Maybe the yelling man just liked to yell at people he didn't know? Yes, that might be it.

Slipping back around the corner of the building, I began sneaking closer to the arguing pair, barely able to make out the Jester called Cicero's high pitched voice as he screeched at the angry-looking man who seemed to be telling him to stop blocking so much of the entry. Pausing for a moment, I noticed that the wagon did seem to be blocking part of the gates the way he had it parked.

Had he done that on purpose, to make sure I couldn't try to leave without him seeing me? As if I would even attempt to test his ability to track me down and steal my life as quickly as I could steal an apple from the market on a busy day. No, I was no madwoman to tempt his blade to seek my blood!

Standing up from my crouch, I rushed over and grabbed the rude man before he could yell anything else at the man I was traveling with, stepping back quickly as he turned to me with a shout.

"What now?! Can't you see-" he began, freezing when he finally looked down and saw me. Damn but even the shorter Nords were ridiculously tall. "It's you... I thought you left?"

Frowning at the man, I motioned to the bandages that poked out from beneath the edges of my shirt. I'd worn one with shorter, looser sleeves. The priestess I had found had insisted I not wear anything with tight sleeves until the wounds had a chance to finish healing. She'd refused to do a full healing, as most of the wounds had been 'self-inflicted'. As if she had any right to judge me!

However, it was useful right now, enjoying the way the man flinched at the sight of the bandages. Completely worth spending the coin I had on threads instead of a minor healing potion to finish up mending what the priestess hadn't.

_What, do you feel guilty that I am back here with wounds, after kicking me out yesterday? Do you blame yourself for the injuries that I might not have if you had simply left me alone? Hah! I hope you wallow in misery!_

The sudden cackle from the jester standing next to his cart had the now subdued man looking at him, anger rushing back to his face. "What? You think it is funny that this woman is injured?"

"Oh no, Cicero feels bad that she is wounded. Surely if she had been able to stay the night safely in town, she would never have gotten hurt so badly as to require a priest's tender administrations. Although he wonders why they left her still injured. Surely they would not be so cruel as to leave such a gentle soul in pain? Did sweet Faith perhaps not have enough coin to afford a full healing?" The way he smiled at me as he spoke, his eyes darting to look at the way the other man flinched from his words, left me knowing that he was more than happy to feed the man's guilt in ways I could not.

_She refused to heal the rest of the wounds. I'll be fine. It will just take a while to finish healing natur-_

I was stopped mid-word as I felt a large hand rest on my shoulder from behind, a healing potion appearing before my eyes before I turned to look behind me. It was the shouting man's brother, his eyes filled with sadness as he slowly removed his hand from me after giving a gentle pat.

"Sorry you got hurt," he mumbled, grabbing my hand and wrapping my fingers around the potion before letting go and walking over to his brother. "Let's go home, brother. He was just waiting for her. Right?"

"Of course Cicero was waiting for his friend Faith to show up! He wouldn't dream of leaving without her!" The jester spoke happily, a sharp smile on his face as he looked at me. "Cicero is very glad sweet Faith showed up when she did. Cicero worried he was going to have to go searching for her."

_I had no plans on abandoning our travels together. I guess things took longer than I had realized. But I am here now and we can leave. Let us see what adventures await us, Jester Assassin._

"Hmmm, Cicero likes that. Yes, he likes that indeed. Sweet Faith comes up with such interesting nicknames for Cicero," he said in a playful tone as he assisted me up into the wagon, climbing up beside me before grabbing the reins. "Cicero looks forward to what else strange Faith has to say during the 'adventures' ahead of us."


	15. Chapter 15

I could feel the flush of health slowly winding through me after drinking the last of the potion the soft-spoken brother had given me, ignoring the smirk the Jester Assassin gave me as he steered the wagon down the path and away from the busy Hold behind us.

"Cicero is surprised that quiet Faith has so much trust for a stranger. Or perhaps she does know the man and that is why she worries not about poison?" I sighed at his words, rummaging through my pack before turning to meet his gaze.

_It isn't that I know him. I simply know what a potion of healing should look, smell, and taste like. Amicus would skin me alive if I didn't check before drinking something a stranger gave me. Besides, not gonna waste a free potion if I can put it to good use. Those things aren't exactly cheap._

As I 'spoke' to him, I opened the jar I had pulled from my pack and began trying to apply the salve within to the bruise on his cheek, scowling at him when he moved to pull away from my hand.

_It's just a salve to help the bruise heal faster, Jester Assassin. See? No poison._

I rubbed some of the basic healing salve into the back of my hand, lifting it up for him to see as he waited patiently for a reaction. When there was no sign of anything untoward happening to my skin, he slowly tilted his cheek toward me, eyes still watching closely as I dipped my fingers back into the jar. Slowly, my fingers traced over the bruise before rubbing the salve into his skin as gently as I could.

_Is the bruise from the fight? Or did it happen afterward? Things are a little blurry, I'm afraid, and I don't quite remember exactly what happened._

I avoided meeting his eyes as I leaned back, putting the lid back on the jar and slipping it back into my pack. Grabbing a clean rag, I wiped the remaining cream from my hand and stuffing the tattered cloth into a pocket once done.

"Cicero didn't pay attention to when he got the bruise. He instead wonders where interesting Faith got the salve. It smells like the flowers Cicero used to pick for Mother in Cyrodiil," he nearly sang the words as his eyes darted from my face to my hands, watching as my fingers plucked at a loose thread I'd found near the bottom of my shirt.

_Its something I learned to make a long time ago. My mother, sometimes she worried if I came back home with bruises, so she taught me a simple remedy that could be made with flowers and herbs that grew wild around Bru- around the town I grew up in. And when I moved, I found a book that explained other ways to make it. I was never very good at alchemy though, so this is about the only thing I know how to make._

I'd pulled at the loose thread enough that it was beginning to unravel, a small hole forming in my shirt, but I couldn't seem to stop picking at it. I hadn't even bothered to look up again at the Jester Assassin to see if he was looking at my lips. Part of me didn't care at that moment if he knew what I was saying.

It was so strange talking about even just one part of my past with someone other than Ellery or Amicus. They had always been the ones who I had these conversations with, the only ones who could understand what I said. Having someone else able to read my lips rather than words written upon clay or paper had me feeling almost like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, unsure if I was going to fall off the edge or if I would somehow spread wings I'd never noticed before and suddenly fly.

_I wonder what it feels like to fly? When I die, do you think I could come back as a bird, Amicus? I think I wouldn't mind being a bird, free to go anywhere the wind could take me. Would you and Ellery become birds with me? I wouldn't want to be a bird if I had to leave you behind. If I became a bird and you didn't, would you let me stay with you anyhow?_

Before I even realized it, I found myself curling against the Jester Assassin. The exhaustion from a night spent in the rain fixing a broken wagon, followed by a fight to survive and a poor few hours of sleep in wet clothing, left me falling asleep once more against the man's side.

_Why haven't you killed me yet, Cicero? I don't understand..._

"To be honest, Cicero is not sure. Perhaps he is just lonely and wants company before he must join a Family that might not care for his arrival. It could be he is just curious about what secrets Faith holds within her. Or maybe she reminds Cicero of something he has forgotten. Cicero couldn't really tell sleepy Faith just yet. But when he knows the answer, he will be sure to let gentle Faith know as well."

I fell asleep to the feeling of fingers combing gently through my hair, the scent of sweet treats wafting from someplace close by.

* * *

When I woke again, I could barely shake the memory of the dreams that had plagued my sleep. I could still smell the blood and smoke, feel the soft velvet pressed against my cheek as warm fingers had roamed across my body. Wait, no, it hadn't been velvet. Wha-

"Is mysterious Faith finally awake? She must have had interesting dreams. Faith has been rubbing her cheek against Cicero's shoulder for a while now, not that he minds," I pulled back at the words, rubbing my hands against my face to banish the feel of his velvet motley from my skin.

Looking up as my face grew hot, I saw those honey-in-sunlight eyes shining with mischief and could only hope he was just messing with me. Please, let me have just been leaning against him, as that was bad enough! Oh, please tell me I hadn't been actually rubbing my face against the jester's shoulder!

"Ahaha! The look on Faith's face! And Cicero thought Faith turned red when her Amicus was playing with her! Oh-ho-ho! Perhaps Cicero is going to become a 'special friend' for pretty Faith? Cicero wouldn't mind, no, no! Cicero hasn't been anyone's 'special friend' in a long time, though, so he must warn sweet Faith that he might be a bit rusty," the Jester Assassin cackled with far too much glee as he winked at me, growing even louder as I pulled back from him so hard I nearly fell off the wagon.

_No! I don't have any 'special friends' and even if I did, you would be the last person to become one! I don't need any 'special friends' you fool! All I need is Ellery and Amicus and the treasures they will help me find! Those who I can call my own and-!_

I choked as I realized I'd spoken of something I was not ready to speak of with anyone other than my beloved companions. This fool of a man didn't deserve to know about that which I had yearned for since losing Bastian, since I'd lost a piece of my Ellery's heart, and the Assassin who became Amicus had first touched me so gently. No matter how much I had gained over the years since then, I had lost something that I couldn't replace. Not on my own.

I didn't know this Jester Assassin, didn't trust him not to try and trick me, blind me from being able to see any of the treasures I desired so desperately to find. Or even kill me as soon as I found them, but before I could claim them as mine.

_Amicus... Amicus, I've said too much! I didn't mean to tell him! I didn't mean to tell!_

I barely even felt it as I reached up and began ripping at my hair, only freezing in place when I felt warm hands upon my own as they gently uncurled my fingers and pulled them down. Soon, arms were wrapping around me and pulling me close.

"Shh, lonely Faith doesn't need to worry. Cicero understands. Cicero seeks a similar sort of treasure himself. For his sweet Mother of course! She needs it far more than Cicero does. He's gotten used to being alone with just Mother to keep him company. Of course, it would be nice if she would speak to poor Cicero. Cicero would always be willing to Listen to his sweet, sweet Mother, if she would just talk to him. But Faith talks to Cicero, keeps him from feeling so alone. Perhaps kind Faith will be-" his voice slowly faded into a soft murmur as gentle hands ran down my back, pulling me into a dream of crushed velvet and gentle whispers as I danced about a darkened room.


	16. Chapter 16

Once again, I woke up with my cheek pressed against velvet. This time I was too emotionally drained to pull away quickly or try to pretend it hadn't happened. Instead, I just continued to lean against the man's shoulder as I sat and thought about the events of the past day... two days? How long had I been traveling with the Jester Assassin now? Surely not more than two days, right?

_Amicus, the days aren't vanishing again, are they? It's not like with Agrane, is it? Am I being caught in a trap again?_

_"No, no, sweet Faith. The Jester Assassin is not like the old Breton at all. Oh no, this Cicero might lay traps, but he weaves a different kind of trap than Agrane ever did. One that is easy to escape if you desire to. No, the danger in this one's traps is that you may end up wanting to be caught in them,"_ came the soft whisper from behind me, a gentle hand running down my back as I shifted slightly in place.

Wait, that wasn't Amicus' hand.

"Does Faith plan on staying awake this time? Cicero thinks it is time to take a break and have something to eat. He believes we might make it to the next town by tomorrow, as long as we do not stop too often," a soft voice came from next to me, the shoulder under my head shifting as the arm moved up to pat my head before being lowered back down to rest against my side.

I turned my head just enough to look at the man, taking note of how tired he seemed. How long had it been since he had slept? I don't remember him stopping at any point to make camp, nor take time at Whiterun to rest at the inn. He was always steering the wagon or, back in town, seeing that the repairs had been made so we could travel again. I doubt he'd gotten any rest and simply watched to make sure the work got done to his satisfaction.

_Jester Assassin, you should rest after we eat. Even if just for an hour or two, you should not go too long without sleep. It would do no good for you to be tired if something happens. You never know when wolves will attack. I can't tell you how many I ran into before I came across you the other day._

The sudden laughter had me pulling my head away from the now shaking shoulder, blushing at the sudden squeeze his arm gave before he let go of me and slapped his thigh in merriment.

"Oh, sweet, thoughtful Faith, you need not worry about poor Cicero! He can take care of himself in a fight. Besides, Cicero is very used to having to work on minimal sleep. It wouldn't be the first time he's had to defend Mother after keeping watch for days before it was safe enough to rest. You need not worry about wolves getting the best of him," his voice sounded rough to my ears, telling me he was more tired than he wanted to admit to.

_I believe you, Jester Assassin, but I'm telling you that you don't need to go without. I know I'm not as good as you and Amicus, but I promise I can at least keep anything that comes near us busy long enough for you to wake up and defend yourself. I would feel better knowing that you had at least gotten some rest while you had the chance._

The Jester who was an Assassin gave me a strange look before sighing at me. Wiping a hand down his face, he slowly steered the wagon off the path. As he shifted to climb down from his seat, he turned to me once more.

"If Faith promises she will not try to take advantage of Cicero while he rests, then he will do as she asks. Well, Faith can take advantage of Cicero if she changes her mind about letting him become one of her 'special friends' while she has him at her tender mercies?" Even now, he wouldn't stop trying to poke fun at me, teasing me relentlessly about something he knew was an uncomfortable subject for me.

But for once, I didn't feel like snapping at him and simply leaned forward to press my forehead against his own. The man was more tired that he'd even let on, sighing as he pressed back for a moment.

"Can Cicero take this as a yes?" he questioned softly as I pulled back again.

_No, but I wouldn't mind seeing if we can perhaps become friends somehow. We don't know each other well enough yet for anything more than that. After all, we only met a couple of days ago, right? For now, take a nap and maybe we can work on that friend thing afterward._

He paused for a moment before giving me a small half-smile and nodding, soon moving away from the wagon to set up a small area to warm up some food and place a bedroll. Good, he really was going to take me up on having a nap. Alone.

I'm honestly not even sure why I offered to try to become friends. I hardly knew the man, since we had only met so recently. How much could one learn about someone in such a short amount of time? I mean, sure I knew he was a jester, as well as being an assassin since he'd never denied it when I named him as such. He was traveling with his mother, or so he claimed, even if I had yet to see her.

And he was lonely, sad sometimes even as he laughed. I preferred his real laugh, like the one he gave when I fell that first night we met. Sometimes he reminded me of Ellery with his cackling and teasing. Others, he reminded me of gentle hands holding me during the darkest moments when Amicus was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

Maybe... maybe I don't know him like I know Ellery and Amicus, but perhaps I know enough to call him more than a mere acquaintance. To call him something that was almost a friend? Becoming a friend? The thought was almost frightening after so long with just my two familiar companions to accompany me. Would it be like this when I met one of the treasures we sought? When I had to make that choice to open myself up to someone I didn't know and hope they didn't turn away from me?

_Amicus, is this what it will be like when we find them someday?_

_"Isn't it always?"_


	17. Chapter 17

While the Jester Assassin slept, I brought out my needle and threads, picking out the new red I had found. I didn't have enough time to get very much done, but it would never be finished if I didn't start somewhere. I spent the next hour adding careful stitches as I began covering the scars that still marked my skin with a series of delicate flowers. Perhaps this time I would add in some thorns on the vines that would eventually wrap around my arms.

Ellery, should I make the thorns red, too? Would you like that?

"Why bother? It'll just get ruined again next time that fool decides to have some 'fun' with you. You'll never find time to make me the cap you promised me, not with him distracting you and forcing you to recreate your stitches every time he decides to play around," his harshly voiced comments would have hurt more if I hadn't already been expecting them.

It's only happened once. You know I didn't mean for the last pattern to get ruined. And neither did he! He just didn't know... I don't think he will cut the stitches again, as he seemed sorry when he found out. I'll just make sure he knows to be careful if he wants to dance that dance with us again.

"And what if he kills you next time? Did you think of that?! Then who will make me a cap to replace my lost one? Hmm? And what of Amicus? Who will speak with him about his treasures? If that Cicero kills you, who will there be to acknowledge we ever even existed? You're the only one who doesn't ignore us! The only one who remembers!" Ellery sounded truly upset and I was unsure how to answer, not able to make any promises that the Jester Assassin wouldn't grow bored of me and end my life in another dance.

I can't be sure that he won't kill me, Ellery. I'm sorry, I wish I could. Even if I ran from him while he slept, I can't promise he wouldn't hunt me and kill me for leaving him. All I can do is stay with him and try to survive somehow until either he finds a reason to let me go or... I don't know. Maybe his family he mentions once in a while will make him let me go? If not, if I die instead, maybe the Jester Assassin will learn how to see you and you could travel with him instead. Just so you wouldn't become lonely. Although, I'm not sure if he would make you a new hat. But perhaps, if you asked him to, he would try?

"It wouldn't be the same," he whispered before turning away and walking toward the wagon, shoulders slumped as he peered at the oiled cloth that still covered the cargo, even though there was no longer a threat of rain.

Sighing softly, I took a look around to make sure nothing was trying to creep up on us, not wanting to rely too much on Amicus to keep watch. I know he got distracted sometimes when I was stitching, enjoying his chance to watch new patterns take form upon my skin. Nothing was in the area, but I could see the jester shifting in his sleep and tied off the flower I had been working on. It would have to wait for the next chance I could find to spend time working on the pattern.

Climbing to my feet, I moved back towards the wagon as I placed my sewing kit back into my belt pouch. Best to make sure my Ellery wasn't trying to make trouble for the Jester Assassin out of anger.

Ellery, don't mess with his stuff. I don't need him getting upset with us. What are you doing over there? What... what is that?

At first, I thought that Ellery had done something to the cloth, but looking closer, I could see the rope that hung loosely from the corner of the wagon. It must have come undone at some point during the trip. I hoped that was all because if it was Ellery who'd done this, Cicero would be so upset with us. Either way, both of us were left peering curiously at the corner of a huge box that had been revealed. With part of the cloth out of the way, I understood clearly that whatever the box was, it hung a fair bit past the end of the wagon, something I hadn't even really paid attention to before this.

As tempted as I was to reach out and touch the box, I turned instead towards the rope and pulled the cloth back over the corner, carefully tying it back down. The Jester Assassin had left it covered for a reason, whatever that reason was. Even if just to keep us from knowing what he had in the wagon.

"Cicero is glad curious Faith did not try to peek at that which she does not have permission to see," came a deadly quiet whisper from behind me as a hand reached out and grabbed my own, pulling me away from the wagon as an arm came around from the other side and pressed me back against a velvet-covered chest. "Cicero doesn't want to have to continue his trip alone. He is enjoying having Faith keep him company far too much to have to stop now."

Slowly raising an arm up, I placed my hand over his as it rested just below my chest. Turning in place, my fingers curling against his own, I looked up at him with a hopefully playful smile. I had to fight to keep my hands from trembling, something that was luckily helped from years of practice keeping a steady hand while stitching so many patterns.

Sweet Cicero, I might be a thief, but even I know not to sneak peeks at that which belongs to an assassin. I have far too much left to do to risk my life ending so quickly. Besides, I still need to find out the answer to why you haven't killed me yet, right? You haven't told me and it would be a shame if I did something to make our little game end before it must.

"Our game? Ah, yes! Our game! A game to see how long playful Faith shall survive, yes? To see if she will live long enough to find her treasures and keep them for her own. Cicero looks forward to finding out the answer to that," the man said as he slowly leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine for a moment before pulling back and dancing away to collect his bedroll.

I had no idea what to make of things anymore. If felt almost like the whole world was slightly off-balance since I met the Jester Assassin and each day it tilted a bit further. But at the same time, it felt like I was putting together pieces of a puzzle I hadn't even known existed and had no clue what it would look like when I was done.

"Pretty Faith should get on the wagon now. We must make haste if we are to get anywhere before nightfall and have to slow our pace down again. Cicero is eager to see what happens next, but also begins to wonder what his Family might make of Faith if she makes it that far!"


	18. Chapter 18

_Oh sweet, playful Jester Assassin, would you mind telling me about this family of yours? Do they know what you are? Or maybe they are also like you and that is why you are traveling to meet them? Has it been a long time since you last saw them? I would imagine that you have missed them. Did they move to Skyrim very long ago? I bet they miss Cyrodiil. No matter how much time passes, I shall always miss my homeland. No place will ever feel like home the same as the lands I grew up in. I bet-_

"If Faith does not stop talking, how can she expect Cicero to answer her questions?" Cackling laughter followed the interruption.

_Sorry. I didn't mean to keep going. It's just that I've kept the questions to myself for so long that once I started asking, they all spilled out like water across the floor._

"Oh, Cicero understands. Sometimes it is hard to stop when you finally have someone to talk to after so long without. Although Cicero is sure that Faith's two 'friends' were always willing to converse, he is also sure that it is not quite the same as having Cicero pay attention to her words, right?" The look he gave me as he spoke made me feel like there was far more to his words than I understood before he began speaking again. "Ahh, but Faith wants to know about Cicero's Family, yes? Hmmm, what can he say without having to worry about saying something he shouldn't? It would be so much easier if curious Faith was part of the Family, then there would be no worry about needing to keep so many secrets."

_I'm not going to marry you just to learn something about your family! No! Just no!_

For a moment, the Jester Assassin just looked at me with his jaw dropped slightly before suddenly he was curling his arms around himself as he began laughing so hard he could barely draw in a breath. Moments later, I could hear my Ellery joining in, causing me to wonder what was so funny about what I had said. I wasn't going to marry someone I was still learning about! And I was far too old to be adopted. What other way was there to join a family?

"Ahh, Cicero thinks silly Faith misunderstands! Cicero was not talking about that kind of family, he was talking about his Family! The Family that he chose for himself, not the one he was born into! Ohh, but Faith looked so funny when she thought Cicero was asking her to marry him! He might think she is pretty, but Cicero has far too many obligations to allow himself to be distracted beyond perhaps a little fun. And pretty Faith has already made it clear she is not looking for that kind of fun. At least, not yet, hmm?" He slowly calmed his laughter and gave a shameless grin as he spoke. "Cicero is willing to wait for her to change her mind, but he hopes she does so before it is too late to play."

_"Oh Divines, please tell me he doesn't honestly think you're going to sleep with him!"_ Ellery's voice came from the side of the wagon as he walked beside us.

Turning to him, I blushed at the look on my Jester's face. It was bad enough he made that suggestion after what Cicero had said, he didn't need to confirm what the Jester Assassin had meant!

_He's just messing around, Ellery! He doesn't mean it! It's just a-_

"Oh, but Cicero means every word of what he says! Cicero wouldn't say no to the pretty assassin's puppet if she wanted to let him teach her a different kind of dance than last time. Perhaps she already knows this dance, but if not, Cicero would be willing to show her how it goes," he said as he reached a hand over to trace his gloved fingers down my cheek. "Blushing Faith makes Cicero remember how long it has been since he's had anyone to share his bed, even if just for a short while."

_It... It's just a joke, right? You're just messing with me to see how I react, right? I... You..._

"Ahh, smart Faith has caught on to Cicero's little game! Yes, yes! He just wanted to see if he could make Faith blush even more, yes. Just a joke from silly Cicero," he said, the smile he gave before turning away not quite reaching his eyes.

When he pulled his hand away, I was barely able to stop myself from reaching out grab it back. Just how long had he been alone before seeking out his family? And what kind of family was it, that it was one he had chosen rather than had from birth? Why would they leave him alone for so long? What kind of family had he been born to that he would choose to be part of a family that he seemed so unsure of at times?

There had to be a way to find out more about this man and his family without crossing those deadly lines he'd drawn in the proverbial sand.

* * *

Things had been uncomfortable between us ever since that awkward conversation, not to mention how things had become between me and Ellery. Amicus didn't really seem to have anything to say, but every time I so much as glanced at the Jester Assassin, Ellery was right there grumbling about it.

Still, I couldn't help but feel like I needed to apologize. No matter how uncomfortable he made me feel, I should have found a better way to make him realize it. Something that didn't make it sound like I was completely denying him. Except, isn't that what I was doing?

Glancing at the man who still refused to look in my direction, avoiding conversation since he couldn't read my lips and refusing to speak to me outside of necessity, I took a moment to look and take in the man I traveled with.

_Would it really be so bad to be with a man like him? What am I thinking? He could kill me at any time! He's an assassin!_

But so is Amicus. Besides, he hasn't killed me yet and has made it clear he would prefer not to if he could help it. So long as I follow his rules, he'll let me live. No peeking at his cargo, no asking about his family, and no trying to escape him. It was more than I had any right to expect from an assassin, even Amicus had commented on that at one point.

_Oh, but I didn't know the man nearly well enough to be with him! And besides, I don't want to give myself to someone who didn't want to stay with me. I'd done that once and even if Amicus came back to me, it hasn't been the same. No, no, I want someone who will be my treasure and treasure me in turn. I don't want a 'for now' with someone. I want forever..._

"Cicero can't guarantee a forever. That is why he does not offer it, even to someone as pretty and interesting as Faith. Cicero must put his Mother before anything else, even himself," the softly spoken words had me blinking, finally noticing that the man had turned to look at me while I'd been so busy thinking and talking to myself. "Cicero is not able to be that kind of treasure. Cicero is sorry he can't be what Faith is looking for."

Hearing him speak that way about himself, I could feel an old familiar pain as something inside me broke. Even if I wasn't sure why I said what I did next, I couldn't stop my lips from forming the words.

_Oh, Cicero... You don't need to be that kind of treasure to become a treasure to me..._


	19. Chapter 19

It was still awkward between us by the time we reached Riverwood, although at least we were talking again. I still was unsure why I had told him he could become a treasure, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this strange man who was both Jester and Assassin had become someone I cared about. I cared if he was getting enough to eat, had rested when he had the chance, even if his injuries had been seen to.

Ahh, but now we were in town, the wagon's wheels taking us down the main road towards the shop. I could only assume it was to restock while we had the chance, glancing at the man beside me as his eyes peered about, darting to each person and marking their placement. I could almost see him tagging them in his mind as either potential trouble in the case of guards, and potential annoyances for the citizens, in case we had to fight for some unexpected reason.

Tapping his shoulder, I waited until he was done looking around and allowed his eyes to rest on my lips as he slowed the wagon to a crawl.

"Yes, quiet Faith? Did you need something from Cicero?" His voice raised and lowered seemingly at random, but I could hear the sigh he was trying to hold back.

He was still unsure of how to behave around me, having commented earlier that sometimes my behavior was a little bit... erratic at times. I still didn't understand what he meant, but he must have seen something in my expression since he'd proceeded to give a small chuckle and shake his head before turning back to steering the wagon.

_Are we getting more supplies while we are here? If so, I would like to see if they have any new items at the shop. Hopefully, the angry Woman and the upset Shopkeep aren't arguing this time._

"Well, we could use some more apples, since Cicero didn't get any at Whiterun. If Faith is willing, Cicero will give her the coin to pick up some while she is in the shop. Cicero would prefer not to leave Mo- the wagon unguarded. He has very precious cargo to protect, so he will stay behind while Faith goes inside, yes?" The cautious look he gave me when he stumbled over his words had me barely holding back a flinch.

_Yeah, I'll get us some apples. Don't worry about the coin. I don't mind paying my own way and we have both been eating the meals you share with me. I'll try to finish up quickly so we can move on. I know you want to head out again before too much time passes._

With a quick half-hearted smile at the man, I climbed down from the cart and hurried towards the trader's shop. As soon as I stepped inside, I noticed the somber attitude within. Instead of arguing like before, the man and woman were speaking quietly to each other, worried looks on their faces. Peering around to see if any new goods had arrived since I was here, I quietly moved closer, listening in on their conversation.

* * *

I placed the heavy sack next to me after climbing back into the wagon, a frown upon my face as I thought about everything I had learned inside. The news was not good and I didn't look forward to sharing it with the Jester Assassin, but it would do no favors to either of us to keep it to myself. Peeking over at the man beside me, I could see his eyes were already on me, his lips pulled down into a deep frown of his own.

"You bought much more than apples, Cicero sees. He thought Faith was going to try to be quick about her business in the shop... Did she lose track of time? Cicero would have left Faith to guard the wagon if he knew she was going to take so long," he muttered, ignoring the wince I gave at his words.

_Helgen was attacked, burned to the ground... by a dragon. The man said that bandits have taken over what is left of the place and the guards are too busy watching for the dragon to attack another town to get rid of the bandits. Is Helgen where you were to meet your family? If so, I'm sorry. They said nearly everyone died in the attack. I'm so very sorry, Cicero..._

"And how did silent Faith find this out?" The simple question had me blinking in confusion for a moment before seeing the look in his eyes, caution and a sense of wary distrust.

Ahh, that's right. He still didn't really trust me yet. I hadn't proven myself to be anything other than a strange woman who had caught his interest, after all. No, he might act kind at times and playful at others, but I was still just a strange and 'erratic' person who might or might not become a friend. If he even wanted that anymore.

_People talk when they think nobody is listening. And sometimes even when they know others are around. The woman may not have cared to talk with me, but the man knew his letters and had information he was willing to share._

Reaching into my pouch, I pulled out the notes the man had written down upon my request and passed them to the man, my eyes turned away to gaze towards the road leading south. Would he demand we continue south? And if he did, would we be able to defeat the bandits if we had to fight them?

After a few minutes of silence passed, I felt a touch upon my shoulder that made me flinch at the unexpected contact. Taking a deep breath and giving a mental shake, I turned my head towards the Jester Assassin, unsure what to expect. Definitely not the sad look on the man's face when I met his gaze.

"Cicero is sorry. He's just not sure how to treat confusing Faith after earlier. He understands part of why Faith is the way she is and Cicero does like pretty Faith, but he doesn't like it when he is unsure what the rules are with her," he whispered, his eyes closing for a while before he looked up again at me. "Until Faith can tell Cicero her rules, can decide on what she wants, he's not sure if he can see them becoming friends. He needs to know where to stand with her that the ground will not suddenly crumble from beneath him. So for now, let us just remain companions on an adventure. Even if it seems we must turn around and take a different path than before. At least the trip is not so close to being over, right?"

I couldn't even respond as he slowly began steering the wagon down the path until we found a place open enough to turn around and head back north. No, instead I just sat there in my seat trying to focus on breathing. Had I said something wrong? What had I done? Did I even remember or was I forgetting things again? Pulling my hands up, I slowly hid my face from the world around me.

_Oh Ellery, Amicus, am I breaking? No, no, no, I can't break now. Not now, I just can't..._

Suddenly, I felt far too vulnerable without my stitches holding me together, the patterns there to keep me from falling apart.


	20. Chapter 20

Days of travel had been lost, having to turn around and follow a different route to get to where ever it was we were going. I still had no clue, even after seeing him pull out a map and peer at it for several minutes before nodding his head to himself. I didn't know Skyrim nearly well enough to know what places could be further down the road past Helgen. Perhaps, if I couldn't figure out what I had done, what I might still be doing without even realizing it... Maybe I would never know.

With such depressing thoughts as these, it almost came as a relief when the wolves I had once worried over finally did attack, their low growls filling the too silent air. With a shout, the Jester Assassin jumped from the wagon and quickly drew his dagger, ready to defend his wagon and whatever it held.

One moment, I was watching in awe as he spun to face the two wolves that suddenly ran from the trees with a snarl as they lunged for him, and the next... the next moment I was spinning around myself at the sudden sound of claws on wood from behind me as a third wolf lept onto the large crate hidden beneath the now torn cloth.

"Mother!" I heard the panicked shout from behind me, a chill running down my back as I finally put a few more puzzle pieces together.

His mother had been with us all along, boxed up and being taken to his family, not to visit them but to be buried. She was dead. She was dead and a wolf was climbing across her coffin, not caring for the scratches it left as it snapped its teeth at me. With a silent shout, I grabbed the dagger that I had purchased at Riverwood for protection and lunged over the bench, praying that Amicus would guide me instead of staying a silent observer as he had been thus far today.

When I felt those warm hands grasp my own and guide my dagger to slash at the wolf's side, I gave a silent cry of relief. Hearing a yelp from behind me, quickly ended with an angered shout from the Jester Assassin, I barely managed to stop myself from turning in worry that he had gotten hurt somehow. No, no, he needed me to protect his mother until he was able to finish up with the other wolf he was fighting.

As my own opponent growled and lunged forward, I felt my right hand stab forward with the blade at the same time my left came up to try and block its teeth that were suddenly close enough I could smell its breath in my face. My right arm jolted from the shock as the dagger sank into the wolf's chest, while my left arm... Oh, but my left arm was on fire as teeth tore into the recently healed flesh, the jaw clenching tight for a moment before finally growing slack.

Feeling hands grab my shoulders and pull me away from the body, I turned my head in a daze to meet those honey-brown eyes I had come to look forward to seeing. It seemed he had finished his own battle and rushed over. It had all happened so quickly, just a few moments it felt like. I would doubt even half a minute had passed, although I hadn't really kept track. I rarely kept track of time anymore. Not like I used to.

Oh, but my mind was wandering and that was no good. Cicero was trying to get my attention, a strange look on his face. I should listen to whatever he was saying, his lips moving quickly as he grabbed my arm and began ripping what remained of my sleeve off to look in horror at the wounds left by those too sharp teeth.

"-need to stop the bleeding! Faith? Faith, don't worry! Cicero will take care of you! Cicero will find a-"

His voice faded in and out, warping as the edges of my vision gradually grew darker until finally everything faded away and I knew no more.

* * *

The next time I woke up, as far as I could recall at least, I was laying down in a bed far softer than any I could remember being in since I'd left the Imperial City. That had been years and years ago and I knew I hadn't gone back there. Had I? No, no, I was traveling with Cicero and he had no reason to go back to Cyrodiil. He was trying to get to his family, to take his mother home.

His mother... The poor man, he hadn't wanted to tell me that she was dead, but looking back on it, it was obvious. He was protecting her because she couldn't protect herself, couldn't run from a fight or hide from beasts. She was as vulnerable as an infant, needing her devoted son to take care of her.

_Oh, Cicero, please tell me she's still safe. Tell me I was able to help her in time._

But no answer came from the empty room I lay in, the Jester Assassin most likely tending to his mother and doing what he could to keep her safe. Hopefully, she was safe. Please let her be safe.

_"Why wouldn't she be safe? You shoved your arm in that wolf's mouth, so it isn't like it was able to try and bite anything other than you, you idiot! Besides, how would it have gotten through the overly huge box that her body is in? For all we know, the man has her inside multiple boxes just to keep her safe from anything that might try and get to her,"_ Ellery's exhausted voice came from nearby as I looked up and saw him leaning against a wall in the shadows of the room. _"Do you realize how close we were to losing you? Do you even care?"_

_Of course I care, Ellery. It isn't like I want to die. I just... Don't you remember what I was like when I lost my mother? I couldn't just watch as he lost his own a second time. Family is a priceless treasure. No matter how much you argue with me and Amicus, I know you feel the same way. I just know you do..._

I turned my head as I slowly scanned the rest of the room, noting the stone walls around us. A wooden door nearby separated the room from the rest of wherever this place was, making me wonder if it was locked and I was a prisoner somewhere. Had Cicero been so upset with me that he had turned me over, telling whoever lived here about Loreius? Had he abandoned me and left me behind, deciding that I was too much trouble to keep any longer?

_Maybe I don't deserve to find treasure..._

_"Oh Faith, don't say that. Don't ever think that about yourself,"_ came Amicus' soft whisper, fingers brushing gently through my hair as a hand pulled me against a warm chest, reminding me of another man who'd held me like this not too long ago. _"Everyone deserves to find at least one treasure to call their own."_

_But I already have you and Ellery. What if you two are the only treasure I get to have? I used to think that would always be enough for me, that if I never found more it would be okay, but now... Now I'm not sure. And maybe that is why I don't deserve even that much anymore._


	21. Chapter 21

_"And so what if we are all you ever get to have, at least you will never be truly alone. You will never have to wonder if anyone cares because we do! If that fool never returns, never wants to see you again, who cares! We will stay by your side until the end!"_ Ellery's shout seemed to fill the room, shocking me as I had never heard him quite like this before.

_But Ellery... I care._

_"Faith... Juniper. I-... I'm sorry,"_ he spoke softly, his eyes wide before he turned away and moved to kneel before the low burning fire, muttering quietly that someone needed to bring in more wood.

He hadn't called me Juniper in a long time, not since I'd first told him of who I used to be. Why call me that now? I wasn't her anymore, hadn't been since I left Bruma. Juniper had still been a child in so many ways, unknowing of just how large and frightening Tamriel could be. Sure, she had her skills at thieving, but once she had seen a city, she'd been lost in the crowd in more ways than one. It was sad she had to die, but how else was Valencia to have been born? Ahh, now she knew how to survive in a city. But she'd had to meet her end in turn as well, just as Patience had in time.

I was Faith now, grown and knowing how easily one's life could be ended by even something so simple as having what someone else wants, be it coins, power, food, or perhaps even just the shoes on your feet. The world was a cruel place and to survive in it you either became strong enough to defeat those who would take you down... or you learned how to slip into the shadows so quietly that nobody knew you had even been there in the first place.

After all, nobody is going to attack something they don't even know is there.

* * *

I had slept most of that first day, waking up to the smell of warm broth from the nightstand beside me. After finishing the meal, I had found myself quickly growing bored, even with my two companions to converse with. However, as soon as Amicus gently turned my head towards the pack sitting on the floor beside the bed, that problem was solved. A variety of my things had been carefully packed within, from a couple of books to my sewing kit and a bundle of cloth.

I knew exactly what I would pass the time with as I waited, feeling the almost desperate need to stitch myself back together while I had the chance. After all, maybe if I had my stitches back, I wouldn't feel so lost anymore. They had always given me something familiar to remind me of who and what I was. Sometimes, those stitches were all that had kept me from giving up, since they reminded me I had something left to live for.

Grabbing the sewing kit and taking out my favorite needle, already threaded with a somber black, I pulled aside the blankets and began.

* * *

It wasn't until the third day that someone finally came into the room while I was awake, other than Ellery and Amicus who seemed to almost always be there with me, keeping me company. It seemed that the Jester Assassin had brought me back to Whiterun yet again for healing. However, this did not look like the temple I'd been to before. No, even the large man that had come into the room to check on me had looked nothing like a priest, even for a Nord.

The one thing I was truly glad for had been that I had been reading instead of stitching at the time, not wanting to face another person judging me for that which helped me stay sane. Even if my choice of books had him sending me a look of concern, at least it was only for my reading material and nothing more.

Well, maybe my health, but that wasn't anything I was too concerned with. I could already tell that I was pretty much fully healed, the only thing left from the wounds having been a few scars. No, it was the physical exhaustion that worried me. I shouldn't still be so tired after having slept so much, but the strange man tried to explain it as merely an after effect of the blood loss before he'd finally left. Shouldn't the priest or whatever potions were used have taken care of that?

Sighing, I turned the page in my book and nearly felt my heart freeze as a slightly yellowed parchment fell into my lap. It hadn't been in this book. I hadn't kept it in this one, why was it here? It had been in a book I hadn't opened in years, one old and worn from years and years of having been passed from one person to another. But how had the parchment made its way from A Kiss, Sweet Mother into The Locked Room?

Could it have been Cicero? But why? Why would he move this particulate letter from one book to the other and then place it in the pack left in the room for me? Why not leave it where it was? Why would he think I wanted to read the letter I wrote so long ago?

_Oh, Ellery... Why didn't you take it with you back then? Why did I keep it? I should have burned this letter after what I did to you..._

Even as the tears began to fall, I could make out the slightly faded words 'My Dearest Ellery'...


	22. Chapter 22

Another two days went by before the Jester Assassin finally found his way in to see me, days spent stitching bright red flowers amidst dark green leaves as thorny vines wove down my arms. I'd set everything else aside to work on the pattern every waking moment. I don't think I had ever finished a pattern so quickly, the roses almost looking like splashes of blood across my arms. I was just thankful that over the years I had gotten nearly as good with my off-hand as I had with my main hand.

When the Jester Assassin walked in, a bowl of stew in his hands and a look of relief on his face, I was unsure of how to behave. What did he expect of me? How did he see me now? Had I become a burden to him? I wouldn't blame him if he saw me like that. I wasn't sure why I had failed to defend myself properly in that fight. I'd never gotten hurt like that before when fighting wolves. The thought that he might think me so weak because of this had me frowning.

I don't want to be seen as a burden. I know I can do better.

"Cicero does not think Faith is a burden. Perhaps she was distracted? Or maybe she just needs more practice with her new dagger, although Cicero wonders what happened to her last weapon since she did not have one before. Only Cicero had a blade when they danced that first night," he spoke as he sat down on the bed, the bowl of stew still in his hands.

_I kinda lost it... when I was running... from a dragon. I swear, it really was a dragon! It was huge! I'd thought dragons were gone! That's what my father said, at least. But Skyrim seems to have them still, somehow! This place is crazy! How do you have dragons flying around killing people and not at least give a warning to people about it? Madness, I tell you! Madness!_

As soon as I ended my little rant, I saw a spoon of broth with just a little bit of meat in it raised before me. I peered at the man who was facing me on the edge of the bed and wondered if he really thought me weak enough to need feeding. But as soon as I opened my mouth to say something about it, he slipped the spoon between my lips with a smile. He was doing this on purpose! He had to be!

Was it some kind of punishment for making him deviate from his journey? For wasting so much of his time while he waited for me to heal enough to leave with him again? If that was the case, why hadn't he just left without me? Or killed me outright if he worried I would tell someone about him?

Once I finished the first bite of food, he had another spoonful waiting for me, that same smile on his lips as he watched me sit there with my lips pressed together and a hand held out waiting for him to give me the bowl so I could feed myself.

"No, no, sweet Faith. Cicero was told you had suffered from blood loss and were weakened by it. Besides, Cicero doesn't mind helping Faith eat. This way he can make sure she eats all of her food. Including the carrots," the grin on his face became a little more forced looking as I shrank back a little.

_But I don't like-_

The spoon was between my lips again before I could finish what I was saying. Ugh, the texture of the carrots, softened from being cooked in the stew for who knows how long, had me almost gagging. If he had to give me carrots, they could at least be fresh and crisp, with a nice crunch to them. But cooked like this? They felt like mush as I chewed, although I barely even needed to do that much. All the taste had been leeched out of them into the broth, which had made the broth amazing but the carrots... less so.

_These carrots are so gross!_

The man frowned at me, his smile gone as he spoke. "And what is wrong with carrots? Hmm?"

_Nothing! Unless they are cooked! There is no flavor left in them like this! And the feel of them squishing in my mouth, ugh!_

"Oh, Cicero doubts it is as bad as you say. He thinks fussy Faith is just being picky and doesn't like carrots. Well, Cicero does and if Faith is going to be that spoiled about eating them, then Cicero will eat them instead," he grumbled at me before lifting a piece of carrot to his mouth.

I watched with wide eyes as he placed the spoon between his lips and pulled it back out, chewing for a second with a smile. The smile didn't last long.

"What have they done to it?! The carrot! They've killed it!" He wailed as he nearly dropped the bowl with his antics.

_I told you so! Cooked carrots are gross! Fresh is the best way to have carrots!_

"While Cicero will agree that the crunch of a fresh carrot is best, there are still ways to have them cooked that does not end up like... this blasphemous monstrosity. Cicero cannot make poor Faith eat a meal like this. If he wished to torture Faith, he would be much more upfront about it and not waste so many carrots to do so," he spoke with a nod as he stood and placed the spoon back into the bowl. "Cicero will be back soon with something better."

With a nod to me, he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Leaning back with a sigh, I wondered when I would be allowed to get up. I wasn't going to get any stronger by just laying here and my arms had been finished finally. Years of stitching patterns had helped me become quick with my needle, not taking anywhere near as long as I had when I'd just started making them.

Besides, as much as I wanted to start on my legs, I knew I needed to build my strength back up even more. My arms would be enough to hold me together until I could get to my legs. They would need to be enough. I needed to get out of here. If I didn't get out of here soon, it felt like I would never leave.

With that thought, I began pulling the blankets that covered me to the side, flipping them over as needed until they were nearly pushed off the bed. Looking down, I wished they had given me a pair of sleep pants instead of these things that stopped before they even reached my knees.

I barely held back the wince at the scars that trailed over my legs in random areas. The cuts from a few close calls back when I was just learning how different the city was from back in Bruma when it came to stealing. The burn down one side where a fire trap had gotten me before I could move out of the way.

With no patterns to hide the marks, my legs looked ugly to me. All but the faint scars left behind from some of the previous patterns I had created, tiny dots upon the skin from years of stitches that had made my legs something colorful and lovely to me.

Climbing slowly out of the bed, I gasped when my legs tried to give out on me before I could grab at the nightstand for support. Barely keeping my feet under me, I slowly straightened up again, taking a single step toward the wall as I placed a hand against it to steady myself. Slowly, I made my way along the wall, stopping often to rest. It took several minutes just to reach the fireplace before I finally stopped, carefully lowering myself until I sat in front of the dying fire and began adding more wood until it was big enough to start warming the room again. I didn't even notice the sound of the door open and close nearby.

"Faith shouldn't be out of bed yet. She needs to eat to get her strength back. She should also cover herself so she can keep warm. The last thing Faith needs to do is get sick on top of everything else that has happened," Cicero said as he placed a covered plate down on the nightstand, quickly grabbing one of the blankets barely hanging from the bed.

Coming over to where I sat, he began gently placing the blanket over me, lifting my legs with his gloved hands to tuck the edges underneath to protect me from the cold stone of the floor. Not once did he comment on the scars he must have seen, something I was unused to since even the healers would remark whenever I had to go to them instead of turning to a potion.

"There, that is better. Now for the food. Cicero has brought something he thinks sweet Faith will enjoy far more than what those men tried to call stew. Cicero is sorry it took so long to get it, but he thinks Faith will find it worth the wait," he said as he went back and grabbed the plate before returning and sitting beside me.

I could already tell he was determined to feed me, yet again. He was definitely punishing me. Or so I thought until he lifted the covering to reveal a meal I hadn't thought to ever see in Skyrim. Delicately cooked rabbit sat beside a helping of seasoned potatoes cut into bite-sized pieces, although the cooked carrots next to them had me sigh.

_More carrots? Really?_

"Cicero thinks you will like these ones," was all he said before setting the plate in his lap and grabbing the knife and fork laying beside the rabbit.

Moments later, I begrudgingly found myself agreeing, the seasonings bringing out the sweetness of the carrots.


	23. Chapter 23

It took a full three days to convince him that I was able to walk on my own, even if I did have to take slow steps at first. The Jester Assassin divided his time between me and his mother, something I did not begrudge him of since it had been clear for some time that she meant the world to him.

I had been at this place for a week and today had been the first time I was allowed outside the room I'd woken up in. Honestly, for the first few hours I wished I hadn't bothered, the sight of a familiar pair of brothers having given me a sinking feeling that didn't go away until the shorter of the two finally left with a female for what seemed to be a job of some sort.

I still had no idea how he managed to talk these people into letting us stay here. I could only hope they never realized they had not just a thief, which was causing enough glares just on the suspicion that I was such a thing, but also an actual assassin in their midst. Just imagining their reactions had me breaking into a nervous sweat, but the Jester _Assassin _just grinned knowingly at me and sauntered about the place, grabbing a sweet roll from the table and taking a bite while everyone nearby glared at him.

It wasn't until after midday had passed that things seemed to get a bit better, having been lead outside to the courtyard behind the building as Cicero proceeded to grab a bow and a single arrow before barely taking the time to aim and still managing to hit the target dead center. Turning to look at me, he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Does pretty Faith know how to use a bow? If so, she might want to practice for a while since it will not strain her as much as training with her blade. And if not, then Cicero wouldn't be against teaching her, since it is a useful skill to have in the Family," he nearly sang the words as he began walking toward me, grabbing a handful of arrows as he passed the table again.

_Wait a second, what do you mean by that? I'm not part of your family, Cicero. I don't even know who your family is or anything about them. You wouldn't tell me anything, remember? So why would I suddenly need to learn how to use a bow? I'm a thief, not an assassin._

After subtly looking around to make sure nobody had snuck into the area, he gave a wicked smile and leaned over me where I sat. I'd never imagined a jester could look so intimidating before, but he managed to do so without even seeming to try.

"Ahh, but interesting Faith has already proven that she could be one if she wanted to. After all, she is already the puppet to one, yes? After she proved willing to protect Mother, Cicero started thinking while he waited for Faith to heal. And then he found Faith's special book. That is when Cicero decided he would... allow Faith to become part of his Family. If she wants to, that is?" Although he had started off sounding confident, he still ended up seeming unsure by the end, his eyes peering into mine as he leaned his forehead against mine in what was becoming a familiar action.

Bringing a hand up to run through his hair a few times before resting on his shoulder and pushing him back just enough he could see my lips, I stared into his eyes and nearly lost myself for a time before being jolted back to reality by the slow blink he gave me.

_I... I don't know if I would fit in with your family. I mean, I'm a thief, I steal things. I don't know if I could kill people just because someone told me to. I mean, it was different with Loreius. He was a horrible man and he deserved it! He was willing to let you get cold and sick and maybe even die while he went home to a warm meal and a loving wife to take care of him! He made me so mad, I couldn't even think straight! And then I grabbed the farm tools from his hands and I could hear Ellery cackling and Amicus was whispering how to swing them... And then I was walking down the hill with the tools and you were there waiting, still healthy and you weren't afraid of the blood that was still on me._

The man gave a shrug before laughing softly as he patted me on the head.

"Interesting Faith should know by now that Cicero is used to such sights and wouldn't be afraid of them. But he does find it rather fitting that she used the man's own tools to do the job, yes, yes! Cicero thinks that Faith should ask Amicus to teach her more about his work if he is able to. Otherwise, Cicero is willing to teach her anything Amicus is unable or unwilling to? If she is interested, of course," the man spoke, his voice dropping low as the door behind me could be heard opening as someone came out of the building.

"Ah, there you are! Practicing with the bow, I see. So, who is the teacher and who the student?" One of the men called out curiously as I heard him walk towards us.

_I am the student, right Cicero? After all, if I am to stay with you and your family, I have much to learn._

Nodding to the smiling Jester Assassin, I grabbed the bow and one of the arrows, pulling the string back as I aimed. I was proud that my arms only trembled a bit from the strain, although I could feel the stitches grow tight as my muscles flexed in ways they were unused to. Sadly, when I released the arrow, it flew to the side and hit the wall, snapping in half.

Cicero's shoulders slumped as he looked at the broken arrow before turning to me with a strained chuckle. "Cicero sees that Faith has much to learn before she is ready to use a bow outside of practice, yes. Luckily, there is still time to do so before she is strong enough to start practicing with her dagger. Let alone ready for us to leave on our journey again. It is a good thing Cicero is no longer in such a hurry to meet with his Family. No, Cicero thinks his sweet Mother would understand why he takes his time now. After all, it is not very often that such an interesting person comes into the Family."

And it hit me at that moment that this was how I would join his family. I would have a family again, even if not one by blood but by choice.

_"Aren't those the best kind to be part of?"_ Came that familiar whisper from behind me, warm breath brushing over my ear.


	24. Chapter 24

Another four days of almost constant training with the bow before I was strong enough to both draw the string back properly and finally hit the target. Not the center like the Jester Assassin could, but at least it wasn't either hitting the wall or, even more embarrassingly, falling short and landing on the ground like I had tried to throw it by hand. When that happened, I turned red quickly from the combined laughter of not just the two jesters in my life these days, but also the laughter of anyone nearby who was watching that day.

On the fifth day, instead of handing me the bow, Cicero walked over with a pair of training daggers in his hands and a smirk on his face.

"Cicero is curious to see if Faith remembers how to dance with a blade now that she is strong enough to begin training with one again. But don't worry, Cicero will hold back. He understands Faith might not be as quick as she used to be," the laughter filling his voice as he spoke would have had me seething if it had been anyone else but him, knowing he was only being playful.

He might be training me as an assassin, but the man was still a jester as well and it was their duty to poke and prod at a person's weak points. How else was a person to realize what they needed to correct, to work on, to improve? Even if it might not be the most enjoyable way to find out about them and far too many took offense to a jester's whims. It was only a true fool who failed to listen and learn and no matter how much I hated the Emperor, even he had a jester in his court to tell him of his shortcomings, many as they were.

Taking one of the daggers from the man before me, I gave a few practice swings and lunges to test its weight and feel in my hand. It was very well-made for a practice blade, better crafted than even my new dagger was, although not quite up to what my old one had been. Ahh, how I missed that blade, having grown to like the feel of it in my grip as I fought off both bandit and predator alike. After facing the dragon and losing it during my escape, I'd been forced to rely on sneaking past enemies.

Suddenly, without even giving a warning, the Jester Assassin was lunging at me with his own practice blade and I could feel Amicus grabbing my wrists and pulling me into a dance that I had a feeling would become very familiar over the next several days. I had no doubt that Cicero would keep the training going even after we finally left this place. The smile on his face was too sharp to expect otherwise. His wild laughter made it clear that he was enjoying himself the whole time.

It felt like we danced for hours, darting about before lunging at any openings we saw, spinning and ducking to avoid what would be potentially lethal attacks in a real fight. If the blades had been sharp, we both would have had several cuts to tend just within the first several minutes. By the time he finally allowed me to stop my part of the dance, I could feel my lungs burning and my limbs tremble from exhaustion. And yet, when I looked up at him from where I had collapsed to the ground as my legs gave out just like during our first dance, I couldn't hold back an excited grin at the satisfied look on his face.

"Cicero sees Faith and Amicus still remember how to dance with Cicero. He looks forward to seeing them dance with him once Faith is fully recovered, but even more, Cicero can't wait to see how Faith dances against her prey. It will truly be a sight for Cicero to behold," he said quietly before giving a bloodthirsty grin as he stood with his back to the watching Companions.

I knew what kind of prey he spoke of and as much as I disliked the thought of killing people simply because someone else demanded it, I felt my heart begin to race at the way the Jester Assassin's eyes looked at that moment. I could almost drown in those honey-brown depths, unable to look away from them as I felt myself grow still. I doubt I even drew a breath until he looked away when one of the men that had taken to watching us began speaking to him.

"I haven't seen anyone wield a dagger quite like that before! Where did you learn to fight like that? I have to say, you both move so fast, it about makes up for how short you are! Just imagine what you could do if you had a longer reach! That would be terrifying, indeed," the man spoke loudly, laughter filling his voice as he drew near.

Pushing myself to my feet, I turn shakily and glared at the man who had continued to walk closer. Between one step and the next, he found himself stopped as I pressed the practice dagger against his neck.

_Being tall isn't everything. Speed will get you places quicker than having long arms or legs can. Besides, people rarely bother paying attention to those who are shorter than them. Let alone bother to remember them unless they do something memorable in front of them. And even then, they tend to remember the person simply as 'short' and forget most everything else about them by the time the guards have arrived to question them._

I pulled the dagger away as I stepped back, the laughter of more than just Ellery and Cicero leaving me a bit surprised as I would have thought the man's friends would have been upset. Instead, they laughed at the man as his face turned red before he shook his head and broke into a grin.

"I have no idea what you were saying there, but I know when to accept a point being proven. No, you obviously don't need to be any taller to take down an enemy. In fact, the thought of you having any more reach to add to your speed is downright terrifying, little one. You just stay the height you are, because that is plenty scary enough," he chuckled as he spoke before turning to the small group behind him. "Could you imagine if she was one of us? She'd be the stuff of nightmares. Both of them, in fact, cause he's even quicker. Nice enough to hold back some during the fight, though."

"Oh, Cicero had to hold back. He doesn't want to hurt Faith when she's finally healed enough to practice her deadly dance. He looks forward to when she is ready for Cicero to really go all out, though. He has a feeling it will be quite the sight to see, for any that have the pleasure to watch," the Jester Assassin spoke as he walked up to where I stood, his arm coming up to wrap around my trembling body.

I'd pushed myself hard to move like that when I was already exhausted from practice, but I couldn't stand someone looking down on not just me but also Cicero. The Jester Assassin was so much more than any of these people thought he was, better than any of them and skilled enough to hide it from them. They'd seen how fast he was willing to show him, but I already knew he was far faster than they could ever understand. And even I hadn't seen him at his quickest.

For some reason, the mere thought of ever seeing him go all out in a fight was not nearly as frightening as it was... exciting.


	25. Chapter 25

It had been nearly a month of staying with the Companions, wondering when my Jester Assassin would finally push out welcome here to its limits, before we finally left early in the morning. Why would they let us stay for so long without more than the occasional glare? And even those had vanished over the weeks, turning into the kind of looks you would see from older siblings to the younger family members.

I honestly still had no idea what he had done to get them to let us stay so long, nobody there willing to do anything other than giving a shake of their head and a quick glance at the brothers when I handed them the note with my question upon it. As for asking them, all the shorter one did was grumble and walk off, the taller patting me on the head before following his brother.

Even their 'not' leader would do no more than smile at me as he passed the note back and tell me not to worry as long as I got better. And by the time we were leaving, he'd moved on to simply say I should just enjoy being young and healthy, free to go wherever the roads would take me. I had a feeling that I would miss this Harbinger more than the rest. More than I wanted to miss someone I hadn't claimed as my own...

As Cicero began to steer the wagon through the gates, I felt a tension leave my body that I hadn't even known was there. Weeks of pretending to be something other than the thief I was or the assassin I was training to become had been far more straining than I had realized.

But still, I couldn't say it had been a bad time. I had gotten to learn about the Family I would be joining, finally realizing that it was much more than just a group of assassins. Much more than just a family. And the Jester Assassin's mother, his Mother! Oh, she was so much more than I had realized, a being that spoke to a chosen individual! The treasure that Cicero sought for her even now, who he hoped to find here in Skyrim, even if he couldn't tell me how he would know the person when he found them. It could be anyone and only he knew how to tell when the time came!

Even though I had yet to truly join his Family, I had grown excited as I learned more and more about them! Of course, the cautious way he spoke of those who awaited us at the Sanctuary he was taking us to had me feeling a bit nervous, but the thought that I could have a place to call home... I could only hope that these people would accept me among them. Even if just to stay beside this man I had come to call my dearest friend.

* * *

_Cicero? Cicero, I can't feel my backside anymore... How can you sit so still on this wagon and not get sore? It was bad enough the first time, but now? After finally gaining my freedom of movement again? I can't do it, I just can't sit here any longer! I need to move. I need to run. I need to feel my ass!_

"Oh, is Faith too full of energy to remain still any longer? Cicero knows how to deal with that, yes he does! Energy to walk means energy to stalk! Perhaps sneaky Faith can find us something besides traveling rations to eat, yes? Cicero is certain she can slip up on something that would make a decent meal for two. He will even be kind enough to clean the kill if Faith is successful in her hunt," the Jester Assassin spoke, a grin on his face that grew playfully flirtatious moments later. "Or maybe pretty Faith is hoping that Cicero will help return feeling to her backside in another manner?"

The way he moved his hands in front of him had my face turning red as my jaw dropped at the lewd gesture he made.

_No! No, no, no! I do not want you to- to... No! I'll go hunt, but you better hold to your promise to clean the kill!_

Jumping from the moving wagon, I stormed off into the trees in search of something that would not just feed us but leave the Jester Assassin regretting his promise to take care of cleaning it up in preparation for cooking. The bigger, the better. Because bigger meant more mess.

Even as I began stalking through the forest, I was silently laughing.

* * *

I'd forgotten one important detail while I was hunting... I would have to get it back to the road and meet up with the wagon somehow. By the time I'd killed the thing, managed to drag it to the road, and found the point where Cicero had decided to make camp, the sun had begun to sink in the sky and the shadows were growing long across the ground.

Luckily, he'd been amused enough by how messy I had gotten during my hunt and later search for him that he agreed to help drag the deer from where I had left it to the campsite. We barely made it in time to fight off the wolf that thought it was in for a free meal. Not that I had anything against getting a nice warm pelt to add to the bedrolls, remembering how cold some parts of Skyrim could get. Who knew where we might end up traveling in the future since assassins had to go where the contracts took them.

_Cicero, do you go on contracts often? If Mother has yet to choose a Listener, how do you find out about contracts? How far away do contracts usually take you?_

"Cicero is not allowed to take contracts as Keeper. He has not had a contract of his own in several years... He misses the thrill of the hunt, but Mother needs him and she is far more important than Cicero's own desires. As for the other questions, Cicero is not sure how the Family has been getting contracts. He would rather not think about what they must be doing without Mother to guide them, blasphemous as they have surely become. He is not even really sure if they can truly be called Family, but Cicero does not have much choice, as a Listener must be found! How can the Family become what it should be without a Listener to bring us Mother's words, her guidance?" Seeing how frantic he was becoming with each word as we dragged the deer behind us, I dropped the body and pulled him to a stop, wrapping my arms around him and just holding him before pulling back just enough to look up at him.

_Shhh, it's okay my Jester Assassin. We will find this Listener of Mother's. I won't let you do this alone, I promise. Even if we do not find her Listener at this Sanctuary, even if we must travel elsewhere to find the person, I will stay beside you for as long as you will let me._

Leaning forward, I pulled him down just enough to press my forehead against his, one hand running up and down his back until I felt his own arms wrap around me. Slowly closing my eyes, I mouthed one last sentence while he was unable to see my lips.

_I would follow you to Oblivion and back if that would allow me to stay beside you, my dearest friend... my treasure._


	26. Chapter 26

Once he had calmed down and we finished dragging the deer carcass to the camp, my Jester Assassin made good on his promise to clean the kill. Of course, by this point, I had found myself offering to assist him in whatever way I could. Or should I say, in whatever way he would allow me to... He barely let me help with anything and I had felt almost lucky when he asked me to assist with placing some of the meat on skewers around the fire for cooking. It wasn't until he was looking at the remaining meat with a frown on his face that I found a chance to really feel useful.

_It was a good hunt and there should be enough meat to last us the whole trip and likely have plenty left over to give to the Family once we arrive, as long as we are not wasteful. Are you worried they might not like deer meat? If they don't, then it simply means more for us, right?_

"Actually, Cicero is wondering how to make this much meat last the whole trip without spoiling. It might not get as hot here as it does in Cyrodiil, but it is still warm enough that it could turn from the heat. Especially as we head further south towards the warmer lands. Plus we need to worry about what the smell will attract. Cicero worries it might not be worth trying to take this much with us, but at the same time does not want to waste Faith's hard work during her hunt," he spoke slowly, concern filling his voice as he looked between the meat, the wagon, and myself.

I stood there blinking for a moment, surprised that his concern was over something so easily dealt with. The next moment, I was bent over in silent laughter, my arms curling around myself as I felt my eyes begin to water. An offended shout came from Cicero as I lost myself to the humor I found in his worries. Several minutes later, when I had finally caught my breath and the Jester Assassin had wandered over to check on the meat cooking slowly over the fire, I wandered over to him with a smile on my face.

_Cicero... My friend, do you really think I would hunt something so large if I didn't know how to make the extra meat last? I may not know the spell to provide light and I might not be that good at spell magic in general, but I do know a few spells. I just don't like using magic in a fight because if it doesn't work, then it could cost my life if I was relying on it. I would rather use magic for stuff that if the spell fails, and it often does, I can just cast it again without worry._

I walked over to where he had placed the various cuts of meat, some large pieces we would likely not be using during the trip and other smaller cuts for daily meals. I wrapped the larger cuts together inside the cleaned deer hide, holding it closed as I concentrated on the faint feeling of magicka I could sense hidden deep inside.

Pulling gently upon the shifting force within, I let my thoughts focus on cold... snow, ice, frost, everything that reminded me of the chill of the freeze spell when I cast it, I pulled it in and then pushed it down at the pelt. It took a few tries, but the spell finally held long enough to put coat the hide and everything inside in a layer of ice. Of course, by this point, my fingers were turning numb from trying to force the cold magic through them.

_I need to take a break before I can cast on the other meat, even if it will only get a frost of ice rather than a full freeze. Sorry, I'm not really that good at this kind of stuff. And I haven't really practiced any magic in a while, so that doesn't help. I got too used to just hunting little things like rabbits and birds since it was hard to carry a lot of meat when on my own. I was already weighed down too much to carry a lot of other stuff, even if it was basically free food. Easier to carry a little and supplement with small game and foragable foods._

I moved over to the fire and held my hands out towards the warm flames, frowning at myself for being so out of practice. I'd ignored the little skills I had as I focused on sewing and thieving skills, as well as the time I put towards keeping my dagger sharp and swift. I dreaded to think how much my other skills had sunk.

"Cicero didn't realize pretty Faith knew any spells. What other spells does she know? And perhaps she could tell him what other skills she is hiding that might be useful? Cicero would like to know what he has to work with, in and out of fights," he said as he wrapped a thick cloth around the frozen bundle of hide and meat, lifting it carefully into the back of the wagon and securing it into place.

_It has been a while since I really thought of my other skills. I'm not sure if I could even remember them all at this point..._

"Well, tell Cicero what you can remember for now and just let me know when you remember something else," he spoke before letting out a sigh, patting me on the head as he walked past to check the food again.

_"Don't tell him about the stitches. You don't want him to treat you like the others do when they see them, do you? Remember what happened with the old Breton when he saw?"_ I could hear Amicus whisper from behind me, causing me to turn my head.

_But he knows, doesn't he? Surely..._

_"No, he never really saw them. He likely misunderstood what you said. Remember, he told you to go to a priest, a healer to get them fixed? No, he doesn't know and if you tell him... No, just tell him you sew. You can even show him what you are working on-"_ Amicus began, only to be interrupted by a shout from Ellery.

_"No! The cap is for me, not him! He has a cap of his own! He doesn't need to see mine!"_ Ellery came out from behind the wagon, a scowl on his face as he yelled.

_"But he might want to see proof and we can't let him see her stitches, you know that,"_ Amicus whispered to the Jester as my head turned from watching Ellery storm around the camp to tilting to hear Amicus from behind me.

"Faith? What is wrong?" I jumped a little when I felt the Jester Assassin's hand touch my shoulder, his velvet glove brushing against my skin as he began to pull away.

Quickly reaching up to grab his hand, I gave it a small squeeze before looking up at him.

_They are arguing about what I should tell you and what should be kept to ourselves for now. We all worry because... not everyone accepts me the way I am..._

I looked down as I felt the Jester Assassin shift and move to stand beside me. I didn't want to lose this friendship that was already so fragile and had only recently been gained, but I also didn't want to hide anything that might cost his friendship and his trust later on, perhaps in a manner that it could never be regained.

"If Faith does not want to tell Cicero something... if she is not ready to tell him yet, then Cicero can wait. As long as sweet Faith promises to tell him eventually, then Cicero will wait to know about that which worries her so," he said with a smile on his face, his hand giving mine another squeeze before turning to the skewers of meat. "Oh, Cicero thinks the food is ready! After we eat, Faith can show Cicero her magic again on the rest of the meat for the trip? Cicero is curious how she took a spell most use for combat and used it for food storage instead. He'd only heard rumor of some people using frost salts, but those are expensive to get ahold of, and it isn't like he can just leave Mother behind to go get his own. Even if he would enjoy the hunting and killing it would involve."

_I promise Cicero, someday I will tell you everything. Just... not yet._


	27. Chapter 27

It felt like we had only just left Whiterun and yet we had left days ago, the wagon slowly making its way further eastward with every passing hour. The more distance we traveled, the thicker the trees seemed to become as we made our way along the dirt road. Each day, my Jester Assassin and I took time to practice our dance of death together and I could feel my speed and agility increasing.

Although, I began to doubt I would ever reach his skill since he had yet to go all out against me. No, he still held back in our dances and each time it left me yearning to see him at his best, his most deadly. Seeing him even when he was holding back against me in practice left me nearly as breathless as the fight itself often did, the grace and skill he showed so easily captivating to me in ways I had never thought a fight could be.

Still, each day we slowly came closer to reaching the Sanctuary my friend had commented upon so many times of late, even if he still did not tell me the actual location. Even after this long together, he still had moments where he seemed wary of me, but it was not the same distrust as before. No, now it seemed almost as if he was afraid I would leave him behind if I knew where to go.

How silly of him, as if I would leave my dearest friend just to meet people that likely couldn't even hold a candle to him. No, Cicero was truly one of a kind. I could tell, he was something special in this boring world we lived in and I wouldn't trade him for anything, just as I wouldn't trade Ellery and Amicus.

No, these three men were far too important to me for me to just give even one of them up. Far more so than some group of strangers that had even my Jester Assassin speaking cautiously of them, of the potential forsaking of our Mother and the betrayal of the Old Ways. No, even for a dozen potential treasures I would never give up a treasure like the ones I already had.

"Silent Faith has been making interesting faces for a while now. Does she want to tell Cicero what she has been thinking of? Or should he start guessing and see if he can figure it out?" Came the Jester Assassin's playful voice as he nudged me from his place on the wagon's seat.

Grinning, I nudged him back and shook my head.

_Just thinking about all the time we have spent together and wishing it could last longer before we make it to the Sanctuary. I feel like this part of the trip is going too fast after spending so much time in Whiterun. I enjoyed the time there, all the time we got to spend together without worrying about where we were going. It was... nice. I didn't even realize how much I was enjoying it until we were already gone._

"Oh. Cicero didn't expect that answer, but he also enjoyed the time spent there, not having to worry about what waited for him down the road. Literally! Oh, but now it waits for both of us and not just Cicero. Cicero will make sure that Faith is welcomed into the Family, just as they shall welcome him!" Turning his head away, he muttered another phrase before turning back with a forced smile. "Faith shall not be unwelcome, even if Cicero must have words with them about it."

_Sweet Cicero, as long as you welcome me, Ellery, and Amicus to be by your side, that is enough for me. That is all I need to be happy, my dear friend. Just let us stay beside you, wherever you go._

"Always, dearest Faith. For as long as Mother allows it."

I could almost tell how close we were getting by how much more time Cicero took each time we stopped to have a break. He would spend extra time setting up camp each night, even if we were not tired enough to sleep and instead spent the time chatting while I worked on a new cap for Ellery. Afterward, he would take extra time breaking the site down, checking each bedroll for tears needing repair and making sure I had a chance to renew the frost spells on the different bundles of meat, even as the one slowly grew smaller.

I found it taking less effort to cast the spell, fewer attempts needed before the ice would form around the bundles and my fingers less often feeling numb afterward. It made it easier to fight off the undercurrent of worry I always had that someday I would cast the spell so badly that I would freeze my fingers instead of my target. I doubted I would ever fully lose that worry, however, since it was built upon a lifetime of worry and fear.

Still, by the time we were turning away from the lake to take the south branch of the road, I found myself noticing the Jester Assassin fidgeting nearly as much as I was. I would catch him tugging at his hair or the tails of his cap almost as often as I pulled on the loose threads of my shirts or tracing patterns upon my leggings.

Patterns that I would stitch quietly each night as the Jester Assassin slept while Amicus and Ellery helped me keep watch during our turn. It took longer than usual to stitch my patterns, with how limited time had been since Cicero began training me, as well as my efforts to keep it hidden from him during our travels. Still, I was finally able to nearly complete them, just having a few areas left that needed to be filled in to finish the new design.

_Ellery has been kind in allowing me to start his cap before I was finished with the patterns! He must have forgiven me for allowing the last ones to be ruined in the first dance with Cicero! I wonder if he's starting to like Cicero as well, Amicus. After all, they are both Jesters. It wouldn't make sense to dislike each other. What reason could Ellery have for disliking our Cicero?_

_"Yes, what reason..."_


	28. Chapter 28

_Cicero... What is that?_

I mouthed the words as I stared at the black door before me, a large skull above smaller skulls and a skeleton embossed upon its surface, with what appeared to be a bloody handprint dead center upon the forehead of the skull.

I hadn't expected us to turn off the road into the forest around us, but seeing this made me almost wish we had kept going. All I could do, however, is trust this man who had become so important to me in hardly more than a month.

_Has it really only been that long since we met? It felt like I have known him for far longer... Maybe more than that has passed and I just don't realize it? Amicus, how long has it been since I met my dear friend? Has it truly been more than one month but less than two? Or have several months gone by and I've lost them again?_

"Sweet Faith, it has been less than two months but more than one. You have not lost any time as far as Cicero can tell. Don't worry, Cicero won't let you become further lost than you already are, but he would suggest maybe you should keep a journal to help keep track of the time you spend?" The familiar lilting voice came as the Jester Assassin danced up to the door and placed a hand upon it before leaning close and whispering a few words that I couldn't make out.

I'd tried keeping a journal once, back when I first noticed time was slipping past me, but when it became clear how much time was passing by without my notice, I had begun to panic. When I next went to write in the journal, dreading how much time I had missed since the last entry, it was missing and Ellery and Amicus had told me they destroyed the thing. They had said it was only causing me pain and had failed to do its purpose in helping me keep track of time.

_Perhaps... Perhaps I could try again, just one more time and see what comes of it?_

_"Yes, this time it might be good to write your days down in a journal,"_ Amicus whispered softly into my ear, his hands resting upon my shoulders for a moment before he pulled away.

When the door suddenly swung open before the Jester Assassin, I took a step back in shock, a chill passing over me. It was only the smile he gave me as he turned towards me and held out a hand that let me begin slowly moving forward instead of running from the feeling of dread that began filling me with each step I took. The feeling didn't vanish until I stepped through the door and into the small entry that stood just inside, leading to a staircase heading further into the depths.

"Welcome home, my dear Faith, to Falkreath Sanctuary."

* * *

I stood half-hidden behind my Jester Assassin as the rest of the "family" formed a half-circle in front of him, random comments filling the room and leaving me questioning why some of these people seemed more upset with Cicero's appearance than my own. Tapping the man on the back, I waited until he turned his head to look at me before pointing questioningly up at the beautiful stained glass window.

"Oh, does quiet Faith wish to see where Mother will be staying? Cicero is certain nobody here would mind if Faith goes to take a peek while he finishes talking to the Family," the Jester Assassin said, having held up a hand to quiet the others in the room.

_Thanks, Cicero. I won't take too long! I just want to get a closer peek at the window and maybe look around a little bit._

Giving the man a quick hug, I ran over to the stairs and up into the quiet rooms that lay through the doorway. Dashing inside the first room I came to, I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, my hand coming to rest on my heart. Even if I had gotten used to being around people while in the Companion's home, I couldn't help but feel nervous that somehow these people, our Family, would look at me with those eyes that seemingly judged even Cicero so harshly and find me... lacking.

I gave a sad sigh and lifted my head, finally peering around me before heading to the right, towards where the room with the stained glass window had to be. It only took a little while to find the large metal door that led into what seemed almost like a chapel, stone benches set before a raised area, and just beyond the benches... the window.

Light streamed through the glass, bathing part of the room in red, almost like someone had spilled blood across the floor. As morbid as it seemed, it was still beautiful, almost painfully so. I was so pulled into admiring the sight, I almost missed the shouting that began coming from down below. With a jolt, I looked at the window one last time before turning and bolting from the room to race back downstairs.

I'd only just made it to the bottom of the stairway when I heard Cicero mention 'punishment', running forward to get between him and the giant of a man, a Nord if ever there was one. I almost flinched when I felt the glare of the other man drilling into my back as I faced my Jester Assassin, eyes wide and practically begging to know what was going on.

"Keep talking, little man, and we'll see who gets 'punished.'"

It was the large Nord, his voice almost growling out from behind me and I couldn't hide the flinch this time as I turned to look up at him. And up some more, noticing again how huge he was compared to me. I trembled as I faced him, keeping my Jester Assassin behind me as if somehow I could protect Cicero from this giant of a man simply by will alone.

Oh, but I felt such the fool when he reached out a hand and I flinched back against the Jester Assassin's chest, eyes closing tight as I waited for a blow to come. And yet, I heard no laughter, not even from Ellery. Instead, there was silence but for the soft mumbling of the Jester Assassin as I felt his gloved hands pull me into a hug from behind.

"Shh, it's okay. Nobody here will hurt kind Faith. No, Faith has nothing to fear from her Brothers and Sisters. The mutt just likes to growl, but he won't bite. At least, not sweet Faith," he spoke softly in that ever lilting voice of his, only stopping when I turned to pull him into a hug.

Finally, after pulling away again, I turned slowly and peeked up at the still far too tall man before taking a deep breath and stepping toward him.

_I'm sorry I thought, even for a moment, that you would hit me. I shouldn't think so poorly of those I wish to call my Family._

Staring at the man as his face went from angry to confused and back to angry, I waited to hear one of the usual comments that always came after I 'spoke' to someone. It didn't matter if he understood me, not anymore. Cicero understood what I said to him and for now... that was enough.

"She said she's sorry she thought you would hit her and she'll think better of the family next time. Well... close enough, right?" A young girl spoke in an almost bored tone, shrugging when I turned my eyes to her.

"Oh! Faith has someone else she can talk to now, instead of just Cicero. How... wonderful," the Jester Assassin's voice let anyone listening know just how 'wonderful' he thought it was.

In fact, he almost sounded... upset that I had someone else to talk to.

_"Perhaps he enjoyed having your undivided attention and worries you will stop spending time with him now that someone else is here to talk to,"_ whispered Amicus.

_That's silly, Amicus. Why in the world would I stop spending time with my dearest friend? Even if everyone in Nirn could understand my words, I would still spend my days with my kind Jester Assassin._

"Who is Amicus?"


	29. Chapter 29

The voice hadn't come from the girl before me like I would have expected. Instead, it was a young Imperial male standing just a bit behind the rest of the group, near to where Astrid stood. Just how many of these assassins knew how to read lips? I was starting to feel like I had lost a sense of privacy I'd never really understood I had until now. Bringing my hands up to cover my mouth, I stepped back until I was partially hidden behind Cicero, leaning forward and turning my head until only he could see my lips.

_Cicero, who is that? I don't like so many people knowing what I'm saying. It feels... different than when I talk to you. How many of them can read my lips? I don't like it!_

"Actually, Cicero didn't really expect anyone else to know how to read lips. Not something he is very proud to admit since it shows a lack of thought on his part. As for the other matter, Cicero hasn't been introduced to the young stranger. He thought everyone was already here. After all, he was only told of seven Family members?" His voice rose in a questioning tone as he turned his head to look at Astrid, one eyebrow raised.

"Ah, yes! This is the newest member of our little family. He only joined recently, so would not have been mentioned in the last letter, but since you brought your own unexpected guest... I think we were both unprepared for what we found? In the meantime," she looked at the man as she waved a hand lazily in our direction. "Well, go ahead. Introduce yourself."

"Ah, yeah... Um, you can call me Destin," the young man mumbled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly as he looked everywhere but at the two of us.

_"Is he even old enough to be here? He barely looks old enough to shave, let alone kill someone," _came Ellery's voice from near the pool of water, causing me to nod at his words.

_Ellery is right, the boy barely looks old enough to have left home on his own. How did he end up here of all places?_

"Ahh, but Cicero was rather young when he made his first kill. He would be rather foolish to remark upon someone else's age within the Family," he said as he smiled at me.

_Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't realize..._

"No worries, sweet Faith! Cicero doubts she can tell how long someone has been in the Family and it likely doesn't help that most people can't tell how old poor Cicero even is," He chuckled as he turned further towards me, his hands moving to his hips as his lips turned up into a playful grin.

Lowering my hands, I peered closely at the Jester Assassin before me, taking in each feature of his face, the hint of wrinkles in the corners of his eyes from smiling so much, the laugh lines around his mouth. Eventually, I reached out and ran his hair slowly between my fingers to take in the texture, closing my eyes as I tilted my head and tried to put it all together.

_I can see why people would have a hard time and I'm sure it hasn't gotten any easier with the passing of time. Some things about you seem to point at youth, but other things hint at an age you might or might not actually possess. I would guess... maybe in your mid-thirties?_

I slowly opened my eyes, looking at the man to see what his reaction was. If I guessed too old, he might get upset that he looked older than he was. But if I guessed too young, he might think me trying to suck up to him, even though I had no reason to. That or he would think me to be flirting with him.

"Not a bad guess! Cicero will have to remember that one, even if it is a little bit vague! Still, a far better guess than most have made!" The man patted me on the back as he turned me around to face 'Destin' before he wrapped one arm around my shoulders and used the other to wave from me to the man and back. "And this, as Cicero is sure you have caught on to, is the ever-lovely Faith, another recent addition to the Family! Please do make sure to help make her feel welcome in the coming days!"

Turning my head back to the Jester Assassin, I tapped him on the arm to get his attention.

_Cicero, you didn't say how old you actually are._

"And Cicero has no intention to! How is he to have fun if he tells everyone his secrets!" With a quick dance away from me, he turned to the large box containing Mother and moved toward her to see to his duties.

"Well, that didn't go as I'd expected, but it could have gone worse. I'm sure everyone will welcome you both with the respect you each deserve, especially the position of Keeper. As long as you both remember who is the leader of this Sanctuary. Faith, after you have gotten yourself situated, I would like for you and Babette to come find me. She can translate for you while we discuss your... place within the family," Astrid spoke clearly before turning and walking back up the stairs toward the entrance.

"Of course! Of course! We both know who the real leader is, don't we sweet Faith?" Cicero called out cheerfully, although I have a feeling that few, if any, besides myself could hear the undertone that nearly screamed how he knew it was not this pretend leader.

How could a family be so disrespectful to the Mother who had taken care of them all this time? Who now needed them to care for her in turn? Was this Family less family than even Cicero had guessed at, had worried about, during our trip? And if that was the case, what could I do to help remind these straying 'siblings' of ours that no family is complete without a mother to love them and siblings to take care of. Making sure only Cicero could see my lips, I nodded my head at him while mouthing the words my heart demanded I speak.

_Of course I know who our leader is. The leaders of any family are always the parents. The father protects and watches over the children while the mother guides them and provides as best she can. And as the children grow, they are meant to assist their parents as best they can. We will find a way to bring these stray children back to Mother's loving arms. Mother needs them as much as they need her, for what mother is complete without her children around her?_

I could feel my heart begin to ache as I spoke, wondering if my own mother had felt like this when I left, had wondered if I would ever return to her. And sometimes... sometimes I wonder if I would have returned if she hadn't vanished along with Bastian. My poor, sweet brother...

"Indeed."


	30. Chapter 30

"Umm, could I ask a few questions? If you don't mind, I mean," the young man asked as he walked up next to me, glancing at me before turning to Cicero.

"Well, Cicero guesses he could spare a moment for his new Brother. But only a moment! Cicero and Faith have much to do, getting Mother settled in and ourselves as well! And then kind Faith must speak with the... leader," Cicero almost managed to hide his frown as he glanced at me after having turned to face Destin.

He really didn't like Astrid, did he? Not that I could blame him. She seemed rather... controlling. And almost desperate to prove she was still the leader, not even realizing that the only reason she had ever had a Sanctuary to lead was because of Mother. Without Mother, the Brotherhood never would have lasted long enough for someone like Astrid to ever join, let alone become the leader of this little Family.

If she really cared about her Family, she would show Mother and Cicero both the respect they deserve and do what she could to help Mother regain her voice. Even if it was simply by allowing the Jester Assassin to do his duty freely, without having to worry about his siblings being disrespectful and breaking Tenets in his presence. It was bad enough that he knew they committed such blasphemous deeds, they could at least not shove it in his face!

"Faith? Has Cicero lost Faith to her thoughts again? Or is she ready to return to him and help get Mother up the stairs to her new home?" I felt fingers brush my cheek as the man leaned close to whisper the words into my ear.

Almost jumping away, my face burning hot from the blush that spread across my cheeks, I looked in shock at the smiling Jester Assassin. Taking a few deep breaths, I did my best to answer him without letting him know how much that smile was beginning to affect me, although still not as much as his eyes did.

_I- I'll help. Mother deserves to rest after such a long journey... Let's get her comfortable._

I turned and realized the young man, Destin, had already left. He must have already asked his questions while I'd been lost in thought. Looking around, I noticed me and Cicero were alone for the most part, even Ellery vanishing up the stairs leading to the rooms I had started exploring not too long ago. Only Amicus had stayed close, as he always did, placing a hand on my shoulder before whispering into my ear.

_"You might want to find out where Mother will be staying. Perhaps the room with the lovely window? It looks suitable for someone as important as she is,"_ he spoke quietly, leaving me blushing yet again at having not thought to ask such a simple question as I turned around to face the still smiling Cicero.

_Um... Is Mother going to stay in that room?_

I pointed up at the stained glass window that seemed to shimmer red in the low light that filled the main room we stood in.

"Only the best for Mother!"

* * *

_There's no door. Why isn't there a door?_

I had finished helping Cicero with what I was allowed to do, but he'd stayed behind so that he could care for her more properly, in the manner only a Keeper was allowed. I figured this must be something he'd done during the time we'd spent with the Companions and maybe a few times since then, like when he sent me off to gather wood or forage for as much food I could find. Of course, with how easily I lost track of time, I couldn't say if it happened once a week, twice a week, or just every other week.

Looking again at the entry to the Jester Assassin's room, still completely lacking a door, I turned around and looked up into Ellery's face.

_They don't even have a door here for privacy. I know Cicero won't complain to them about it, either. No, he's the kind to mutter about it in private and wait for them to do the right thing on their own. But I don't think they will, not this group._

Sighing, Ellery shrugged and walked past me into the room.

_"It's not that bad. At least it has a bed for one of you. Someone will need to find a bed of their own to bring in here, though,"_ he spoke, peering around before pointing up at the ceiling. _"Might want to get those holes fixed, too. Probably gets cold in here at night."_

_This isn't right... Someone has to know how to fix this!_

_"You might be asking for too much from people you only just met, Family or not,"_ Amicus whispered quietly, patting my head for a moment.

_I don't care! If I have to trade for help, then I will offer whatever I can in exchange. Cicero deserves better!_

_"You deserve better, too. Don't forget that you matter as well, and to more than just Ellery and I. You matter to Cicero. Don't let yourself get hurt trying to do this for him,"_ Amicus spoke the words so softly, it almost seemed like he wasn't sure he should say them.

But say them, he did, and it sent my world spinning. It was almost like I hadn't even realized it myself, that Cicero cared about me. Of course, I must have realized this somewhere along the way, but hearing it spoken out loud seemed to make it more... real.

_"You realize you are filthy from travel and would likely be refused assistance just based on how bad you smell?"_ Ellery spoke loudly, a smirk on his face before he burst into laughter.

Looking down at myself, I took in the dirt that covered both me and my clothing. Oh Aedra, Ellery was right. I was filthy! Sadly, there was no sign of a washtub anywhere in the room Not that I would use it without a door to provide privacy, but still!

Several minutes of searching the Sanctuary left me with the idea that either the washroom was behind one of the few locked doors I'd found... or the only water for bathing was the pool of water in the main room where we had met the Family. As soon as I made that realization, I could hear Ellery's laughter echoing off the walls as the waterfall poured down into the pool, my eyes wide as I stared from the bottom of the stairs.

_Well, they are bound to see at some point. Their opinions don't matter to me. But if Cicero sees... If Cicero sees... would he stop wanting to be my friend?_


	31. Chapter 31

"If he can't accept you as you are, sweet Faith, then can you truly count him as a treasure? Shouldn't your treasures be able to see who you are, the light and the dark within you, and care for you anyhow?" Amicus whispered slowly into my ear, his arms wrapping around me as I closed my eyes and just took a moment to absorb the warmth he was giving me.

I stood there for a while, my fingers plucking nervously at the frayed hem of my shirt, before nodding and pulling my pack off my back to rummage through as I pulled out what I needed.

_You're right, as always, dear Amicus. Even if he turns from me, even if it breaks me, at least you and Ellery will still be there to help put me back together again. You two are always there for me and at least that will never change, right?_

"We could never leave your side, no matter what happens," the two spoke together, Ellery sitting on the lone bed as Amicus stood behind me.

* * *

I could feel their eyes on me as I walked through the main chamber, could hear the whispers starting as the ones in the room began moving towards each other, but I was determined to ignore them. If this Family decided ultimately that they couldn't accept me as I was... then perhaps they were not the family I was meant to have.

But I couldn't help feel a small part of me hope that they would, that this family of assassins that Cicero called his own even if begrudgingly, could find it in themselves to look past the stitches and see me. That tiny part of me that was often hidden even from myself wanted them to see Faith, and somewhere hidden even deeper within, to see the Juniper I used to be and understand. Although, if asked, I couldn't really say what I wanted them to understand.

Setting the towel I had claimed as my own down far enough away to not get wet but near enough to grab easily when I was finished, I slowly lowered myself into the water and began washing several days of dirt off my body. I was careful not to pull on the stitches, the short sleeves of the ragged shirt and cut off leggings allowing them to show freely for the first time in years.

Before this, only the occasional priest and the old Breton Agrane had seen them, and even then rarely had anyone seen this much. Although, it was still not all of the stitches, the patterns on my sides and upper arms and legs still hidden from view by tattered cloth. Even so, I waited for the whispers to grow louder as they saw the colors begin to really show as dirt was washed away to reveal the bright threads I had used to create them.

_I hate the feel of their eyes on me, judging me as if they have the right._

"Of course they don't have the right to judge you. Only I have any right to that," Ellery spoke from nearby as he wandered about the room, peering and poking gently at various plants and items placed about the area.

Several minutes passed as I finally worked the last of the grime from my skin, ducking under to wet my hair so I could begin working the dirt and oil that had built up in the tangled black mess during the journey. The already small bar of soap had grown tiny by this point, reminding me that I would have to see if I could find a replacement that wasn't too expensive and didn't have a strong smell to it. It wouldn't do to be found sneaking around because they could smell me, after all.

It was as I rinsed the last of the soap from my hair and stepped out from under the waterfall that I noticed the Jester Assassin walk down the stairs and stop, staring at me as I froze in place, waiting to hear him make his judgment. And when he did, I could feel my eyes begin to burn with the tears that wanted to fall.

"What pretty art Faith has made. Why didn't she tell Cicero she could stitch so well?"

The trembling smile on my face couldn't even begin to show the man how much those words meant to me, something so casually spoken and yet two simple phrases that I would treasure nearly as much as I have come to treasure him.

_I was being foolish and worried that you wouldn't like my stitches._

"Silly Faith! Cicero and Ellery should be the only ones being foolish since they are the only Fools around!" It warmed my heart even more that he mentioned Ellery so easily, even though nobody else had ever bothered to remember the man besides myself.

Grabbing the towel from near Ellery's feet, I smiled up at my Jester and pointed to the Jester Assassin after wiping the tears from my eyes.

He remembered you, Ellery. He really is a one of a kind treasure! I was right. If anything ever happens to me, he will remember you for me. You won't be forgotten.

"Even if he does remember, it won't be the same. It could never be the same," Ellery spoke softly before getting up and walking away, vanishing up the stairs.

Feeling a gloved hand upon my shoulder as I wrapped the towel around myself, I turned to see my Jester Assassin looking at me curiously.

"Is sweet Faith okay? She looks worried," he said, pulling his hand back and wringing his hands for a moment before he forced them to still.

_Yes, I'm okay... It's just Ellery. He worries that if something ever happens to me, him and Amicus will be forgotten... You won't forget about them, will you Cicero? You'll remember them for me, right?_

"If Faith tells Cicero what she can about her two friends, then he promises he will do his best to remember everything about them for her. But he hopes that nothing will happen to sweet Faith and they can remember Ellery and Amicus together instead," he patted my head for a moment as he looked at me, his honey-brown eyes crinkling in the corners as he smiled gently at me. "Cicero would much rather share stories of friends with dear Faith. He has enough memories of those lost to want to add any more to the list of names only he remembers. Especially yours."

With one last look, he turned and walked back toward the stairs leading to the inner chambers and Mother's sanctuary within the Sanctuary.

"Cicero is tired. He will go check on Mother one last time and go to bed. He's had a long day and met many new faces. Cicero needs to rest so he can be ready for what tomorrow brings."

Even though he couldn't see my lips, I still mouthed the words at him that I had grown familiar with over the past weeks together.

_Sweetest dreams, my friend. May the morning bring a smile to you._


	32. Chapter 32

It was only as I watched him vanish up the stairs that I realized I had no bed to sleep in, as well as no idea if Cicero even wished to share the room he was given but I dreaded the idea of sharing a room with the other Family members after today. Even now I could feel their eyes on me, could hear the soft whispers as they spoke about me. However, after what my Jester Assassin had said... I couldn't find it in me to care even a bit about what they had to say or think, even if it didn't mean I wanted to be around the Family as I slept. Just those few simple words had made years of previous judgment seem to vanish.

There was one thing, though, that even his kind words couldn't make better. I still had yet to have that 'talk' with the pretend leader called Astrid.

_"You should hurry before Cicero falls asleep and either figure out the bed situation or at least grab your stuff so you can get changed. You really shouldn't sleep in wet clothing, after all,"_ Amicus whispered, giving a gentle tug on the still dripping shirt that was slowly soaking the towel I wore.

With a quiet gasp, I bolted toward the stairs, running up them before rushing down the corridors to Cicero's room. I didn't slow down until I could see the flickering light of a candle softly illuminating the room that _should _be hidden behind a door.

_Oh good, you're still awake! I'm not too late!_

Not that he saw me speak, looking down as he was. But he must have heard me enter because moments after I entered he was speaking.

"Did energetic Faith need something from sleepy Cicero?" He questioned without looking up as he slowly tugged one of his boots off, sitting on the lone bed.

Blinking at the exhaustion in his voice, I instantly felt guilty for anything and everything I might have done to add to it. Walking over slowly, I crouched in front of him and made sure my hands were dry before helping remove the other boot, carefully setting it down beside the other. Grabbing his hands, I looked up at him and gave him the best smile I could manage after seeing the dark circles under his eyes.

_No, I do not need anything right now. I just wanted to say goodnight one more time before you fell asleep and to thank you for bringing me here... Actually, to thank you for everything you've done for me since we met. And Cicero? My Cicero, if there is ever anything I can do for you, please let me know. Goodnight my dearest friend. May Mother help guide you into sweet dreams tonight._

Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead gently against his before pulling back and kissing his cheek like I used to do with Bastian at bedtime. Letting go of his hands, I turned and stood up again, walking over to grab my pack and leave the room. I needed to find a place to sleep where I wouldn't disturb my friend's rest. I'd already caused him enough trouble. He didn't need to speak for me to see that much, even if I wasn't sure what had troubled him most because of me.

Perhaps I was simply always troublesome. I would have to work on becoming easier for him to deal with. I didn't want to cause more trouble for my kind Jester Assassin if I could help it.

_It's going to be a lot of work, isn't it, Amicus?_

Leaving the room, I barely noticed the frown on Ellery's face as I walked past.

_Ellery, let's go. Cicero needs his sleep. We... No, not we, I... I have exhausted him enough._

* * *

"Well, since we have no idea what kind of skills you have, I would recommend you spend a few days getting to know the other family members and maybe see if Nazir has any small contracts come in that you can handle. If you are going to stay here, you will need to earn your keep. One way or the other," the pretend leader said, scowling as she looked at me.

_Of course, but I do have a question. How am I to get back inside once I leave the Sanctuary? Doesn't the door have a password that must be spoken? Cicero whispered something to the door before it opened, but since I'm mute, I cannot whisper the words needed. And I don't think the door would listen to Amicus or Ellery if they said the words since most people don't acknowledge them and I doubt your door would be any different._

Babette gave me a strange look before turning toward the female Nord, "She's mute so she wonders at how will she get past the Black Door when she returns."

"It looked like she said more than that, Babette," the false one said, a frown on her lips.

"Yes, but that was the important part. The rest would only give you a headache, more likely than not. Don't worry, I'll talk to her about the rest of what she said and bring you any important information I retrieve from her," the small vampire spoke, her eyes locked on me as she grinned like a cat watching a small bird.

"Very well. I will consider the matter for a time and once I have determined a satisfactory solution, she will take a contract and fulfill her obligation to the Family. You may both go now so that you may have your... discussion," Astrid spoke before turning away to lean over the stone table and focus on the map laying there.

"Come, Faith. Let us go to my room to... talk," said the Not Child with a smirk.

I was glad that Cicero had seemed so confident the Family would not harm me, because otherwise, I would be certain she was going to eat me. Even so, I couldn't hide the shiver that ran down my spine when I noticed her smirk grow wider, showing off the fangs even more than before.

_"She is doing it on purpose. Don't let her rile you up, Faith. Consider this another test, by a different Family member. Except, this one has no worries of death if you fail," _Amicus whispered, his hand brushing against my shoulder before pulling away again.

_Then what is the worry if I fail her test?_

_"That, I am not sure yet. Vampires tend to think more long term than most men since they potentially have centuries to exist rather than mere decades. Maybe she just wonders if you will alleviate her boredom? I have no idea how long she has been alive already, but for a vampire within a child's body, it says something that she is part of the last remaining Brotherhood, doesn't it?"_ Amicus practically breathed the words into my ear as we turned to leave the room.

As we entered the main chamber, the Not Child spoke again.

"Oh, and do make sure that both... Ellery and Amicus was it? Make sure both of them come with us, please. I have questions for them as well and I will know if you are lying when we get to my room and you confirm if they have both attended the... meeting. And I do not like being lied to, especially by Family."


	33. Chapter 33

When we arrived at the Not Child's room, she asked me if both my companions were in the room with us. Looking at Ellery as he frowned at her, I nodded to her, having felt Amicus brush his fingers down my hand until he gave my fingers a small squeeze of comfort.

"So, where is Ellery right now and who is he?" She stared intently at me as she asked this, her face blank of any expression, much like a mask that lacks emotion.

_Ellery is right there,_ I mouthed as I pointed to the area near her bookshelves. _He has been my companion for several years now._ _At least, I think it has been several. He's been with me since I turned 20._

"Well, how old are you now?" The vampire frowned as she asked me this.

_I'm not really sure. I am afraid I lost track of time years ago and Ellery refuses to tell me how long it has been._

"Okay, how about this. When were you born?" The agitation in her voice was subtle but still there for any who paid attention.

I blinked a few times before shrugging.

_I don't really remember, it's been so long since I thought about it. I think I turned 19 in 188... so maybe 169? 168? Somewhere around then, surely!_

"And the month? What about that? Surely you can remember that much." She sat so still as she spoke, I couldn't help but think she must be holding back from doing something.

_I'm sorry, but I really don't remember that._

"Then how do you remember when you turned 19?" I held still as she asked this, staring at how her hands were slowly beginning to clench.

_Because Ellery died in the beginning of 189. I turned 20 around the time he came back to me. At least, I think I did. Ellery, was I still 19 when you came back to stay with me?_

"You turned 20 shortly before Sun's Dusk, near the end of Frostfall, although I am unsure of the exact day," he spoke with a yawn. "When do we get to leave. I'm tired, Faith and boring questions are not going to help."

_Oh, okay. Ellery says I turned 20 near the end of Frostfall after he died. Also, he's tired and wants to know when we can leave for bed._

"Soon, I think. I just have a few more questions tonight and the rest can wait until I have had a chance to think through the answers you have given me," she spoke slowly, her eyes narrowed as she looked between me and the area I had pointed at Ellery having been.

Of course, he'd moved from that spot shortly after I'd pointed to him, but she obviously had ignored that fact.

"Tell me, is Amicus someone who died and came back to you as well?" Her question shocked me for a moment before I began laughing silently.

_Oh Aedra, no! Not at all! Amicus is the assassin who killed Ellery! He came back to me with Ellery when I needed them to-_

I stopped talking when I realized I was saying far too much to this person I had only just met hours ago. I am unsure how she had gotten me to talk so freely, but it had me on edge.

_I think I'm done talking for tonight. I'm tired and need to sleep. Goodnight._

Without waiting for a reply, I turned and walked out of the room, walking down the hallways until I was back in the main chamber watching the waterfall.

_I don't like how easily she manipulated me into talking about such things, Amicus. I haven't even talked to Cicero so freely and he's my first treasure beside you two. He has the right to know such things long before any of these strangers called Family._

"Then you should talk to him tomorrow. Tell him about us before the Not Child tries to steal the information from you. In the meantime, we will help guard you against her for as long as we can," Amicus whispered softly, patting my head. "And here we thought they were simply assassins, not thieves. Perhaps you fit in better than you expected?"

I gave a small smile at his joke before turning to the other set of stairs on the opposite side of the waterfall and slowly began climbing them. At the top was another metal door that told me it was likely the one I'd seen inside Mother's room opposite of the entry we'd used. That and a small stand marking the dead end. Placing my pack down, I slowly slid down the wall facing the door.

_I'm so tired, Amicus, Ellery. I think... I think if Cicero left right now, I could leave without even second-guessing the choice... This Family doesn't feel right. Oh, Mother, please choose your Listener soon so this Family can be turned back into what it is meant to be! Please..._


	34. Chapter 34

As tired as I was, it had been hours before I'd been able to sleep. I'd ended up spending most of that time writing, making notes on everything that came to mind about Ellery and Amicus and the things that I had learned during our travels together.

How Amicus disliked the rain, much like myself, and yet Ellery would dance about in the cold drops of water. I jotted down how Ellery was the one who told me to make the first stitch upon my flesh but over the years Amicus began suggesting I put meaning into the patterns based on my feelings, rather than just random patterns that simply showed my skill.

By the time I put the notes away and curled up next to the metal door in the little dead-end alcove I'd hidden in, I'd written several pages of notes about the two companions who I'd spent so many years with. And I once more thanked whoever it was that brought them both back to me, praying they let my friends continue to stay by my side. Then I took a moment to pray that, if they would be so kind, to please help Cicero with his search for Mother's Listener.

I'm not sure how much time passed after I'd fallen asleep, but it was to a gentle hand running up and down my back that I awoke, a voice whispering softly to me.

"Silly Faith, sleeping on the floor like this. Did Faith not wish to share Cicero's room this badly last night? She seemed to like Cicero enough before she left the room, but she didn't return and Cicero began wondering if Ellery had decided he didn't like Cicero again, even though Cicero has been trying his best to not make Faith's Jester upset... Cicero just doesn't know enough about the man to know all the things that might upset him," the Jester Assassin was rambling at this point and as I opened my eyes to look up at him, I could feel his fingers begin to twitch as his hands grew still upon my back.

Reaching a hand up to touch his cheek and turn his face down to see me speak, I gave a small smile before moving my lips slowly.

_Sweet Cicero, you don't need to worry. You have done nothing to upset any of us, not even Ellery. No, I simply didn't want to bother you last night. You were so tired, I couldn't expect you to stay up while I hunted for a bed, so I left in hopes you could sleep peacefully if you didn't have to worry about me._

"Then why did thoughtful Faith not sleep in one of the other beds? Cicero checked yesterday and there were enough she could have picked one for herself," the Jester Assassin spoke, his eyes flickering between my lips and my own eyes.

_Because I didn't want to sleep near the others, either. I don't trust them that much yet. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't distrust them so much, but I just can't feel safe around people who don't seem to understand how to treat family. Besides, this way, I was able to stay close to Mother in case anyone tried to bother her while we were sleeping!_

"Silly Faith, Cicero locked the doors before he went to bed. His foolish friend really should have come back to our room. Cicero wouldn't have minded making space for Faith to sleep. At the very least, she should have grabbed a bedroll to sleep on," sighing softly, he pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me in a short hug before pulling away again. "Come, let us get something warm to eat. We don't want Faith to get sick because the floor made her cold."

Smiling at my sweet friend's concern, I climbed to my feet and followed him back down the stairs, leaving behind my pack and the small pile of still damp cloth for later. By the time we reached the room where the other siblings were eating, my stomach was growling at the smell that filled the room.

It was only then that I realized I hadn't eaten since before we arrived and likely Cicero hadn't either. Rushing over to the gently bubbling pot of stew resting over the firepit, I grabbed two bowls and filled them with chunks of meat and vegetables, making sure extra carrots were in the second bowl.

_Here Cicero! I put extra carrots in your bowl!_

"And did thoughtful Faith make sure she had enough in her own bowl? Or is it mostly meat, like usual?" The sharp grin on his face had me lowering my bowl before him so he could see the chunks of carrot and potato sitting amidst the meat, showing that even though there was more meat than vegetables, it was balanced enough he gave a nod before starting to eat his own portion. "That will do for now. But try to add more carrots to the next bowl. They are good for your eyes, after all."

I let a small sigh escape before nodding to my friend, sitting down beside him and poking cautiously at one of the carrots. When it didn't turn to mush, I scooped it up onto the bowl of the spoon and lifted it toward my lips, looking almost like I expected it to attack me.

"Oh, quit being overdramatic and just eat the carrot, Faith. The longer you take, the colder the stew will become and Cicero really doubts our siblings would allow you to dump your bowl back into the pot and get a new serving like Cicero let you get away with last time you dawdled like this," I felt him nudge me in the side as he spoke.

Feeling the stares of our Siblings upon me, I hurriedly placed the spoon in my mouth and placed it emptied back down into the bowl, chewing slowly as I tried to decide if I liked the taste and texture. It wasn't quite as firm as I prefer my carrots, but it wasn't mushy either, just barely firm enough to require a moment of chewing to eat it. The flavor wasn't completely leached from the carrot either, leaving a bit of sweetness to it as it lay upon my tongue, although not as much as a raw carrot would have. It wasn't as good as the stew Cicero made, but it was a fair amount better than any not made by him that I'd had before.

_This will do, but I still prefer your stews, Cicero. I hope you get to make something before too long or I might have to drag you off on a trip so there is an excuse to eat your cooking again! At least once before I have to go out on a contract._

"Go out? On a contract? And what if Faith gets hurt and can't tell anyone what is wrong? Or loses track of her days, without someone there to remind her and doesn't come home for weeks... Or, Sithis forbid, for months! No, no, no! Faith cannot leave on her own for her first time leaving the Sanctuary," the man's frantic voice raised and lowered with each phrase he spoke, his food forgotten as he flung his hands around, the bit of broth once on his spoon now splashed about the table. "Besides, how would silent Faith get back inside without someone to speak the words for her? We don't even know if the Black Door is able to hear her Ellery or Amicus whisper the words for her!"

"Well, why not test the idea and see if the door will open for her imaginary friends?"


	35. Chapter 35

"Cicero is up for seeing if Faith's _loyal companions_ can open the Door for her," the Jester Assassin spoke with a sharp smile, but I could see how the spoon he held was beginning to bend in his tight grasp as his eyes seemed determined to burn a hole into the Pretend Leader's forehead. "But he wonders if anyone besides him and Faith are ready for what it means if they do prove capable to open the Door."

Reaching out, I placed my hand on his shoulder and smiled when he finally turned to look at me.

_It's okay, dear Cicero. We are used to people not believing in that which they are unable to see for themselves. Just having you willing to speak up for us is far more than anyone else has ever done before and for that... for that you have our thanks. Even from Ellery._

I smiled again as I noticed Ellery nodding at our Jester Assassin from the corner he was lurking in. Truly, our Jester Assassin was starting to win over even him. Although, it was likely that Ellery would forever deny this.

"Just because it is what Faith is _used _to dealing with such, it does not mean that she _should _have to deal with it. And especially here, surrounded by those who are _supposed _to be Family. Even if the others seem to have forgotten what that means, Cicero most certainly has _not_," the man grumbled quietly, finally setting the bent spoon down beside his bowl before raising his hand to pat my own.

"Just what do you mean by 'ready for what it means', Keeper?" Hearing the False Leader use Cicero's title had me quickly glancing at her, as I hadn't heard it used since the Jester Assassin had mentioned some of his many titles to me once.

Cicero, Jester, Assassin, Fool of Hearts, Faith's Friend, and most importantly Keeper of the Night Mother. The number of titles and jobs that my friend had was staggering and I was only too happy that not only did I never have to worry about trying to speak the mouthful out loud, but I did not ever have to wear so many titles myself. After all, the only ones I had were Thief, Assassin in Training, Companion to Amicus and Ellery, and Cicero's Friend. At least, those were it so far. Someday it would change from Assassin in Training to simply Assassin, or so I hoped.

"Oh, Cicero thinks that everyone can figure it out if they just think about it for a few minutes. After all, are we not all assassins, taught through both training and experience how to think of all the advantages and disadvantages something can bring us? Surely, oh surely, this family has not become so complacent as to forget such a simple thing?" The amount of taunting in his voice had me worried for his safety within this group of paid assassins, yet he showed not the slightest sign of fear as he kept grinning like a wolf hidden within a flock of sheep.

"If they are real and separate from her, doesn't that mean that they could hear things she doesn't and tell them to her? Like an invisible spy or something? It's just a thought, but it could be useful on contracts, couldn't it? I mean... it would be if they could, right?" Destin fidgeted in his seat as everyone's gaze seemed split between him and I, his shoulders hunching inward.

_Amicus wouldn't leave me alone long enough to spy on someone. He helps protect me so he doesn't stray from his place behind me. But Ellery might do so if he had the desire to. I can't force him, though. He's my friend, not my servant._

I saw the young man blush as he read my lips, his hands coming up and waving in front of him as he shook his head side to side.

"Of course he's your friend! Besides, since you are the only one who can see him, it isn't like anyone here can force him to do anything! And it would be unkind to expect you to try and make a friend do something he does not wish to, right?" He looked around him, looking hopeful that someone would say something in agreement.

"Well, if they are proven to be real and are capable of such a feat, then they would have to earn their own keep as well, just like everyone else here. After all, nobody stays in the Sanctuary without paying their way in some manner or another," the grin on the Pretender's face was almost as sharp as the one that had been on Cicero's, although his own had turned into a frown at her words.

_I cannot force them to do what they do not wish to do and I refuse to try. I can only ask if they would be willing to assist the Family in such a way. If they will not, then you shall have to find another way for them to earn their keep. And if you cannot come up with something, then that is your failure as a leader, not theirs as part of the Family._

Cicero's sudden cackling laughter filled the room as he jumped to his feet and began dancing around the room, causing the False One to turn her head toward Babette quickly as she began scowling.

"What did she say? What's going on? Why is the Keeper dancing about like a fool?" She was nearly growling the words by this point as Babette just sat there with her eyes focused on me as if she were waiting for me to say something else.

Shaking my head at the vampire, I stood up and grabbed me and Cicero's bowls, refilling them before turning toward the stairs.

_Cicero, come. Let us eat in a more peaceful setting. Besides, I promised to tell you about Ellery and Amicus, and there is so much to tell! Oh, but I have notes I made last night, so that will help!_

"Yes, yes! Cicero is coming! He is very excited to learn about Faith's dear friends! She must tell him everything she can so that Cicero can keep his own promise! Oh, yes! Cicero is excited indeed!" The Jester Assassin skipped his way over toward me before grabbing his bowl from my hands and gesturing up the stairs with the other. "Ahh, dear Faith should go first and Cicero will follow behind, just like Amicus does. She can have two assassins watching her back today!"

With a pause on the steps, he turned and looked behind him just long enough to give another sharp smile at those who were watching us.

"Don't worry, Cicero hasn't forgotten what everyone wants. He just thinks that we should wait until sunset to test the Door. We wouldn't want to attract attention, would we, if someone happens to wander by at the wrong time? That would just be foolish, after all!"


	36. Chapter 36

I enjoyed the time spent conversing with my dearest friend, for Cicero had many tales of his own to share during the moments I would grow quiet from my memories. He shared tales of his childhood, although he too did not share any names that might give clue to where he grew up. Another tale he shared was of the time he was first found by the Brotherhood, how he'd killed a man for how cruel he was to those around him.

He spoke of some of the Brothers and Sisters he'd had and lost over the years since he'd joined the Family, of how they had helped him feel like he finally had a place where he belonged in the world. In turn, I spoke of my own family and how I had left them so that I could provide in the one way I felt I could give them what they needed, what Bastian needed. I told him about how I met Ellery and how I kept running into him as he performed for the public, how we became friends and I eventually fell in love with him.

I gave him the papers that told of how I had found him with another woman, the betrayal I'd felt and the contract I'd offered to the assassin that had been sent, the one who eventually rejoined me as Amicus, and the completion of said contract.

"So Amicus is Faith's special friend! Cicero was right!" The man cackled as he wiggled his eyebrows at me, the familiar wicked smile on his face as he saw me blush.

Soon enough he was looking back down at the papers, reading the details as he slowly grew silent again, his eyebrows lowering in concentration. It might have been the contract itself, the way I described the completion of it, or perhaps even the part where I'd written down the weeks and months that followed and how I'd grown to regret my decision, but something about it seemed to make the man... uncomfortable.

"So Ellery was Faith's lover once?" He questioned as he looked up only enough to glimpse my lips.

_Yes, but such things are left in the past. Now he is simply my friend, my companion. Someday I will earn his forgiveness for having stolen his laughter away from the world, even if he has returned. It is not the same when I am the only one who can hear it._

He looked down again for a time before tilting his head and giving a small grin.

"And Amicus, did Faith really not mind that he took so much from her before he left that night? Did she really think he performed well enough to deserve taking whatever caught his eye?" He spoke softer than he usually did, peeking up at me almost shyly as he asked the questions, causing me to blush once again.

_I wouldn't have offered what I had if I hadn't felt it worth the price. Besides, it wasn't like I couldn't replace what I wanted to in time. And he came back to me and that is a far greater treasure than anything he could have taken that night!_

"You really consider an assassin able to become a treasure to you, even knowing that he killed your lover?" His hands fidgeted as he asked the question, his eyes flickering between my lips and my eyes.

_Of course! How could I not consider him a treasure when he came back to me and brought me so much happiness? I... I don't think I would be alive right now if him and Ellery hadn't returned to me. They helped me stitch myself back together again when I had fallen apart. It was... not a good time for me. Oh! And now I have you as well to call treasure and that makes me smile every time I think about it!_

The blush that spread slowly across his cheeks had me grinning at him as his eyes widened.

"Cicero will do his best to be worthy of such a title as Treasure to lovely Faith," he spoke gently before looking back down at the sheets of paper he held. "Cicero is learning much about Faith and will have a lot to think about in the coming days. But he wants sweet Faith to know that he is always willing to stay by her side, so long as the Night Mother allows it."

* * *

We stood outside as the sun slowly sank beneath the horizon, members of the Family slowly starting to trickle out to stand in small clusters as they peered at me and Cicero standing to the side of the Black Door. When the last of them finally stood along the edges of the dark, still pond, the False Leader stepped forward with a smirk.

"Are your 'friends' here as well?" Seeing me nod, she waved everyone back away from the door, gesturing for Cicero to also step away from me and the Door. "Nobody is allowed near you other than the two you claim to have with you. Babette shall whisper the word to one of your 'friends' and they will whisper the word to the Door. If it opens, then we shall have much to discuss, and if it doesn't... well, I think we all know what that would mean."

With a nasty grin, she waved Babette to step forward, leaving the child vampire to look at me as she waited for me to let her know when Ellery was there to hear her whispered words.

_Ellery, are you sure you are willing to do this? I won't make you, you know that._

_"If it makes that venomous bitch eat her words, I am willing to listen to some little brat whisper in my ear so I can whisper sweet nothings at a creepy looking door. I told you once, I'm the only one with the right to show you any cruelty. You owe that woman nothing compared to what you owe me, after all. Right, my sweet Faith?"_ Ellery gave a grin that matched Cicero's for how wicked it looked when his eyes flickered toward Astrid before meeting my own again.

Stepping forward, he wandered over to stand before Babette, leaning down until his ear was right before her lips.

_He's ready to listen to you. Don't move though, since he's right in front of you. Just whisper the words._

I turned my head away to stare at the door, my eyes tracing over the features it bore. When I heard Ellery begin to grumble as he moved closer, I stepped to the side to allow him closer.

_"That is the stupidest password I've ever heard. Haven't we had enough of that in our lives? Does that have to be the word to get inside this stupid place as well? Stupid, stupid, stupid... Okay, so I just place my hand on the skull and whisper? That's it?" _He grumbled before glancing at me, his hand raised and ready to place upon the door.

_That is what Cicero said. Just place a hand on the door and whisper the words when it asks the question. You can do this Ellery, I know you can!_

_"Of course I can do this. I will do this and then that nasty fake leader can eat her words!"_ With that said, he placed a hand on the door and waited for the door to whisper the question.

And waited. After a moment, he removed his hand and placed it on another part of the door.

_"Faith, it's not asking anything. Are you sure it is supposed to ask a question?"_ He glanced at me again, a scowl on his face. _"Did the faker do something to the door?"_

_No, she couldn't have. Cicero tested the door when we came out and we haven't left since then. They couldn't have done anything. Are you sure it isn't asking you anything?_

_"Yes, I'm sure! Amicus, you try touching the door. See if it will ask you the question. Be useful!" _Ellery growled as I began fidgeting.

_"No looking, sweet Faith. Remember, you promised not to peek,"_ I nodded as I felt him lift my hands over my eyes before I could hear Ellery step to the side and make room for Amicus to stand before the door.

"Now what is she doing? Why is she covering her eyes?" I could hear the Pretender ask someone.

"Oh, oh! Cicero thinks it must be Amicus! Faith is not allowed to peek at him, so he must be with Ellery at the door," the warmth in the Jester Assassin's voice had me smiling, not hearing a hint of doubt in his voice, even though he must know that if Amicus was at the door then Ellery was having problems.

_"I do not hear any question either, Faith. Maybe if you touch the door and hear the question, then Ellery could whisper the words for you?"_ Amicus whispered, returning to his place behind me as he lowered my hands again.

Nodding, I opened my eyes to see Ellery frowning at the door as he waited, ready to whisper the words. I could tell he was getting agitated at having even a door refuse to acknowledge their existence. I was getting a bit upset myself as I reached out toward the door, halting my fingers just inches away from the dark surface before taking a deep breath and pressing my hand against the surface.

I waited for the words to come, to fill my mind like Cicero said they would, but there was nothing. Turning around, I looked at Cicero.

_Cicero, are you sure it is supposed to whisper the words into my mind? I don't hear anything and neither did Ellery or Amicus. The door isn't speaking to any of us. Do you think... Is it because I'm too broken and so it won't talk to us?_


	37. Chapter 37

"Oh, let me guess! They can't get the door open because it doesn't acknowledge people who aren't real," the Fake Leader laughed as she spoke, leaning against the tall male Nord who stood beside her.

"She says the door doesn't work for her either, Astrid. It's not asking her the question any more than it asked the other two. That hasn't happened before," the vampire's voice brought silence to those who had begun to whisper to each other, eyes swiveling to stare at me in shock.

Cicero came forward and moved to stand before the door, placing his hand on it before stepping back and looking at me curiously.

"The Door whispers to Cicero still, so it is not the Door. At least, not just the Door? Confused Cicero is not sure why it wouldn't speak to sweet Faith. Let him think for a moment since he has never heard of such a thing happening either," the Jester Assassin stood there, tapping his gloved finger against his chin as he looked me over, his eyes glancing over toward the door from time to time.

Slowly beginning to walk in a circle around me, I could hear him mumble quietly to himself in a worried voice, Ellery moving to the side to avoid being run into by the man.

"Perhaps... Cicero wonders if... Yes, that might work. It is worth a try, yes? Yes! Will sweet Faith do as Cicero asks her to and not question him about why?" My dear Jester Assassin stopped in front of me and looked into my eyes as he spoke, his own honey-brown depths almost trapping me as I stared into them quietly before giving a nod.

Of course, my Jester Assassin. Just tell me what you want us to do and we shall all be happy to give it a try! Right Amicus, Ellery?

"Of course, Faith. Cicero is one of us now and it would be rude not to at least hear him out," Amicus whispered softly into my ear, his hands resting gently on my shoulders as he turned to Ellery. "And you, Ellery? You agree also, do you not?"

"If it will make that Faker stop gloating, I'd be willing to try just about anything," Ellery snarled, his eyes burning as he stared at the female Nord who was still whispering to the man she leaned against.

Leaning in close at Cicero's gesture, I waited to hear him tell me his idea. The feel of his warm breath flow against my ear had me blushing, but I listened to the quiet instructions he whispered to me before he pulled back with a toothy grin, patting me on the head before he turned to walk back to his place across from the rest of the Family. I doubt anyone missed the way his grin grew sharp as he saw Astrid's smirk, regardless of how dark it was becoming.

Are we ready?

Hearing my companions replies, I slowly raised my hand and placed it back on the door, right over the handprint on the skull's forehead. Closing my eyes, I felt Amicus' warm hand brush against mine before coming to rest beside it. Moments later, I felt another hand resting beside mine on the other side and then a chill ran down my spine as something touched my mind.

What... is the music... of life?

I felt myself begin to tremble as I heard Ellery whisper something beside me, the door giving a small pulse before it responded.

Welcome home.

I collapsed to the ground when the door suddenly moved, opening before us. Opening my eyes, I saw the entry leading into the Sanctuary, a faint light within guiding those who would enter. And behind me, only the wild laughter of Cicero as he danced about the area before making his way over to me.

"Cicero was right! He had a feeling Faith would need all three for the Door to work. Cicero thinks that, although Faith is a little broken, it is not in a way that will stop her from doing what she puts her mind to. It just might sometimes require doing things in a way that is unique to only sweet Faith and her friends. Being broken does not mean being incapable or unworthy. Cicero thinks that Faith is fine just the way she is and wouldn't have her be anything or anyone other than who and what she is, Cicero's wonderous friend Faith. Sweet Faith, who shall someday make all of Tamriel tremble with what she can do. Cicero has faith in Faith," his whispered the words softly as he crouched down beside me before pulling me up from the ground and into a gentle hug, one hand wiping the tears from my eyes as I smiled up at him.

If Tamriel trembles, then let it tremble before the Night Mother and Sithis. May it be the things we do in their name that causes people to fear what awaits them in the darkness. And when the Listener is found, may it be Mother's great and terrible words that guide our blades once more.

I ignored the sudden whispers as the Family began moving again, instead turning to pull Cicero along as we moved toward the open Door and walked inside. I wanted to tell Mother the news of how everyone in the Family would need to acknowledge Ellery and Amicus.

Thank you, Cicero, for telling us how to make the Door work.

"Oh, Cicero just had a feeling. After all, one cannot expect the Door to respond if only a part of you is asking for entry. Entry into our Sanctuary is like entry into the Brotherhood. Either all of you enters or you don't enter at all," the man tapped my nose before dancing down the stairs before me, leaving me puzzling over his confusing words.

What a strange man our Cicero is.


	38. Chapter 38

And then Cicero told me to try having all three of us touch the door and it worked, Mother! He's such a smart man, but I do wonder how he figured it out. And what did he mean by what he said afterward Mother? I don't understand, even though I feel like I should... Does Cicero know something that I don't about Ellery and Amicus? How could he know something I don't, though? I've known them both much longer than he has.

Did they tell him something? But how could they? Even Cicero admits that, although he believes they are real, he does not see or hear them yet. Oh! But he says he wants to try and figure out a way he can! Nobody has ever tried to learn to see or hear them before... I... It makes me happy that he would even think of such a thing, Mother. Thank you so much for bringing him into my life and letting me join your Family.

Hearing Cicero finally stop humming behind me, I turned around to see him finish putting away the supplies he'd been using to clean Mother's inner sanctum where she rested from her travels. Looking around, I was impressed by how much he'd gotten done in the short time since we had arrived. The broken bits of stone had been removed, the floor swept and surfaces dusted, the window and doors polished as best could be done.

Of course, I had done a share of the work myself, but the amount he had done without me had left me astonished. No wonder he'd been so tired last night, as he must have stayed up for hours on his own after I had left.

"Is sweet Faith done talking to Mother?" He asked with a smile when he noticed me looking toward him.

Yes, dear Jester Assassin. I told her everything I could think of about what happened since last night... Do you think she got bored of me talking? I don't want to be a bother to her.

"Oh no, Cicero doubts Mother would get tired of being visited by such a devoted child. Faith is a very good daughter to our Matron. He could only wish the rest of the Family was even half as caring as sweet Faith is," I couldn't help but agree with him as he spoke, although in a slightly different manner.

If Astrid could be half as good a leader as you are a Keeper, then we would not have to worry so much about Mother's other children. Sadly, that is not the case, but at least Mother knows she has you to keep her safe and try to lead her children back to her.

"Oh, but Mother has more than just her sweet Cicero! She has kind Faith at her side, as well! And with Faith's help, Cicero believes that they can find the Listener. Even if they must eventually search all of Tamriel, Cicero believes that he and Faith can do it, together," the smile on his face had grown even bigger as he leaned forward to pat my head gently.

Together.

* * *

"Faith, I want to speak with you for a moment," Babette's child-like voice called out as I walked toward the room containing the kitchens, my stomach achingly empty after having avoided leaving Cicero's side for most of the day.

Letting out a small sigh as I stopped moving forward, I turned my head toward the small vampire and frowning.

If you want to take me to the one who thought to have a laugh over Ellery and Amicus' existence, then I refuse to see her until she has an apology ready for them.

"No, this has nothing to do with her. This is purely for my own purposes that I wish to speak with you," she spoke softly, her eyes glancing about the room as if searching for something.

Are you trying to find Ellery?

I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering what she could possibly want with Ellery.

"Is he here? Does he always follow you around? I know you said that Amicus is always with you, but you didn't say if Ellery was capable of leaving the area you are in or if he must remain within the same room? How far is he able to wander from your side? Can he leave by himself and return with information he could share with you? Is he willing to share such information? Has he done so before? Are there other things he is capable of doing without your assistance? Can he affect anything in the physical world? Can Amicus?" Her voice picked up speed as she spoke, soon becoming little more than a quick ramble as she seemed to say whatever question came to mind.

That or she had spent the past hours simply thinking up questions and expecting me to answer them. If not for Amicus reaching up and turning my head away, I likely would have not noticed the glare Ellery was sending her way.

Ellery, don't worry. We don't have to answer her questions. After all, she won't be able to make me talk this time. Even if I'm not sure how she did it last time, you and Amicus know to watch for her tricks this time and our secrets shall remain our own until we are ready to share them.

Turning to the child-like assassin, I shrugged before gesturing down to the room below, hoping I could eat while we 'talked' so I at least wouldn't go hungry for much longer. Seeing her frown before nodding and heading down the stairs, I followed just long enough to turn and head over to check what was available to eat. It looked to be a choice between leftover stew from earlier or some steaks... steaks...

Oh no! The meat! We forgot to bring in the meat!

Turning quickly, I ran back up to Cicero's room and began pulling him behind me as I tried to drag him to the entry with me.

"Faith? What is wrong? Did someone do something? Say something? Why do you look so upset?" I felt him give a small squeeze to my hand as we passed by an upset looking Babette coming down the hallway from the shared living quarters.

I barely stopped long enough to turn to him and answer before tugging him once more toward the Black Door with me.

We forgot to bring in the meat and I'm hoping that it is still frozen enough not to have spoiled! Oh, Cicero! How could I have forgotten? It was supposed to be a gift to the Family!

Hearing him give a small chuckle before quickening his step, I felt his hand grip mine tighter before he rushed ahead of me.

"In that case, we'd best hurry and see! Cicero can't remember if kind Faith reapplied her spell the day before we got here or if it was even earlier than that! And right now, he is hoping it wasn't because venison steaks sound very tempting to Cicero right now!"


	39. Chapter 39

Well, the larger cuts of meat had survived a partial thaw, but the smaller cuts we had kept in a smaller bundle had already begun to spoil, ending up tossed into the woods far away from the Sanctuary so as not to attract predators to the area.

We'd carried the bundle of still mostly frozen meat back into the Sanctuary, down the stairs and through the main chamber as various Family members glanced at us before shaking their head and turning back to whatever they were doing before. After all, as far as they could see, all we were doing was carrying a bundle of wet cloth inside a sling that dripped cold water on the ground.

Neither Cicero nor I were about to admit we had purposely dropped the bundle in front of the Pretender's desk, leaving a huge wet puddle for her to deal with as we had made our way smirking down the stairs. When we made out way to the kitchen area I had run out of not too long ago, a frowning Babette had met us with her arms crossed. I'd barely been able to keep myself from patting her head like I used to do with Bastian when he used to pout.

_Don't worry, Child Who is Not. I had no plans to avoid your questioning. I simply wanted to see if the venison had spoiled or not. Good news, it was still frozen enough we didn't have to throw it all out! Only the little bundle we had kept separate for daily meals! Oh, but I still can't believe I forgot to bring it in with us. Stupid me!_

As soon as the cloth had been carefully set down to begin sorting into containers for storage, I went to smack my forehead as I did sometimes when I felt extra foolish. A hand quickly reached out and snagged my wrist, a soft tsk sounding from beside me.

"Silly Faith, talking like she is the only one who forgot. Cicero was there too and he did not remember. Is Faith going to smack his forehead too?" Hearing his words, I looked over, only to find myself staring into those soothingly familiar honey-brown eyes the Jester Assassin seemed almost to unconsciously use against me.

Sometimes I wondered if he knew the effect that his eyes had on me, soothing the almost constant need to shift and move about, even if just my fingers tapping or plucking at loose threads. When he pressed his forehead against mine as I stood there silently, I barely noticed other than his eyes were suddenly even closer, easier to drown myself within.

"Faith should be careful. If she lets Cicero continue to get so close, at some point he might not be able to stop himself. And Faith has already made it clear that she wants more than he is able to give. Faith wants forever," his warm breath brushed across my lips as he spoke, although it took a moment for the words he spoke to sink into my muddled mind.

It was only when he slowly pulled back, his eyes finally blinking as he turned back to the task at hand, that I realized what had nearly happened. And that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't mind if it was just a 'for now' with him.

"Why do you let him get so close to you?" I turned so quickly at the unexpected voice, my feet nearly caught on each other if not for Amicus catching me in time to keep from tumbling to the ground.

Staring at the young Destin as he stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the communal sleeping area, I frowned at him. Behind me, I could hear my Jester Assassin continue organizing the cuts of meat, setting some out to thaw further for a meal while others were grouped according to whether they would be refrozen or salted and dried for longer storage.

_And what business of yours is it if I choose to let him get close to me? You might be part of this Family, but you have no say in who I decide to spend my time with. Nor do you have any say in who I care for or how I care for them. If I chose to have him as my friend, that is between him and I._

I could feel my face grow warm as I mouthed the words, but I refused to look away from the vivid blue-green eyes before me.

_And if he ever becomes my lover, then that too is none of your concern._

"So you're not lovers? Thank the Divine! I'd thought-"

"It is only because lovely Faith does not want to claim Cicero as such, not because he is unwilling. Faith wants a forever and Cicero cannot offer that while he is Keeper. But that does not mean that he will allow just anyone to think they can have her for themselves. So if the initiate thinks he will be able to sweep pretty Faith off her feet, then he had best be prepared to prove himself," Cicero's voice cut through the room like a dagger slicing across a neck, silence following his words for only a moment.

"Divines no! I'm not about to go chasing after someone I just met!" The young man shouted the words, his eyes wide as he shook his head at the Jester Assassin.

"If he has no interest, then why does he open his mouth like an idiot and spew such words in front of someone who only stays his blade because the Tenets forbid it? What makes him think he has the right to an opinion in this? If anyone should be complaining about how close the man is getting to you, it should be me!" Ellery scowled as he stormed over from where he'd been lounging against a wall, firelight flickering across his face. "Why are you letting him worm his way into your heart? Don't you always talk about wanting someone who will stay beside you forever? Isn't that why neither Amicus nor I proved to be good enough as lovers? Because we strayed from your side, even though we returned eventually? What is to say that he will not leave your side as soon as he's had what he wants? How are we supposed to protect you, if you are the one who causes the pain?"

Turning away from everyone else, I stared at Ellery and felt myself shrink inward as my arms wrapped around myself.

_I don't know, Ellery. Not why the boy thinks to involve himself in something that is not his to concern himself with and not with why I find myself falling for our kind friend even though he will never really be mine. Perhaps I am the one who should be called a fool, for truly I must be foolish to let someone into my heart who has made it clear he will not be able to stay there._

Looking up, I met Ellery's eyes as tears began to gather within my own.

_What do I do, Ellery, when my mind says to wait for someone who will stay by my side, but my heart yearns for even a temporary reprieve from the loneliness it feels? Tell me what to do, Ellery._


	40. Chapter 40

"Faith? Is sweet Faith okay? Did Cicero say something he shouldn't have? If... if Faith is interested in the Initiate, then he won't interfere. He just worries that someone might try to take advantage of how caring Cicero's friend is. Please, please don't cry, dear Faith. Tell Cicero what he must do to make Faith smile again, please," soft words reached me as I felt gloved hands brushing at my cheeks, the world slowly coming back into focus as worried eyes the color of honey in shadows watched me.

_Interested? Wha? What are you talking about, my Cicero? I don't understand, why do you think I would be interested in the boy? Dear Fool, I don't cry because of something you said. No, no. I cry because I think I may have done something I cannot undo and I am unsure what to do now, what choice to make. Do I take the known path, the safe path, the one I have always walked upon? Or do I take the unknown path that is filled with risk, with the potential to lose everything just for a chance to gain something that I still might never have in the end? It should be an easy choice, giving up what could be gained to keep what is already had, but this time... I find myself at a loss._

Bringing my hands up, I gently wrapped my fingers around his own before taking a small step away from him.

_What do you do when you have a chance to gain something you never knew you wanted, but there is an equal or greater chance that you could lose not just the thing you were reaching for but also the treasure you already have?_

"Cicero is... unsure how to answer that other than to ask a few questions of his own. Does Faith feel the thing she finds herself wanting is worth the risk? Will she be happy keeping what she already has or will she find herself eventually regretting not having tried for something more? Only Faith can answer those questions, for Cicero is simply a Fool and has not the answer for a question he has only been told part of. Cicero is going to go make something for him and Faith to eat, so she should spend that time thinking about her problem," the Fool, who was not as much a fool as he pretended to be, walked over toward the selection of pots and pans before grabbing one of each and searching through various cupboards for things to add to his meal creation.

After standing there watching him for a few minutes, I sat down at the nearest table and looked down at my hands. Was the risk worth the potential gain? Would it be worth chancing losing what I had to gain something more? Or rather, would I regret it if I didn't take the chance to find even a temporary happiness, even if it didn't last forever? Right now, I didn't have an answer for that and I didn't know how long it would take to find it, hours, days, weeks or even months. But no matter how long it took, at least I had time to search for the answer. And until I found it, I was able to keep my treasure close.

"Ahem, I believe that we had things to discuss before we were interrupted?" Babette's voice cut through my thoughts, bringing me back to an awareness that there were others in the room besides just me and my Jester Assassin.

Looking at the small vampire, I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion hit me. Of course, there were questions she wanted answers to. ANd thinking of questions, where had the Initiate Destin gone off to? Peering about the room, there was no sign of the young man.

"Destin has gone off to find out about his latest contract, so you need not worry about any interruptions from him. Now, as I was asking earlier, does Ellery always follow you around or is he capable of leaving your side? And if so, how far can he go before he reaches the limits of your bond?" Staring intently, she made it clear that she was not going to leave me alone until she had at least some kind of answer from me.

_Ellery goes where he pleases. He usually stays close but he has gone so far as to leave towns before me if he thinks I am taking too long inside. I don't know what he does when waiting since I am not next to him obviously, but I have come out the gates sometimes and found him making all kinds of trouble._

"What kind of trouble?" Her eyebrow raised as she peered around the room before looking back at me, seeing me pointing at the chair that Ellery had seated himself within.

_Well, there was this one time..._

I glanced at Ellery to make sure he wouldn't be upset with me telling her anything about his little... escapades. Luckily, he looked more bored than anything else, so I turned back and continued.

_This one time, I came out of Wayrest and he was trying to lure someone's horse away while their back was turned. Of course, Ellery was never good with horses so it wouldn't follow him more than a few steps before turning back around or stopping to munch on some grass. I hadn't heard Ellery curse that much in quite a while, not since the beggar back in... Well, we don't really talk about that anymore, not usually._

"Hmm. Well, what about sharing information he found out while away from you? Has he done that before?" She narrowed her eyes as she asked more questions, making me uncomfortable for a moment before I shrugged.

_He usually holds onto information for his own reasons, but sometimes he'll tell me something if it is important or he's feeling kind. Oh, but he didn't really share any information when he first came back. He just kept talking about how I owed him a new cap for stealing his own, that I had to earn his forgiveness. He still mentions that, of course, but not as often. He talks about a lot of other things now. Amicus, too. Amicus was always rather forgiving of what I'd done, but he became more vocal as we all spent more time together. Especially after... after..._

Frowning, I looked over at Ellery and pressed my fingers against my temples.

_Ellery, I lost it again. The memory's slipped away from me. I know something happened, but I can't remember what it was. Remind me of that time, please?_

_"Our friend visited us, remember? He gave us a gift in exchange for a promise,"_ Ellery spoke, his eyes shifting to the side to frown at the Not Child. _"She doesn't need to know anything more than that. It's not her business what happened."_

_Oh, okay. Ellery says all you need to know is that a friend visited and gave us a gift._

"Who visited? What kind of-" She was cut off by a plate of food being sat before me, the smell of warm meat and seasoned carrots filling the air.

"Sorry to interrupt! Faith needs to eat so she can go and get some rest! She's had a busy day and Cicero needs to make sure she sleeps in a proper bed this time! He will not have her sleeping out in a corridor because her Siblings make her feel unwelcome with too many questions and she didn't have a chance to bring a bed of her own into her and Cicero's room before he fell asleep. Something that Cicero is going to fix as soon as they have both eaten," the man spoke quickly as he placed his own plate next to mine and sat down, making it clear that the conversation was over for the night.

Turning to me with a gentle smile, he patted my head and pointed to the carrots.

"Make sure you eat all of them, sweet Faith. Cicero made sure they would be just how his dear friend likes them, sweet and crunchy!"


	41. Chapter 41

I didn't even know how to begin thanking my Jester Assassin the next day when I awoke in a warm bed, layered in blankets to keep the cold at bay that seeped in from the various holes in the ceiling. How he had managed to drag the thing in here, I still am not sure, having spent the time trying to clean the remaining rubble from where there used to be a tunnel leading further in. Who knows where it once led, but this room was now the end of the path.

I shifted within the blanket's warmth when I felt a finger prod at my side.

"Faith, wake up. Sweet Faith needs to rise from her comfy bed. Cicero is sorry to rush her but a Sibling has requested his dear friend's ear for conversation about a... contract," I could tell he did not like the thought that I might have anything to do with a contract already, even if just talking about one.

Peeking my head out of the blankets, I sent Cicero a smile, trying to let him know it was okay. I would be okay. And I would, because no matter what happened, no matter where I was sent, I had something to come home to. I had a home, one which existed only because he was part of it.

_I'm awake, dear friend! Who is it? Is it the Not Child again? I told her I would talk with her after I've had a few days to rest. Surely she has enough patience to wait that long, being a vampire._

"No, silly Faith, it is not the unchild. No, no, not her. It is the Initiate again, although he has promised Cicero that he will be more... respectful with Faith than he was last night," he spoke cheerfully as if I would be unable to see the sharp smile that appeared on his face or the way his honey-brown eyes glimmered with mischief.

_Oh. Him. Well, I guess I can spare a few minutes of my time to hear what he has to say..._

Sighing, I climbed out of the bed, turning to pull the blankets back up in an attempt to make the bed somewhat less of a mess than it was. Once that was done, I went over to the bowl of water sitting on the table and grabbed the ragged cloth within, rubbing at my face as I tried to wash away the sleep that still pulled at my eyelids. It was only as I slowly poked and prodded at the limited selection of clothing in my pack that my friend spoke up.

"If Faith continues to dwaddle, Cicero might have to tell the Initiate to just come inside instead of waiting in the hallway, since he suspects Faith would allow the entire day to pass her by before she is ready to leave their room," the laughter escaping with his words did nothing to help reduce the blush I felt creeping across my face.

Quickly grabbing whatever my hands touched, I hurried behind the curtain of cloth the Jester Assassin had hung last night to give me a place to change that was hidden from sight. Not because I didn't trust him, but because he'd claimed that 'a lady should have privacy when she wishes for it' as he'd screened off a corner of our room.

By the time I had stepped out from the curtain, I could hear Cicero talking quietly to Destin, the young male speaking so quickly I couldn't make out anything of what he said. When Cicero held up his hand to stop the initiate's words, I took a few steps closer to where the two sat at the table, plates of partially-eaten food before each of them and an untouched plate placed before the seat next to Cicero.

"The thoughtful Initiate brought breakfast to share while he waited for Faith to get ready. So polite, it almost makes up for his previous behavior," he said the words in the familiar sing-song voice he'd sometimes used when trying to decide if he would ignore me trying to sneak most of my carrots into his bowl of stew or if he should give me a double helping of carrots instead.

_Oh. Well then, let's eat!_

Sitting in the spot Cicero had chosen for me, nearly as far away from the one called Destin as I could get and still sit next to the Jester Assassin, I took a bite of the gently steaming eggs with a smile. Whoever had made this knew their seasonings, which left me wondering if it was the same person who'd made the stew previously.

"Umm... I just wanted to say, err... I'm sorry about last night! I didn't mean to be so rude! Sometimes I just... I don't always hold my tongue when I should and you kinda reminded me of someone I knew once and it shouldn't matter to me who you want to be friendly with but... Errm... I'll try to keep my personal issues to myself next time. I'm sorry," the Initiate stammered through his words, but it was obvious he was apologizing as best he could.

Looking up from my plate of food, I peered at the youth fidgeting at the other end of the table, his hands picking apart the thin slice of bread as he waited for a response. I still think he looked far too young to be a paid killer, but if Cicero said he was just as young when he became an assassin, who was I to comment again upon such a thing... But, being so young, I shouldn't be too hard on him. Especially since I was not exactly a socially adept person myself.

_Very well. Just try to remember that you have no say in my personal life. Who I care about and how I care for them are my choices to make. I am the one who must live with the consequences of those choices, thus it is not fair for someone else to try and make them for me. If you can remember that and live with it, then we can wipe the slate clean and start again. If not, then you might as well leave now and do your best to ignore my presence here in the Sanctuary._

"I'll try my best not to put my foot in my mouth," he said with a grin, standing up and reaching his hand across the table to hang in the air in front of me.

Slowly raising my hand, I grasped his and gave it a quick shake before letting go and rubbing my hand against my leg under the table where he couldn't see.

_Very well. Let's try this again. I am known as Faith, long-time thief, assassin in training, companion to Ellery and Amicus, and this here is Cicero, Keeper of the Night Mother, Jester Assassin, the Fool of Hearts, and my treasured friend._

"Ah, um... I'm known as Destin, recent Initiate into this group. Err, I was an orphan before coming to Skyrim. I was kinda hoping to find my dad's family or my... But that doesn't matter right now, does it... Umm, stuff happened and now I'm here?" He shrugged, glancing down at the pile of bread crumbs and blushing as he sat down the small piece he hadn't picked apart yet as he wiped the butter coating his fingers on the napkin beside his plate.

_That's how life is sometimes. You make plans and stuff happens. It is what we do after that which determines what kind of life we live. Are you going to let the world decide your life for you or are you going to keep working for what you want in life?_

The boy sat there quietly for a moment before nodding, a smile appearing on his face again. "Yeah, I'm not gonna let the world take anything else from me! I'm not giving up!"

_Good boy. Now, Cicero mentioned you wanted to talk about a contract?_


	42. Chapter 42

Looking at the sad eyes of my Jester Assassin, I waved slowly to him as the horse I was on moved away from the Sanctuary, my other arm wrapped gingerly around the waist of the Initiate seated before me. I'd managed to delay our leaving by a day, but it had not been nearly enough time to feel ready to go anywhere without Cicero at my side. I'd gotten far too used to his company and knowing he had to stay behind to tend to Mother left me feeling unwelcomely... vulnerable.

"Don't worry, Faith. This is just a small contract. Astrid says the bigger one she is working on for me isn't ready yet. This one should be easy to complete. That's why she has us picking up some extra supplies while we are out. Babette needs some more blisterwort. Oh, and I think she mentioned something about canine roots?" He muttered a bit at the end, but I could make out what he said and gave a silent chuckle before poking his shoulder until he turned around enough to see my face.

_Canis root. She wants canis root if we can find it._

"Oh, yeah. Canis root. For her poisons."

* * *

I could feel my hands trembling as I watched the door, waiting for the target to leave the building and head home for the night. The shadows were stretching across the ground as the sun began to vanish behind the mountains and I could just make out Ellery on the other side of the road as he glared at the Initiate standing beside him. Meanwhile, Amicus had his hands on my shoulders, trying his best to reassure me as we waited to kill a man I had never met before.

Why had someone wanted this man dead? Had he done something to hurt someone? Said something he shouldn't have? Maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and now someone felt he needed to die. No matter what it was, I likely never would know the reason for his death at our hands and that troubled me.

Feeling Amicus give a sudden, gentle squeeze to my shoulder, I focused back on the door to see a worn looking man exit the inn, a bottle of mead in his hand as he swayed in place before turning toward the road leading to the edge of the small town. Looking over, I saw Ellery following behind Destin as he crouched down and began slipping into the darker shadows around him.

_I guess this is it. I'm going to kill someone who did nothing to me... This doesn't feel like when I killed Loreius. I don't hate this man. I... I don't want to kill him. Amicus, please help me get this done so I can return to our Cicero. I just want to go home!_

I sank into the feeling of Amicus' hands grasping my wrists, guiding my movements as I tried to pretend the blood wouldn't be on my hands by the end of this.

* * *

"Faith... Faith, you can stop now. He's dead," I froze as I heard the voice come from behind me, a hand giving a gentle shake of my shoulder.

Blinking, I began taking in the world around me again, feeling Amicus' release my hands from his grasp with a soft apology before he stepped back to his usual place a few steps behind me. Immediately I missed that feeling of distance from everything, looking down at the dagger plunged into the dead man's chest, my fingers wrapped around the handle. It was only a moment later that I was stumbling away to lean against a tree, everything I'd eaten that morning finding a new home on the ground as I felt my stomach twist painfully.

_Oh, Amicus... is this what it's going to be like from now on? Is this what I have to do if I want to stay at Cicero's side? I... I'm not sure if-_

"Faith? Faith, it's okay. I did the same thing during my first few contracts. It gets... easier. Not better, but easier," the Initiate spoke softly to me, his voice soothing in the same way mother used to speak to Bastian after he'd had a bad dream. "Hey, want to go do something to take your mind off of this? I know a place where we can go and do whatever we want inside. Best of all, everything there is already dead, so you don't have to feel bad when you stab it! Lets' go and forget about this for a while, okay?"

His words were confusing, but the idea of going somewhere else, of getting to forget for even a little bit... it was something I wanted far more than I'd expected. I wanted to forget for a bit, so that when I returned to Cicero, I could look at him and smile instead of crying like I wanted to do right now.

_Yeah... Please, I just need to forget, just for a while. Just until I can... Please, let's go._

* * *

I wasn't sure what I'd expected when we rode his horse up to the mound of dirt and stone, but this definitely wasn't it. And when we came across the first of the walking corpses, I would have screamed if I could. It was only Amicus' quick action that kept me from being flung across the room when the thing... shouted magic at me, the bones laying on the floor suddenly flying against the wall and shattering as I tried to catch my breath after Amicus had pulled me out of the way so urgently.

Hearing the Initiate, Destin, give a yell and charge toward the thing attacking us had me looking up, seeing him lifting his sword and slashing at the body that should still be laying dead but wasn't obeying the rules. I watched as he blocked an attack from the thing's own much larger sword, his knees bending from the impact before he lifted up again and pushed the dead thing away from him before returning an attack of his own.

Several minutes went by like this, watching him slowly cut away at the Not Dead Thing that had attacked us. It wasn't until I felt Amicus' hand touch my wrist that I nodded and stepped away from the pillar, my hand grabbing at my dagger as we slipped into the shadows and moved slowly around to get behind the Not Dead. Moments later, it was curled up on the ground, a dagger in it's spine and a sword buried within the thing's chest.

Trying not to breath in the dust that had risen from it upon the collapse of the body, I watched as Destin cheerfully walked over to a chest and began trying to pry it open. Blinking, not having noticed the chest until now, I watched him fumble for a moment before slowly making my way over and tapping him on the shoulder.

"I think this one's locked. Sometimes I find one that's open, though, and still has some good stuff inside for selling. Oh, and sometimes the Draugr have stuff on them. Usually just a few coins but sometimes you get lucky," he rambled as I began searching through my belt pouch for my picks.

Kneeling down, I glanced at him before chuckling, knowing he'd forgotten what I'd told him about myself. Peering closely at the lock on the chest, I began the familiar pattern of shifting the internal mechanisms that kept out all but those like myself who lived for these moments.

"Oh, yeah... Hey, does this mean you can handle the traps these places have?" He sounded far too excited, as if he expected I would want to stay in this place after fighting that Dro... Draw... Not Dead Thing.

Hearing the click of the lock releasing, I pushed the lid open and looked inside the chest. Shimmering softly from an enchantment, I stared at the ring laying within, ignoring the coins and piece of leather armor next to it. Reaching out to grab it, I shivered at the feeling of magic that washed through me as soon as I placed it on my finger.

_Just how many locked chests do you usually find in these places?_


	43. Chapter 43

We had made our way cautiously through the tunnels of the ancient crypt, me disarming traps and unlocking whatever chests we came across that didn't open immediately to Destin's eager hands. With each new trinket discovered, we both grew more and more eager to seek out more. I couldn't deny that I had slipped a few items into my pouch without bothering to ask if he had any interest in them, but he never spoke a word about it, knowing that without my skills the items would be lost to him anyhow.

Besides, the latest item I placed carefully within my pouch wasn't something I felt the Initiate would appreciate properly. No, I knew exactly where it would be best admired for what it was.

The books were another matter entirely, him begrudgingly carrying the ones I wanted in exchange for me letting him have the majority of the coin and gems we came across. If he didn't know how rare some of those books were, and thus the value they held... well, I wasn't about to tell him that little secret.

It was only when we reached the last door that trouble struck, walking into a large cavernous room filled with the slabs that marked the lids of those stone coffins the Nords of old seemed so fond of. My eyes met Destin's momentarily before the sound of grinding had us both looking back to see the door shut behind us with a loud click.

_Well, shit..._

* * *

_I can still taste the ashes on my tongue... Why did I ever have the idea to use fire magic on that thing? I'm lucky I didn't burn my own hands off! Amicus, why didn't you stop me from using fire magic? You know I'm no good with combat spells!_

_"Because your dagger was knocked away from you and we both figured that since they are dried up old corpses, perhaps fire would burn them faster than ice would slow them down?"_ The sarcasm used to try and hide his worry was evident, even though he was whispering, hands trembling as he checked my back for any wounds I might need to have healed.

To be honest, after facing that many of the Not Dead, I was lucky to be alive. The last one to have risen up had been extra nasty, shouting magic at both Destin and myself with ease as we tried to get close enough to hit it with our blades. It had been after my dagger was too far away to reach and Destin had been knocked to the ground by one of the things shouts that I finally pulled myself together to try the spell Amicus suggested in an almost panicked voice.

_I'm sorry Amicus. I'm just... I'm not used to trying to cast a spell in battle. Maybe it's time to start carrying more than just the one dagger with us. Maybe we should pick up a few of the ones we left behind when we leave._

_"Or you could take that one over there,"_ Amicus said softly as he turned my head to look at the shimmering dagger laying innocently upon the stone table just to the side of the strange-looking wall that Destin was staring at.

_Oh... Yeah, the Initiate doesn't seem interested in it. He uses swords more often anyhow. And he's already picked up a couple of those. I bet he wouldn't mind if I took this._

I rambled as I walked slowly up to the table, my fingers twitching slightly as I reached for the dusty metal blade. My fingers tingled as they trailed across the side of the blade before wrapping around the leather grip of the handle.

_Oh, yes. That's nice. That's very nice indeed. I like this one, Amicus. We could have fun with this one. This has a good enchantment on it. Fire is much safer in a dagger than in my bare hands._

_"Faith, what is the boy doing?"_ I looked up when I heard Ellery ask the question, seeing him staring intently at the Initiate as he blinked a few times before mumbling something over and over, looking down at his hands.

_I don't know._

Walking toward him, I watched as he shook his head and sighed, turning to glance at me before walking toward a sword leaning against one of the coffins.

"Let's grab what we want from here and go back to the Sanctuary. I don't think we should stay much longer. Who knows what might try and attack us next," he spoke before giving a chuckle, no actual humor in the sound.

Peering at the wall where he had stood and stared for so long, I saw nothing of any real interest, the words seeming only to blur before my eyes before skittering away from me. I shrugged and turned to Ellery.

_You heard him. If there is anything you want from here, better let me know so I can make sure it doesn't get left behind._


	44. Chapter 44

Home. It felt so good to be back home again, after spending far too long away from the Sanctuary. Even if it was just a couple of weeks, it felt like so much longer had passed. At least the horse had traveled faster than the wagon me and Cicero had used, having less weight to deal with. Of course, if we hadn't gone into the burial mound, I'm sure we would have been back that much sooner, but I had needed that time to take our mind off of the blood I had spilled while allowing myself to sink under Amicus' puppetry.

Ahh, but I shouldn't think of that! We were home now and we needed to bring the supplies inside before I could be free to check on Cicero and Mother! Climbing down from the horse, I grabbed a couple of the bags that were tied to the saddle and walked up to the Door, smiling as I sat the bags down and placed a hand on the skull. As soon as I closed my eyes and Amicus and Ellery placed their own hands next to mine, I felt a warmth bloom within my chest as the Door slowly swung open, accepting me as Family and welcoming me within.

Grabbing the bags back up again, I rushed inside with a grin, dropping the bags as soon as I was near the Pretender's desk before hurrying down the stairs to the main chamber. I barely made it halfway across the room before a streak of black and red ran out from the stairs opposite of the entry and stopped just shy of crashing into me, those sorely missed honey-brown eyes wide as they wandered my face as if trying to make sure I was still myself.

"Is sweet Faith really back again? Cicero is not imagining her return again, is he? Please, tell Cicero that this is real?" He reached out a trembling hand, stopping before he could touch me and staying there, as if afraid I would vanish if he moved any closer.

_Oh, Cicero. Sweet, kind Cicero... Yes. Yes, I'm back home again and I don't plan on leaving again for at least a few weeks. I don't care what anyone says. I need some time here to rest. The contract was... harder than I thought it would be. Cicero... I don't know if I am cut out to be an assassin just yet. But maybe with a little time, it will get easier? Not better, but... easier._

Reaching out a hand to gently grasp his own, I gave a smile that only trembled a little bit before growing steady. Seeing him finally relax, his tense shoulders dropping as his free hand reaching out to pull me into a hug, I couldn't stop myself from leaning my head against his shoulder and just enjoying the warmth that he provided.

"Cicero thinks Faith should take as long as she needs to become an assassin. And until she is, Cicero will be happy to help train with her again. He's missed their dances very much, yes he has. But not nearly as much as he has missed his dear friend Faith," he whispered the words to me as he hugged me tighter, placing his cheek against the top of my head.

_I missed you too, Cicero. So very much._

* * *

I stared at the Initiate as he stood in front of us, nervously rubbing his right hand up and down his left arm as he gave a half-shrug when he finally finished talking. I could feel the frustration building within me, wondering just how far these people thought they could push me before I pushed back. And I would push back if they didn't back off.

It wasn't like taking their contracts was the only way I could pay for my share of room and board. I'd paid my way in places before without having to lift a blade, I could do it again. Not that I wouldn't take contracts, but it would be at my choosing to do so, not at that... female's demand.

Or, that is what I wanted to say to them, but even if I wanted to deny it, I knew that she could and would throw me out of the Sanctuary if I refused to do as she commanded. That and the Tenets themselves commanded that we obey those who were our superiors and as much as I hated to admit it, she was still of higher rank than I.

The only ones currently above her in rank were Mother, obviously, and Cicero himself if one put any thought into it. After all, if I understood things correctly, the Keeper was charged with Mother's care, a position of great importance to the Brotherhood and surely they would not give that position to someone without giving them a rank befitting such an important duty.

After all, you don't put someone in charge of caring for your greatest treasure and then say they are of no importance! And yet that is how the Pretender was treating the Keeper and it bothered me even more than how she treated me.

_So she wants me to accompany you on another contract, another minor contract mind you, and then come back by myself while you finish a second, bigger contract on your own? Why? Why not have me go with you for the bigger contract and let you do the smaller one on your own? Wouldn't that make more sense? This feels like a waste of assets... She's up to something and I don't like it!_

"I don't get it either, but I don't really know that much besides what Cicero has told me. Which wasn't really that much, since he had to take care of the Night Mother and everything. Not that I mind! I mean, I feel lucky to learn anything about the Brotherhood! Astrid... Well, she doesn't really talk about the Tenets or the Old Ways like you two do and it would be kinda nice to know what it used to be like... What it's supposed to be like?" The Initiate stood there, plucking at his sleeve nervously as if he was expecting us to be upset with him.

Looking at him for a moment, I turned to my Jester Assassin and shrugged before giving him a nod and sitting down at our table. Gesturing to the seat across from me, I smiled as my friend sat in his usual spot next to me.

_Well, you said we have a couple of days before we need to leave for the contract, right? Tell us what you would like to know and we will share what we can. But the Keeper knows far more than I do since he has been in the Family the longest. Maybe we will both learn something new from him today!_

"Cicero would be happy to teach his sweet Faith more about the Old Ways! And the Initiate as well, of course. It is good to have as many of the Family knowing how things should be as possible since that brings us all closer to being a _proper _Family. Cicero is afraid that we have a long way to go before we get there, but we have to start somewhere, yes?"


	45. Chapter 45

It felt good to move like this again, my limbs stretching as I darted back, forth, and side to side, weaving about to avoid the ebony blade of my dearest friend. The mild pull of my stitches when I reached out to slash my dagger at his side felt odd, but I couldn't help wanting to see how fast I could move, how far my blade could reach. It was a rush when I felt the edge slip against cloth before the Jester Assassin was able to shift out of the way, knowing that I was getting better if I was able to get so close to cutting him.

Not that I want to cut him, of course! Oh no, not him! But I knew that if I was getting this close to landing a hit, then it meant he might hold back a bit less and I would be closer to seeing his real skill. Oh, how I wanted to see what it looked like for him to unleash himself, to use his full potential! Even if only in a practice match and not a real fight to the death...

"Faith should not let herself get distracted so easily," came a soft whisper from behind me moments before I felt a sharp blade press against my ribs, just shy of cutting the skin to release a flood of warm blood.

Turning my head, I looked shamefully into his eyes and blinked slowly.

_I'm sorry, my Cicero. I guess I let myself get lost within my thoughts._

"And what was pretty Faith so busy thinking that it wasn't able to wait?" He said as he raised one hand to brush my hair behind my ear on one side, his lips quirking up in a smile.

_I... I guess I was just wondering how much longer it would take me to get good enough for you not to keep needing to hold back. When will I be able to see you dance your best dance?_

My heart was racing as I looked into his eyes, slowly losing myself within the sea of emotions that lived there. It was an almost familiar comfort, the way the world slowly faded away as I sank into someplace that didn't really exist.

"Faith still has a ways to go before she is that good, but Cicero can tell she is improving. She's starting to move differently at times, moves that are more her own and less those of Amicus? Cicero thinks it is a good thing if she can learn her own dance without relying on Amicus to lead her so much. It will free him to guard Faith's back instead of having to guide her hands and feet. Cicero would feel better knowing that her enemies won't be able to come up behind her so easily. It will be a while, but she will see him dance his best in time," the Jester Assassin put his dagger away as he slowly backed away a few steps.

_Oh. I understand, Cicero. I do have a lot left to learn, but I'm glad you've noticed I'm getting better._

I tried to smile, knowing that he was proud I had begun learning to dance on my own and not have Amicus doing all the work. I wanted Cicero to be proud of me, to not think me only as good as Amicus could make me. But I also knew I had a long way to go before I was even close to what Amicus was able to do when he was being the Puppet Master.

I almost jumped when Cicero gave a soft laugh and held out a hand. "But perhaps Faith would be willing to see a different kind of dance for now?"

With a cheerful smile, he grabbed my hand as soon as I raised it, pulling me close before we began to spin and twirl across the floor. For the next several minutes, the room was filled with laughter as it felt like time both came to a standstill and yet passed far too quickly for my liking.

All too soon, it was time to get ready to leave the Sanctuary again. To leave Home.

* * *

Another contract that should have been easy, and in some ways it was easy, but the aftermath hit hard and we once again found ourselves sweeping down musty corridors searching for treasures long lost to time. Traps were either disarmed or warned against, locks were picked, and relics were picked through and claimed or left behind for others to find.

This time, I put even more thought into the trinkets I grabbed, wrapping the more delicate ones in cloth or leather so they wouldn't get damaged. Even if we didn't get along yet, the smile that had appeared on the old mage's face when he'd found the trinket hidden under his pillow had far outweighed the coin that could have been gained from selling the thing.

Of course, the hardest part was hiding some of the things I took from Destin's eyes, not wanting him to be able to point his finger at me if anyone started asking questions. It wasn't for their thanks that I did this.

No, I didn't want anything like that. I wanted the real treasure, that first unguarded reaction upon seeing the little trinkets I left them. The smile that curved their lips, the widening of their eyes, or the gasp of shock before they looked around trying to see who might have left it. Of course, I'd gotten good at hiding over the years and so far Cicero was the only one who could always find me.

I'd even made a game of it, moving something from one spot to another or leaving behind something that would attract his eye and seeing how long it took him to find me. Last time, it had taken him less time to find me than it had taken me to hide, but he'd still patted my head and chuckled before sitting down to eat his sweet roll.

Ahh, but I had yet to find a trinket worthy of hiding under his pillow. No, nothing left behind in this labyrinthine tomb was even close to being good enough for my dearest friend, nothing that jumped out and said "I'm meant for him" or "I would put a smile on his face". No, I had a feeling that nothing found within these dead hallways would ever be for my Cicero.

For my Cicero, I would need to search for a much rarer treasure than any that could be found inside of this crypt.


	46. Chapter 46

I'd been lucky the Initiate was willing to stop by a town before he left for his other contract, even if it was too late to get a ride to Falkreath and I had to stay the night at the local inn. At least the bed was mostly clean and the food was warm. The next morning, I had hurried outside as soon as the sun peeked over the horizon and climbed into the wagon after passing a note and some coin to the driver, more than ready to head home.

The warm rush of air as I slipped inside the Sanctuary once again had a smile curving my lips upward, more than ready to greet the Family. And my Cicero, the one I had missed so much.

"Ah, I see you have returned. Destin has gone on to his other contract, then? Good. That is good. You should get to know the other members of the family, you know. You spend too much time with just the fo- the Keeper. You'll make the others think you don't like them," the Pretender spoke as soon as I passed by her desk, her hands tracing over the map near where a dagger was buried into the surface.

_Communication works both ways. They could speak to me far easier than I could to them. However, I shall try. Not because you ask it, but because they are Family, regardless of how they might act, and it would not do to ignore my Siblings. Not after having spent so long trying to find treasures._

I ignored the frustrated look she gave me as I carried the heavy sack with me, wishing I could have left the books with Destin. At least I'd only had to haul it a short way after riding in the wagon, rather than having been forced to carry it the entire way on foot. If not for the books and trinkets that lay within, I likely would have left it all behind long ago.

Ahh, but it wouldn't do to come back Home without presents for the Family! One must always take care of those who were meant to become treasures, after all.

"Faith has returned again, at last! She doesn't have to leave again, does she? She hardly got to stay last time before she was made to leave poor Cicero behind!" The Jester Assassin's voice warmed my heart with his welcoming words, jumping to his feet the moment I stepped into Mother's room from where he had been placing flowers into one of the many vases he'd brought into the inner sanctuary.

As far as I know, I don't have to leave any time soon. At least, the False One hasn't said anything to me yet. Besides, Destin won't be back for a while yet and Babette is the only other one besides you that knows how to read lips. I doubt Babette would want to drag me along on her contracts and you are not allowed to take any contracts, much though I wish you could. Besides, I have a feeling that the Pretender doesn't like knowing that you are not the only one following the Old Ways.

Shrugging, I sat my sack down and began carefully digging through the contents within. Finding the leather bundle I'd tied closed with a strip of red cloth, I pulled it out and handed it to Cicero.

_I... found this while I was out and I was hoping that you would give it to Mother for me... if you think she would like it, that is. I mean, if not, then you can do whatever you want with it. It just made me think of her and I was-_

"Oh? Something nice for Mother? Let us see what thoughtful Faith has brought home," he smiled as he plucked at the knots I had made, having set the gift in his lap as he sat down on the nearest bench.

It took a few minutes before the last knot was undone and the leather gently unwrapped, but finally, the trinket was revealed to his eyes. Gently carved out of amethyst, the petals of the flower curled out from the amber that formed the center, the whole thing just big enough to fill the palm of his hand as he lifted it from the scrap of leather.

"Oh... Mother will like this indeed. Where did Faith find such a thing? Cicero didn't think something like this would ever show up in Skyrim of all places, no, no. Summerset would be more the place for something like this," he walked slowly over to Mother's coffin before glancing at me, his gloved hand resting on the surface.

_I'll tell you later on, after you're done here, okay? I should go put the rest of this stuff where it belongs!_

Smiling, I waved and began turning toward the door before stopping for a moment.

_I missed you, Cicero. Very, very much. It feels good to be Home again._

I watched from the shadows as the Redguard froze for a moment before slipping his hand under the pillow, pulling it back out to reveal a small pouch. Carefully opening the pouch, he pulled out a small vial, opening it before lifting it to smell the contents. Frowning, he closed it and picked out a different vial, doing the same as before. After repeating the process a few more times, he finally looked around with narrowed eyes and spoke.

"_Whoever _it is watching, I'm _not _going to say thank you. If that is what you are waiting for, then you are wasting your time," the man spoke, his voice sounding bored.

I smiled when he turned and walked away, heading down the stairs to the kitchens below. No matter how much he tried not to show a reaction, I'd seen the slight tug at the corner of his lips when he'd smelled the spices.

It might have taken him shouting at me and Cicero for using the kitchens to realize that he considered the area his territory, but upon knowing, how could I have resisted buying the pouch of spices when I'd seen them while selling the junk I'd collected while slipping through the crypt with Destin?

Slipping quietly from my hiding place, I slipped back through the passages, heading toward me and Cicero's room. I would hide the other trinkets tomorrow. Right now, I just wanted to spend more time with my friend, even if it did mean admitting to him that I might have... permanently borrowed the jeweled flower from an Altmer who'd been rude to our Initiate.

Who knew someone could be so distasteful in personality, but have such good taste in trinkets? Although, having seen the contents of his wardrobe, I questioned if his taste was limited only to trinkets. Who needed that many copies of the same boring black robes? I mean, sure the silver helped a bit, but the man could really use some color in his wardrobe.

Personally, I think I did a huge favor adding the red stitches while he slept.


	47. Chapter 47

"And why should I take the time to put a door up? Are you afraid someone will come by while you and the clown are doing something?" The way the man's lip curled into a snarl, showing teeth that were just a bit sharper than they should be, almost had me taking a step back.

It was only a mix of desire to do something for my Cicero and to now show the stupidly tall Nord how much he intimidated me that had me holding my ground. That and the fact I wanted to hit him for calling Cicero a clown.

_He's a Jester, not a clown. There is a difference between the two, I will have you know. Jesters are held in respect even by the Emperor himself. The fact that our Jester is also an assassin and the Keeper should have you showing him some respect as well. That you treat him with such a lack makes me wonder if there is more wrong with our Family than just an abandoning of the Tenets. Tell me, do you treat your other Siblings so poorly?_

"What is she saying now?" He turned to Babette, looking like he would rather she not answer but knowing better than to say such with the scowl on her face.

"The Keeper is a Jester, not a clown. Remember, Astrid requested you give him the respect his title of Keeper deserves. Also, she wonders if you would treat the rest of us as you do him," the Not Child said, sounding both bored and exhausted.

Not that I could blame the vampire child, the sun having risen hours before I dragged her from her room. I'd had to spend several minutes apologizing to her and promising to spend time answering more of her questions to get her to finally agree to play translator for the male Nord.

"I treat everyone with the respect they have earned. And right now, neither the fool nor you have done anything to earn respect. You haven't even taken a contract of your own yet, just tagging along with the initiate on his contracts. And even that was only because you were told to. So no, until you have earned your place in this Sanctuary, I will not be doing you any favors," the Nord growled the words out before turning back to his forge and ignoring anything else I tried to say.

Turning to Babette, I saw her shake her head before leaving to head back to her room. Frowning, I walked away, ignoring the sound of the bellows working as the man heated up his forge to work on a new weapon for the Family. Probably yet another oversized weapon. Didn't anyone use daggers around here besides me and the Jester Assassin? What was with all the swords and axes? And what kind of assassin used a two-handed weapon to kill his target?

Stupid wolf, acting like I hadn't brought good coin into the Sanctuary. Although, to be honest, I wouldn't be shocked if the Pretender didn't bother mentioning the coin to anyone, since it hadn't come from a contract.

_Stupid me, expecting anything else from someone who has made it all too clear I'm not wanted here._

Sighing, I walked up the stairs, heading to the kitchens at a slow pace. It was only as I was passing the beds that I stopped and looked about before slipping a hand into my pouch and pulling it out again before sliding a small bundle under a pillow.

_"You're spoiling people who haven't even earned your kindness,"_ Ellery's voice came from nearby, a frown on his face when I finally saw him hiding in the shadows of a corner.

_I don't care, Ellery. They are our Family and for now, that is enough._

Smiling, I skipped forward and made my way downstairs. Time to see what the Kitchen's Master has made today.

* * *

Setting the fork down beside the empty plate, I smiled at my Jester Assassin, happy to be spending time with him again. I was determined not to leave his side so quickly this time. After having spent so many weeks beside him, the days away from him seemed to last far too long, although the company of the Initiate had helped a little. He was kind, but he just couldn't replace my sweet Cicero.

"So, did Faith have an easier time with the contract this time?" The Jester Assassin asked in a light tone, placing his own fork down after taking one last bite of the cheese-covered eggs.

Seeing the frown upon my face, he reached out and patted my head, not needing me to say a word.

"Do not worry, dear Faith. Cicero does not expect his kind friend to turn so easily into someone who kills without remorse. No, Cicero is glad that Faith would rather kill those she feels deserves it since that is what first caught his attention even more than her silence words. Cicero thinks that Faith is fine just as she is and if that means she will be picky with which contracts she takes, then that is okay. Not everyone becomes an assassin because they enjoy the kill, after all," he sang the words as he got to his feet and began clearing dirty dishes off the table and setting them on the small stand near the room's entryway.

Standing, I took a few steps toward the man, pulling mindlessly at the edges of the small hole I'd created in my shirt. I'd likely need to patch it at some point, but for now, I couldn't be bothered with such thoughts.

_Won't the Fake kick me out if I don't take enough contracts, though? She might be a Pretend Leader, but she is still the one that the other's within this Family listen to and obey. If she tells them I'm not welcome anymore..._

"If she kicks out kind Faith and they all follow her words, then we shall just have to look elsewhere for a Listener. Cicero is sure that Mother would not pick her Listener from someone who would be so cruel as to cast out someone who shows such love to Mother. In fact, he wonders at times why Mother does not simply choose sweet Faith as her Listener," he paused for a moment as the final words left his mouth before shaking his head and moving toward the shelves on the wall and grabbing one of the books I had added to the collection. "Ahh, but Mother will choose who she chooses! If she listened to Cicero's words, she would have chosen her Listener years ago and Cicero likely wouldn't even be here! Ahh, but that would be a shame since it would mean he wouldn't have met dear Faith... No, that wouldn't do at all, not at all. See? Mother knows best and that is why it is up to her to choose her Listener and not silly Cicero! Obviously Mother knew that Cicero was meant to run into Faith, just as Faith was meant to help Cicero and then join his Family! Yes, yes! Foolish Cicero, to even consider he could suggest-"

Reaching out, I gently gave the rambling man a small shake before pulling him into a hug, my hands running up and down his back as he slowly quieted. His voice had been getting so high, anxiety filling the words spilling from his lips. One hand began slowly combing through his hair as I felt his hands slowly slip around me, holding me close as he gave a shiver before leaning his head against mine. Warm breath caressed my ear as his lips brushed against skin.

"Cicero is sorry. He didn't mean to do that. Sometimes he has a hard time thinking about how long he was waiting by himself. But how he has Faith to keep him company and he can't thank her enough for being here! Mother was kind to bring sweet Faith to him when she did, when he was so close to losing his own. He hopes his Faith will be so kind as to stay by Cicero's side longer, even knowing that he might be a little... broken himself."

Pulling back just a bit, I stretched to press my lips against his forehead before pulling away again.

_I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, my dearest Cicero. After all, my Home is wherever you are._


	48. Chapter 48

Setting another book beside the rest, I stepped back to look at the small collection I had begun filling one of the empty shelves within the communal area of the Sanctuary. Of course, the books I liked most were in the room I shared with my Jester Assassin, but the rest were slowly being moved here for our siblings to be able to enjoy.

I hadn't thought about it before, but when Babette had come to get me for yet another conversation, she had mentioned that she hadn't seen some of those books outside of very private collections before... well, it only made sense to offer at least a few of them up for my Siblings to have a chance to read.

Of course, I also placed some of the more common books there, when I noticed the severe lack of reading material available since the only real notable book not locked away from everyone's touch was Sithis. And as much as I loved getting to read that book, I'm sure everyone else would appreciate something new to read.

"I see you found your way into town again. Did you have Ellery try staying behind this time? If so, was he able to maintain the distance and remain capable of interacting with the Sanctuary? What did he do while you were gone? Was he-" Babette's questions cut off as I raised a hand, silent laughter shaking my shoulders as I looked at her.

_I don't know if he stayed behind or not, but he did not accompany me. He refuses to tell me what he did, but I'm sure I will find out eventually. Sorry, but I have told you before, I do not control him any more than you control the Kitchen's Master._

"Kitchen's Master? Do you mean Nazir? Well, I guess I can understand that nickname. Do you always nickname people? What other nicknames have you given people? I've seen you call the Keeper by Jester Assassin and you've called me Not Child before. Do the nicknames always have to do with what a person is or is not?" Sometimes I felt like her curiosity knew no bounds, her questions always seeming to come in groups.

_Well, it makes sense to call people by what they are or are not. It makes it easier to keep track of the role they have in the world. Names rarely tell me who someone really is, so I rarely bother with them anymore unless the person is important to me._

"Does that mean the Keeper is important to you? I've seen you use his name sometimes. But other than him, the only ones I've seen you call by name are Ellery and Amicus, although sometimes I see you call them Jester or Assassin. Is there a reason that you swap between the two distinctions?" Her head tilted a little as she watched my reaction to her words, mostly just a slow blink followed by a shrug.

_I never really thought of it before. Huh... I'll have to think about that for a while and if I can figure it out, then I will tell you the answer if I feel like sharing it._

Patting her head with a smile, I skipped past her and back toward the room I shared with the Jester Assassin. Such a curious one, she was. And not so hard to deal with once I'd gotten used to her constant questions every time she saw me.

* * *

"Is silly Faith going to spend all of her money on books? She should really keep something for herself," my friend said as he helped clear off another shelf so I could put away the latest stash of books I had gotten my hands on.

_Don't worry, I didn't spend my money on these ones. I have something else I want to save up for._

"Oh? Did sneaky Faith swipe the books from someone? Cicero never did understand the idea of taking something from someone before you kill them," he spoke slowly, shaking his head as he wiped a rag along the wooden surface.

Grasping my sides as I chuckled at his words, I ended up wiping tears of laughter from my eyes before nudging him in the side.

_Silly man, how can I rob them again if they are dead? I mean, sure, if they are dead then they can't exactly catch me going through their stuff, but they won't replace it either. Besides, it's more of a challenge, a thrill, if there is a chance I might get caught. Not that I want to get caught, but... Well... Think of it this way, would you rather take a contract for a simple beggar with no way to defend himself or the contract for the nobleman protected by his guards? Sure the beggar would be quick and easy, but he's no challenge, right?_

"Oh, Cicero thinks he understands what Faith means, now. But he still thinks he would rather take what he wants after completing a contract and then just move on to another contract and repeat the action. After all, for Cicero, the pleasure is in the killing, not the reward. At least, not usually. There was one contract, though, where the reward was about as enjoyable as the kill," the man said softly, tugging at the tails on his cap before spinning around and tossing the rag in a corner. "Ah, but that was then and now Cicero has things he enjoys since he is not allowed contracts anymore! Like taking care of Mother and picking flowers to make her room pretty! And spending time with his kind friend Faith..."

Smiling at my sweet Cicero, I grabbed his hand and gave a soft tug, reaching out to grab his other hand and pull him into a dance.

_Then how about after we are done here, we go out and gather the prettiest flowers we can for Mother. But before that, a few minutes to dance. Just Faith and Cicero, spending time together._

Pressing his forehead against mine with a smile, he spoke softly, "Just Faith and Cicero. Yes, that sounds nice."

Pulling me closer, he began humming softly, the tune slightly broken but all the more perfect for it.


	49. Chapter 49

I slipped out of the door, having said a quick goodbye to my Cicero before heading off to gather fresh flowers while he tended to Mother. Something pretty and colorful to add to the nightshade that grew so well nearby. It would take my mind off of the bewildering behavior of our Siblings. How could they seem so polite one moment and yet to rude the next? I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Especially when it came to my poor Jester Assassin.

Sighing, I turned toward the nearby town and began picking the various flowers I found as I walked slowly down the nearby path. My mind wandered, flitting between thoughts of the books I had added to my collections as well as wondering how much longer it would be before my small investment was ready to be picked up.

I had gotten tired of trying to convince the Angry Nord to make a door for our room and had commissioned the blacksmith at Falkreath Hold to see if he could help get ahold of one and make the hinges for it. Then it would be a simple matter of getting the Angry Nord to simply put it up, rather than building one from scratch. Surely he would be willing to at least do that much if I could figure out what kind of trade he might be interested in.

Of course, that was the hard part. Out of all of the Family beside the Pretender, the Angry Nord was the hardest one to understand. The rest seemed, for the most part, easy enough to at least have some ideas about once I spent some time watching them and listening. The Kitchen Master enjoyed his cooking, as well as reading from time to time. The Not Child liked her alchemy, which reminded me to keep an eye out for any ingredients I might find during my walk, as well as some of the more notable books I had collected. The Grumpy Uncle had shown an interest in some of the more unusual trinkets I had slipped under his pillow. I'd heard him mumbling about a spell to turn people inside out, but I wasn't skilled enough in magic to help with that, although I had been keeping my eyes open for any books that might help.

The Quiet Scaled One seemed happy enough with the little treats I left on his bed so far, although I had yet to learn enough about him to know what kind of trinkets he would truly favor. The Unusual Sister was harder yet, although kind in her own manner with her odd way of speaking around me. The last time she had seen me and begun talking of broken souls and forgotten secrets, I had ended up hurrying from the room with a silent apology, not able to stop the shiver of unease that had worked its way down my spine.

The Pretender was impossible for me to understand, simply because I couldn't get my head around her total dismissal of our Mother beyond seeing her as some kind of trophy that, once attained, she wanted to have kept out of sight for some reason. It was like watching the Emperor take his crown and lock it in a chest to be forgotten instead of worn with pride.

No, it was worse than that. It was like watching someone ask the Emperor to visit and then shoving him into the most rundown, forgotten about room they could find and expecting him to stay without complaint. It was madness.

Looking down, I noticed I had ripped the last flower I picked apart, dropping the pieces and taking a deep breath to try and relax. At least I had managed to fill the basket halfway with pretty flowers, as well as a fair amount of herbs and mushrooms for Babette to have. I'd definitely lost track of time if I'd picked this many while I was thinking.

Turning around, I began heading back Home so I could help Cicero pick through and give Mother the prettiest of the flowers. The rest would join the other plants for Babette's alchemy ingredients.

* * *

I'd barely gotten to the main chamber of the Sanctuary when I heard shouting from upstairs, running toward the sound until I could make out the Pretender forcing her way into Mother's sanctum. What was going on? What reason would she have to go inside-

"Our Lady is back! She has chosen a Listener! She has chosen you! Ha ha ha! All hail the Listener!" The Jester Assassin's voice called out from within as I finally made it to the open doorway, looking at him as he stepped back from a roughed up looking Initiate.

Seeing the broken smile on my Cicero's face, I couldn't help but set the basket of flowers down quickly and hurry over to him, raising a hand up to place against his cheek and gather his attention.

_My sweet Cicero. It will be okay. Remember, even if we don't understand why she chooses as she does, Mother knows better than us and makes her choices accordingly. It might not be what we want, but it must be what we need. We... We can teach him more, help him understand, and if it comes to it... we can keep him safe. I'll do whatever I can to help keep the Listener safe for you, I promise. I won't let the time you spent waiting for him, searching for him, be in vain because that Fake Leader didn't understand his value to the Family. To you._

Pulling him into a hug, I spent a moment just holding him close before letting him pull away, although I once more cupped his cheek and turned his head to focus his attention on my lips.

_I'm sure that if she didn't need you as her Keeper so badly, Mother would have picked you instead. But even I must agree with her, there is nobody in the world who could replace you as Keeper, the one who is trusted to care for her when she needs it most. If you were lost, we would all be lost with you, and then who would be left to serve her will?_

This time, when he pulled gently away, I allowed it and instead turned to gather up the flowers that had fallen from the basket in my haste to get here. I managed to make it halfway downstairs before the first tear fell.

_Oh Mother, why did it have to be him? Why couldn't you have made Cicero your Listener and had him teach me how to Keep you? Ahh, but you must have your reasons. I should listen to my own advice and remember that every good mother has reasons for what she does, even if her children don't understand them yet._

Wiping at my eyes with my free hand, I placed the basket down near the waterfall and sat down, watching the water tumble into the pool below.

_I'm sorry, Mother. It's just a little harder than I thought it would be. I... I just want Cicero to be happy, and he was so close to crying that I couldn't stand it. If you could, please give him a reason to smile and let me do the crying for him?_


	50. Chapter 50

"Faith? Cicero would like to... apologize for how he behaved earlier," his voice wavered as he hesitated in the entryway to our room, looking at the floor as if afraid of seeing me respond to his words.

It was good that he hadn't come in before I'd had a chance to wash the tears from my face. The last thing I wanted was for him to think that he was the one who'd made me cry. No, I'd not cried because of him, but rather for him and there was a difference between the two.

Standing up from where I'd been reading Beggar, becoming engrossed in the book until my poor, sweet Cicero had come into the room, I closed the book and sat it back upon the shelves. Putting the best smile I could manage upon my lips, I turned and walked toward the man until I was but an arms reach away from him.

_My dear Jester Assassin, my Cicero, you do not need to apologize for having been upset. Even if you never spoke the words, I know how much you wished to hear Mother's voice for yourself. I don't-_

"No, no! That is not why Cicero was upset! Cicero had given up hoping for himself to hear Mother's sweet voice, even if part of him still wanted to be Listener. No, what Cicero wanted lately was for his dear Faith, who already listened so well to her friends when nobody else could or would hear them... Cicero had told Mother that it would make him happy if she would speak to kind Faith if she would not choose Cicero, for surely Faith was worthy of hearing Mother speak. But Mother did not choose Faith either, just as she hadn't chosen Cicero, and instead spoke to the Initiate," he stopped and took a deep, shuddering breath as I stood there in shock. "But Faith spoke truthfully to Cicero earlier. Only Mother knows what is needed, for only she hears the words of Sithis himself, and it is by her goodwill that she shares what she does with the Listener. She chooses a Listener based on what she knows and what the Family needs and all we can do is make sure that the one she chooses is prepared and protected as best as we can."

I didn't even move when he took a sudden step forward and wrapped his arms around me, arms lose so I could pull away if I so desired. Not that I ever would pull away from him, bringing my hands up to press against his back and hold him closer.

"Does Faith really wish to stay and help Cicero protect Mother and the Listener? Things shall be changing now and although Cicero hopes it is only for the better, he also understands that sometimes change is not always easy," he spoke as his arms finally pulled tight, fingers clenching gently against my shirt as if to make sure I wouldn't vanish from his hold.

Nodding against his shoulder, I gently pulled away and looked up into his too-bright eyes, the faintest hint of the tears he'd kept from falling still there as if waiting for him to break. I could have mouthed the words to him, told him all the reasons I would stay, but my lips would not form the shapes needed for speaking.

Instead, all I could do was watch as his eyes seemed to grow larger and brighter until I realized it was because I'd been slowly inching closer, my lips finally brushing against his. It was with a soft sigh that I felt my fingers curl gently into his hair, not stopping until I felt his fingers cup my cheeks, his own lips pulling away from me.

"Faith should not tease Cicero with such soft kisses. He has already told her he cannot offer her a forever," he said, a sad smile on his face as he stepped back, his arms falling to his sides.

_Sometimes what I want and what I need are not the same thing. It just... takes me a while to figure out the difference between the two. I do not need a forever, no. Not if it means I lose my chance to be with you. Just... Is it okay if we take things slowly?_

Looking down, I plucked at the loose threads of my shirt as it unraveled even more, my cheeks burning hot from the blush covering them. The silence that followed my words began to grow heavy, squeezing my eyes shut as my fingers twitched. I felt a growing need to stitch something, anything. My arms, my legs, the most recent hole in my shirt, the new cap I'd begun working on for Ellery. Anything to make the silence stop creeping so maddeningly across my mind like this.

"If Faith wishes to go slowly, Cicero will be okay with that, so long as his pretty Faith doesn't mind him stealing kisses from time to time," the soft whisper floated through the room as I felt my lips curve upward in a relieved smile, his fingers tracing slowly along my jaw before warm lips brushed so very gently against my cheek.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Faith. I know you wanted to stay here longer, but if Cicero himself is insisting I take you... Well, at least it's only for one contract again, right? And Nazir said Half-Moon Mill is close, so it should be done and over quickly, even if the guy is supposed to be a vampire. I mean, how hard could it be?" The Initia- the Listener chuckled in a painful attempt at lightening the mood.

_Babette says she's been around for three hundred years and she was turned as a child. This one is a full-grown man and if we are lucky he will be alone, his mate busy elsewhere. If we are not, then we have two vampires to deal with. We cannot afford to take chances, Listener. You are too important to risk. As it is, I don't like you going to Morthal on your own, but Cicero will want to hear how this contract went and I will not leave him worrying just to watch you kill a bard. Just... hurry back when you finish so we can see you are safe._

"I'm sorry... I'm just not used to people worrying about me. I promise I won't take any unneeded risks, not with this contract or the other two," he mumbled, his head lowered as he avoided meeting my gaze.

_What do you mean 'the other two'? I thought it was just the vampire and the bard! What other contract did they give you that you didn't tell me about earlier?_

"Oh... Um, there was one for an Argonian as well? Up near a shipwreck or something, I think. I have it written down in my book, I can-" he was rambling and reaching into his pack when I cut him off with a soft shove to his chest, catching him by surprise.

_Wait here. I need to tell Cicero I'll be gone longer than expected. You are not going up against an Argonian on your own. Especially near a shipwreck. What would you do if they dive into the water? No, we will take care of the water-breather first and then go after the vampire. Then I'll come back Home to tell Cicero while you go after the bard._

Sighing, I turned back toward the Door we had only left minutes ago, not looking forward to having to see the Pretender again so soon after leaving. Shoulders slumping, I turned my head just long enough to mouth one last phrase at the Listener.

_I'll be right back..._

At least I could see my lovely Cicero one more time before I had to leave for even longer than initially expected.


	51. Chapter 51

I ignored the Pretender's questions other than to hand her the note detailing the deaths of the two targets, as well as the additional death of the vampire's mate after she'd walked into the house at the wrong moment. It wasn't as if the female Nord would understand my answers anyhow since she'd made it clear enough times that she didn't read lips and had no desire to learn.

No, I would be shocked if anyone bothered to learn beyond those select few who had already learned the skill before I'd even met them. I'd discovered my feelings to be confusingly mixed about that, as well. On one hand, I liked having just a small circle who could read my lips, allowing me a feeling of privacy when I spoke to them or my companions. It was only a small part of me that yearned to have a Family that cared enough for more of them to learn how to communicate with me without needing to pull out parchment and ink or charcoal.

Well, if they ever bothered to put two and two together and realize that reading books meant that writing was a valid form of communication. It was amusing at times to wonder at how long it would take them to figure that one out. Of course, it would probably help if I used notes with them myself, but where would the fun be in that? Besides, dragging someone along to translate for me was an opportunity for us to bond, even if it wasn't the most enjoyable way to do so.

That and it was fun to annoy the others when Babette's version of translating would take several sentences and compress them into one, leaving them wondering what I had really said. Sometimes I would even catch Nazir muttering about it hours later.

"Fine, but don't get too comfortable. Once the initiate comes back, be ready to leave again. For now, try not to make trouble. The Keeper does that enough when you're gone," she said before turning away to sit at the desk, pulling out a book and beginning to read.

_Well, maybe if you didn't make me leave so often, he wouldn't make so much trouble for you._

Lifting my pack back over my shoulder, I stumbled slightly before catching myself and heading down the stairs, using the wall for support. Of course, it would be easier if my pack didn't weigh so much, but I couldn't come Home without gifts for my Family! I'd even found a trinket I thought the Growly Nord might like and I wasn't about to leave that behind!

"It's about time you got back. The foo- the _Keeper _has been even more annoying than usual for the past few days. You're the only one he'll listen to other than the Listener, so do something if you would. Before he drives _me _insane," the Kitchen Master spoke from where he'd been chatting with the Scaled One.

Shifting my pack again, I began walking slowly across the chamber, making my way toward the stairs that would take me to my Cicero. Before I even got halfway there, a wild cackle echoed through the room and my Jester Assassin flew down the stairs.

"Home again, home again! Sweet Faith has returned to her Cicero!" He shouted the words before stopping just in time to wrap his arms around me and lift me up to spin me around.

The moment he felt me flinch, he froze and slowly sat me back on my feet, stepping back from me as he reached out and removed the pack from my shoulder. Staring into my eyes, he placed the pack down and moved his hands to each side of my face, not letting me look away no matter how much I wanted to. By the time he started talking, I couldn't have looked away anyhow, already sinking into his gaze.

"Why is dear Faith hurt? What happened to the potions the Unchild gave her in case Faith was injured? Cicero made sure she took extra when he found out she was going on two contracts with the Listener. What happened that Faith comes back still wounded?" It was only now that his hands lowered to start tugging me along with him, heading toward the stairs as he began calling for the Not Child.

_I'm sorry, my Cicero. I didn't mean to get hurt so much. We ran into a little trouble with the vampire contract. The Listener did his best to bandage up what the potions didn't heal, but there were not enough for both of us to fully recover and it was more important for the Listener to be in full health since he still had a contract to complete._

"The vampire contract? Was Faith bitten? Did she use a cure disease potion? Does she still need one? What of the Listener? Is he okay? No, no, of course he is or Faith would have brought him home. But what of dear Faith? Will she be okay? Unchild!" He shouted once more for our Sister as he shifted his attention between me and the stairs as we reached the top, the Not Child standing a few paces away with her hands filled by different colored bottles.

"You can stop shouting. I have everything that she should need. Including a cure disease. Luckily I had a couple on hand just in case the need arose. I take it you gave the one I sent with you to the Listener?" She sighed at my nod, handing over one of the bottles. "I figured as much, not that I don't understand your reasoning. Let's go take a look at your injuries so I can make sure there are no surprises waiting for us."

Following her slowly to her room, I turned my head toward Cicero as soon as I finished downing the potion. I was thankful for it, knowing I never would have been able to afford one with the small amount of coin I'd had on me.

_I'm so sorry, Cicero. I tried to be careful like you asked but... the female caught us by surprise. We'd thought she had left. We... I was wrong._

"Shh. Pretty Faith should just worry about getting better. She can worry about being more careful next time. For now, just let the Unchild do what she can and Cicero will take care of sweet Faith afterward," I could hear the hint of anxiety in his voice, even if he tried to hide it, the slight rhythm to his words letting me know how he really felt.

_Of course, my dearest Cicero. I will drink her potions and then do whatever you think will help. For you, I'd even eat stew with extra carrots in it. And I'll eat all the carrots, every one of them. I promise I will._

Reaching out, I paused my steps just long enough to pull him in for a quick kiss, my lips barely brushing against his before I pulled away and smiled at him. I would do anything I could to put a true smile back on my love's face.

"Then while the Unchild tends to sweet Faith, Cicero will go see to making his best stew for darling Faith to eat before she rests for the night. With extra, extra carrots for her to enjoy!" As soon as I sat on the stone bed in the Not Child's room, he pressed his forehead against mine with a soft smile, pulling back moments later to press his lips against the spot.

With a soft laugh, he turned and danced his way out of the room, leaving our Sister to look at me quietly for a moment before shaking her head.

"He seems to function better when you are around, but I think seeing you hurt like this does him no good. I'll pack you a few extra potions next time. Hopefully, it will be a while before you need to leave again so he can regain some of his... stability," Babette said quietly, handing me one potion after another as she watched me drink each one in turn.

_Your leader wishes me to prepare to leave again as soon as the Listener returns from his last contract. I can only hope that it will not be a lengthy contract again and I can return quickly to see to my Cicero._

"I noticed that you are both being affectionate with each other now. Is this by mutual choice?" She spoke softly, pausing as she held the last bottle in her hands, eyes narrowed as she waited for me to answer.

_I took a chance and let him know of my feelings for him. I was lucky enough that he said yes and will let me see where these feelings might take us. But the true blessing is that he might feel the same way._

"You are unsure of his feelings for you?" She seemed surprised at my words.

_If he cares for me as I do for him or if he is simply willing to let me give him my love until our paths no longer run side by side, it is not under my control. I shall take what he will allow me to have and that shall be enough for me._

Taking the last potion, I downed it and handed the empty bottle back to her before turning to leave the room. I stopped in the doorway just long enough to send her a quick smile.

_If I am lucky, my love will care for me enough to let me stay with him until Sithis takes our souls to the Void. If not, then I shall just have to treasure my time with him that much more during the days that I am still allowed to call him mine. Perhaps, if Mother is kind enough, she will let me find him there in the Void, so that I may stand beside him again. Even if it ends up only as a friend._


	52. Chapter 52

I curled up against the warmth next to me, reaching out to try and grab at it before being stopped by the layers of blanket that separated the warm object from myself. Slowly blinking away some of the haziness of sleep, I looked in front of me to see my Cicero draped halfway across the bed with the rest of him slowly slipping out of the chair he'd fallen asleep in. I didn't even try to hide my smile as I reach my hand out of the blankets and gave him a gentle shake to the shoulder that I'd been curling up near, looking down into those warm honey-toned eyes as they began fluttering open.

_My sweet Cicero, you fell asleep in the chair. You should get in bed. You'll hurt your back sleeping like that._

"Mmm, 'kay Fay. Cicero's still tired," he slurred as he pushed himself up before slumping forward again, his legs curling up as he draped himself across my bed.

At least he wasn't climbing under the covers in his daze, but it wouldn't do for him to get a chill either. Slowly, I worked one of the blankets out from under him before covering his exhausted form with it, leaning over to press a kiss to his forehead.

_Sleep well, my treasure._

Laying back down, I curled one arm over his side and fell back into my dreams. Dreams filled with soft laughter and slow dances across a field of flowers.

* * *

I'd spent the day trying to convince the Angry Nord to teach me how to fix the ceiling, explaining that he wouldn't have to do the actual work if he could just show me how to do it myself, but the man was stubborn to a fault.

I'd gotten so upset, I'd nearly ended up throwing the trinket I'd found at him instead of tucking it under one of the shields he had been working on. For a moment, I'd worried that he'd caught me, but he'd ended up frowning more before simply turning back to his anvil and hammering away at the glowing hot metal he'd been working on.

_Someday... someday this Family will become a real family, right? They'll come around, won't they Mother?_

"Don't expect anything to happen quickly. Change takes time and some of them resist the change that is coming," Ellery muttered as he jumped down from the ledge as I walked past. "Their leader is not going to let power slip from her grasp without a fight."

_That makes sense. People in power do not like having to give it up. But Mother is the real leader of this Family and the Listener is her voice. It doesn't make sense to ignore either of them and the False Leader will just have to figure out her new place in the Family. It isn't like we want her gone or will not acknowledge her seniority in the Family. She just needs to accept that change is happening. Of course, it would be easier if she had a better attitude toward those she didn't hand-pick for her Family._

"Yes, well, she doesn't and you aren't. Neither is the Keeper and it shows. Especially when you are gone with the Listener. She's going to break him if something doesn't happen to stop it first," I felt my blood run cold at his words, looking up to stare into his own worried eyes.

_What do you mean break him?_

"When you're gone, sometimes he wonders to himself if you are real. He's been alone too long before meeting you and as much as you heal him, he doesn't have anything to hold him together when his cracks start to grow. He has nothing like your stitches to keep him from falling apart at the seams."

* * *

Three days later, the Listener returned and made his way to Mother's chamber in silence. My Jester Assassin and I stood and welcomed him Home, even though we both knew it meant I would be expected to leave with the young man as soon as the Pretender gave the order and he was ready. If she hadn't given the order already.

"Listener! Are you able to complete Mother's request now? Has the Pretender finally decided to listen to Mother's order and send you off to take the contract?" The sing-song quality of his voice had me reaching over to grab his hand as we stood together before walking over to the Listener.

"Astrid said she wants me and Faith to head over and see if the contract is real or not. I'm sorry. I know you two haven't had much time together," he said, lowering his head guiltily as he saw our hands clasped together. "So you're finally together, huh? Knew it wouldn't take much longer."

Reaching out, I patted the Listener on the head and grinned at him when he raised his eyes.

_Don't worry. We'll go as Mother has asked. Now, where is this contract petitioner waiting for us?_

"Volunruud. He waits somewhere called Volunruud. Astrid marked it on my map for me," he said, pulling his map out and unfolding it to point at a mark on the upper section of the parchment. "Here, over in this area. It's in The Pale hold, some ruins kinda like the ones we've already gone to. But I've never been to this one, so I don't know what we should expect, Faith. What if you get hurt again? What if we don't have enough potions to heal us both?"

_Then we heal you as much as we can and then get me healed enough to have you take me to the nearest town. And if we can't do that... then we heal you and you leave me behind._

I made sure my Cicero couldn't see my lips when I spoke those words. I wouldn't let him see me ever speak those words, even if we both knew that I would sacrifice myself for the Listener if it came to it. Just as I knew he would do the same if it was a choice between him and the Listener or him and Mother.

There was a difference between knowing it and having it spoken in front of you. I would not put him through that pain if I could keep it from him. It would be painful enough if the sacrifice ever needed to be made, for whichever of us was left behind.

_Come, let us all prepare for the trip. And Cicero, come with us. I have something I want to give to you that I picked up when I went out yesterday._

* * *

"A ring! A ring! A pretty ring for sweet Cicero to remember that he is cared for, even when his dear Faith isn't there to tell him!"


	53. Chapter 53

"So when did you get him the ring? And when is he going to get you one?" The Listener's sudden question caught me by surprise, leaving me a blushing mess as I waved my hands around in shock.

_Huh? Oh, well, I had it for a bit now. It had an interesting design but it was too big for me to wear and it didn't have any enchantments on it, so I put it in my pouch and forgot about it for a while._

"But it was enchanted when you gave it to him. Did you have Festus enchant it for you? Or maybe Gabriella? She can enchant things, right? Err, at least, I think she can?" The Listener interrupted me as he blurted out the words before hushing again, his face turning red as he blushed at the look of frustration on my face.

_As I was saying, I'd forgotten about it, but when Ellery spoke of how my Cicero was beginning to wonder if I was even real when we were gone from Home... Well, I began trying to think of something I could do to remind him he was not alone anymore and, while I was looking in my pouch to find where my yellow thread had gone to, I saw the ring sitting in the bottom next to some buttons._

With a smile, I patted my favorite pouch. It had served me well over the years since I'd stitched it together from scraps of leather and cloth.

_Of course, I couldn't just hand it to him as it was. I had to make sure it was worthy of someone as wonderful as he is, so I spent a day and went hunting to fill the soul gem I bought. I didn't dare use one of the ones in the Sanctuary since I just know the Pretender would have held that against me. No, no, I would not give her any chance to try and lay even the slightest claim upon the ring and take it from my poor Cicero. I will not let her break him while I am not there to keep her away from him!_

I'd begun pacing back and forth across the path in from of the Listener, no longer walking forward toward our destination. I was far too agitated with the thought of what the False Leader might be doing while we were away.

_Ahh, but she has no claim so if she tries to take it, it will be breaking a Tenet and I am sure it is one that even the other members of the Family will not ignore. No, even they will not let theft go unquestioned. No, the ring is for Cicero, to keep him safe while I am gone as much as to keep him from breaking. It is the closest I can get to stitching him together again. I don't think he would want to have stitches, even if he seems to like my own._

I frowned for a moment, hands coming up to grasp my arms as I stopped pacing and looked up into Destin's eyes with something that could almost be called a smile.

_Most people... don't approve of my stitches, but he called them pretty when he saw them._

"When you love someone, it becomes easy to see that which makes them beautiful," he whispered, looking off into the distance.

I never bothered telling him that I didn't expect a ring of my own from my Jester Assassin. If I didn't expect it, then it wouldn't hurt to not get one. Besides... that wasn't why I gave it to him. Straightening my shoulders, I once more began walking down the path, the Listener following behind as he led his worn-out horse along with him.

* * *

Of course! Of course, the crypt just had to have skeletons and Not Dead Things active within, leaving me worried that maybe the petitioner had been injured during the excessive wait the Pretender had kept them here for. If something had happened to the man, I would never forgive her for it!

Looking down at the skeleton we had just defeated, I saw the edges of a book poking out from under its ribcage, leaning down to pick it up after glancing about to make sure nothing else waited to jump out from the shadows. Peeking within the pages, I frowned for a moment before a grin slipped across my lips.

_Well, well, how interesting... I wonder what kind of trinkets there might be to find within such a place as this particular crypt. Ahh, but it will have to wait. For now, we have a man to find and Mother's words are more important than trinkets and relics._

Shoving the book into my pack, I turned and followed the Listener down the stairs, watching for any sign of movement. There would be time later to check for trinkets, even if it meant coming back at another time.

"Do Amicus or Ellery have any ideas which way we should go? There's a lot of options here and I don't see anything that makes one path look more accurate than any others," he said as he glanced around the room, hand rubbing at the back of his head nervously as the other rested on the grip of his sword.

I looked at him in shock for a moment, since he'd never asked for my companions' opinions before. In fact, other than Cicero and the Not Child, nobody had asked for their thoughts, ideas, or opinions before. Not about anything. It felt odd, but at the same time pleasant, to know the Listener had joined that small group who had come to acknowledge my dear companions.

_Ellery, have you seen anything that might suggest where Mother's prayer was performed?_

_"Give me a minute to check the other passages. But I can tell you it is not either of those two,"_ he said as he peered curiously at the Listener, waving his arm at the North and Northeast pathways as he walked past us toward the tunnel in the southwest wall.

_Not those two._

I pointed in the direction of the pathways Ellery had pointed out, knowing most likely he had already been checking for signs of battle or at least recent disturbance. That meant most likely this place rarely saw exploration, making my desire to return for trinkets grow.

"Okay. He checkin' the others? Should we help? I mean, I don't want him to think I'm not willing to do my part. He's part of the team and I really appreciate the help, but he doesn't have to do it alone. Besides, it's not fair if he's the only one taking risks here," he said as he began walking toward the southeast passage, his teeth worrying at his lower lip as he moved past me.

I reached out and grabbed his arm, a smile on my face as I brought my hand up to pat his head.

_Silly Listener. If Ellery didn't want to help, he wouldn't go check the other rooms for us. Besides, the Not Dead ignore him as much as most people do, so he is least likely to be hurt if something is waiting. But thank you for being concerned. Amicus and I appreciate that you care about our Ellery enough to worry._

_"Faith, over here. There are bodies here, those dead things you hate, and a door with people talking on the other side. Well, one person is talking... a lot. I think he just likes to hear himself talk,"_ Ellery called from just inside the tunnel he'd entered, the gold of his motley shining in the torchlight.

With a grin, I grabbed Destin's arm and began running toward the tunnel, happy to see what kind of person would pray to our Mother.

_This way, my Brother! My Listener, Mother's prayer happened over here!_


	54. Chapter 54

_And then the Petitioner handed the Listener the letter and gaudy amulet before turning away to talk to his bodyguard some more, so we left him alone and made ready to come back Home again. Now we are here and I wish to get some rest after seeing how Mother and my Cicero are doing._

I tapped my fingers against my thigh as I leaned against the wall, waiting for the Not Child to 'translate' my words to the Pretender.

"She brought a letter from Motierre, as well as an amulet that I assume is an advance on payment?" Seeing me nod at her question, she turned back to Astrid and continued. "After that, she and the Listener returned and would like to rest after their travels."

"Very well. Leave the letter and amulet behind. I will speak to you both when I have gone over the information and made my decision," the Pretender said, quickly grabbing the letter and necklace from his hand as soon as the Listener produced it before turning and proceeding to ignore the both of us.

Grabbing my Listener's hand, I pulled him behind me as I led us down the stairs and through the main chamber, eager to get back to our Mother's presence. I was sure my Cicero would also be there with her, taking care of her and keeping her company.

Turning just long enough to grin back at the Listener, I was happy to see a small smile on his own face. Perhaps he was also finally starting to feel like he had Family here in me and Cicero, as well as Mother. The thought made me even happier, feeling like maybe I really could turn those within this Family into treasures, rather than simply calling them such and hoping it came true someday.

Climbing the stairs and running through the passages until we stood in front of the iron doors, I bounced on my feet as I knocked and waited for my sweet Cicero to unlock the door. Hearing footsteps rushing through the room, I felt the grin on my face grow even larger. Home, I was finally home again!

The moment the doors were unlocked and opened, I lept forward at the man who stood there with his eyes wide, my arms wrapping around him as I pressed our foreheads together. Even with as quickly as we had hurried back, deciding to return another time to check the rest of the crypt, it had been far too long since I had been able to enjoy being so close to my love. To just feel his breath sweep across my face, his arms wrap around me, to look into his eyes and be happy.

"Cicero missed this, lovely Faith. He's very glad that his heart has returned to him," he whispered as he brought his hands up to my cheeks, pulling away just long enough to look at me before he was stealing a kiss from my lips.

* * *

The Angry Nord had finally agreed to help me patch the ceiling, although he refused to tell me why. The Not Child simply grinned at me and walked off when I asked her if she knew what had changed his mind, leaving me to wonder if she had said or done something while I was gone. Either way, at least it ended with a room that would be warmer at night. Especially once the weather grew colder.

Of course, the mess that I'd had to clean up once we were finished and he left had taken quite some time, but luckily my Jester Assassin had been kept busy by the Listener asking for lessons. The work was worth it to see my Cicero's face when he came into a clean room, the ceiling patched and the air finally holding onto the warmth finally beginning to build as it could no longer escape outside.

Now I just needed to convince him to attach the door, since I'd finally gotten word that it was ready.

"My Faith, is there something Cicero should know? Faith has a look on her face that makes Cicero wonder what is hiding up her sleeves," he said, tucking my hair behind my ear as he sat down beside me on the bed.

Smiling, I leaned forward to kiss his cheek before pulling back and leaning against his side.

_Don't worry, my Cicero. I'm just trying to make our Home into a home as well. Because you deserve better than what you were given, just as Mother does. I'm just doing my best to change what I can, for you and for her, but it takes time._

"Cicero will wait, then. He understands that some things are worth waiting for. After all, if he hadn't waited before coming to Skyrim, then he wouldn't have run into lovely Faith and then he would have lost his chance to share his days with her. Mother truly knew best when she brought Faith and Cicero together. Oh yes, Mother definitely has rewarded Cicero for his hard work in her name," he smiled happily, curling up against me with a gleeful laugh.

A few hours later, we had both fallen asleep, facing each other on the bed with our faces just inches apart and fingers intertwined.


	55. Chapter 55

We were once again sent out of the Sanctuary as soon as we had a chance to rest for a couple of days, tasked with heading to Riften to visit the thieves guild to have the gaudy amulet appraised. Apparently the Pretender knew one of the members, the way she phrased it leaving me wondering if he was an old lover or an old Family member who had somehow left the Brotherhood without cutting ties. Or having his own throat cut to ensure no secrets were told.

I guess leaving didn't always come hand in hand with death, how odd. I would have thought that once one was in the Family, they were in for their entire life. It seemed strange to think it might be otherwise for some. Or maybe it was something unique to this branch of the Family and their fall from the Tenets?

Of course, it could simply be a way to allow some members to "retire" and keep them connected enough to use as their ears in places they could not always be. Yes, that might be it. There was some potential in that idea.

"I wish she would let you spend more time at the Sanctuary. It's not fair that she makes you follow me around so much and lose time with Cicero. I can tell he misses you when you are gone," the Listener said, keeping the horse to a steady pace as we traveled along the pathway. "Ah well, at least we're heading to Riften. I'll get to show you around some while we are there."

Tapping his shoulder to get him to turn around, I raised my eyebrow at him.

_You've been there before? What is it like?_

"Oh, yeah, you weren't there when I joined. My first contract, before I even joined up, was in Riften. There was a boy, you see... An orphan like me, but he ran away from the orphanage he was sent to because the mistress in charge of it was cruel. She beat the children and... well, he asked me to kill Grelod and when I did, Astrid found me and gave me an invitation to join the Brotherhood. Ah, but you want to know what it's like! Well," he paused for a moment, one hand coming to rub at his chin as he thought. "It's thick with thieves and ruffians, but it's not a bad place all around. There is a marketplace where you can find interesting trinkets sometimes, but avoid the stuff Bryn sells. That one is just plain troublesome, no matter how charming he behaves. There's the inn, of course, and although the innkeeper has a bit of an attitude, she runs a nice place. There are a lot of good people in Riften and it would take me all day to tell you about them. I would rather show you when we get there!"

I gave my usual silent laugh as I patted his shoulder playfully.

_Then let us keep moving! I'm eager to see this place that you seem to like so much! I also want to see the one you would call charming... Ahh! Look at how you blush!_

* * *

"Don't even start with the visitor's tax, man. I've already busted you on that one and Faith isn't about to fall for it either," the Listener sighed as he walked toward the gates, tapping his foot as he waited for the guard to stop fumbling with his keys and open the way into town.

"Shh! I'm just tryin' ta make a livin' the same as anyone else. Ya think they pay us a decent wage here? Now hurry along afore someone hears ya!" The guard likely would have pushed us through if not for my Listener sending a glare at the man as soon as he took a step in our direction, flinching back and just waving for us to hurry past already.

As soon as the gate shut behind us, the Listener began muttering.

"As if a guard needs to worry about putting food on his plate. They get a wage, plus food and shelter for their duty and yet he dares act like he's living a hard life," he growled, stalking forward down the path toward the center of town.

Grabbing his arm, I pulled him to a halt and looked up into his eyes. Why did everyone around me have to be taller than I was? Babette was the only one I didn't have to look up at, it seemed.

_Maybe he does not seek to provide for himself, but instead for his family or a loved one. You should not judge his reasons before you know them, Listener. Not everyone seeks coin for their own use._

Sighing, his shoulders slumped as he shook his head.

"That still doesn't make what he is doing right... But I will think on what you have said. Let's go, the Ratway is down here," the Listener grabbed my hand and turned back down the pathway, leading me toward a bridge that passed over the waterway below. "I'll give you the tour after we finish up below."

* * *

"Well, well, I didn't expect to see you here again. What dragged you back into the Ragged Flagon, huh? Did Brynjolf sweet talk you into returning?" The bald Imperial chuckled as he sat at the table, a tankard of mead in front of him.

Blushing, the Listener shook his head and sat down across from the man, pulling out the cloth-wrapped amulet.

"No, Delvin. We came here on Astrid's request. She said you could appraise this," he spoke quietly, slipping the package across the table.

"Ahh, is that where you slipped off to so quietly... Brynjolf was pretty upset when you vanished, you know. He wondered if he'd said something to upset you after the mess with Mercer kicking you out. Not your fault you weren't meant for thieving," the man said as he grabbed the bundle and began pulling the layers away. "Well, what do we have here? Who'd you have to kill to get... No, no, I don't want to know. This, my boy, is an amulet of the Emperor's Elder Council. Specially crafted for each member. Worth a small fortune. Ain't somethin' you'd give up lightly. Don't know where you got this but it's not really my business what the Dark Brotherhood is up to these days. However, if you killed a member of the Elder Council-"

Slamming my hand down on the table to get the man's attention, I frowned down at him before taking a seat.

_You're right, the Brotherhood's business is not your business, except for where we have dealings like this. In which, your business is strictly whether or not you are willing to buy the gaudy thing and how much you are willing to pay._

"Oh, and what do we have here? Haven't seen a silent talker in some time now. Give me a moment, I'm a bit rusty," the man scowled as he closed his eyes in thought. "I think I got the gist of what you said. A bit rude, but you have a point. Best not to question things. If I don't know, then they can't pin me, right? As for the amulet, yes, I'm willing to buy it. Let me get the letter of credit ready. She'll know what to do with it."

"Lad! Is that you?" A voice shouted from behind us, the Listener jumping in surprise before turning slowly around in his seat.

_Oh, this must be the charming Bryn. I recognize that blush on your face, dear Listener._

"Did you just say Listener?" The bald man said as he slid the note across the table, the gaudy amulet already vanished into one of his pockets.


	56. Chapter 56

_Well, my Listener, that was an interesting way to spend the afternoon. I didn't know you had spent so much time in Riften or that you had tried your hand at being a thief. You know, if you want, I can teach you a few tricks when we get home._

"Ahh, well, things got complicated after the whole thing with being kicked out. I mean, not my fault I'm better at sneaking around than actually stealing stuff. At least I don't need to pick locks and pockets nowadays, but sometimes I miss the guys, ya know?" He sighed wistfully as we made our way toward the stables. "Besides, you're great at that kinda thing so I can just ask you to do that instead. Oh! Hey, don't you go leaving us to join up with the Guild, you hear me? We need you more than they do anyhow!"

_As if I would leave my Cicero, Mother, and you to go join up with your old group. Besides, they don't look like they are doing much better than the Pretender was doing before we came by. But now we have a real contract for the Family to work on! Or rather, a series of contracts and that is even better! There should be enough for everyone to take part in this one! Anyhow, you're the one with the crush on the enthusiastic redhead. If anyone should be worried about someone running off, it should be me._

"Argh! Stop it! He isn't even interested. He just sees me as a friend, that's all," he said, a frown on his face.

_Are you sure about that, my Listener? Ah well, it isn't like we have time right now for you to court the man. More importantly, we need to talk about the Imperial that works with him. The man knows too much about the Family for him to just be a friend of Astrid. How else would he know what it means to be Listener or about our Mother? We need to be cautious. If Astrid is letting outsiders know of the Tenets that is a problem. But if he was once part of the Family, then that is a different matter. The problem lies in finding out which it is!_

We paused as the Listener went to collect his horse from the stables, handing the stablehand an extra few coins for taking care of his horse. Climbing up behind Destin as he sat in the saddle, I frowned at the thoughts spinning inside my head.

_"I'll do what I can to help figure this out, but you owe me for the effort Faith. You still owe me that cap, don't forget. You've been spending far less time on the latest try than usual. Don't I matter to you still?"_ Ellery spoke as he got ready to follow behind us, a frown on his face.

_I haven't forgotten, my Ellery. I promise I'll work on it as soon as we stop for the evening! I won't let you down, not this time. You'll always matter to me. After all, without you and Amicus, I never would have found my Family, my treasures. You two will always be important, no matter what happens._

_"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth finding them, even if the Fool does make you happy..."_

_Oh Ellery, don't say that. Please, don't ever doubt that it was a good thing. Haven't we all been happier since finding our treasure, our Cicero? Even you? Haven't you been smiling more? Laughing more? Haven't you been happy again?_

"Faith? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

* * *

The trip back home went slowly, the silence growing heavy as the Listener seemed unsure of what to say. It was a strange thing, to feel so uncomfortable around someone who had so recently managed to slip into the small group that I considered a part of the family I was slowly building from the Family I had become part of.

It hurt to think that Ellery was doubting our choice to join them, that he might even think about possibly leaving them. Would he leave me if I refused to abandon them? Would Amicus go with him or would he stay with me? I was unsure and the thought that even one of my companions would choose to go rather than stay with me if it meant remaining with the Brotherhood.

I need to change the stitches. Something different. Something stronger, to hold everything together. Maybe if the pattern is right, it could hold my family together?

"Faith? Are you cold? You're shivering," the voice seemed to come from far away, even though I knew the Listener was right in front of me. "Faith?"

* * *

The days were passing too quickly, the pages of my journal no longer able to keep track for me. I would swear it was just yesterday I had written in it about what Ellery said, but when I checked the date with the Listener, he said I hadn't written in it for a few days now.

I'd begun removing stitches when the Listener went to bed last night... Last night or the night before? Oh, Ellery, why won't you talk to me right now? I'd removed the stitches from one leg, rubbing them with salve before going to sleep. I should be able to start replacing the stitches tomorrow.

I think this time I will make the pattern something like a web I saw once, caught between a pair of branches with drops of dew caught upon the strands. I'd heard webs were very strong for how thin the spider silk is and I needed strength. Surely if I stitched it strong enough, it wouldn't let us break apart.

_Don't let my family break. Ellery, don't leave us._


	57. Chapter 57

"Faith? Sweetness? Cicero needs you to come back to him. Please?" I felt warm hands slowly cup my face, my eyes blinking open as I woke up to find my Jester Assassin and the Listener both knelt before me as I leaned against the rocky wall just outside the Sanctuary.

Cicero? Listener? How did we get back so quickly? We were just passing Ivarstead, weren't we? Or was that Helgen? We were going to sneak past Helgen again, right?

"Faith, we skirted past Helgen two days ago, but then you refused to get back on the horse. Heck, when we got here, you wouldn't even come inside. I had to go in and get Cicero. Do you know how hard it was to get past Astrid without her asking too many questions? Luckily she was distracted by the letter from Delvin, but that will only last for so long, Faith. Please, come inside with us?" The Listener spoke quickly but quietly, his eyes wide as he looked at me strangely.

I don't remember that... Why don't I remember? I thought I'd stopped losing days again. Did Ellery take the days with him when he... No, no, he said he was just going back home, that he wasn't leaving me. He didn't leave me, did he?

"Sweet Faith? Did something happen with Ellery? Why would he leave alone to come back to the Sanctuary? Did Ellery have an argument with dear Faith? Cicero doesn't understand," the Jester Assassin slowly leaned forward to press his forehead gently against my own.

Reaching up with both hands, I grasped at his shoulders and couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

I don't know, my Cicero. He just got so upset all of a sudden. We'd been talking about the Pretender and the bald Imperial she sent us to, how he knew things he shouldn't. Then suddenly he got upset because I hadn't been working much on his cap because I was focusing so much on you and the Family and going on contracts and I've barely even finished a cap since I arrived, Cicero! How can I make him happy if I'm not even keeping my promise to him? He thinks I'm forgetting about him...

"Sweetness, Faith... Of course not. Faith could never forget about her Ellery. He has been with her for too long to just forget him. Perhaps if dear Faith and Cicero spent a day with Ellery? We could talk while Faith stitches his cap together? Does Faith think that would put a smile back on Ellery's face?" He ran his fingers through my hair, looking at me with a lingering sadness in his eyes, but still a small smile was on his lips.

I pulled him into a hug, nodding my head into his shoulder. I wasn't sure about it, but I would try anything to get my Ellery to forgive me. Maybe he would understand how much I needed him. And how impossible it was to choose between him or Cicero... I couldn't make that choice.

Maybe once, back before I had given my heart to the man, to my sweet Jester Assassin, but not anymore. Just the thought of having to choose between them was enough to begin pulling at the stitches holding me together. I needed to finish the new stitches, before the ones in my mind gave out.

"Faith? You're trembling... Let Cicero help you get inside," he said as he wrapped an arm around my legs and another slipped under my shoulders, lifting me gently from the ground. "Cicero will take care of his Faith. He won't let her break, he promises."

* * *

I could hear the Pretender again, arguing quietly with the Listener as he blocked her from entering the room. Turning back toward the candlelight, I tried to hold the needle steady as I continued the line of stitches. I paused to take a steadying breath for a moment before putting needle to cloth once more, already knowing that this cap would be refused but determined to try anyhow. I owed it to Ellery to at least try.

"If lovely Faith needs to take a break, Cicero is willing to try talking with Ellery again. He's sure that Ellery would be willing to speak with Faith at least, if not with Cicero as well. Cicero doesn't want his sweet Faith to hurt her fingers again because she was tired from sewing for so long," my Jester Assassin said as he scooted up behind me on the bed, leaning carefully against my back as he watched my hands, his arms wrapping around my waist.

Sighing, I set my hands down to rest in my lap, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

I'm not sure what to do, my Cicero. Ellery spends so much time away from me since we returned. And he refuses to talk to anyone but Amicus, whispering to him so I can't even hear what he says. I... I feel like I'm losing him, except that Amicus insists Ellery won't leave us behind. Still, I can't help but worry that, even if he stays, he will not be mine any longer.

"Don't be stupid. If I'm not yours, who's would I be? Foolish Faith, do you really think I would leave you just because I got upset? Do you even know how many times I would have left if that was the case?" Ellery grumbled as he entered the room, his arm lowering from the gesture he'd made as he passed the False Leader.

Ellery! You're talking to me again? Did... Did you forgive me for upsetting you this time, then?

"No, but I also don't want you thinking I'm going to leave you. You should know better than that by now, Faith. You're smarter than this. If you can't pick us over him, if it is really too late for that... then I shall simply have to make sure he doesn't take more of your attention than he deserves to have," my Jester crossed his arms as he looked down at the cap sitting within my lap, a dark brow raised as he frowned at the shaky stitching. "Oh, Faith. You can do better than that, can't you?"

Of course, Ellery! I'll start over again!

The smile on my face was so big it almost hurt, but I couldn't have been happier at that moment with Ellery in front of me and my Cicero and Amicus behind me. The ones I cared most about were right there with me and that was all that mattered.


	58. Chapter 58

"Faith... Why did you just toss the cap into the fire? Didn't you spend hours working on it? I thought it was for Ellery? I'm confused," the Listener mumbled as he looked up from the plate of eggs and toast.

_Ellery refused to accept that one. It's okay. I just need to make the next one even better, that's all. Someday I'll make one he'll accept._

"Faith, just how many caps have you made Ellery?" He looked shocked at me, his eyes wide as he sat his fork down on the table.

_Hmm, I'm not really sure. Some of them have taken longer than others and sometimes the materials are harder to work with or just difficult to find. I usually try not to take more than a couple of weeks to get everything I need together and it takes a few days to make the cap once I have what I need for it._

I shrugged. It didn't matter to me how many I had made, only that none of them had made Ellery happy. But at least I would continue having the chance to try. That was all that mattered, the chance to someday regain some part of the friendship that I had lost with Ellery so many years ago.

Even so, I couldn't help the ache in my chest as yet another cap turned to ashes before my eyes.

"Faith, if there is something I can do for you, please tell me now, before I have to leave on that contract. I can't help you while I'm gone, so let me do something while I am here. Please?" Destin spoke quietly, his voice pained.

_While you are gone, if you come across any nice cloth in black, yellow, or gold, will you bring some home with you? I should start a new hat soon and it would be good to start gathering the materials as soon as possible._

Giving a sigh, the Listener could only nod as he turned his eyes back to the fire.

"I'll try, Faith. I'll try."

* * *

"So, you've finally stopped hiding away from the rest of us. Does this mean you are ready to actually work again? You realize that your place here is-" The False Leader began, stopping when the sound of a throat being loudly cleared came from nearby.

"Ahh, Faith, I do believe the Listener was looking for you. He came back from his most recent contract and wanted to see how you were doing," the Kitchen Master said, giving the Pretender a look that I hadn't seen on him before.

_Thank you, Kitchen Master. I shall go look for him now!_

Giving him a confused smile, I waved and hurried to grab a plate of food before running quickly up the stairs, ignoring the angry call of the angry Nord woman as she turned toward the Redguard who simply crossed his arms in front of him and shrugged at her.

"She's still recovering, Astrid. Give her space. We still have time before we need to send anyone out for the contract. Otherwise, we wouldn't have let Destin take that contract. She'll be ready in time," the Kitchen Master's voice faded as I moved further into the depths of the Sanctuary.

Maybe, just maybe, I would take the time to slip the trinket I had been holding onto under his pillow later on. It'd been debating it for a while, wondering if it was worth giving up for someone who always seemed as if he didn't like me. But if he would step between me and the Pretender, maybe there was hope after all.

Just the thought of that had me smiling as I carried the loaded plate through the spot a door should be, rushing over to place the food down in the middle of the table.

_Listener! You're back! Did everything go well? Are you hurt? Do you want me to get a potion from the Not Child? I'm sure Babette would part with whatever is needed!_

"I'm fine, Faith, thank you! So, Babette is it? Sounds like you two are getting along better. Did something happen?" The Listener chuckled, reaching out to grab a roll before it tipped off the plate and taking a bite before grinning at me.

_Things are going much better than I expected, my Listener! The Not Child was showing me some of her poisons today and explaining how they worked. It was a bit confusing, but she didn't mind that I didn't understand it all. Oh! She even gave me one to use if we ever get into a bad situation! Here, I have it on me. I'll show you!_

I reached into the small leather pouch I'd added to my collection, not wanting to stick something so dangerous into a pouch filled with other items. No, even if the bottle wasn't that fragile, I would rather not take chances. Pulling the bottle out, I turned to show the Listener and was stopped short by a hand grabbing my wrist as another came out to pluck the bottle from my fingers and place it carefully on the table.

"My sweet Faith, you should be more gentle with such things. What would Cicero do if something happened to you? The Unchild makes very potent poisons and great care must be taken while handling them. Of course, if Faith wishes, her Cicero would be more than happy to teach her how to handle the poisons. He's quite used to such things," my Jester Assassin whispered into my ear as he reached his hand behind me, his dagger soon coming into my field of vision.

There was a subtle sheen to the blade I hadn't noticed before, the slight shimmer of an old enchantment almost hidden beneath a coating of fresh poison. The scent of canis root and something else lingered in the air as he sat the blade down next to the bottle and lifted his now empty hand to trace my jaw.

"Cicero would happily teach his Faith how to become a better hunter. Perhaps someday he could even join her as she stalks her prey. Ahh, but not now, no. Cicero has too many duties to Mother to leave her side, especially in such a place as this. Cicero must keep Mother safe, but he can still teach Faith and help her improve. Besides, Cicero wants to dance with his lovely Faith once more before she must leave his side yet again," he said, his lips brushing against my ear with each word.

I wasn't sure what type of dance he meant, one with or without blades in hand, but it didn't matter. I seemed to look forward to both equally these days. They both set my heart to racing and left me breathless by the time the dance was over.

_I would like that, my love. Let us eat first and then you can choose what follows next. Teaching about poisons or dancing together._

"Perhaps Cicero can figure out a way to do both at once, teaching as he dances with lovely Faith. That way the dance can last even longer."


	59. Chapter 59

I could feel my arm slowly grow numb, swiftly moving the dagger to my other hand as I spun to the side to avoid another slash aimed at my side. When the blade shifted suddenly to try and catch me as I retreated, Amicus reached out to grab my deadened arm and use it to block to move, sacrificing only an otherwise useless limb over losing yet another area of feeling.

Darting in close, I barely managed to scrape the edge of my dagger against his leg as he danced away, grinning when I saw blood slowly seeping from the wound. Hearing him begin to laugh madly, I narrowed my eyes, watching closely as I waited to see what move he would make next. He always moved a little differently when he laughed like that, the dance suddenly changing pace.

Seeing the grin begin stretching his lips wide as soon as the laughter died off, I felt my stomach drop. When he suddenly lowered his body and changed his stance, feet shifting outward slightly, I lost my breath. The next moment, he wasn't standing there any longer, a mild burn letting me know I wouldn't feel the pain in my leg for long. A blur of red and black from the corner of my vision had me leaping away, barely missing the hit as I felt cool air against my skin where leather was no longer in one piece.

It only got harder from there, the numbness slowly spreading with each new hit, until finally I was laid out on the ground, my arms pinned under his thighs as he held his blade lightly against my throat with a laugh.

"And that is why the poison doesn't have to be deadly just to kill someone. In fact, a simple numbing poison injected into the right area could stop someone's breathing or even their heart," he said as he shifted his blade to tap different areas. "Of course, that works best when using a long needle rather than a dagger. Might as well simply plunge the blade between their ribs if you want to go that route. No, Cicero speaks of more subtle contracts, where one doesn't wish to leave obvious signs of the murder."

I felt my heart fluttering in my chest like a bird trying to escape, my eyes wide as I stared up at him, taking in the wild look in his eyes as he looked down at me in turn. Slowly, he shifted to set his dagger down, moving his hands to keep my arms pinned as he slid down.

"Faith shouldn't look at Cicero like that. It makes her look like she's waiting for something to happen," he whispered as he lowered his head down. "Cicero is trying hard to behave."

Pressing a lingering kiss to my lips, he grabbed his dagger again and jumped to his feet before dancing away to skip up the stairs with a wave.

"Cicero will keep his promise and go slowly, even if Faith seems unsure what she wants! Besides, Cicero should tend to Mother now! She's been waiting very patiently for her Keeper to do his job today!"

Of course, this left me laying on the ground, my limbs numb and with little patience to wait out the several minutes left before I would regain feeling in them. I could only pray that nobody-

"Well, well. This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen all week, niblet," the too tall Nord said with a grin as he leaned over me from where he'd just entered the area. "Need a hand?"

He looked far too pleased with himself as he stood there, laughing as he leaned forward and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Still, I couldn't help grinning as I saw the small trinket wrapped around his ankle, runes of protection etched into the ebony beads.

* * *

"'Off to Solitude with you' she says. 'Time to give the Emperor some real motivation to visit Skyrim,' she says. As if it's that simple! We are talking a public assassination during the reception of the Emperor's cousin! This is not going to be anything like taking out someone in a dark alley or inside their home. The risk here is so high, Faith. What are we going to do if things go wrong?" The Listener was close to ripping his sleeve with how much he was pulling at it, flinching when I reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him.

_Hush, my Listener. Everything will be fine. We have time to scout the area, to plan for as many eventualities as we can. If things go wrong, they go wrong. All we can do is try to prepare for what we can do to fix things so we are able to make it out alive. And worst-case scenario, we plan how you can get out while I distract the guards._

"I won't leave you behind, Faith. We'll figure out some way to get both of us out, no matter how bad things get. I'm not coming back to Cicero without you. I'm not going to do that to him," he scowled at me as he spoke, his lips pressed thin as he stalked toward down the road.

Shaking my head, I smiled at him and patted his arm.

_I'm glad you don't want to see him in pain, my Listener, but if it was between you and me, even he would choose for you to live. You are the Listener and he spent years waiting for you. He gave up a lot to keep Mother safe until he found you. I can't make him go through that again._

"And how long do you think he waited for you to find him?" Amicus whispered softly behind me, barely louder than a breath of wind.

_What do you mean? He wasn't waiting for me. He didn't even know I existed, Amicus. No, he waited only for the Listener._

"Ask him, when you see him again. Ask him how long he wished for someone to love him as you do. Even assassins have hearts, sweet Faith. And even the darkest hearts wish to be loved," Amicus sighed, running fingers through my hair before pulling away.

I stood still for a moment before turning to look behind us, wondering if perhaps I had not been the only one seeking treasure for myself all these years, no matter how much the Jester Assassin denied he'd sought treasure for anyone but Mother. Looking forward again, I saw Destin watching me quietly.

_Let's go. We have a wagon ride to Solitude to catch. I'll talk to Cicero when we return. Both of us..._


	60. Chapter 60

We'd managed to arrive four days before the reception would even begin, giving us more than enough time to scout the area it would be held. I'd even shown the Listener a few tricks for slipping into places we didn't belong, including the tells that let you know if a guard is tired, drunk, or otherwise less likely to be paying attention to what a random person is doing. Of course, it was unlikely that would be the case for a wedding, but we must learn when the chance arrives, regardless of how soon that knowledge will come in handy.

We still had two days left when we decided to explore the city while we had the chance, since who knew when we would have a chance to come back. It was as we wandered down a sidestreet that we heard something that caught my attention.

"Tendrils of thought may wind their way through this realm, but those tendrils bind our reality together," a voice called out from down the way, my eyes roaming until they spotted the beggar standing in front of a building and calling out to any who passed by. "Wait, hear my plea! My master, he is lost between worlds and I cannot bring him back!"

I paused to look at the Bosmer for a moment before slowly walking toward him again, my eyes watching him closely as we drew nearer. The Listener kept pace, staying close to my side as he looked back and forth between me and the beggar, frowning at the worn clothing the mer wore. Soon the mer called out again as a woman hurried past him, her head turned to avoid meeting his eyes.

"Why does everyone ignore me? Why do you turn your heads? Why will no one help me?" He seemed to question the world this as his shoulders slumped, exhaustion radiating from him as if he carried a great burden upon his back.

Pausing as my chest ached for the man, I turned to look up at my Listener.

_Please Listener, can we see what help he needs? Perhaps we can assist him somehow during the time we have left before our contract is ready to fulfill? I... I can't ignore him, not after seeing my own companions ignored for so long. Surely we can at least hear him out and decide from there!_

Gazing down at me for a moment, the Listener sighed and nodded, moving once more to take those final steps that would place him just out of reach of the mer who even now looked ready to begin sobbing helplessly into his hands.

"What help do you need, sir? If you do not ask for too much, perhaps we can assist you," my Listener said, gesturing to me before folding his arms across his chest as he tried to hide how he fidgeted with his sleeve.

As soon as the man turned to me, he paused before speaking again.

"You! You could convince Master to return! He'll listen to you, I know he will," he said as he took a step toward me, reaching into his bag. "Here, take this! Take it to him in the Pelagius Wing of the Blue palace and ask Master to return to his people! Before it is too late!"

As soon as he's shoved the item into my hands, he turned and hurried away, muttering about methods, madness, and melodies.

"What the heck was that about, Faith? Do you... Do you know that man?" Destin asked me, his eyes wide as he watched the man vanish around a corner.

Shaking my head, I looked down at the old looking bone the man had pressed into my hand just moments ago. I shivered at the feel and cautiously placed it into a piece of cloth before wrapping it up and slipping it into my pack. I felt a desperate need to wash my hands as soon as I could, turning to my Listener with a frown.

_I have no idea who he was but I feel that it would be best to get him under the influence of his Master before he hands someone else a bone... Who knows where he is getting these things and what he might do if his Master doesn't appear before too much more time passes._

"Yeah, I don't even want to think about where he got that thing. It's not old enough to be from a Draugr and I don't think that guy was capable of fighting them anyhow. Heck, I doubt he could take down a skeleton by himself and that doesn't leave many other options for how to get ahold of someone's hip bone," he said as he gave a shudder, looking as ill as I had felt handling the thing.

* * *

I grinned and gave a nod to the maid as Destin told her we were simply there to clean up the mess in the Pelagius Wing to help reduce the rumors going around about the area. Luckily, it seemed she wasn't able to see how forced my grin was and passed the key to the Listener before heading off to her own duties.

Turning toward the Listener, I let my face relax, sighing as I rubbed at my aching cheeks. I hated faking a grin, it never felt right even if people rarely caught on. Although, this time I was sure that someone would, the hip bone in my pack making me feel like it was burning a hole through to my back as my skin crawled where the leather rested against my shirt.

I followed as my Listener began walking toward the door leading to the Pelagius Wing, the hallway revealed once he used the key dimly lit and filled with cobwebs. I pulled a cloth from one of my pouches and held it to my head, holding another cloth out to the Listener after he sneezed just moments later.

Making out way through the corridor, I watched as Ellery danced ahead of us, stopping once in a while to poke at a tipped over chair's leg or shake his head at the remains of old books rotted on the shelves of a bookcase.

_It is a shame, isn't it Ellery, to see knowledge lost for lack of care... What a waste._

Barely glancing back at me, he simply nodded before moving on. It was several minutes later, as we were passing from one area to the next, that he stopped and finally spoke.

_"Something is here. I'm not sure what, but something is-"_

Before he could finish speaking, everything went dark. Slowly, a light began filtering in until the area was visible once more, revealing one of the strangest sights I had ever seen before. Two men sat at a table laden with food, one man dressed in a suit of red and purple, the other in the clothes of a nobleman. They appeared to be conversing until Destin stepped forward, interrupting the flow of words.

"Where the heck are we? And who are you? How did we get here? I -," he asked one question after another until he felt my hand on his arm, causing him to pause as he looked down at me to see what I had to say.

_You need to give them a chance to respond, my Listener. And next time, try not to be so impatient. You interrupted their conversation and a rather unpleasant manner, Listener._

Turning to look at the two men, I bowed my head for a moment before meeting the curious gaze of the man in the odd yet fancy suit.

_I apologize for my Listener's behavior. Please, continue your conversation and we shall wait until you have time to share with us. Oh, but do you mind if we share a seat at your table? I promise we will not eat your food, we simply wish to rest while we have the chance._

Before Destin could even open his mouth to begin translating my words, a shout rang out and everyone froze in place.

"Well, would you look at that, Pelly! It's quiet little Juni, come to visit me at last! I told you about Juni, didn't I? She's quite talented with a needle, you know!" The white-haired man called out loudly, clapping his hands as he stood. "Or are you still going by Valencia these days? You never were able to stick with a name for long, were you dear? Ahh, but that just makes you more interesting, doesn't it?!"

_I- I'm... My name is Faith. Do I... know you?_

"Ahh, you never could remember me, could you. Ah well, that just makes our little meetings more interesting when they happen! Come, sit! It's been far too many years since I've seen you, Juni! Far too many! And invite your companions to join us! Ellery, Amicus, come have a sit-down!"


	61. Chapter 61

"Who the heck is that!" The Listener pointed at Ellery as my Jester moved to take a seat in the chair at the far end of the table before grabbing a bottle of ale and taking a swig.

I turned my head so quickly that I flinched from the sudden pain in my neck, staring at Destin with wide eyes.

_You see him? How? Nobody has ever seen Ellery before other than me, and you most assuredly couldn't see him earlier!_

"Now, now, Juni! That's not true! I've always seen him when we have our little get-togethers! Amicus, too. Tell me, does he still make you shut your eyes? You always did have a fixation on that part after spending a night with your assassin," the man said, his smile growing wider as he leaned back in his chair. "But to answer your question of how, that would be because we are inside of Pelly's mind! That which is unseen outside is visible, even to those normally are blind to such things."

"Amicus?" The Listener said as he turned his head to peer behind me. "Wait, isn't that-"

"Ah, ah, ah! No telling! That little tidbit is between Amicus and... Well, you know who. It is up to them to decide whether or not to tell. Or for her to find out on her own! Oh, wouldn't that be interesting to watch!" Laughter spilled from the man's lips as he slapped his leg a few times.

"I'm not sure if I agree with what you call interesting... Still, we were sent here to find someone. Do you know a... Ummm, hey Faith? What was that guy's name?" My Listener looked at me with a confused frown before his eyes wandered behind me to Amicus again.

_"Dervenin. His name was Dervenin, foolish man. Now stop bothering Faith with your silly questions,"_ Ellery spoke up, swirling the ale left in his bottle as he grinned wickedly at Destin.

_Ellery! He's our Brother! Don't be so rude to the Listener!_

"And here I thought you had figured it out for a moment, little Juni! Ahh, but if you have both joined the Dark Brotherhood where all are Brothers and Sisters, then I guess not. Too bad! To think you have him right in front of you and you still don't see it! Ha!" The man was laughing again, grabbing the drink in front of him and taking a sip. "Not that he's that much better. After all, you were nearly grown the last time he saw you and you haven't changed that much since then. Well, outside of filling out a bit and the whole madness thing! I'd say nothing but improvements all around!"

I felt Amicus' arms wrap around my waist, his head leaning against mine as I felt confused by this strange man. Nothing made sense. How could I know Destin, since I'd never met him before, regardless of what this man said? What had he thought I'd figured out? Turning to look at the Listener, I trailed my eyes slowly over his features. No, all I saw was the familiar face of a young man I had spent week after week getting to know, both at Home and on contracts.

_"Shh, it will be okay, sweet Faith. Lord Sheo will not harm you. He's a friend, even if you have forgotten him. Besides, if he tried anything, we would both do everything we could to protect you,"_ Amicus whispered into my ear softly, his hands pulling me back into a comforting hug.

"No matter! So, you were sent here to fetch me, were you? Pelly, do you hear that? They want me to end our visit and go home! Can you imagine that? If it was anyone but Juni here, I'd likely be rather upset at the nerve of them. Ahh, but how could I get upset with one of my favorite people? At least, of those still alive! Ha! But no, I've put a lot of effort into her and I don't think I could stay upset with such a fun little lady and her... companions. Of course, this doesn't mean I want to leave, so how about a deal?" He grinned and leaned forward, elbows resting on the table as he pressed his fingertips together in front of him.

"What kind of a deal?" Destin said cautiously, stepping between this 'Lord Sheo' and myself.

"First, I should conclude my visit with dear Pelly. Time to end things! A good day to you sir, I said good day! Now begone!" He cackled as the other man looked first confused and then resigned.

"Yes. Leave me to my ceaseless responsibilities and burdens." The man said before fading away as I almost jumped in shock at the sight.

"You look how I felt when I saw Ellery walk past me," the Listener mumbled to himself as he shifted slightly, trying to ignore the snickering that arose from the table as my Jester began nibbling on some of the cheese nearby.

"Now. Now let us begin! While you run around and try to cure dear Pelagius' fractured mind, little Juni and I shall become reacquainted with each other! Oh, and if you really want, I'll let you take one of her companions with you. If both the companion and Juni agree, that is," a smirk twisted Lord Sheo's lips as he looked from Ellery to Amicus before settling his gaze on me.

_I don't mind, so it is up to either Ellery or Amicus if they are willing to join my Listener. What I want to know is... how is Destin supposed to cure someone's mind?_

"Ah ah ah, Juni! That is for him to find out! Can't spoil the surprise after all! Oh, but I guess I should give him something to help him out with the task, eh? Here, take this with you!" He clapped his hands before a strange looking staff dropped down from above, nearly landing on the Listener's head as he fumbled to catch it. "The Wabbajack! Now take it and go! There is a lot for us to catch up on. Juni has been a busy girl, it seems."

Leaning forward, the strange man rested his chin on his fingers after gesturing to the seat across from him. I watched as Destin began moving toward the archway at the edges of the clearing, closing my eyes when I felt Amicus' arms leave and his hand pat my head, a whispered _"Stay safe, dear Faith."_ all he said before following silently after the Listener.

"Come, have a seat, little Juni. Or don't you trust your oldest of friends to behave?"


	62. Chapter 62

_My oldest friends are Ellery and Amicus. I don't know you... Do I?_

I couldn't help a small feeling of doubt, remembering the words Amicus had whispered just moments ago before leaving to help protect our Listener. The casual way Ellery was sitting at the table didn't do anything to dispel the feeling.

"Ha! I can see the wondering in your eyes, Juni! You might not remember me, but you still _remember _me! I'm in there, buried within your mind and you'll never be fully rid of me! After all, you made me a promise, Juni Bug. And you can't break this promise without sacrificing your dearest companions. You wouldn't want to do that, now would you?" He grinned viciously at me, his teeth seeming to gleam in the odd lighting the candles provided.

_I told you, my name is Faith. I would like you to call me by my name._

"Ah, you might be going by Faith now, but your name was Juniper once, back when we first met. It matters not if you have forgotten because I'll always remember, Juni Bug! I don't forget such interesting things! Like cheese! Have you ever tried the cheeses of Skyrim? They even have a cheese they make from mammoth milk! Can you imagine how mad the person to first try that must have been? Not that I have to imagine since I met the man! Ha! Now there was an interesting fellow!" He reached out and lifted his goblet, slowly sipping from it as he eyed me.

Feeling anxious at the thought of this strange man knowing things about my past that I had forgotten, I reached up and pushed my sleeve up my arm, my fingers twitching as I ran them over the revealed stitches. I felt a slight comfort in the familiar feeling of thread under my fingertips, some of the tension in my shoulders easing as I looked over at Ellery.

_"Stop agitating her, Sheo. You know she doesn't remember you after your visits. She's never remembered you and harassing her is not going to change that. Besides, I told you last time that even if you are our friend, you do not have the right to make her upset. The promise does not extend that far, old man,"_ Ellery snapped, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the man who simply began laughing as he turned his gaze to my Jester.

"Ahh, I missed this delightful conversing with you, Elly! It brings me such joy to have you here that I could just rip out your innards! Ah, but that wouldn't work at all... Oh well! We have more important things to discuss. Like Cheese!" The man, Sheo, cackled for a moment before stabbing a fork into the plate of cheese nearest him and smiling.

_I don't care about your cheese! Don't you dare say such horrid things to Ellery! He's a better man than you could ever hope to be! He's my-_

"He's a sign of your madness and I love everything about it! Don't ever change! Unless it's to gain another 'companion' of course! That, my dear, would be most entertaining! Ahh, but we have other things to talk about. I noticed you found another of my little... projects," Sheo smiled as he leaned back in his seat, his eyes almost burning as he peered at me. "Tell me, how is my Fool doing these days?"

_He is not your Fool! He's my Cicero and you can't have him! You can't have any of my treasures! I won't let you have them!_

"Oh, I won't take any of them from you. Besides, didn't you tell me I was a treasure last time?" A wild cackling spilled from his mouth as he leaned forward, his chest nearly resting against his legs as he waved one hand through the air as if trying to wave away the mad glee that filled him to overflowing.

_But... How can you be a treasure if I can't even remember you?_

* * *

"And then I had to use the Wabbajack on one of the guards because nothing else was working! Hey... Hey Faith, are you listening?" The Listener stopped as he was about to walk into our room at the Inn, his hand raising as if to reach out for me before halting midair. "Are you sure that Sheo guy didn't do anything to you?"

The way he'd been looking at me since returning with Amicus had me feeling almost as anxious as I'd been with Lord Sheo. He looked like he was trying to find something that he wasn't sure was there, like when I was trying to find a thread I wasn't sure I'd actually bought from a merchant. It had me uncomfortable and part of me wanted to confront him about it, but the other part wanted to run off and hide.

_Destin, why are you-_

"My name isn't really Destin. Just like your name isn't really Faith, is it... You're Juniper," he watched as I took a step back, the desire to run growing stronger with each word he spoke. "And I- Juniper, it's me, Bastian."

_No, no you're not. Bastian is dead. Mom and Bastian died back in Bruma. You can't be Bastian._

"Mom didn't die in Bruma. She died in Anvil and I was sent to the orphanage. Mom tried to find you, but she didn't know where you had gone and then she got sick... I'm sorry, Juniper. I wish... I wish you could have seen her one more time before... She missed you, we both did, but she understood why you left," he stood watching me, his hands caught in the air between us as if unsure what to do with them.

Shaking my head, I took another step back, unsure if I could dare to believe what this man was telling me. Could I actually take the chance and trust what he said? It didn't feel safe after everything we had just gone through with Sheo... With Sheogorath. But at the same time, this was the Listener, the one chosen by Mother and trusted by my Cicero.

Reaching up, I dug my fingers into my hair and slid down the wall I had backed into.

_My Bastian was alive all this time? I missed all this time with him while he grew up? I- I failed my Bastian so much, how could he ever forgive me? He must hate me so much..._

"Because we're family and I've been looking for you since I ran from the orphanage when I was fifteen. I forgave you for leaving years ago, Juniper. How could I ever hate my beloved sister who only left to try and save me? Besides, now we're family twice over and I don't think Cicero and the Night Mother would want us not to get along, right? We have to bring her children to accept her again and we can't really do that if we are unable to even accept each other, now can we?" Kneeling down, he slowly reached out and pulled me into his arms, hugging me close as he ran one hand up and down my back. "It's going to be okay, I promise."

_When did you grow up so much?_


	63. Chapter 63

I had much spent the last day before the contract simply learning more about the life my Bastian had lived and telling him bits of my own life since we had vanished from each other's lives entirely. Sadly, time was limited and we could only share so much before having to cut it short and focus on going over the plans we'd put together from our previous days of scouting. Still, we agreed that we would talk more as chances arose.

It had been interesting to learn that he'd once hidden among the soldiers of the Imperial Army until he'd managed to make his way close enough to the Skyrim border to make his way in. Of course, it had been shortly after getting rid of his armor and trying to make his way to the nearest town that he'd been caught and taken as prisoner. I'd been horrified to learn how close he'd come to being beheaded simply because the officer in charge hadn't wanted to deal with the issue of figuring out how to handle having someone who wasn't part of the group they had been after. At least, he'd been close to death until a large dragon had come along, something which reminded me of my own introduction to dragons still being alive in Skyrim.

Ahh, but I couldn't afford to be thinking back on these things right now. Not when I was waiting near our preferred escape route, ready to drop the rope down as soon as my Bastian took the shot. We would only have so long to make it down the rope before the guards would get up here and be able to cut the rope, but we also couldn't take the chance to drop the rope early and have someone potentially see it from down below. No, we would need to climb down and hide, then take the chance to change into our disguises and go blend into the crowds as we made our way to freedom.

Of course, if things went wrong, we could always try hiding in the Hall of the Dead or maybe the empty house we found during our exploration of Solitude. Hopefully, everything would work out.

Hearing the sound of the arrow being released to fly through the air, I let the rope drop and began making my way down as I heard Bastian run toward me from his place at the far edge of the wall.

* * *

"And then she dove into the water and didn't stop until she realized the guards weren't chasing us anymore. Of course, the Horker was another story!" Bastian, no here it was Destin still, laughed as he told the Family the story.

I smiled as I took a bite of the Horker stew that the Kitchen Master had made with the meat we'd brought back. Luckily, the Horker hadn't been too large to take down once it was far enough from the rest of them not to draw the larger Horkers into the fight. Glancing to my side, I could see my dear Jester Assassin frown before leaning closer to me.

"Did something happen between dear Faith and the Listener? Cicero has noticed her smiling at him more than usual and wonders if there is something he needs to know," he spoke lowly, not wanting anyone else to hear his words.

Blinking a few times in confusion, I turned to look him in the eyes when it finally came to me what he meant.

_My sweet Cicero, there is nothing for you to worry about. It is simply that I discovered something about him. I-_

I cut myself off before bringing a hand to my mouth to hide my lips from curious eyes that did not need to know what I was about to say, having noticed Babette glancing toward me.

_Cicero, my Cicero, Destin isn't just Family. He's family to me and I didn't even realize who he was. Cicero, he wasn't always Destin. Once, he was known as Bastian. He's my Bastian, who I thought died so long ago. He's my brother..._

I watched him as I waited for him to respond, reaching a hand out to curl my fingers around his. I could feel his fingers twitch as he blinked at me, bringing his other hand up to tap at his lips as his eyes closed in thought.

"Then Faith and the Listener are siblings by blood? Hmmm, perhaps that is why Mother chose him? Cicero will have to think on this, but for now, he will simply give his Faith time with her brother without interruption. Faith can spend her time with her Bastian without worrying about Cicero. He will be fine for one more day alone," he pulled me into a quick hug before turning back to his food, although he jumped a bit when I pulled him back to look at me.

_I know you are a Fool, but I didn't think you so foolish as this, my Cicero. Why do you think you would not be welcome to spend time with us both? Just because I know who he is now, does not mean that we are suddenly going to stop spending time with you. You are part of our family, the treasure we found and claimed as our own and that will never change. No, we will do as we always have and spend our evening together. And then, when he goes to his bed, we shall stay up and talk while I work on Ellery's cap._

Fidgeting, I plucked at my shirt's hem before speaking once more.

_And if you'd like, I wouldn't mind cuddling for a while before we go to bed... I really missed you. I always miss you when I have to leave, but this time... Well, I missed you even more than usual._

"Cicero missed his dear Faith, too. And he is always up for spending some time cuddling with her. Especially if she is open to a little... Kissing?" He looked down at me and fluttered his eyelashes, a grin pulling at one corner of his lips to tell me he was at least partially joking.

Reaching up to touch his cheek, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his for a moment.

_I wouldn't mind that at all, my love._

Maybe someday I would build up the courage to tell him about what Sheo had said. But not yet, no, not yet. Tonight I just wanted to spend time enjoying his company, even if that was selfish of me. Let me be selfish for just a little longer.

_I love you, my Cicero._


	64. Chapter 64

I sat nestled within the arms of my Jester Assassin, looking down at the same page I had spent the past several minutes trying to read and failing. It wouldn't be so hard if there wasn't a distraction in the form of gentle fingers combing through my hair, but I couldn't find the desire to tell my sweet Cicero to stop and finally just closed the book and sat it on the end table beside us.

"Did Faith no longer wish to read that book? Would she like her Cicero to find her another more interesting book, perhaps?" He said softly, tucking a lock of hair behind my ears before curling an arm around me in a hug from behind. "Cicero could bring her that one she brought back from her contract, the one about thieves? Would sweet Faith like that?"

He shifted as if to get up and I hurried to grasp at his arm before it could vanish from around my waist, stopping him instantly from moving. Twisting my upper body around enough to meet his eyes, I smiled at him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

_Thank you, my love, but I'm fine. I just wanted to enjoy being here with you. The book was too distracting and I can read it another time, like when you are busy Keeping Mother. Right now, I have you to myself and I realized how silly I was being to waste that time with reading. After all, who knows how long we will have together before the False One sends me out again. It would be rather foolish of me not to enjoy times like this while I can._

Reaching up, I ran my fingers through his hair a few times before placing my hand against his shoulder and resting my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"Cicero would happily spend all his time like this when he is not tending to Mother. Faith need only say the word," he whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead before leaning back against the headboard of the bed, arms wrapping around me like it would keep me there.

As if I would ever want to leave the arms of this wonderful man.

* * *

_Who was it? Who left it on my bed while my Cicero and I were elsewhere? What do they want? I know you know, Babette, so don't try to say otherwise. Who left this?_

I shook the book in my hand, eyes wide as I watched her for some kind of tell. A shifting of her gaze to one of the Family members in the room, a twitch of her fingers, anything that would help me figure out who it was. Sadly, she remained as still as a statue other than her lips moving as she spoke.

"I'm afraid I am not at liberty to tell you, whether or not I know who it was. It seems that giving gifts without letting the one being gifted has become a bit of an occurrence in this Sanctuary. But you wouldn't know anything about that, now would you, dear Sister?" The quick smirk on her lips was more gentle than I expected from her before it vanished and she turned back to her alchemy table.

Blushing, I turned to look at the Grumpy Uncle and the Mysterious Elf, catching the grins on their faces before the female winked playfully.

"Perhaps you should ask your companions if they saw who it was?" She said before chuckling.

_I tried. They refused and said that receiving gifts might be good for me once in a while._

"Sorry, but Babette and the Listener are the only ones beside the Keeper who can read lips. As you well know. Ahem, now we all have things to do, so perhaps you should try asking someone else?" The Grumpy Uncle said before turning back to his enchanting table, reminding me of the other reason I had come in.

Tapping Babette on the shoulder, I hugged the book to my chest nervously.

"I told you, I'm not going to tell you who-"

_I know! I was just wondering if you could ask... If you could ask the Grumpy Uncle if he would mind going over some enchanting notes with me after dinner?_

"Enchanting notes? What do you mean?" Her eyes sharpened as she watched me, waiting for a response.

_Well, I'm trying to find out if I am remembering this enchantment right but I haven't been able to find it in any of the books I've found. I don't want to mess it up but I really want to see if I can still do it, so I thought maybe the Grumpy Uncle would help? Either if he knows of it or if he could maybe... supervise me while I practice it?_

"What enchantment are you wondering about? I might have heard of it, being a vampire who has been around for a little while and all," she smirked, laughing at me when my face flushed red once more.

_Oh, I didn't know you paid attention to Enchanting. I thought you focused on Alchemy and I guess it is silly to think that just because someone focuses in one area that they wouldn't at least know something about another. I'm sorry for being so silly, Babette._

Her eyes widened for a moment before closing at the smile that spread across her face.

"I forgive you, dear Sister. Now, what is this enchantment you are trying to remember?" She spoke happily, eyes opening as she looked up at me.

_Well, I'm not sure what the name was, but it helped me get around quietly? I used to have a pair of shoes with it on them but I lost them years ago and by then I had lost confidence in my skill. Later, I forgot about it altogether until I was talking with Cicero and was reminded. Then last night Amicus suggested I ask the Grumpy Uncle since he is often at the enchanting table, but then I was distracted by finding that book when I went to get my notes and I ended up forgetting them in the room. Should I go get them?_

"Faith, slow down for a moment. Are you telling me you know the muffle enchantment? What else do you know?"


	65. Chapter 65

_Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me! Thank you!_

I ran up and hugged the man before pulling back and smiling at the too tall Nord for a while. After he just stood there looking down at me with an expression that was somewhere between grumpy and uncomfortable, I shrugged and turned to look at the door that finally had been put into place after having been leaning against the wall for what felt like weeks.

For all I know it could have actually been weeks, having lost myself a bit just enjoying the chance to spend time with Cicero and a few of the other Family members who had started putting in the occasional effort to great me and include me in their daily chats with each other. Of course, it took a while before Babette grew tired of being pulled away from her experiments and finally told them to just have me write down what I wanted to say.

There had been laughter for several minutes after that as Ellery, Cicero and I all enjoying the looks on their faces after having the simple idea spelled out for them after so much time of everyone thinking one of the lip readers would always be needed to translate for them. It only got louder when they joined us after making a quick agreement not to tell any of the other Siblings and let them find out for themselves. Who knew the Grumpy Uncle and the Mysterious Sister could be so delightfully wicked?

Of course, that had only held for so long with the Too Tall Nord when I went to ask him yet again if he would help with the door, hoping for a yes after he had so kindly helped with the ceiling of me and Cicero's shared bedroom. When he'd frowned and shook his head after a few thoughtful moments, it was only the fact that he seemed regretful of the refusal that had me pausing instead of simply walking off to try again another time.

To find out that his wife, the False Leader, had forbidden him from assisting me again without gaining something significant in exchange was not as surprising as it could have been if she hadn't already proven herself to have a strong dislike of me and my Jester Assassin. It had barely taken a moment of thought before I had pulled out some chalk and a roll of slightly used parchment that was quickly rolled out and I began bargaining.

His eyes widening for only a moment, he soon shot me an appraising look before he began his own side of the bartering, refusing the coin I'd offered since it was as easy as taking a contract to get more if needed. He had little use for any of the books I had and I freely admitted I hadn't sought out any on blacksmithing, although I added the idea to my mental list of trinkets to keep an eye out for from now on.

It was only when Babette passed by and commented that I knew a few 'interesting' enchantments that his interest seemed to peak, asking which ones I knew. Watching the small Not Child cover her mouth as she laughed and walked off to go seek out her nightly meal, I soon began writing the same list I had shown Babette the other day, focusing mostly on ones that could be applied to weapons and armor.

It hadn't been much later when we had shaken hands and I found myself watching him install the door that now stood ready to finally grant me and my Cicero true privacy instead of simply having an illusion of it when we had either hung a curtain across the entry or, more recently, slanted the door across to at least mostly block off the corridor.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow after breakfast to get your payment, right tidbit?" He grinned at me, showing far more teeth than he needed to.

_Of course, Brother!_

I nodded as I spoke to him, making it clear I was agreeing. The hand on my head that rustled my hair for a moment caught me by surprise before he turned to walk off. Before he could take more than a few steps, I jumped forward and grabbed his arm, pulling him back around.

_Wait. I... Wait._

Reaching one hand into my pouch, I pulled out a carefully wrapped package, pressing it into his hand before closing his fingers around it and turning him back toward the exit before giving him a gentle push to continue on. I pushed him a little harder when he turned his head to peer at me before he began chuckling at the heavy blush that I could feel heating my face.

"Okay, niblet, okay. I'll go and leave you to your... whatever you had planned now that you have a door. I'll see you tomorrow, don't forget," he said with a smirk, once again rustling my hair before moving down the corridor.

He only laughed harder when I shut the door loudly, leaning against the door as if it could somehow make my spur of the moment decision be undone. I'd never handed anyone other than Cicero a gift, always hiding them away, but something had made me feel that it was the right thing to do.

_"If you are going to regret a choice, you shouldn't have made it in the first place,"_ Ellery scowled at me as he crossed his arms over his chest.

_I don't regret it, not really. I am just unsure why I made it. It just... felt right to do, I guess?_

He stared at me intently for a few minutes before sighing. Moments later he was walking toward me and reaching out slowly to brush his fingers through my hair, something he hadn't done since before he... Since before.

_"He messed up your hair,"_ was all he said before turning and walking toward the table, sitting down and grabbing the book that had been laying there.

_Oh... Okay._

Reaching up, I grabbed a lock of my hair and began tugging gently on it, trying to subtly get rid of the strange feeling he'd left behind with his simple action. It had felt so different from when Amicus or Cicero touched my hair. Not unpleasant, but so very different nonetheless.


	66. Chapter 66

"And she said that since I am the one who took the actual shot, I should get the reward, but I'm splitting the money with you! It's just, the other reward isn't something that can be split and she refused to let me even ask you if you would want it. I'm sorry Juni- I mean Faith," he flinched as he caught himself, his shoulders slumping the tiniest bit.

_It's okay, my Bastian, you can call me by that name in private like this. As long as we are in this room or Mother's sanctuary, nobody can hear what we say. Now tell me, what is this reward that the Pretender gave you?_

The smile he gave me was worth every moment I had spent figuring out how to place an enchantment upon the door that would allow us to speak freely without worry of being overheard. Well, without worry of him or Cicero being overheard. Being mute had to have some benefits, after all.

"I'll do better than tell you, Juniper! I'll show you," he said excitedly before he stood up and began casting a spell of some kind, a soft light beginning to emit from his hands before he gestured toward the other side of the room.

A bright blue portal appeared before something stepped through, the gateway vanishing almost as quickly as it had formed, leaving behind a ghostly figure who simply glanced around the room before turning to look at my Bastian.

"My Listener?" The entity spoke in a deep voice as Ellery slowly got up from his seat on the nearby bed and began creeping closer as he peered at the figure.

_"What in the Void is this? Some kind of haunting or something? How is this a reward, being able to call up dead people?"_ He scowled as he began circling around the softly glowing... man?

"I grow restless. As does my blade," the being spoke, head slowly turning to stare intently at Ellery as it's hand lowered to the dagger resting at its hip. "Should I perhaps show the whelp some manners?"

"Who do you mean?" My Listener peered between the phantom and where Ellery had been just moments ago until he had darted back toward the bed, putting distance between him and this strange spirit.

_He means Ellery... I think?_

Slowly taking a few steps, I moved in front of the transparent man, watching as his hand left the dagger and hung back at his side as he watched me.

_Can you see him?_

I pointed at Ellery as I tilted my head, hoping that the man understood what I said. Seeing his head turn to look at my Jester, I waited for him to respond somehow, even if just to shrug. Just... something to show it hadn't been a fluke that he'd looked at where Ellery was.

"Do you always surround yourself with Jesters, Listener?" He glanced from Ellery to Cicero as he asked this, before turning back to Ellery. "Although, this one seems less cheerful than the other. Perhaps he should consider becoming an assassin instead? It might suit him better."

_Of course, it wouldn't! Ellery is The Laughter! How could he ever stop being a Jester? That would be like... like asking Amicus to stop being The Assassin and start juggling!_

"Of course we would not ask the assassin to be anything else. He's already part of the Family and has even sent souls to Sithis. The jester, however, has yet to lift a blade. Although, we are willing to grant some leniency due to his more recent accomplishments inside the Sanctuary. The Dread Father has seen what he does and is willing to stay his hand. For now," the spirit said before turning again and walking closer to my Listener.

_What do you mean by for now? And what accomplishments? What are you talking about?_

I followed after the entity, lifting a hand to try and grab his shoulder to pull him to a stop, only for my hand to sink slowly into him before I pulled it out. My fingers felt so cold, almost like I had dunked my fingers into an icy river or runoff from snow melting, yet somehow even colder yet. How could anything be so cold and still walk around, talking like it was somehow alive? Looking up again, I saw the being staring at me, no real expression on its face.

_I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I'm just worried about my Ellery. Please, will he be okay? Father doesn't really plan to do anything to him... does he? Even if he doesn't complete a contract, Ellery has helped us out. Couldn't Father just let that be enough, just let him help us without having to lift a blade himself? Please?_

"Cicero is sure that the Dread Father would not harm sweet Faith's companions! Mother would surely be upset if her kindest daughter was made to cry!" I felt warm arms wrap around me, pulling me back against my Cicero's chest as he rested his head against mine. "Surely the Spectral One is simply trying to let Ellery know that our Dread Father knows what goes on amongst his Children and to mind that he does not break any Tenets?"

"_Of course I'm not going to break any of the Tenets! What do you take me for? I might be a Jester, a Fool at heart, but I'm not stupid! I wouldn't chance everything we've gained simply to make things easier for that Bitch!"_ He scowled as he moved to sit on the bed again, crossing his ankles as he leaned back against the wall. _"She already has too many ideas as it is."_


	67. Chapter 67

"She wants to know why nobody else is being sent on this contract and if you plan on it being the same with the rest of the contracts. Will her and Destin be the only ones sent out for them or shall anyone else go eventually?" Babette spoke as she met the Pretender's gaze from across the table.

"The Night Mother gave the Listener the contract, so he shall carry them out," she sneered as she looked at me. "I don't see a problem with that. Do you not think him good enough to fulfill his duty to the family?"

_Of course, I know he is good enough for this! That is something I shall never question! The problem I have is that the Night Mother did not give him alone the contract, she sent him to accept the contract in the name of the Family. All of the Family! Perhaps it is you that thinks the rest of the Family not fit to take part in such an important series of events as the assassination of the Emperor? Because other than that, I can't think of any reason to deny them their right to participate equally in these contracts leading up to the last target. And even that should be chosen based on who would do the job best!_

_"Unless there is something else she has planned that she is not sharing with the rest of the Family,"_ Ellery snarled from his place against the wall before he pushed away and stepped up to the table, slamming his hand down hard enough that one of the goblets shifted slightly.

"What was that?" The Not Child asked as she stared at the mead in the goblet rippling slightly before growing still again.

_Ellery thinks that your leader is hiding something from everyone in the Family. Even you, Babette. He's a bit... upset about it. I know he doesn't like her, but why would he get this mad? What is she up to that he would actually hit something? He's not a violent man, Babette._

"What was what, Babette? I didn't see anything," she said before sighing. "Let's get back to the meeting. What is her issue now? Does she ever stop complaining about the contracts she is sent on? It's practically a blessing that I don't have to hear her constantly moaning about having to actually contribute to this family."

_You talk like I haven't given you half the coin I get from selling the stuff I don't keep from the things I pick up when we go crypt diving! Have you even told anyone about the coin I gave you last time? Did anyone else get a share? Did even your own husband know about it? Or did you pocket that money just like Ellery said you pocketed the rest? I've given you hundreds of septims in coin and all you do is complain about me 'not contributing' to this Family! You ungrateful-_

"What do you mean you've been giving her half of the coin you make from what you find while exploring?" Babette interrupted me, her voice low as she turned to face the Pretender. "You said nothing about this to me. Have you told anyone about this? Surely Nazir or Arnbjorn at the very least?"

The silence in the room as the False One sat wide-eyed in her seat was a heavy weight, everyone turning to look at her before turning toward me.

"Exactly how much have you given to her, Sister? Do you know the exact amount?" Nazir questioned, one brow raised as he pulled out a piece of paper with some notes on it.

"She hasn't given me any coin! She's lying to you!" The Pretender shouted, her hands slamming down onto the table.

A loud thump was heard before the sound of metal against metal as a bag was tossed onto the table, coins spilling out to glint in the candlelight, a small note half-buried amidst the heap of septims as everyone stared in shock.

"Mother said where to find it. It's the first time she's spoken since she gave me the initial request to meet the Petitioner. I figured it was too important to wait until later and I'm glad of that," he said before turning to frown at the trembling female. "Mother is not happy you would lie about her Child like this. We are supposed to be a family. When will you begin acting like you are part of one?"

Reaching out, Ellery grabbed at the note in the coins, managing to pull it out just enough that it fluttered free to land in front of the Kitchen Master. Reaching out, he grabbed it before the Pretender could and began reading. Moments later, he looked up with a frown.

"It is an accounting of every coin given to her by Faith. I think that until further notice we should put someone else in charge of assigning the contracts. Someone that will be able to show a better ability to make trustworthy choices. For now, let's have the Listener take this contract still, but I think Faith has earned the chance to stay home for a time and rest. Would anyone else be interested in taking her place?" The Kitchen Master stood as he spoke, looking around the table at the other members of our Family.

"You can't just take over! This is _my _Sanctuary! I-" she began shouting angrily, only to hush as her husband put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her into his arms, whispering softly into her ear as she quieted down.

Lowering her head to hide the tears that were beginning to form, she allowed herself to be led away by the sad-looking Too Tall Nord, her arms wrapped around herself in a familiar manner. I watched silently until they both vanished from sight, only bringing myself back when I felt my Jester Assassin's arm pulling me gently against his side.

"Cicero is glad that his gentle Faith gets to rest more before she goes out again and would give his thanks to his Siblings for taking charge so smoothly in this difficult transition. He is glad to see that not all change must happen with difficulty or conflict," he said, nodding before sending a small but honest smile at everyone present.

It was good to hear how steady he was able to keep his voice for once in front of our Family, my fingers curling between his as I leaned over a little more to press my lips against his cheek. A soft chuckle slipped from his lips as he turned to me, his smile growing as his eyes wandered to my lips.

Does this mean we are done here for now and I can go work on my stitches again? I wanted to finish the changes I'm making since they seem to be working so well.

He paused for a moment before looking into my eyes for a few minutes, his honey-brown eyes wide as he finally leaned a bit closer.

"Cicero is wondering... He has never seen his sweet Faith work on the stitches and would ask if he could see how Faith creates them? Ah, but if she refuses, Cicero will understand and simply go tend to Mother's room instead so that Faith can have privacy! Cicero will not push for more than she is comfortable with sharing," he said, slipping in and out of his lilting singsong as he fidgeted in place, one hand reaching up to tug on the tails of his cap as he waited for me to answer.

I could see my Bastian glance at Cicero for a bit before he turned to speak with the sibling nearest him, the Grumpy Uncle, until the Mysterious Sister stepped over and joined in as they began talking about the contract. It seemed like she would be the one joining him this time.

_If you are sure? But you don't have to stay if it bothers you! I- I understand that seeing the stitches after they have been placed is... different from seeing me make them..._

"Cicero understands. He's seen many different kinds of art people have put on their bodies and simply wishes to see how his lovely Faith creates her own version. She mentioned something about webs and Cicero must admit that he is curious to see what she meant. Besides, Cicero is always looking for more ways to spend time with his dear one. He waited so long to have her, after all."


	68. Chapter 68

I fidgeted as I arranged the different threads around me, my fingers twitching slightly as I moved first one color and then another from one spot to another. The red thread was the only one that wasn't shifted from its place in the center of the row, greens and greys swapped from one side to the other with a lone wooden spool of gold thread sitting next to a pale blue behind the row.

"Is Faith sure she doesn't mind Cicero being here? He can still leave if she has changed her mind, Cicero wouldn't be upset," my love said softly, his voice still making me jump slightly before I looked up to see him watching me, his fingers plucking gently at the ends of his gloves.

Tilting my head for a moment, I stared at his hands, the gloves that he always seemed to wear whenever I saw him. Looking up into his eyes, I decided to ask a question I had avoided for a long time already.

_Cicero, do you mind if I ask that you remove your gloves? I've never seen your hands before, not even when I gave you the ring to wear. You are wearing the ring, aren't you?_

"Is this Faith's way of avoiding the question?" He gave a half-hearted chuckle as he moved his hands apart, resting them on his legs as he stared at me.

No, my Cicero. I do not mind you being here and I have not changed my mind. You want to watch me make my stitches and I am allowing you to do so. I just want to see your hands, even if just once. Please, may I see that you still wear the ring I gave you? I mean... If you decided you didn't want to wear it... well, it would be foolish of me to act like you had to keep wearing it, wouldn't it. Foolish Faith, acting like I have a right to expect-

"Cicero hasn't taken the ring off since his Faith gave it to him and he has no plans to change that," he said gently, slowly pulling the glove from one hand before raising it up so I could see the light flickering on the metal band.

Small scars dotted his fingers, mostly small nicks and cuts from years of learning to use a blade and even more years of putting that skill to use. Of course, they were mostly faded from the last several years of taking care of Mother instead of taking contracts, his hands looking softer than I had expected after wearing gloves and handling oils for so long. Of course, I should have known better, knowing that he'd put down his blade for anything but protecting Mother and our practice dances.

_We should dance again soon. It would be a shame not to put your skills to use._

Finally dragging my eyes away from the shimmer of the ring and the thought of how soft his hand would feel held in my own, I reached out and grabbed the red thread, hoping to finish the last flower before starting on another of the webs. After threading the needle I would be using, I realized that I couldn't just pull my shirt off to begin the stitches.

Standing up, I set the needle down carefully before heading over to my chest and digging through to find a shirt that didn't have sleeves long enough to get in the way. Finally finding something that would work, I moved behind the curtain of cloth and changed quickly before coming out and tossing the other shirt into the basket to join the rest of the wash for tomorrow.

"Oh! Faith has been taking away some of her pretty flowers? Ahh, but she added some webs like she put on her legs! Cicero thinks it looks interesting like this. Will Faith be adding more flowers or webs to the empty parts?" He pointed to the areas I had yet to add the new stitching to, his eyes bright with curiosity.

_I need to finish the flower over here. Then I will be stitching some new webs here and here._

I pointed to the different spots as I spoke to him, watching his eyes follow my finger's movement before staying focused on where the first web I'd finished seemed to attach to the nearby vines and flowers.

_Do you want to touch them?_

"Faith does not mind?" He seemed nervous as he watched me slowly nod, my eyes trained on his bare hand as he slowly lifted it up.

_I don't mind... You're the first person besides Amicus who's ever wanted to touch them..._

His fingers traced slowly over the patterns of petals and webs, caressing the edges of leaves and following vines gently as his eyes followed his fingertips. Finally, he paused for a moment on the unfinished flower before looking up at me again.

"The Listener said something to Cicero about Amicus, but Cicero told the Listener that he already knew about Faith's Assassin friend. But then the Listener said something Cicero didn't know about. That Faith knows the MadGod and has called him friend in the past," he whispered as his finger trailed once more down my arm, stopping where the vines curled around the webs at my wrist. "Cicero hopes that Faith will tell him about how she met a Daedric Prince someday, but whether or not she tells him, Cicero hopes even more that Faith will do her best to remain safe. He does not want to lose his heart so soon after finding her."

_I'm trying, my Cicero. I don't want to lose you either. Did... Did Bastian say anything else to you? I... There are parts of my past I don't remember and others that are unclear, barely enough to be called a memory. I didn't remember Sheogorath, even if he seemed to know me. But, even though he frightened me a bit, I do not think he would hurt me. Amicus and Ellery both seemed to believe that I was safe. Lord Sheo. He seemed to find me more amusing than anything else. And he said-_

"Shhh, Cicero did not mean to upset his Faith. We do not need to talk of this more right now. It can wait. Shhh, shh sweet Faith. it's okay," he whispered as he pulled me into his arms, his bare hand running slowly up and down my arm in a soothing manner. "Tell Cicero what the flowers and vines and webs represent. He remembers that his lovely Faith once said Amicus told her she should put meaning into her stitches. Why did Faith choose to add webs?"

_Webs are stronger than they look and yet also can be beautiful. I needed something strong enough to hold me together, but also something that would maybe hold our Family together, to keep it from breaking apart. And it's working! You see that, don't you? How it's holding the family together?_

"Of course Cicero sees. His Faith is very smart to think of using webbing in her stitches like that," he said as he wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lips against my hair in gentle kisses. "Now tell Cicero about the flowers."


	69. Chapter 69

I woke up with a pair of warm arms wrapped around me, one bare hand resting against my side while a gloved hand lay upon my back. I could hear a slow, steady beat against my ear, soothing to listen to as I lay there for several minutes just slowly trying to work up the strength to open my eyes. I couldn't get over the desire to simply lay like this forever, feeling warm and safe within the embrace of the man I loved.

I hadn't thought to ever feel like this again after... after Ellery, but here I was, my heart beating in time with his as the scent of oils and flowers filled my nose, a subtle hint of something else hidden within them. Before I could figure out what it was, a soft rumble of laughter broke me from my thoughts.

"If darling Faith keeps sniffing at Cicero like that, he might start thinking strange things," he mumbled, his arms tightening around me playfully before his fingers suddenly began tickling against my sides for a moment before he stopped and kissed the crown of my head. "Cicero could happily wake up like this more often, even if Faith insists on spending part of the morning doing strange things like checking if he smells. Cicero would have her know that he bathed just the other day, however, and should only smell of Mother's oils."

The little sniff of playful disapproval he gave sent me into silent laughter yet again before I finally opened my eyes and looked up at him as I lifted my head regretfully away from his chest, still feeling the softness of his nightshirt. Blushing still from his words, I cupped a hand against his cheek and smiled at him.

_You do not smell poorly, my Cicero. Your words are mostly right, as you smell of Mother's oils. But you also smell of the lovely flowers you arrange for her and something else, but I couldn't figure out the other scent as it hides under the rest. I was simply trying to figure out what the other scent was, but it doesn't really matter other than it is part of the scent that comes from the man I love._

"Oh, does Faith like how Cicero smells? She does not mind that he smells like flowers instead of something more... manly?" He looked up at me as I leaned over him slightly, staring into my eyes as he reached up to brush my hair back behind my ear.

Shaking my head, I leaned down and kissed his lips lightly before pulling back again.

_I much prefer how you smell. Most men I've been close to always smelled of sweat, dirt, ale, or mead. You smell of the love you have for Mother, taking care of her and making sure she has something pleasant to look at when she chooses to see what surrounds her body. You smell of that which you treasure most in the world._

"Oh? Does that mean I also smell similar to Faith as well?" He said, his eyes wide.

Blushing, I ducked back down and buried my face in his shoulder, listening to him as he began to chuckle. He wrapped his arms around me and held me gently, his lips pressing softly against my head as he whispered his next words.

"How can Cicero smell like that which he treasures if he does not smell at least somewhat like his dearest Faith, the thing he treasures most after his sweet Mother? Although, he thinks that after spending a night with his pretty Faith in his arms, he must have absorbed something, yes? Oh, but if not, he is willing to try again! Maybe he could convince Faith to wear something lighter to bed next time?" He teased me, plucking gently at the long-sleeved shirt I had worn to help protect the fresh stitches during our sleep, causing me to look up at him again.

_Next time? You mean... you really want to share a bed again? Just to sleep? Ellery never-_

"Cicero is not Ellery. If Cicero should be compared to someone else, perhaps Amicus would be a better choice?" He tapped an ungloved finger against my lips.

_Oh... but he didn't share a bed just to sleep either. No, I think maybe... I should stop trying to compare you with either of them. It's not fair to you. Cicero is Cicero and I need to treat you only as yourself. But Cicero, if you want to sleep in my bed again, do you mind if we maybe push the beds together next time? This bed is a little small for two people and I nearly rolled off the side last night..._

Even though he burst out laughing at the end of my words, I couldn't keep the smile from showing on my face at the thought swimming in my head. Next time... there would be a next time.

* * *

There was a tension in the room that afternoon as the Too Tall Nord took two plates of food and left the common room where the rest of the Family still at the Sanctuary sat. Everyone was visibly uncomfortable as they looked down at the food in front of them, the lack of the Once Leader and the reasons behind it leaving most of the Siblings unsure how to behave around each other. Looking at each of them before turning to peek at my Cicero, I finally turned to face the one person who had proven to be a source of stability during the change of leaders.

_Kitchen Master, will you be taking over the role of leader until the False One has come to her senses and decided to stop trying to treat us as unwanted guests instead of as Family? How long do you think it will take her to realize we never wanted to take her Sanctuary away from her but simply reintroduce Mother's influence into a place it was much needed? Do you think she will ever be willing to step back into her position once the Family is strong enough to reopen one of the other Sanctuaries? Or will she remain too upset to deal with a second branch of the Family? Although, I'm not sure how long it would take to gain that many new Family members, so maybe it would be enough time for her to remember how to treat Family? I don't-_

"Wait! Do you really mean you want Astrid to become the leader of this Sanctuary again? After what she did to you? How she treated you? Why? Why would you trust her that much?" The Not Child said as she stared at me in shock, the others quickly turning their heads to join in.

Only my Cicero simply watched quietly, slowly taking bites of his food as he listened to the rest of the Family softly mumbling to each other around us.

_I never wanted her to lose her Sanctuary. I don't hate her, simply how she failed to behave like this was a Family and not simply a guild. If it was meant to simply be yet another guild, the Brotherhood would have died off long ago. Perhaps it was because so few members remembered that the Dark Brotherhood was a Family and not just a group of assassins... maybe that is why so many were allowed to fall? I can't really say for sure, since I was not part of the Family at the time, and I could be very wrong about that. But just look at those who are left of the Brotherhood. Cicero has always treated the Brotherhood as his family, has put Mother's needs even before his own. And the Listener has been searching for family and found this Sanctuary. Each of you also seems to care about the Family and wanted to keep each other safe. But many of you seemed to have... forgotten who your Family really is when we first arrived? Also, you seemed to have forgotten what family was meant to be and only had what you thought it might be?_

"What do you mean, who our Family really is?" Babette frowned at me as she spoke.

_Well, most of you have forgotten who and what our Mother is and I am unsure if I want to even ask if it is the same for our Father as well. How can one really be family if they don't know their own parents? And how can they know their parents if they don't even remember how much their parents love them? Do any of you even know how much Mother loves you? How long she's waited to be able to speak to you again?_


	70. Chapter 70

In the days that passed since that awkward meal, I had spent more and more time with my Cicero or alone in our room, trying to avoid the tension that filled the rest of the Family. Of course, it hadn't been like that at first, but after a few uncomfortable meetings with Siblings that didn't seem to understand my desire to return their former leader to her position at some point in the future... well, I had ended up tired of trying to explain myself, until the only members of the Family I still talked to were Babette and those rare chances to talk to the Too Tall Nord when he dared to leave his wife's side.

Ultimately, I spent most of my waking moments either dancing with Cicero if he wasn't busy with Mother or working on Ellery's newest cap, a lovely black and gold velvet cap with a faint pattern of embroidered suns and stars in silver and gold thread. Truly, this cap was going to be the best one I'd created so far and I was certain that Ellery would at least say something about this one, even if he refused it. Surely he would at least compliment the fine stitching or the lovely embroidery! After all, my Cicero was quite enchanted by the soft velvet when I'd shown him my work.

Each night, when Cicero returned from caring for Mother, we would talk about various things for a few hours before slipping into bed and curling up against each other as we fell asleep. Some nights, we would talk about the Family, about Mother and Father, or about the remaining contracts that led up to the assassination of the Emperor. Others, we would talk about ourselves, sharing simple things like favorite colors and meals, as well as the places we had traveled to during our lives.

Unsurprisingly, Cicero adored red and black while I had a preference for red and gold. Not that I disliked black, it simply didn't catch my eyes like red and gold always seemed to. Like the flecks of gold I had noticed in my Cicero's eyes, hidden within the honey-brown that I sank into so often these days.

Cicero loved to nibble on sweet rolls and carrots while I had fallen for the taste of his venison stew and could happily eat it every day. He spoke of Cheydenhall and Dawnstar with a sad fondness before glancing at me as he mentioned having once spent a few days in the Imperial City for a contract, his last before taking his place as Keeper. I mentioned the time I spent in Elsweyr following the caravans and High Rock apprenticed under the old Breton thief before wandering my way into Skyrim.

And so it continued until the Listener returned with the Mysterious Sister, the entire Family gathering to hear the news of their contract. I could see the guilt my Bastian tried so hard to hide from the rest of the Family, so once most of them had wandered off to celebrate the success of the contract the two had pulled off so well, I asked my brother if he wanted to go find a crypt or cave to wander through.

"That... Yeah, that would be nice. But only if Cicero doesn't mind?" He looked at the Jester Assassin as he spoke, tilting his head a little in thought. "Actually, Cicero... Would you like to come with us?"

"Oh! The Listener would invite Cicero to go with him and lovely Faith? To someplace where he could stab, stab, stab things?! Oh, Cicero would love to go along!" He danced in place excitedly for several moments before his shoulders slumped and he frowned. "Sadly, Cicero's duty to Mother and her safety keeps him from being able to accept the kind offer. But he thanks the Listener for thinking of Cicero."

_Is Mother still not safe here, my Cicero? Astrid is under watch by the Family and surely the others would not try anything against Mother. Unless... have you found something out that I don't know about, my Jester Assassin? Should I leave Ellery here with you to help keep watch while we are gone? Or... Perhaps we shouldn't leave if Mother is unsafe. I don't want to leave if someone is planning something against her._

"No no! Faith and our Listener should go and take the chance to enjoy themselves! After all, the Family has already decided to send other members for the next step in the assassination of the Emperor, so you have time before you will be needed again. Cicero does not know anything for sure, but until he knows Mother is safe... He can't take any chances. Do not let his worries stop you from having fun! Ah! Perhaps pretty Faith can bring Cicero home a trinket like she brings home for her Brothers and Sisters this time? Something he can wear like the pretty ring she gave him?" He shifted closer before fluttering his lashes at me playfully, leaning over slowly before pressing a quick kiss against my forehead and dancing away as he laughed and chuckled.

I stood quietly, watching him as he tried to ease my worry with laughter and playful rhymes, but it wasn't until Ellery spoke that I felt able to relax, even as he left me questioning when he started becoming so much... kinder.

"Don't worry, Faith. I'll keep watch on your Jester Assassin. But you have to promise to be extra careful while you are gone. Don't take any chances. Amicus can only do so much to keep you safe and I won't be there to check the tunnels for you. We can't lose you, Faith. I can't lose you."

_I'll be careful. I promise. And I'll bring back trinkets for everyone, but the best trinket will be for you, Cicero!_

Smiling, I reached out for his hands, soon joining him in a graceful dance across the floor one more time before I left to prepare for the upcoming trip with the Listener. For the next several minutes, my world consisted only of soft touches, gentle movements, and flecks of gold swimming within a sea of honey-brown.


	71. Chapter 71

I crept around the corpse of the large spider we had just killed, blinking at the remains of a man wrapped in layers of webbing. He must have struggled fiercely, having torn through part of the cacoon he'd died in, shriveled fingers poking through near where I assumed his waist to be.

But what had me moving closer was the curiosity of what he might have known or found that he'd thought worth the risk to come here so obviously underprepared for the horrors that typically dwelled within these ruins. Had he found the treasure he was looking for? Or perhaps he had a map or book that would tell me what he'd sought, something like the book I'd grabbed so long ago from a dusty floor under a skeleton, one for a treasure I had yet to return for.

Oh, just thinking about something so special one was willing to risk their very life for it had me practically dancing my way up to the corpse before grabbing my dagger and cutting through the webbing! Images of rare books and one of a kind trinkets filled my head as I searched through dirty pockets and dug around in pouches, my eyes growing wide as I pulled out what looked like a miniature version of a dragon's claw made out of gold and gems. Moments later, I slid out the thin journal that had been in the same pouch.

_Bastian, my Bastian, do you see this too? It's not just my imagination running wild, is it? Please tell me this is real!_

Looking up from where I was crouched down, I lifted up the golden claw in trembling hands, seeing my brother's eyes looking just as wide as my own.

"I see it, Juniper. It's real, but what is it?" His voice whispered as if he worried that someone would hear him if is spoke any louder. "Where did he find it? Was it inside here somewhere or did he bring it in with him?"

_I don't know. Let me check in the journal. Maybe he wrote about it? Oh, but this must be special! I bet even my Cicero would be amazed if I gave this to him!_

Carefully wrapping the claw up in a piece of cloth, I settled it carefully within my pack before opening the journal and reading.

_Oh, it's a key! To some kind of power of the ancient Nords? Or maybe a treasure that grants power? I'm not really sure. He didn't really write what the key unlocks, just something about a Hall of Stories? Do you want to see if we can find it, brother?_

"Of course! After all, you promised trinkets for everyone, didn't you? We can't leave before we find something for each of our Siblings. Hey, do you think we could find something for Bryn down here? I was thinking, maybe after we finish the contracts... well, maybe I could go visit the guys," he plucked nervously at his sleeve as he glanced around, his eyes meeting mine only for a moment before darting off as he began blushing.

_How about you tell me what you know about your Bryn while we make our way further inside and I'll keep my eyes open for anything that would make a fellow thief's heart leap to see!_

I put the book inside my pack with the claw and lifted it onto my back, quiet laughter making my shoulders shake as I smiled up at my Bastian.

* * *

I could feel Amicus pull at my hand, moving my dagger into position to shift and push aside the blade that was swinging down at us with alarming speed for a Dead Thing. Although this Dead Thing looked a little different from the rest we had come across, better armored and perhaps a little stronger, quicker in its movements. It also seemed one of those capable of using voice magic, as I found out suddenly when I heard it yell at me right before I went flying back to land painfully on the ground, my dagger skidding off into the shadows.

"Faith!" I lifted my head groggily to see Bastian rush up at the thing with his sword raised, slashing it down to slam into the Dead Thing's shoulder, knocking it back.

Closing my eyes to stop the room from spinning, I lay my head back down and listened to the sound of battle, startled a few moments later when I heard Bastian use the same voice magic the Dead Thing had. The sound of bones and armor scattering across the stone flooring had me opening my eyes and turning my throbbing head to see my brother running over to me, his face pale as he pulled a potion from the pouch at his waist.

"Here, drink this! Don't you dare fall asleep on me before you drink that potion, Juniper! I promised Cicero I would bring you back home!"

Lifting a trembling hand, I winced at the scrapes that covered my fingers where they'd skidded across the stone. I grabbed the small bottle and brought it down to my lips, lifting my head enough to feel my hair pulling as it stuck to the ground. I would have to take a bath before we headed home. I couldn't let Cicero see me like this.

The feeling of warmth filled me as I drank down the potion, feeling my fingers twitch from the sensation of skin mending. When I felt that same sensation in the back of my head, I realized that one potion was definitely not going to be enough.

_I'm sorry Ellery. I wasn't able to be careful enough to keep my promise. I didn't mean to get hurt... Please don't be angry at me when I get back home and see you._

_"He won't be angry as long as you still come back home to him. Now drink another potion so you can get well enough to sit up. The Listener looks scared and I'm pretty sure he's not going to calm down until you aren't bleeding anymore, dear Faith,"_ Amicus whispered as he helped lead my hand down to my waist where I kept the potions Babette had given me.

Thankfully, the pouch hadn't landed against the ground and the padding I'd added to the inside had been enough to keep them from shattering against each other.


	72. Chapter 72

_Where did you learn how to use voice magic, my Bastian? I never heard you use it before. Have you been hiding it from me?_

I looked over at him as his eyes roamed over my arms, taking in the change in the stitches from the last time he saw them so many weeks ago. Waving a hand at him, I got his attention and tried again.

_Bastian, my brother, where did you learn how to use the voice magic some of the Dead Things used? How long have you known how to use it? Did you not want me to know you could use it?_

"Oh... That. I'm not sure why I can use it other than it being in my blood. I don't really- wait... In my blood. Do you think that means you could? Juniper, have you seen any strange glowing words on any of the word walls we have come across? Like the one back at the Sanctuary? Krii, did you ever see Krii on the wall?" He'd started out looking upset but soon it had turned into excitement.

Or rather, he'd looked excited until he saw me shake my head slowly.

_If you mean the wall with all the strange writing on it, no. All I saw was a bunch of shifting words that just made my eyes feel funny after a while. Why, should I have seen something different? Do... do you think I could learn how to use that voice magic?_

I looked at him with wide eyes as I continued to wash the blood off my arms, the ragged shirt I wore soaked from the river that was rushing past us where we sat on the riverbank.

"I'm not sure. That's really strange. You said the words shifted around? Did any of the words glow? Did you hear any chanting voices or anything? Even a whisper of a voice? Anything?" He furrowed his brow as he began tapping a finger against his thigh, watching for my answer.

No, none of them glowed. Do they glow for you? Really? And chanting? What kind of chanting? I haven't heard any chanting. I-

_"I saw a glow, but could not see the words. I do not know if Ellery noticed anything. He didn't say anything, just as I didn't. I.. wasn't sure if it was Lord Sheogorath at the time. Perhaps we should ask Ellery when we return home once we are done here,"_ Amicus whispered softly, his fingers brushing through my wet hair carefully as he worked the tangles out. _"Maybe this is one of those things the Jester Assassin spoke of."_

_Those things? What things? I don't understand, Amicus._

_"Like the Door was, remember? Cicero said it was an all or nothing thing, so maybe it needs all of y-... all of us together to work right,"_ he paused his fingers for a moment before he began running his fingers through one more time in my hair, finally pulling back and moving away. _"I'm not sure since I've never seen anything like this before. I don't think there has been anything quite like us before, Faith, so all I can do is make guesses like Cicero did. I could be wrong, but it would be worth trying, right? To have voice magic like that would be an advantage in battle. It could keep you from getting hurt again. It could keep you alive."_

_I understand, Amicus. I'll... I'll try. Let me finish here and we can go._

I hurriedly washed away the last of the blood, leaving only recently healed tender skin behind and a single once green leaf stained red along the edges.

* * *

I stared at Babette as she repeated her words one more time, my mind refusing to accept what she was saying. Shaking my head, I put a hand against the wall as my legs began trembling. No.

_No, no, no, this can't be real. It's just a bad dream. The Fallen Leader was under watch, so how could she have escaped? How could she have caused this kind of a mess and gotten away afterward? And her husband, why? Why would he attack... my Cicero? How did this happen? Babette, why would my Cicero have... Where did he go? Where is my Cicero?!_

"Arnbjorn chased after him after the Keeper attacked Astrid. Nobody knows where they ran off to, though. Maybe the Keeper hoped to get away, to find someplace he considered safe until Arnbjorn calmed down or gave up. I couldn't tell you. Most of us are more worried about where Astrid has gotten off to, since she is the bigger danger to us if she decides to betray us. There is no such worry with the Keeper, although we do worry about his safety. I'm sorry, though, as we need to focus our attention on the bigger picture, especially with the Emperor contract coming to its final stage soon," the Not Child said, her lips curled down at the edges in a subdued frown, her dislike of the situation obvious if I had bothered to look that closely.

_No, no, Cicero needs to be safe! I need to go! I need to find him! Where, where would he consider safe? I need to think!_

Hurrying past the Not Child, I rushed to our room, glancing around quickly before an unfamiliar book caught my eye.

_Oh... Oh, Cicero... Is that your journal? You didn't even get to put it away before whatever this was had happened. Sweet Cicero, don't worry. I'll keep them safe for you._

Dumping out my pack onto the bed, I carefully picked up the journal and wrapped it inside a piece of black velvet left from the last cap I had made for Ellery. Looking around, I spotted a few more books scattered across the room, wrapping them in similar scraps of fabric, whatever pieces were big enough to hold a book. Finally, I had a small stack of thin journals, each wrapped separately, before wrapping them all within a larger piece of fabric and slipping them into my empty pack.

I felt like the world had tilted itself again, similar to how it had so many months ago. Although the Sanctuary was Home, it no longer felt like a home without my Cicero here to greet me. No, I would have to find him to find home again.

_I should tell Mother goodbye before I leave. I don't know when I will find my Cicero or how long I will be gone before I can return with him. I will return with him, won't I Amicus? He'll be okay, right?_

Going to the shelves, I grabbed some of the potions that sat there and moved them into my pouch to replace the ones I had used. Shifting further down the wall, I stopped as I saw the worn binding of Sweet Mother leaning against the wood at the end of a shelf, a piece of faded parchment poking out of the pages. Reaching out with trembling fingers, I pulled the book from the shelf and went back to the bed, grabbing my pillow and pulling the case off before wrapping the fabric around the book before it, too, ended up within my pack.

Hefting the pack up, I pulled it on and left the room, closing and locking the door behind me. It wouldn't do to let the Family have that easy of access to the room while we were gone. No, not at all. I had to at least try and keep Cicero's things protected while he was away.

_Come Amicus, let us say our goodbyes to Mother. Maybe she will be kind enough to bless us on our journey since we are going to find her missing Keeper, our dear Cicero!_

Feeling a soft touch on my shoulder, I reached up to grasp his hand with trembling fingers.

_Amicus... I'm scared. What if I can't find him in time?_


	73. Chapter 73

_"This way, Faith. Ellery is in this direction,"_ Amicus whispered from behind me, nudging me on the side with the path he wanted me to steer the horse down, as I tried to keep the horse from going the wrong way.

_How does everyone else manage to keep these beasts from just bolting off with them? And why do they have to be so huge? Never again, Amicus! After we find Cicero and Ellery, I'm never going to get on one of these beasts again! Not without someone else to steer them! I'm starting to see why Ellery doesn't like them so much! They might look trustworthy, but it's definitely a trap to lure people into getting on their backs!_

_"I'm sure that with enough practice, you would not have such problems with them. After all, you got along well enough with Cicero's horse. Take the left branch up ahead, the one leading northward. We need to go north,"_ he mumbled, his arms wrapping around me as he tried to comfort my trembling form. _"We are already so far behind them. I don't know how our Jester Assassin can keep going for so long. Has he even taken any rest breaks? We have been riding for two days already, Faith. We can't keep going like this. You need to rest."_

_I'll rest when we find our Cicero! I'm not stopping until I know he is safe! North, the north path... There! Hurry, horse! Go faster!_

I would have shouted the words if only I could, but nudging the horse with my feet would have to do. Feeling it pick up its pace beneath me, I leaned forward and prayed that I would be able to keep my spot upon the beasts back.

_Please, Mother. Please, help us make it in time. Keep my Cicero alive. Don't take him from me yet, I'm not ready. I can't lose him yet, please Mother. Let me keep him, at least for a while longer. Please. I'll do anything you ask, just don't take him from us._

North. Cicero was north of us with Ellery and so we would go north. Ever and always north.

* * *

Yet another horse, this one brown instead of black, stretching as it sped northward on the path beneath my trembling legs. I could barely keep my eyes open, relying on Amicus to keep me from falling off the saddle those rare times I couldn't keep myself awake any longer.

Of course, even he could only do so much and there had been a few times that I awoke to the horse pushing its nose against my face, new bruises added to the ones I already had. But we were finally getting closer, Amicus insisting he could almost hear Ellery's stressed cackling from just a little further ahead of us. And so each time I fell, I climbed back into the saddle and turned the horse back northward, ignoring the pain in my body and the ache of my empty stomach.

Those things could wait, but who knew if Cicero would be able to... No, everything else could wait until I knew he was safe. And if he wasn't... No, no, he had to be okay! He had to be!

* * *

I stared in horror at the blood before me, the Too Tall Nord sprawled on the ground as he groaned in pain from the wound on his side. How could this be happening? How could our family be falling apart like this? How could they hurt each other like this?

Ahh, but if our Brother was alive, then surely my Cicero was also alive! After all, he wasn't out here so that must mean he escaped somehow!

_Brother! Brother, where is my Cicero at? Why did you two hurt each other? What happened to cause such terrible things to happen?!_

Running over toward him, I barely managed to keep on my feet until I got to him, sprawling on the ground at his side as I pushed his hands away so I could see his wounds. Such terrible wounds... Reaching into my pouch, I pulled out one of the healing potions I'd stuffed inside what must be days ago by now and pushed it toward his lips before his hand reached up and grabbed the bottle.

"Trying to poison me for hurting your Fool? I gave as good as I got, you know... He'll be-" he scowled as he looked at me, his wincing as he pulled himself up against the nearby rock, only stopping his words when I snatched the potion from him and downed it as he watched before pulling out another and pushing it once more toward his lips.

_Drink, you idiot Nord! I'll not lose a Brother, even if he has proved himself stupid! Even if you seem to have forgotten how to treasure our Family, that doesn't mean I have forgotten as well! Now drink!_

Pushing the bottle against his lips, I scowled at him until he finally brought his own hand up and tilted the bottle to pour the liquid into his mouth. Watching me with a frown, he sighed as his wound finally stopped bleeding.

"Why would you heal me after I admitted that I hurt him? Shouldn't you want me dead?" He stared at me, leaning more heavily against the rock as he looked down at his side, prodding gently at the tender looking skin.

Slapping his hand away, I pulled out a clean rag and poured a splash of another healing potion on it before I began gently wiping at the area, finally handing the rag to the man. Grabbing some charcoal from another pouch, I turned to another rock and wrote on it, dropping some coins on the ground after I was done.

'When you are well enough, go to the town nearby and get healed. Then go home. Our family is worried enough, don't make them mourn a Brother's loss when you are still alive.'

Turning away, I walked to the Black Door I had not even noticed until he'd mentioned it with a wave of his hand. I hurried my step when I noticed Ellery sitting beside the Door, lifting his head at my approach.

_Ellery! Ellery, are you okay? Did you get hurt? How badly is our Cicero hurt? Oh, Ellery! Thank you for following him for me! Thank you!_

_"Well, I told you I would keep watch on him for you. I couldn't just leave him to escape alone. And if I hadn't, then how would you get inside without the password? Besides, you need both of us with you to open the Black Door, so at least this way I got to rest for a while before you arrived,"_ he said, slowly climbing to his feet before walking over and brushing my hair away from my face. _"And Faith? You're welcome."_

Blinking up at him, I fidgeted for a moment before stepping back.

_Oh... Umm, let's get the Door open so we can go find our Jester Assassin. He needs us, right? I've used up enough time!_

Taking a step toward the Door, I placed my hand upon its cold surface, closing my eyes as I felt Amicus pat my shoulder as he stepped up next to me. Soon, another hand rested on my shoulder as Ellery placed his left hand against mine.

_"Let's save our Fool. After all, we can't just let him die. It would break your heart and... I don't want to see you cry like that again. Once was enough, dear Valencia. I'll not let it happen, not again,"_ Ellery said softly before turning to the door and waited for Amicus to place his hand upon the door.

_**What... is life's greatest... illusion?**_

Soon Ellery was whispering the words, _"Innocence, my brother. A great illusion, indeed. And one that far too many shatter beyond repair, often without a thought of what they do until it is far too late to apologize."_


	74. Chapter 74

I could feel a chill in the air as I crept down the stairs leading away from the Black Door, Ellery hurrying ahead to begin checking the areas ahead of us. Amicus followed close behind me, ready to react to anything we might find. If our Jester Assassin had hidden away in here, then likely there were traps waiting for anyone who followed him inside, keeping him safe from any who might wish him ill. The thought did little to comfort me when I saw the blood that had been spilled upon the floor by the wound he'd received from our Too Tall Brother outside.

_What if I took too long outside, Amicus? Was I a fool to spend so long trying to help our Brother? Is our Cicero going to pay the price for the time I took?_

I gasped when I saw a vaguely familiar blue glow from up ahead, Ellery dancing around it as it slashed at him. It was only when I saw the second ghostly figure that I realized it was not the Listener's summoned guardian ahead of us and Ellery truly was in danger.

_Don't hurt him! Stop! Mother would not want her children fighting!_

Running down the last of the steps, I pulled my dagger out and blocked the next swing, pushing the blade to the side as I began a familiar dance. This time, however, it was meant to defend me and my companions as we began moving in a half-circle around the spectral guardians of this Sanctuary. It was when the second entity joined the fight that I thanked Sithis for all the practice with Cicero, pulling out a second dagger to fend off the second blade.

_Please, I need to find my Cicero! He needs me! Don't you understand? I need to make sure he lives! Mother, please stop them! Please!_

My eyes widened in panic when I saw another blue glow to the side, coming from around a corner. I was barely handling defending against two, how was I to keep a third at bay? I didn't want to have to actually fight against our Brothers, even if they were already dead!

_No, no, no! This isn't right! Amicus, why must I harm those who were once Family in life? Why must I hurt them?!_

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt familiar hands grasp my wrists, the feeling of slipping into the role of Puppet allowing me to fade from the anguish of seeing my movements change from defensive to deadly as the first specter exploded into light when a dagger slashed across its throat.

_"Shhh, let me take care of this. I'll keep us safe so that you can see our Cicero again. We will find him, together. I promise, now hush, dearest Faith,"_ Amicus' voice whispered gently from behind me, the Puppet Master taking control.

* * *

"Who is it that has come to kill Cicero? Not the mutt, Cicero would have heard him by now if he got in. No, not that lumbering dog. Perhaps the Unchild? No, no, she would not have come so quickly with the sun against her. Ah, maybe it is the Listener, sent to kill Cicero for his supposed betrayal? Hah! Did the Fallen Pretender convince everyone of her lie?" The voice echoed along the passageway, followed by cackling as Ellery hurried ahead of us.

Amicus guided my steps as I focused on watching for traps, my hands trembling as I made my way down the stairs. Seeing another glowing specter ahead as we made our way out into a large chamber, I forced down the guilt and drew my dagger.

* * *

I'd banged against the door, for once truly upset that I had no voice to call out to my Cicero and tell him it was me on the other side of the door, that I was here to help him. Without a voice, all I could do was sob quietly against the door before pulling away and moving on, glad that at least he was still alive in there.

Walking toward the broken window, snow spilling out from the tunnel beyond it, I jumped in shock at the sudden shout of my love from the other side of the door.

"Brrr! Chilly! You'll enjoy this. Not an original part of the Sanctuary, per se. Let's call it a "forced addition." Forced by what? Oh, come and see!" He cackled again, coughing a few times before starting up again.

_My poor Fool, what have you got hidden in here? What must I go up against before I am able to find a way back to you? Why can't I just call out to you and tell you that you are safe? No, it doesn't matter if you can hear me or not. I will find you and then I am never leaving your side again! I promise! Even if it costs me everything else I have, I will never let you be alone again!_

Steeling myself, I took the first step into the cave, shivering at the sudden icy breeze that rushed past me. The splatters of blood I passed as I moved further down the tunnel did nothing to make me feel better about this "forced addition" of his.

* * *

Of course, it would be a troll! Only my Cicero would think such a thing to be 'enjoyable', silly Fool! Ahh, but I had to admit, if not for Amicus and Ellery doing their best to assist me, I likely would not have survived the fight. As it was, I hadn't gotten out without my own fair share of injuries, downing another potion as I clutched at my bleeding side. I could only pray I would reach my Cicero without needing to use any more of the potions. As it was, I worried if I would have enough to fully heal him of any wounds.

"All right, so Cicero attacked that harlot, Astrid! But what's a fool to do, when she slanders and mocks someone so very important to him? Surely the Listener understands!"

_Oh, Cicero... I understand, I really do, but I wish you had waited until I returned! I could have kept you safe! I could have stopped her from saying what she did! Did she really mock our Mother? I'm so sorry, my Cicero!_

"The Listener is much quieter than he usually is, but Cicero knows he is getting closer. Ahh, but perhaps the Listener is simply listening! But to who? Surely not Mother! Mother would not want this!"

Turning, I went to head further into the depths, desperate to get to my Cicero as he began coughing again, the sound sending shivers down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold.

* * *

"Cicero admits, he thought the Listener would be dead by now. Not that he wanted him dead, no. That would make dear Faith cry and Cicero does not want that, not at all! Maybe we could just forget all this? Hmm? Let bygones be bygones? What do you say?"

The words echoed down the hallway as I limped my way past the pile of blue goo that was left behind by yet another specter, blood dripping onto the floor from the newest wound I'd received. I dared not drink another potion, though, not wanting to risk the chance of not having enough to heal my love when I finally made it to him.

It was several minutes later that I finally made it to the end of the hallway, only to hear coughing from closer than before, followed by another laugh before he shouted yet again.

"If it's any comfort, I do feel slightly bad about everything. Well, not for attacking the harlot! But I didn't want to hurt the Family, not after it was finally feeling like... well, a Family! I... I didn't want to hurt sweet Faith... She will be so sad to see the Family broken again..."

_Oh, Cicero, that doesn't matter! The Family can be put together again! We did it once, we can do it again! But not if you aren't there! It can't be a Family without you! So don't you dare die, my foolish Fool!_

Stumbling up toward the last barrier that lay between me and my Cicero, I paused when I heard yet another cough echoing down the hallway.

"And now we come to the end of our play. The grand finale." He sounded fainter than before, his voice weaker as he spoke.

Ellery stepped aside, his face grim as he nodded at me, watching as I took the final steps to the room that held my Jester Assassin.


	75. Chapter 75

_Oh, Cicero! What did he do to you! Please, hold on! I'm coming!_

I hurried through the doorway, stumbling as I gripped my side to stop the blood that began flowing again with my movement.

"Faith? What? How? Cicero doesn't understand... Surely Faith did not come here alone, fighting against the guardians... Fighting against the... no, not sweet Faith, haha... Oh Faith, sweetness, what did you do to yourself?" He tried to push himself up from the ground, collapsing before he could even straighten his arms as he began coughing, blood seeping down his side.

_Of course I didn't come alone! Amicus and Ellery are here with me, as they always are! They helped me, my Cicero! They made sure I could get to you! Now drink this, quickly!_

I pulled one of the few potions remaining from my pouch, pushing it into his hands once I finally reached his side, lowering myself to the floor beside him. When he tried to refuse it, I scowled at him and pushed his hands away, tapping the neck of the bottle against his lips until he finally opened his mouth reluctantly. Moments later, the flow of blood had slowed and he pushed the empty bottle away from his lips.

"Cicero refuses to take another potion until sweet Faith does so as well. He will not watch her bleed out while he drinks her potions," he said with what little strength he had remaining in his voice.

Scowling, I looked into my pouch, counting how few bottles there were left that were not empty. I'd had to use far more than I thought. There were not enough for both of us left, not if I wanted him fully healed. Not even enough for him to be mostly healed.

_Cicero, if I drink one, then that only leaves one more potion for you. It won't be enough to close the wounds on your side, not fully. Cicero, my Cicero, I can't just go get more potions from Babette! Let me heal you! I can just stitch my own wounds closed afterward! I've done so before!_

"Drink the potion, sweetness. Cicero does not mind if his dearest has to stitch Cicero's side closed instead of her own. Surely she wouldn't mind tending to Cicero's remaining wounds while he rests? He promises to be a good patient. But, Cicero would rather that his Faith is healed this time. It was hard enough watching her mend each of the previous times she was hurt, even with the Unchild's potions last time. Don't make Cicero go through that again, please... Besides, Cicero wouldn't mind having pretty stitches on his side, like what his dear Faith has," he said, smiling painfully up at me from where he lay on the stone floor. "Surely she can think of something suitable for someone like her Cicero?"

* * *

"Sweetness, Faith, do not worry. Cicero will be okay. He just needs more rest," he mumbled from the pile of furs and blankets he lay upon, the fireplace warming the room as pieces of broken furniture slowly burned within.

_How can I not worry? It's only been a day and already I have to leave you! One day and already I am breaking my promise to never leave your side!_

_"It is you leave him to get medicine or you stay and watch him die from the fever. Go, I'll stay behind with him so he won't be alone,"_ Ellery said, gently pushing me toward the doorway.

_I... Please, Cicero, be okay until I can get back with the medicine! Promise me you won't give in to the fever!_

He barely had the chance to nod before I was turning and running down the hallway.

* * *

No, no, I was such a fool! How was I supposed to get back inside without Ellery? But I couldn't just leave my Cicero alone! Oh, what was I to do now? Just as I was about to bang my hand against the Door again, it began swinging open, Ellery's hand shooting out to grab me and pull me inside as Amicus slipped in behind me.

_"Hurry! It's gotten dangerous in here!"_ He rushed down the path to the stairs, pulling me behind him as he ran toward the door leading to our Jester Assassin.

_What do you mean? What's happening?_

I lost my breath at the sight of a specter appearing from the icy tunnel, turning quickly on my feet to dart through the door and shut it behind us, dropping the bar down as I heard a shout from the other side.

_"Remember how the Listener can resummon his ghost each day? I think it's like that, Faith, but with a lot more than one. I was lucky they didn't catch me when I went up to the door to get you,"_ Ellery said, pulling me down the passageway to the room I had left our Cicero in.

Seeing him laying on the floor, gasping for breath, had me running to him as I pulled the bottle from my pouch. It was all I could do to get him to swallow most of the potion without choking and spitting it back out as he began rambling about the laughter and needing to take care of Mother.

_Hush, my Cicero. Mother will wait for you to be well. She wouldn't want you to make yourself worse trying to get to her. You can't tend to her when you are so ill. Lay still, be calm and when you are better, I promise I will take you back to Mother. Together, Cicero. We will return to her together when the time is right, but for now, you need to rest. The potions can only do so much, my love._

"Sweetness? 's sumthin' wrong? Look s' worry?" The words slurred from his lips as he brushed a shaky hand against my cheek.

_Don't worry, Cicero. Everything will be okay. I just need to be careful for a little while. And I'm sure I can sneak past them if I need to leave the room for something!_

"Pass who?" He mumbled as he lowered his hand to rest upon his stomach, trying hard to keep his eyes open as he looked at my lips.

_Hush, I'll tell you after you have slept. You know, I'm a little tired myself after all that running around. Maybe I'll take a quick nap with you._

I curled up against his side, running a hand over his forehead and sighing at the reduced heat radiating from his skin. It was going to be okay. He was going to be okay. He had to be, I wouldn't fail him. Not this time. Slowly, I curled my arm around his waist, feeling my fingers brush against the stitches on his side until I was as close as I could get to him, my head resting against his chest as I listened to his heart beating under my ear.

I couldn't lose him. Not Cicero. If I lost my dear Jester Assassin, my Cicero, all the stitches in the world wouldn't stop me from breaking apart.


	76. Chapter 76

"Sweetness? You need to wake up. As much as he enjoys having you wrapped around him like this, Cicero needs to get up. Nature's call will not be refused for long," his voice sang into the air around me as he poked gently at my side until I shifted away, eyes blinking open as I looked up at my Jester Assassin when he moved to lean over me.

Pressing his lips against my forehead, he smiled before pulling away so he could push himself to his feet slowy, managing to keep his balance only by using the wall to brace himself against as he made his way toward the door. Climbing quickly to my feet, I hurried to grab his other arm and pull it over my shoulders, careful not to pull at the stitches in his side.

"Faith? Cicero can make it. Pretty Faith can stay and rest more and her Cicero will return to her quickly," he said softly, his voice raspy as he tried to lift his arm away.

_No. I'll not have you wandering the Sanctuary alone, not with wounds still healing. What if the fever returns? Or you fall on the stairs? No, you need me with you and I'll not let you out of my sight until you are fully healed! I already left you once to get medicine, I'm not leaving you again! Oh... But, I will turn my head away once we find someplace for you to... relieve yourself._

I turned my head away, blushing fiercely at the sudden laughter he managed before he gave a dry cough, leaning heavily against me as he tried to catch his breath again.

"Cicero thinks some water might be nice while we are up and moving around?"

* * *

"Why didn't Faith tell Cicero that the guardians were active again? He would have made sure they knew not to attack her," he whispered into my ear as he watched the nearest specter move closer, glancing between me and Cicero.

_I wanted you to rest. The fever had only just broken when you fell asleep, after all. But maybe now would be a good time to tell them?_

**"The Night Mother... spoke to us in the void. We wish to apologize, as we did not know you were her favored Child. As the Keeper is, you too shall be safe from harm so long as we stand. Although, your companions do well in protecting you. Perhaps you and your companions would be willing to join our ranks someday?"** The whispered voice echoed strangely as the ghostly entity stopped and bowed before straightening up again.

_My place is with my Cicero, to stay beside him for as long as Mother allows it._

_"And our place is with Faith, for as long as we exist,"_ Ellery said as he walked forward, passing the specter on his way toward the Sanctuaries exit. _"If you want any of us, then you will have to convince Mother to send all of us, since I doubt the Jester Assassin will let Faith leave his side for the likes of you. And I don't see Mother giving up her Keeper so easily. Especially after you hurt the Keeper's lover when she was simply trying to get to his side where she belongs."_

**"Well, I shall make sure to talk to both of them when I next have the opportunity to visit them in the Void. It would be interesting to see if you would join us as three or as one,"** the spirit said with a smirk before turning and moving back down to the main chambers where the other guardians waited.

"Ignore them, sweetness. Mother would not let them take you from Cicero's side and his place shall be with Mother in the void, not here to wander the halls of a long empty Sanctuary that the Family forgot even existed," Cicero said softly, pulling me carefully against his side as he began moving forward again. "Perhaps we shall be lucky and they will be off doing something useful when we return. Like cleaning up some of the mess around here."

Grumbling, he began to move down the final corridor that led to the exit, frowning at the stairs leading up to the Black Door.

"Why do all the Sanctuaries in Skyrim have so many stairs? Why not a simple sloping path now and then? Do they never think of those who might be injured? Stupid stairs," he muttered, placing his hand against the wall as I reached out to open the door.

_They likely figured that there would be potions to cure anything that was wrong. There were the remains of an alchemists area inside, so I am sure at one time they had plenty of potions and poisons to keep everyone supplied_.

"Yes, well that was all good for them," he said with a sigh, shivering when he felt the cold wind sweeping down the waterfront. "Oh, look! Suddenly Cicero feels much better!"

Pointing down at the blood staining the ground, he grinned widely until he saw the frown on my face.

"Ah, sorry. Cicero was just glad that he wasn't the only one to take an injury during the fight. For a mutt, he was rather... decent," he said, clearing his throat until he began coughing again.

_I know. You and he did not get along so well, but he is still our Brother, my Cicero. I am just glad he managed to get up again. He must have gone to town as I asked him to so that he could get healed. Hopefully, he will be on his way back to the Sanctuary by now._

"Oh, is that what the message was for?" He asked, pointing at the rock I had written on the day before. "Hmm, Cicero thinks Faith should not stay away from the Family for too long. They need her to guide them, otherwise, they might slip further away from Mother again. Cicero... Cicero is sorry that he might have caused trouble for kind Faith."

_Cicero, as long as I have you beside me, then everything will be okay. Trouble or not, as long as I can see your smiles and hear your laughter, it will be worth any price I must pay to be with you. Besides, the Family wouldn't be my family if you were not part of it and it was not you who caused the trouble in the first place. Just let me stand at your side and I'll happily lead our Family back to Mother's arms as many times as I have to!_

Smiling, I leaned up enough to press my lips against his cheek before pulling away with a laugh.

_Now, didn't you say that nature was calling for you? Is there any particular part of nature that beckons to you?_

Blushing, he turned his head away and motioned toward a small cluster of trees.

"Over there will do for now. Just... Let Cicero have a bit of privacy?" He pulled his arm from my shoulder, trailing his fingers along my cheek before taking a few steps away from the door. "And thank you, dearest Faith. For finding Cicero when he needed you. You always return when Cicero needs you most."


	77. Chapter 77

I opened my eyes slowly, listening to the soft sounds my Cicero was making in his sleep. Quiet hums and whispery laughs as whatever he dreamed of caused a quick smile to curl his lips for a moment before he sighed, his arm tightening around me as if reminding himself I was still there. Shifting carefully, my fingers tracing the patterns stitched into his side, I brushed my lips against his jaw.

"Mmm, Cicero could enjoy waking up like this more often. Although, he would prefer having a bed beneath him. The furs help, but only so much and Cicero isn't as young as he used to be," he mumbled as he slowly stretched his back, stopping when he felt the stitches tighten.

Bringing a hand down, he ran his fingers along the pattern in his side before covering my hand with his own. Finally opening his eyes, he looked down at me curled against his side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Cicero has found a new respect for how quickly his Faith moves when she dances with Cicero. How does she manage to move like that without pulling her stitches? How can she even stretch like she does without it hurting? Cicero just wants to stretch his back out and that is enough to pull them tight," he chuckled, his fingers moving again to trace at his side.

_I'll take yours out once you are healed enough. I never expected you to keep them in, but you did say you wanted something pretty. Don't worry! I'll make sure they don't leave any scars! I'll make sure to have the good salve when I take them out!_

"No! I... I mean, no thank you. Cicero doesn't mind the stitches. Faith made them look so nice for her Cicero, he would hate to see the effort wasted! He... Cicero likes the idea of having something more than just the ring to remind him of his Faith when she isn't next to him. He just wishes that they didn't pull so much," he pulled his lower lip between his teeth as he glanced down at my arm, his fingers moving to trace the patterns there. "Is there a secret to keeping them from doing so? Some spell or enchantment that Faith uses to keep her stitches from... well, from ripping out if she moves too quickly or stretches too far?"

_You... want to keep the stitches? Do you really like them so much? Oh! If you want to keep them, then I'll put the salve on them! It'll help with the pulling issue! I just... didn't think you would want to keep them in. But if you are keeping them, then it won't matter if the skin heals around the stitches! If you keep them, then the scars left behind won't be an issue, right? Because if they come out, I can just stitch them back again!_

I moved to sit up, reaching out for the pouch containing the salve kept for my stitches. Holding it in my hand, I almost wanted to smack myself. Even if it didn't do much, I could have used this on my poor Cicero earlier. It might have been enough to keep the fever away before, but at least it would ensure there was no chance of infection in the coming days.

Shaking my head at myself, I grinned and turned back to see my Jester Assassin sitting up with his sleep shirt half pulled off as he looked down at the pattern in his side. One finger traced along the feathers that stretched across his abdomen, the crow's wings spread as if in flight.

"Why did Faith pick a crow for her Cicero?" He asked the question softly, peering up at me as he lowered his hand back down. "Cicero likes it, but he wonders at the reasoning behind it?"

_Because, like a crow, you are smart and cunning. You see more than you let on to others, watching for the best opportunity to strike at your enemy. You'll never forget those who do you wrong, just as you remember those who are your friend. But most of all, like a crow, when someone goes against you, they go against the entire flock... You will never be alone again because you'll always have another crow at your side. Our flock might be small, but we'll always have each other._

Lifting the shirt I was wearing up with my empty hand, I showed him my own side, the beginnings of a black feathered wing stretching across my skin.

_Now let's get the salve on your own stitches. You'll feel better once that's done._

"Oh... When did Faith start replacing those stitches? Cicero didn't see," he spoke slowly, his hand reaching out to slip under my shirt just enough to feel the threads under his fingertips. "Did Faith do this while Cicero was sleeping?"

_It helped me stay awake while you were sleeping the first night. But I would have changed the stitches anyhow. I... thought it would be nice... to match..._

I blushed as I opened the jar, scooping out a bit of the salve before I began spreading it across the stitches and working it into his skin.

"Ah! Cold! That's cold! Sweetling, can't you at least warm it some for your poor Cicero before you slather it across his skin?"


	78. Chapter 78

I sighed happily as I felt his warm breath against my cheek, his soft humming filling the air as we slowly moved amidst the thickly falling snowflakes. In the past few days, my Cicero had recovered quickly from both his injuries and the weakness the fever had left him with. Tomorrow we would set out to return to the Sanctuary in Falkreath, hopefully to a Family that would accept us back without a fight. One without the Fallen Leader whispering her poison into our Siblings ears.

But for now, for these precious few hours that we had together, we danced with our arms around each other. My hands rested on my Jester Assassin's shoulders, his own on my hips as we swayed and spun, stepped back and forth with eyes only for each other. I could faintly hear Ellery and Amicus whispering to each other, but that too faded beneath the gentle words that my Cicero began to sing so quietly into my ear.

* * *

_I finished the stitches, my Cicero. I'm sorry it took so long, but I wanted to make sure I didn't mess up. I know how important this is to you._

Walking up to where he sat near the hearth, his journal resting in his lap as he'd lowered it upon my entering the room, I knelt beside him and held out his carefully cleaned and folded motley. It had taken hours to remove the bloodstains and stitch together the rips from where our Brother had sliced into my Cicero's side with his claws.

"Sweet Faith even cleaned Cicero's motley? She didn't have to do so much for Cicero! He would have been happy enough just having her stitch it together again, as her stitches are much finer than his own. Cicero has gotten better over the years, but he's not nearly as practiced as his talented Faith is," he said as he sat his journal aside and reached out for the clothing, unfolding the cloth to inspect the results. "Oh, Cicero can hardly see the stitches at all! And... did Faith?"

He grew still as he ran his finger along the motley's collar, the gold thread vibrant against the faded red and black of the outfit. I began fidgeting as I worried that he was upset with me for doing something like this without asking his permission first.

_I'm sorry, Cicero! I just... the gold thread was so frayed and worn, it just didn't stand out the way it should and when I was washing the blood out, some of the threads came undone. I was just going to replace the areas that were broken, but then the new thread looked so pretty and the older threads just looked sad in comparison and I just couldn't stop myself and the next thing I knew, I had replaced all the gold... Oh... And I need to buy more gold thread next time we find some?_

I pulled out the wooden spool that had once had a vibrant gold thread wrapped around it, now replaced by carefully collected, worn and faded gold thread, the places where it had broken carefully tied together.

_I saved the thread so if you want... I'll put it back again..._

"Silly Faith, acting like Cicero is mad at her for wanting to make his motley look pretty again. But perhaps... maybe instead of using up her fine thread on his motley, no matter how much he treasures it and always will... perhaps she should work on making a new motley? One that her Cicero can wear when he wants to look... nice for his Faith?" He looked down as he ran his hand along the faded fabric of his motley, glancing up when I reached out to rest my hand on his.

_Cicero, you don't need a new motley to look nice for me. You look handsome no matter what you are wearing! Besides, you love your motley and I wouldn't ask you to replace it. Things like your motley can't be so easily replaced as that... I know that very well indeed. How about... instead of making you a new motley... yes, that might work. It'll take a while, but I think it might be... yes. I like that idea._

Nodding, I leaned forward and pressed my lips gently against his before leaning back again.

_And I won't mind if you want me to put your thread back, my Cicero. Just say the word and it is done._

"No, Cicero thinks the new thread looks pretty. But he does ask that Faith keeps the old thread for him. Maybe she can make something else with it? Something for her to wear, to remind her of her Cicero," he whispered softly, brushing his lips against my cheek before pulling away again. "That would make Cicero happy to see."

Blushing, I looked into his eyes and slowly nodded, raising a hand to run through his hair as I leaned forward. If it would make him happy, cause him to smile at me each day he saw it, then I would figure out something to make with his thread. Something that would remind me of the amazing treasure I had found when we met, so I would never forget the warmth he'd brought into my life.

Feeling his fingers trace my cheek, I opened eyes I hadn't even realized I'd closed, gazing once more into honey-brown eyes as the flecks of gold seemed to almost swim within them. My heart was racing in my chest as he leaned closer, pausing as his eyes filled my vision, the firelight reflecting within like they had caused a fire to rage within their depths.

"Sweetness... Dearest Faith... Cicero wanted you since he first saw you. When he realized that he hadn't lost his chance to be with you, even after so long apart, he was... Faith, my Faith... I love you."


	79. Chapter 79

Shivering, I reached down to pull the blankets up over us, the fire having burned out at some point during the night. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips as I felt the warmth of his skin against my cheek, turning enough to press my lips against his bare shoulder. Feeling his fingers begin running through my hair as he stretched his other arm out to grab his motley from where it sat folded nearby, I looked up to see him smiling at me.

_Hmmm, I could wake up like this more often._

I winked at him after saying words similar to his own from the other morning, my fingers slowly tracing over the crow stitched into his side. His hand lowered from my hair and slowly curled around my fingers, pulling my hand up toward his lips for a gentle kiss.

"Cicero would happily grant that desire, every day he continues to live. He would do so within the Void as well if he could find a way, but he is unsure if the Void has mornings... or sleep? Hmm, perhaps he can just pretend to sleep once in a while so that he can 'wake up' in his sweet Faith's arms? Preferably with her dressed just as she is right now. That would definitely put a smile on her Cicero's lips," he said with a grin, his hand releasing my fingers as he moved to run it slowly down my side. "Cicero is fairly certain his lovely Faith enjoyed Cicero's... company last night? At least, if he bases such things on how long she has been running her other hand up and down his chest since she woke up and the fact she isn't trying to move away."

Watching as he finally sat up and began pulling his motley over his head, I smiled even as a blush spread across my face. I could almost laugh at myself for having waited so long to be with him, but at the same time, it felt like it was right that it happened here, in this place that wasn't stained so heavily with betrayal and distrust as the other Sanctuary. No, although it was not perfect here, at least it was only shadowed by what we had brought in ourselves.

_How could I not have enjoyed your company, when you make it so... delightful? And I am assuming you feel the same if I go by how much you smiled in your sleep last night._

"Faith... watched Cicero sleep last night?" I gave a silent laugh at the look on his face, somewhere between curious and cautious.

_Oh Cicero, don't look at me like you haven't watched me sleep! Besides, if I hadn't at least a little last night, I would have missed hearing you say the words again._

"Words? What words?" He paused, one foot still bare as he tilted his head to one side.

_I love you._

"Cicero loves Faith, too," he smiled gently before continuing his search for his other boot.

* * *

It felt strange to pass by the lake again, remembering how slowly we had gone when last we traveled this road together when we were in such a hurry now. We'd set the pace as quick as we could go without exhausting the horses, hoping that we could travel longer and more than make up any distance lost by going slower. It also meant we didn't have to exchange horses as we had on the way to Dawnstar, allowing the horses we had to rest properly each night as we slept. Even if we were in a hurry to return, we felt no need to push ourselves nor the horses.

Not until we saw the smoke rising into the sky ahead of us, my heart tightening painfully as I turned to meet my Cicero's horrified gaze before we both began pushing our horses to hurry, faster!

It felt like hours passed as we raced down the path before finally turning off, seeing a few soldiers still waiting beside carts that held a few barrels each, hurrying to meet us with shouts when they caught sight of us riding closer.

"Halt! By order of the Empire!" One shouted, drawing his sword as he stood in front of the handful of soldiers spread behind him.

Looking beyond them, I saw flames flickering, the light shining on a body that was pinned to the tree next to where the Black Door hung open. And everything went red, only Cicero's shout of rage filtering through to dance around the grief and anger that burned within me. And dance we did, the soldiers falling before blades they barely had time to see shine in the light of the fire before we moved to the next.

We moved through the entry, sweeping quietly down the stairs as we snuck up behind our enemies and cut them down with a blade across their throat or through their ribs whenever possible. The few who saw us coming didn't even have time to shout a warning before they too fell at our feet, eyes staring into the Void where our Dread Father waited.

When we made it into the main chamber, I saw Ellery rush past us, his wild laughter filling the air over the sounds of the flames that burned along the walls. Amicus cried out his own rage when we saw our Too Tall Nord nearly surrounded by soldiers, grabbing my spare dagger from the sheath before doing something he'd never done before.

I barely saw the deep red of his hair as he ran past me, racing to take down one of the soldiers who had been slipping behind our Brother, and the shock had me pausing for a moment before I turned to see Cicero looking with wide eyes at the dagger plunged into the soldiers back. We both gave a quick shake of our heads before running forward to take down as many soldiers as we could, knowing we didn't have time to dwell on what had happened, no matter how unexpected for each of us. We had to save as many of our family as we could!

As soon as the last soldier fell, we turned toward the stairs leading deeper within the sanctuary, seeing the fire that filled them before changing direction and making our way toward the kitchens instead. We would have to take the long path to get to Mother, praying to Sithis that he keep her safe until we got to her.

Behind us, a howl filled the chamber before the wolf carried the fallen body of our scaled Brother outside of the burning Sanctuary. It almost matched the sound that filled my mind when I saw our Sister fall, a sword plunged through her body.

A dagger clattered to the ground as a scream filled the air.


	80. Chapter 80

I could hear whispers around me, muffled by the darkness I felt like I was floating within.

"What happened? How did she-"

The darkness shivered for a moment, shifting around me.

"-found her with Mother. They were-"

A faint light appeared in the distance, barely visible as I tried to move toward it.

"-and just who is-"

As the light grew faintly brighter, a figure slowly appeared as another voice joined the whispers, but closer. More easy to make out what he said.

_**"Things have changed, Juni. He's not part of you anymore. Only the one left, what will you do now?"**_

I squinted, trying to make out who it was in the distance as they began walking closer. I could just make out faint laughter in the background, somehow both close and far away from me.

_I don't understand. What do you mean?_

"Don't bother asking her. She won't be able to tell you what happened. She won't remember. She never does when He visits her like that."

"And how would you know? I've never even seen you before."

_**"You'll understand. You just need to-"**_

"Of course you never saw me, but that doesn't mean I wasn't there."

"Wake up, Faith. Come back to your Cicero."

The darkness that had been surrounding me grew steadily brighter, the figure cackling as a hint of purple shimmered before they vanished entirely, my eyes opening as my view was filled with honey and gold.

_Cicero? What happened?_

I brought a trembling hand up to trail through his hair, wincing at the pain in my shoulder from the movement.

"Cicero thinks that pretty Faith should see for herself. Maybe she will remember enough to tell Cicero how that one found his way here?" He wrapped his arms carefully around me before leaning back, gently settling me against his side before pointing ahead of us.

Looking up, blinking a few times to help focus on what he was pointing at, all I saw was Ellery leaning against a scorched wall. Looking to the side, I saw the Kitchen Master and the Listener watching me closely.

_I don't understand, my Cicero. I don't see anything unusual. Just Ellery, the Kitchen Master, and my Bastian here with us._

"That is just it, sweetling. We all see Ellery. _All _of us," he spoke quietly, his gaze drifting to my Jester before returning to my face. "Cicero is unsure how it happened and hoped that his Faith could help explain."

_Someone... someone said he's not a part of me anymore... but what does that mean?_

"It means I am my own person again, Faith. Although... different than before, but that is to be expected I think. After all, I held a part of you within me for so long, how could it not change me?" Ellery spoke softly, his eyes cast down as he pushed away from the wall to take a step forward before halting when the Kitchen Master moved his hand to rest against his sword. "I'm sorry, Faith... Juniper, you didn't deserve the way I treated you after... after everything that happened. I-"

"Juniper, who the hell is this guy!" Bastian shouted, walking over to stand between me and Ellery as I stared at my Jester in shock.

Blinking, I looked up into Bastian's eyes as I reached up to grasp my Cicero's hand, still leaning against him for support. I wasn't sure if my brother would like the answer, but I could see Ellery give a slight nod to me, telling me he would accept whatever I decided to say. In the peripherals of my vision, I could make out two more figures enter the chamber.

_Ellery was my... my lover back in the Imperial City. He... I..._

I took a deep breath, holding up my hand to stop anyone from speaking. I was sure that everyone could see the tremble that ran through my fingers.

_Things happened and I made... a choice that ended with... Ellery, my Ellery... he died. At the hands of an assassin. I... hired the Dark Brotherhood to kill my unfaithful lover. I-_

"I cheated on her and then, instead of apologizing, I tried to lay the blame at her feet. I was an ass and although assassination was a bit much... I know now that if I had simply come back to her, if I had told her I was sorry like I should have... it was my own foolish pride that led to my death and I was stupid enough and she hated herself enough that when I returned to her... I'll never be able to undo the years of wrong that followed my return," he started out sounding so confident, yet bitter, but by the end of his words, he was barely whispering as he sank to the ground just beyond Bastian. "All I can do is try to earn your forgiveness, Juniper. No matter how long that takes."

_Ellery... I... I'm almost done with your newest cap. If it's still not right, then maybe this time you can tell me what kind of cap you want me to make you._

I smiled up at him even as the tears ran down my cheeks. My Ellery was finally able to bring his Laughter back to the rest of the world. Oh, but what about...

_"I'm still with you, dear Faith. I'll always be with you, for that is my place in this world,"_ Amicus whispered softly, dark red hair appearing for a moment as I felt warm lips brush against my cheek before vanishing again. _"No matter what the future holds, I'll never leave you."_

"Does anyone know how the Penitus Oculatus found the Sanctuary? How did they get through the Door? And how did Ellery return to life, when his soul should have been in the Void?" Babette's voice echoed through the remains of the burned chamber.

When I turned to look at her, I saw Mother's coffin standing near the pool, the doors open and her body revealed to me at last. And she was... terrifyingly lovely to behold.

"I think the more important question all of you should be asking is... are you going to do as Mother requested and complete the contract? And also, who is going to go with Mother to the other Sanctuary and who shall have the pleasure of killing the Emperor? I doubt you want to leave Mother behind, after all. You'll need her to guide what remains of the Brotherhood. We don't want to just vanish, do we?" Ellery stood, a smirk appearing on his face as he brushed off his black and gold motley.

"Oh, is the poncy runt one of us now?" The Tall Nord growled the words, taking a step toward the Jester.

"He has been one of us since sweet Faith joined. And the mutt can't tell Cicero that he doesn't think kind Faith is one of us. Cicero saw how the mutt reacted when he saw her fall with Mother's coffin. After all, Cicero reacted the same way."


	81. Chapter 81

_Hush Arn. My Cicero, tell me what happened later, but for now... Right now, Ellery is right. We can't leave Mother here in this place. This Sanctuary is no longer secure and we need to bring her someplace safe. The other Sanctuary is the only option we have right now. But at the same time, it was the Empire's soldiers who attacked us, no matter who's command they were under. And how better to tell them how bad a mistake that was than to take their leader out from under their very noses? The Emperor shall die and it shall be by our hands._

My smile was not a pleasant one as I moved my gaze from my Jester Assassin to the other members of my family. The Wolf Nord, the Kitchen Master, Babette the Not Child, Ellery, and Bastian who was both brother and Listener. These were all that remained of the Family besides Amicus, Cicero and I, a realization that broke my heart.

Even if it was not that many lost, it was still far too high a number for such a small family group. Too many treasures lost before they could even truly be claimed. The sobs that broke through my smile, shook my body and made my heart clench had my Cicero wrapping his arms around me all over again as he pulled me back against him from where I had shifted forward to look at him earlier.

"Faith, sweet Faith, tell Cicero what he must do to bring back her smile. Please, he can't bear to see his love cry like this... It breaks his heart," he whispered softly as he began running his fingers through my hair.

Shaking my head, I turned and wrapped my arms around him, not caring how much it hurt to move. I just wanted to be held by the arms of my lover, those arms that had always made me feel so safe and cared about. He didn't have to say or do anything, as long as he held me.

_Just hold me, my Cicero. Just let me feel that you are beside me, still safe from death's reach. Father can't have you yet. I still need you too much for him to take you away._

* * *

It took hours to get everything sorted out, but it was ultimately decided that the Kitchen Master, the Wolf Nord, Babette, and Ellery would take Mother to the Dawnstar Sanctuary while Bastian, Cicero, Amicus and I would head over to take care of the Emperor and his guards. Ellery was the only one of that group who knew the password and so it would remain until such time as we returned and decided what the next step would be for the Dark Brotherhood. Or rather, until Mother let us know what it would be.

In the meantime, Bastian would focus on the Emperor himself, while the rest of us would take care of the guards. If needed, I would be unlocking doors for the Listener, but mostly I would be focusing on watching out for traps and making sure that nobody slipped up behind Bastian. Amicus would be watching out for both me and Cicero, but if we needed to split up, he'd promised to keep our Jester Assassin safe for me.

I'd almost felt guilty about the enjoyment I got at seeing Ellery's face as the wagon slowly began to move away, Babette sitting down beside him and beginning to ask the first of what I was sure would be many questions. For once, it would not be me answering the endless questions she had about my Ellery. Perhaps she would even get him to tell her something new about Amicus.

_Amicus, do you want to be like Ellery is now? He seems... happier now that he can interact with everyone._

_"It is not the Family that he wishes to interact with, dearest Faith. But no, I do not want to be like Ellery, although if the chance comes, I would not refuse it. I will be happy, whether or not I ever gain a body of my own. I'm just not sure what the cost would be for each of us, since I am not like Ellery,"_ my Assassin whispered as he stood behind me, waiting for me to get on one of the waiting horses.

_Well, that is true. You didn't die as he did. Did you?_

_"No, sweet Faith. I never died. I'm not sure what things would be like for us if your assassin had died before you met him again. I can only imagine how bad things would have ended up for us all,"_ he said quietly, running his fingers through my hair before gently leading me to my Cicero's side. _"Ride with your Jester Assassin. He's waited so patiently for you, after all."_

_Oh... Okay._

Turning to my Cicero, I smiled and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, thankful that Babette had made sure my wounds were healed before she loaded her supplies onto the wagon.

_Amicus says I should ride with you since you waited so long for me._

"Well, Cicero sends his thanks to Amicus. Cicero has indeed waited a long time for his Faith to come back to him. But he must admit... he would have waited as long as it took for her to return to him and he would think dearest Faith worth having waited for, just as he does now. The only thing Cicero regrets... is the fact he spent so many years without his beloved Faith, even if she did carry a part of him with her?" He reached out a hand to cup my cheek, smiling at the confusion on my face. "Cicero loves Faith, Valencia, Juniper and everyone else that she has been and still is. Because Cicero loves all of his sweet Faith. Although, he hopes that Ellery does not carry a part of her anymore since that could make things... awkward. Cicero thinks things might be awkward enough as they are, now that Ellery has his body back."

_I don't understand, Cicero._

"No worries! No worries! Cicero is just thinking out loud! Pretty Faith shouldn't bother herself with such things. Cicero would rather know what she plans to stitch for her Cicero since she said she is not going to stitch him a new Motley. Cicero... Cicero wants to thank her for understanding how he feels about his motley," he looked down into my eyes as he finished speaking, leaning forward to brush his lips against mine before pulling me slowly into a hug. "Cicero would truly be lost without you."

Hours later, we were riding hard towards Solitude, Cicero's arms around me as he led the horse, following Bastian along the path to end an Empire.


	82. Chapter 82

Even after having spent several minutes swimming through icy water before climbing aboard the Emperor's boat, I could still feel the blood on my hands, the shocked look of Captain Maro burned onto my eyelids as I had watched Cicero put his blade to use with a manic grin spread across his face. His laughter still rang in my ears, echoing within my mind as it was caught somewhere between haunting and beautiful.

I'd been so confused about how to feel, part of me wanting to be horrified at how easily he'd taken joy in stealing a life away, while the rest of me was... satisfied at the death of the one who had dared order the death of my Family. The very idea that I might someday come to enjoy death as much as my Cicero did... left me feeling ill, yet I couldn't deny that I was still deeply in love with him.

Ahh, but such thoughts should be left for another time. Right now, I should focus on making sure the area ahead of us was clear for Bastian and Cicero to move forward since we no longer had Ellery with us to scout ahead. No, such would have to be my job from now on.

Shifting to peer through the open door I stood beside, I held my hand up to indicate two sailors and a guard sitting in the room, sinking down as I prepared to sneak inside and take out the guard. When a blur of red and black rushed past before I could take a single step, I sighed quietly, knowing my Jester Assassin was already doing the job. He was truly taking the chance to use his blade in ways he'd been denied for several years.

"Die, die, die!"

_So much for sneaking through this area, silly Cicero. Ahh well, at least he's having fun..._

"Yeah... are you sure you're okay with this? Seeing him like this?" Bastian's voice whispered from the doorway as he watched Cicero dance about the room, a smile on his face as he finished off the last of the men inside.

_I knew what he was long before I fell in love with him, my brother. Besides, Amicus is an assassin as well, so I am not new to being around someone who enjoys killing. It wouldn't be right to turn him away now, simply because he sees death differently than I do. Just as he doesn't expect me to thrive on murder, I can't expect him to stay his blade when he finally has a chance to use it again. That would be... like asking Ellery to give up his life again now that he has it back. I can't be that cruel to him._

"I... I understand. But if ever-" He stopped when I held up my hand and looked at him with a sad smile.

_It's too late for me, my Bastian. To stop loving him now? That would be equivalent to cutting out my heart and asking me to somehow keep living. I would die for him, Bastian. And if he should ask it of me, for him I would kill. For him, I have killed already._

* * *

I walked along the edges of the room, looking at the items within the locked cases before my eyes strayed to the books filling the shelves and laying upon various surfaces. I could hear Bastian and the soon-to-be-dead Emperor talking in the background, only turning when I heard my Cicero speak up, impatience coating his words.

"We are here for a contract. We do not make deals with the targets of those contracts, Listener."

Walking over, I placed a hand on my Jester Assassin's shoulder, looking up into his eyes when he turned his gaze to me.

_What is going on? What deal do you mean? I... I was a little distracted and missed what everyone was saying._

Blushing, I lifted my other hand, a book held within my fingers before glancing toward the Emperor with a frown. He was watching the three of us from his seat behind the desk, a small smile on his lips that faded when he saw me looking at him.

"He wishes for the Listener to kill the one who made the contract," Cicero said with a growl, his fingers reaching up to tug lightly at his hair.

Setting the book down on the desk, I turned fully to my Jester Assassin and reached up to gently take hold of his hands, bringing then down to hold against the sides of my face as I smiled up at him. I could see Bastian watching from beside us, a small furrow in his brow as he kept glancing at the Emperor to make sure he didn't try anything.

_Don't worry my Cicero, Bastian knows better than to kill the one who hired us. It would be bad for the Brotherhood's reputation if we began killing those who would pray to our Mother, after all. No, that would do nothing to bring us more petitioners and I doubt it would do anything to bring more Siblings to our Family either. And we need more Siblings. Our Family has gotten too small. How can we spread our influence across Tamriel if we do not have a large enough Family to stretch Mother's reach with?_

Turning to stare at the man who had brought so much pain to people I cared about, even if simply as a byproduct of his choices and his war, I gave a sharp smile and looked back at my Cicero.

_My love, you have suffered more, have lost more than any of us here because of this man, whether or not by his direct hand. Surely our Listener would not deny you the chance to have a little bit of... justice._

For a moment, he just stared at me with his honey and gold eyes wide before a smile suddenly appeared, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned forward to press his forehead against mine.

"Really? Does sweet, kind Faith really think the Listener would allow poor Cicero such an honor?" I smiled at the excitement in his voice, his fingers moving to caress my cheeks as he pulled back to look at our Bastian.

"If Faith thinks you should be the one, who am I to argue. After all, she is Mother's favored Child," he muttered before turning to examine one of the cases on the far side of the room.

Turning back to me, his smile seemed to grow even bigger, the gold in his eyes almost glowing as he leaned forward again. Reaching up to pat his cheek, I grinned and spoke four words before joining Bastian to start unlocking the cases. No sense in leaving all the trinkets behind. The Emperor wouldn't need them anymore, anyhow.

_Have fun, my love._

The way his smile twisted at my words let me know there would be no mercy for the Emperor long before the first pained gasp was heard, my hands trembling before I forced them still and shifted the lockpick back into place to start over again.

_Calm, calm, don't think of anything but that which is before you. Just like Agrane taught you. What Cicero does will not stop you from your task. Focus Faith, focus and bring some lovely trinkets home for the Family you have left._

Taking a deep breath, I smiled when I heard the click of the lock, ignoring the grunt of pain from behind me as I moved to the next case.

_Breath. Just breath._


	83. Chapter 83

It had thankfully been a far quicker ride from Solitude to Dawnstar than it was to return to Falkreath after the assassination of the bride the last time we had been there. I felt far more relief than I had expected upon seeing the Black Door before me again, my hand reaching out at the same time as my Jester Assassin's and blushing at the feel of his warm fingers against mine when he looked over and smiled at me.

Soon the door was opening and we were walking hand in hand down the stairs to the sound of a voice whispering softly from nearby. Reaching the end of the small corridor, I turned to see Ellery kneeling in front of the Night Mother, his head bowed and eyes closed as his lips moved quickly.

"Mother, we have returned! Did you miss us?" Cicero called out as he released my hand and began skipping toward the large coffin placed upon the raised stone of the alcove, Ellery's eyes opening as he jumped to his feet.

"You're back! Faith, are you okay? Did Amicus keep you safe?" Ellery asked as he rushed toward me, his hands reaching out to grab my shoulders and turn me about as he checked for signs of injury.

Laughing silently, I reached up and grabbed his hands, holding them gently as I looked up at him.

_Ellery, you don't need to worry so. Of course Amicus kept me safe, not that we had much trouble with our Cicero taking care of most of the guards and sailors so quickly. Oh, Ellery, you should have seen the way he danced! So quick, so graceful! He-_

"I do not care about how he danced, Faith. I just want to know you are safe. I... I worried that something would happen while I was not there with you. Just because I'm alive again, it does not mean I don't worry that you will be taken away from me. What is the use of finding a way back if I end up losing you in the process?" He whispered as he pulled me into a hug, his arms trembling as he held me there.

"Ellery would do well to remember that Faith has chosen her Cicero as a lover. _Her _Cicero would not allow anything to happen to _his _sweet, gentle Faith, so Ellery has little to worry about as long as she has her Jester Assassin beside her. _He _will keep her safe from harm, forever and always," my Cicero spoke as he walked slowly up to us, his eyes wide as he smiled sharply at Ellery.

"And if the Night Mother should demand you stay behind while she is sent out?" Ellery nearly growled out the words as I stepped back from him and began glancing back and forth between two of the most important men in my life, while the other two who shared that distinction watched from behind us. "What would you be able to do then, hmm? How would you be able to keep her safe if you aren't even allowed to be there for her?"

_Ellery! Stop it! My Cicero is not the only one who tries to keep me safe, so if Mother keeps him at Home for whatever reason she has to do so, I will not be alone. I have so many treasures now that are willing to stand with me. Everyone in this room has done something to protect me when I needed it. Cicero, you, Amicus, and our Bastian have all stood with me. As long as I have each of you in my life, I will never be alone. And I'm learning how to protect myself, too, so that I do not need to be such a burden to each of you._

"But you are not a burden, Juniper. You will never be a burden," Ellery whispered softly, his eyes sad. "I'm so sorry for ever making you feel that way... I didn't want to, I swear. It's just, it took so long for us to work through all the anger, regret, and sorrow. But we did! You did, Juniper. You finally managed to let it go enough to move on. I just wish... that I hadn't ended up holding you back for so long. How can you stand to talk to me after what I've done to you?"

_Ellery... My dear Ellery... How could I ever not talk to you, when for so many years you were one of the only ones who ever understood me? Who seemed as if he could hear the voice I don't even have? How could I do anything but stand beside you again when you refused to leave me, even if I deserved it after what I had done to you? Surely that was far worse than anything you think you did to me. I stole your Laughter from the world, Ellery. But... I'm sorry, Ellery... As much as I have wanted you to forgive me for what I did... I need to move forward now. I still want you beside me, but I have so many things I need to do. For Mother, you, Amicus, Bastian... For Cicero and also for myself._

I brought my hand up and rested it against his cheek for a moment before taking another step back and turning to my Jester Assassin.

_Even if Mother makes you stay behind sometimes, I am sure she will let you come with us at times. And perhaps sometimes I will be able to stay behind with you. But no matter what happens, a piece of me will always be with you. You shall always carry my heart with you, my Cicero._ _Forever and always._

The sound of movement from further away had me turning once again, my breath catching at the sight that met my eyes. Babette, her eyes wide as she stood beside the Kitchen Master with our Wolf Nord still making his way up the stairs. The remains of what Family that hadn't fallen to blade and flame.

_Oh... I- I had forgotten what it felt like to lose my treasures. I don't like this, Cicero. It hurts._

Blinking, Babette frowned at me before speaking.

"Is that all you think of when you return? Your books and items that you lost? I... I had thought better of you than that," she crossed her arms as she watched me move toward her.

Reaching out, I patted her head before moving past to go down the stairs, my hand moving to give Arn's a quick squeeze as I passed him on the stairs. I tried to ignore the burning in my eyes as I began tugging at my sleeves, wondering where to add to the pattern so it would keep its strength while accepting the changes I needed to make.

"No, Unchild, you should not speak such foolish words. Cicero thought you smarter than that. Sweet Faith does not speak of the trinkets she picked up over the months she stayed with us there. As much as she likes her books and the things she likes to gift people, she will not miss them nearly so much as the treasures she has lost. For dearest Faith, the term treasure is saved for something far more irreplaceable than the items she collected. After all, does she not call Cicero her treasure? Has she not yet called you a treasure to your face? Cicero has seen her call many in the Family treasure when she did not know he was watching her speak to herself or her companions. Perhaps you simply had not shown her that you were ready to hear what you were to her? But that would not change how she saw you. No, she will always consider each of you a treasure to her and such a treasure can never be replaced, no matter how many more come along in the future."


	84. Chapter 84

I heard the footsteps behind me as I added another stitch to the pattern, the deep red petal caught gently upon the grey webbing that covered my leg. It would take a closer look than most would get to see the curves and loops that formed the names hidden in the curls of a few of the petals that looked as if they had floated down from the single flower resting on my hip.

"Faith? I- I wanted to apologize. I didn't understand what you meant when-" the soft words halted as I felt a hand rest gently upon my shoulder, holding the needle still as I looked up into Babette's wide eyes. "Faith? Why is _her _name on there with the others?"

_Because Commander Maro told us that he'd killed her after he'd gotten what he wanted from her. He had gloated about it until my Cicero slit his throat in return for his words. I do not know if he told the truth, if she lives or not, but I have no idea how to find where she would be kept if she does. And by the time I could find her... No, it might be better if she is already gone than for her to suffer that kind of fate. To be honest, its... It's almost like when I lost my mother all over again, no idea if she lives or not and nothing I can do but mourn for her._

"But why would you mourn her? Why put her name with those you called your treasures? Living or dead, why do you still act like she deserves your care?" She looked confused as she asked her questions, one of my hands coming up to grasp her hand and give a gentle squeeze before letting go.

_Because in the end, it does not matter how she treated me. She let me stay, even when it was obvious she did not want me there. She could have made me leave, could have sent me away before any of you came to know me and care for me and none of you would have ever thought twice of it at that point. But she didn't do that. Even if she grew to hate me, she didn't make me leave my treasures and go. She was part of the Family I grew to love and whether we got along or not, Family is always something to be treasured. Family is one of the greatest treasures there is and one that far too few understand the value of until it is too late._

I was unsure if the Not Child understood me but moments later I felt her hand upon my shoulder for but a moment before she turned and walked out of the room in silence, my fingers moving again to continue the stitches needed to finish the petal I was working on.

"Gentle Faith has a kind heart, to consider even Astrid a treasure to her. Cicero hopes that he can find a way to show his Faith how much of a treasure she is to him, one that could never be replaced. Nor would Cicero wish to ever replace her, even if he should someday lose her. No, Cicero would only hope that somehow he would be able to return to her side if that should happen," he said as he moved closer before sitting across from me upon the bed, making sure not to cause the bed to shift too much. "The flower petals are lovely, sweetness."

Silently watching my hands move for the next several minutes, he waited patiently until I had finished and put my needle and threads away before leaning over to press a gentle kiss upon my forehead as he pulled me into his lap. It was only when he wiped his gloved fingers across my face that I realized I'd begun crying once more, wrapping my arms around him as I let go of everything I was feeling.

"It will be okay, sweet Faith. Cicero is here for you. He will not leave Faith alone to mourn. Cicero knows that Mother will not demand he abandon her ever-faithful Child. Cicero won't leave. I won't leave you alone, not ever."

* * *

"We need to rebuild the Family. Faith was right when she said our numbers are too few. We need to grow if we want to spread Mother's influence across all of Skyrim, let alone Tamriel!" The Listener, my Bastian, stated confidently as he stood in front of those who were left of our small family. "I have collected a list of petitioners from Mother for those who wish to complete them, but in the meantime, I feel it is just as important to keep our eyes and ears open for potential recruits."

Taking a deep breath, I looked into my Cicero's eyes before nodding and stepping forward, turning once I stood beside my Bastian and looking out at my precious Siblings.

_As each of you is much more capable than I as an Assassin, I would like to volunteer to go out and search for new Siblings to join us. While out, I can spread the word that we are still active in hopes of encouraging more petitioners for Mother. News of the death of the Emperor will help, of course, but if people learn of our continued existence from multiple sources, they are more likely to act upon it. Also... also it will allow me to see if there is any word of what happened to... I need to... I can't sit here and not at least try to find out if she's..._

My Cicero wrapped his arms around me, looking out at our Siblings before turning to lead me toward the table along the back of the room, my head resting against his shoulder before I stopped and looked up at him.

_Sweet Cicero, you understand, don't you? Why I need to know?_

"Of course, sweetness. Cicero understands and he will see if Mother will allow him to go with his dear Faith. But if not, then Cicero insists Faith takes one of our Siblings with her. He does not want her to go out alone, not with the guards searching for the Brotherhood," he whispered softly, running his fingers through my hair as he used his other hand to guide me forward again.

"No need to bother. I will go with her, just as I always did before all of this. Between Amicus and I, we are more than capable of keeping _our _Juniper safe," Ellery said with a smirk on his face, his blue eyes narrowed as he watched my Cicero freeze in place at his words.

"Oh, but Cicero insists. If Mother allows him, Cicero will happily travel beside _his _dearest Faith. After all, Cicero and Faith belong together, for as long as Mother allows. And Mother adores sweet Faith, the Listener himself said so. As far as Cicero is concerned, that is as much approval as Cicero needs to call Faith his own. _Forever and always,_" my Jester Assassin said softly as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me against him while he glared at Ellery, eyes narrowed at the Jester even as he pressed his lips against my cheek.

_I'll take neither of you with me this time! Not when you are behaving like this! I'll take Arn with me! If he is willing to come, that is?_

Looking up at the Tall Nord, I stepped away from the man I loved and held out a hand toward the man I was asking to accompany me. Any other time, I would happily pick my Cicero and my Ellery both, but this time... Looking up into those far too sad eyes, I continued waiting with my hand out until I finally felt fingers slowly wrap around my own and smiled sadly at the man.

_If she is alive, we will find out where they have her. But whether she lives or not, we will bring her home. I promise._


	85. Chapter 85

_Are you sure it will be okay? Does Mother really want this? But who will care for her if not him? We might be gone for weeks searching for her... Not that I do not want him to come with us! Of course, I am very happy that he can come, but who will tend to Mother, oiling her and bringing her flowers so she knows she is still cared for?_

I peered up at our Bastian as my Cicero danced gleefully behind him.

"Mother says not to worry, she will be taken care of while he is away. Let him have his time with you, outside where he can see the sun and moons again after having spent so much time away from their light over the years he tended to her," he said before pausing, a blush appearing on his face as he glanced toward Mother's coffin. "Ahem, she says he deserves to see this world's sights reflected in your eyes before it is eventually replaced with the darkness of the Void reflected instead."

_The darkness of the Void? You mean, someday I will be allowed to stand beside my Cicero there? We will be able to remain together, even after we have left this world behind? Does this mean... my dearest Cicero will be allowed to be my forever if he wants it?_

"It is up to him to decide that, but if he wants it... then yes, you will be allowed to remain together in the Void, so long as you do not stray from Mother's arms. And the farther you extend her reach, the farther you will be able to travel in her name," Bastian spoke softly, his eyes wandering from me to Mother and on to focus on my Jester Assassin who was finally making his way over to us after completing his dance.

"Cicero will always want to be beside his sweet Faith, no matter where she goes or what she calls herself. Cicero would think he had made that clear the other day. But if he hasn't, then maybe this will do the trick?" My Jester Assassin said as he skipped over to my side before growing still and looking into my eyes. "Cicero will never want to be apart from his Faith. Cicero... _I love you_, forever and always."

I couldn't even blink as I lost myself in his gaze, the smile on my face growing as I felt him gently grasp my hand. I didn't even realize what he was doing until I felt something cold against my skin, breaking away as I looked down to see a band of gold settled on my finger. A single ruby sat perched between two pieces of onyx, the sight blurring as I continued to stare at the ring.

"So sweet Faith will never forget her Cicero, no matter how far she might have to travel from him someday."

* * *

I could almost feel the glare that Arnbjorn was sending at Cicero, even though the Nord was behind us as we rode ahead of him down the path and thus far had been completely silent. Certainly, he should be over his dislike of my Cicero by now. I'd even taken the time to talk to him about it, using up so much of the paper I had collected in the process as I wrote out line after line of carefully formed sentences trying to both learn his side of what happened and explain Cicero and I's side of things in turn.

Turning around to look behind us, I saw Arn turn his head to the side and stare at the snow-covered trees we were passing, his breath visible in the cold air. With a sigh, I turned again and got the attention of my Cicero, asking him to pass a message along to our Brother.

"Brother, dearest Faith wishes you to know that she is concerned for you and wonders if there is anything she or her Cicero can do to make you feel more... comfortable in this situation?" He sang the words out, a forced smile on his face, but I placed my hand gratefully on his where it rested over his stitches.

It would not be easy to get these two to play nice together, but it would be worth the effort if I could make it happen. After all, it wasn't like we had a lot of people to rely on right now and I'm sure Mother would smile if her remaining children got along better. Smiling back at our Brother, I held my hand out toward him, motioning for him to come closer. The moment he was in reach, I leaned down and grabbed his hand, fishing around in my pouch for a moment before closing his fingers around what I had pulled out.

I watched with a smile as he opened his hand to stare down at the smallest of trinkets, a simple wooden bead carved and then enchanted in hopes that I would never have to see him so hurt again. I'd left similar gifts behind for the other Siblings to find, each one carved specifically to match the Sibling it was left for. Seeing our Brother gently hold the wolf-head shaped bead in his hand, I wrapped my arms around my lover's waist and held him tight, pressing my lips against his neck near the wooden crow as I spoke the words to him.

_Thank you, my Cicero, for helping me make something special for each of my treasures._

He really was talented with a blade.

* * *

We had searched through Solitude with no sign of our Lost Sister, spoken with what contacts Nazir had been able to tell us of, as well as a few Arnbjorn had recalled hearing Astrid speaking of in the past. We had even tried searching the Guards Quarters, scouring through piles of paperwork and checking books for hidden notes, all with no success. It was only the passing comment by a merchant that had us heading to Dragon Bridge next, having mentioned the reduced orders from the Outpost there what with the drastically reduced number of Penitus Oculatus stationed there.

It wasn't until we had turned over every piece of furniture and opened every chest at Dragon Bridge, having let Arnbjorn release his pent up rage on the Penitus Oculatus guards within their outpost, that we finally found a single clue to her potential whereabouts. Although we still had no clue as to if she lived or not, at least we had someplace to start. If only the barely mentioned name of a Blackbriar in Riften hadn't brought such a look of rage to our Brother's face as he snarled, barely restraining himself from changing into his wolf's skin.

"Riften. Cicero likes Riften. Cheats and ruffians and cutthroats abound. Finally, some fun." My Jester Assassin spoke with a grin, beginning to dance about as he grabbed my hands and pulled me into a spin. "Perhaps sweet Faith can help us find a new member for our Family while we are there in search of our Lost Sibling."

_Once we have found our Sister, then we can focus on finding new members of our Family, my dear Cicero. Until then, finding our Brother's heart must come first. Just as I hope he would help you to find me if I was lost, it is our duty to help him to find his Astrid. But yes, with Mother's blessing, perhaps we will be able to find someone else to bring home alongside our Sister._

Once our dance had finished, I ran up to our Brother and pulled him into a quick hug before leaning back to tug at the lock of hair he'd braided the wooden bead into. It really did suit him quite nicely.

_Brother, we will find this Blackbrier and learn what they did with our Sister. If they have harmed her, I promise that their suffering shall be at your hands, my Brother. And afterward, we will still bring her Home to rest with our other Siblings who were lost. Our Family shall not leave her behind. I promise._

I could feel Amicus' hand rest on my shoulder as he whispered softly into my ear, _"Didn't your Bastian's red-head mention a Blackbriar while he was trying to flirt with your brother? Perhaps we should pay the Thieves' Guild a visit, sweet Faith."_

I could feel my heart skip a beat as I froze in place, my face losing its smile.

_Bastian's red-head? Bryn? From the Thieves' Guild? Surely they didn't have anything to do with this, did they? Don't make me have to break my brother's heart to mend my Brother's heart..._

Closing my eyes for a moment, I turned and met my Cicero's eyes as soon as mine opened.

_Cicero, how do you feel about visiting some thieves?_

"Will Cicero be allowed to stab any of them?" He asked, his eyes wide in excitement even as he brought his hands up to grab my shoulders and gently press his forehead against mine, a soothing warmth spreading through me at the action I had missed so much in the hurried days we had spent traveling.

Sighing gently, I pulled back just enough for him to see my lips as I smiled at him before speaking.

_Only if they have betrayed our Family's trust. I'm hoping that will not be the case, but I also realize that hope does not make something true. At the very least, I pray to Mother that our Bastian's Bryn is not among those who meet their end at your blade._

Leaning my forehead against his again, I barely heard his softly whispered 'oh' as I wrapped my arms around him, drawing strength from his warmth to meet the days still ahead of us.


End file.
